Real life friends still nursing? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 01-07-2011, 01:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I no longer know any mothers nursing children as old as mine. My daughter is 3 and a half, and I'm planning to let her nurse as long as she wants. I've got one mom-friend who's nursing a 6 month old and a 2 year old, the other breastfeeding mothers I know have tiny babies. My husband and mother in law are super supportive, so is my cousin/dear friend, and my father in law has been surprisingly supportive also. I think everyone else in my life is too horrified to mention it! Anyway I don't get a lot of criticism or negativity or anything. But I still feel pretty lonely sometimes.

 

Any suggestions?

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#2 of 11 Old 01-07-2011, 01:34 PM
 
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DS is only 13 months old and while I know mamas who have nursed as long or longer than I have (max is 17 months) none are currently doing so. when people ask I do say we are in the prosess of weaning, but don't know how long we will continue. It is the most honest response.


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#3 of 11 Old 01-07-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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#4 of 11 Old 01-08-2011, 01:38 AM
 
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I felt the same as you, until I started hanging out on parenting forums like this one, and met some wonderful friends who also believe in child led weaning.  We actually met in person, and we hang out together a few times a month.  I still have my old friends who think I'm crazy for nursing a 4year old, but now I don't feel so lonely and strange. ;)

 

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#5 of 11 Old 01-08-2011, 02:44 AM
 
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You know, I thought "Yes" and then "Wait", and I honestly don't know! I know people who are pro-breastfeeding and pro-extended nursing, but I think all my EBF friends have quit for various reasons (mostly pregnancy). I know people who *have* BFed for a long time - my last midwife nursed all her boys until they were 3 - but current extended nursers? I don't think so. It doesn't matter to me though, I have plenty of supportive people and nobody who's dared to be unsupportive. :p Well, DH's best friend likes to argue that it's "weird" to keep breastfeeding after 18 months, for the solidly scientific reason that his sister-in-law weaned her kids at that age... but he doesn't bother me. I shoot him down with studies and he mutters and shuts up, and life goes on. :p 


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#6 of 11 Old 01-19-2011, 07:51 PM
 
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I am in the same place as you. All of my  nursing friends are nursing younger children than my nursling. It doesn't bother me as much because I know they would like to make it to where we are at (2 1/2yrs) and so I am a good resource. I agree to hang on the boards. Do you have a La Leche League that meets near you? I love going to meetings and they usually have others with older nursling.


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#7 of 11 Old 01-20-2011, 07:02 PM
 
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I was blessed with friends who were extended nursers when my DD was young. I had at least two other moms with children just slightly older than my DD who nursed until between age 5 and 6. I think it was mostly a blessing for my dd to also have friends that nursed, because she didn't see any reason to not talk about it. I'm currently nursing a (almost) 5 yr old and 1.5 yr old. I don't know anyone else currently nursing a child over 3, but that doesn't really matter now.


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#8 of 11 Old 01-21-2011, 01:12 PM
 
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It's hard to be nursing the oldest child you know.  I was in the same position when my twins were young.  My twins nursed until they were 5 1/2 and 6, and I really didn't know anyone else who nursed that long IRL.  I had a couple of friends through LLL who'd nursed for as long, but their children were older and weaned by the time we met.  It definitely felt lonely.   It made me really glad to have the Internet.  Besides these boards, there are extended nursing groups at the LLLI forums and there is a Yahoo group for extended nursing.  There are other moms out there, it just takes some persistence and creativity to find them!

 

My IRL community has grown since then and I have a lot of friends nursing older children now.  LLL has definitely been the main source, not just my local group but becoming involved in the greater area to meet more moms and Leaders.  We also homeschool and there is a lot of crossover - the parents who followed their children's needs as babies and toddlers often end up homeschooling because we can't see starting to ignore their needs and hand control to strangers simply because of their age (just like we don't wean arbitrarily based on age).  So I've found a lot of friends with older nurslings, or who followed that route, in the homeschool community.  And an Attachment Parenting group started up in the next town, so we've met families through that.  Then, having DD#2 at home with midwives connected me to the homebirth community, with another group of moms following their children's cues.

 

After DD#2 was born, we had breastfeeding challenges due to her tongue and lip ties, and oversupply.  It was SO different than when I had my twins, and had no community.  I had midwives visiting my house every few days, friends who were either experienced bf moms, LLL Leaders, or IBCLCs (or all 3!) calling me and coming over to check in on us.  We found solutions and resolution much faster, constant support, and never ever a suggestion of giving bottles or formula, even though she lost far more weight than expected at first.  And now that's she's 2, I haven't heard a suggestion yet that she should be weaned. . . all my friends expect her to still be nursing!


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#9 of 11 Old 01-22-2011, 12:18 PM
 
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My older daughter is 4 years old, and we do know two other peers of hers who are still nursing, so that is nice.  Granted, we met them both through LLL when they were babies!  And while my daughter is technically a few months older than them, hey, I still know two other nursing 4 year olds!  I also figure that we might know others and just don't know about it (she does go to a pretty "crunchy" preschool...).  It's not like it's the kind of thing that people know about you unless you know them pretty well!


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#10 of 11 Old 03-27-2011, 07:16 PM
 
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Hang in there.  I have a friend who nursed her only daughter for roughly 7 years.  She laughs and tells me her "public" answer is 5.  Three of them shared the family bed until I think the daughter asked to have her own bed somewhere around the same time.  I know my friend worked very long hours in the daytime, so the evening "nursing" was for a sense of connection and bonding.  I do agree with a previous post, however, that maturity may have something to do with it.  She had her daugher when she was 41.  She NEVER cared what anyone else said or may have thought and was always confident, joyful, and radiant when talking of nursing at any stage.  She really is whom I look up to.

 

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#11 of 11 Old 03-28-2011, 10:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie T View Post

I am in the same place as you. All of my  nursing friends are nursing younger children than my nursling. It doesn't bother me as much because I know they would like to make it to where we are at (2 1/2yrs) and so I am a good resource. I agree to hang on the boards. Do you have a La Leche League that meets near you? I love going to meetings and they usually have others with older nursling.


I also found great support through LLL.  In my area (years ago, at least) they had specific "Toddler" meetings which were aimed at people with older nurslings.    I ended up in a book club composed entirely of LLLLeaders (and me, the lone LLL Leader drop out, lol) and when my son was the oldest nursling *there* I started feeling like he was really old, lol. 


 

 

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