3 year old still loves nursing ~ I don't. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 05-22-2012, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She'll be three on Saturday, and I am so tired of breastfeeding her. On weekends when she stays overnight at the grandparents I'm so happy to not have to breastfeed that I almost feel bad about it. She's just so big and mobile ~ she's wiggly, clamps down on my nipple with her teeth (not biting, but does leave small teeth marks) and wants to nurse about 5-10 times a day!

 

I asked her to not clamp down on my nipple and that was uncomfortable for us both, so she's back to leaving teeth marks.

 

I'd love for her to wean, but I also know how much she loves nursing, and I think she has some anxiety surrounding it because I'm always trying to get her off the boob before she's done. I love snuggling her, I'm just tired of not having my own boobs!

 

Any ideas?


Me,yummy.gif   DS, Peace.gif and DDdust.gif Grateful to the baby I lost for sticking around long enough to teach me what I needed to know so badly  candle.gif  We  love our forest valley home, our goats and chickenschicken3.gif, and wild harvested food-medicine coolshine.gif

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#2 of 6 Old 05-25-2012, 11:16 AM
 
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hug2.gif

 

I've definately been there!  As my kids got older there was definately a point where I felt jealous of my friends who had children who CLW from 2.5-3.  I remember talking to people who would *never* night wean and thinking, "Yeah, that's pretty easy to say when your 11 month old sleeps more than my 4 year old!!!"

 

Anyway, I definately understand the feeling.

 

There are a number of things you can do.  What is right *for you* is up for you to decide:

 

1) Unrestricted nursing.  Some children when given limits cling to nursing *more* than they would have anyway.  I have had limited success (definately not leading to actual weaning, but to better nursing behavior and less annoyance for me) by deciding, "I am going to let you nurse AS MUCH AS YOU WANT for the next four weeks."  Often kids are picking up on the negative vibe which stresses them out which... leads to clinging to nursing

 

2) Improving nursing behavior. She is old enough to understand that if she wants to nurse, then she needs to nurse.  When DS got to a certain size I was fine saying, "Oh, it seems like you need to wiggle.  Why don't you go do that and come back *when you want to nurse*"  Now, he was stilll an acrobatic nurser, but if he's grabbing his feet and trying to turn summersaults he can do that while my nipple isn't between his teeth!

 

3) Figure out what *you* are missing and try to fill that.  Sometimes women get really tired of nursing and it doesn't actually have *too* much to do with the actual nursing.  Maybe it's actually not being able to sit down without immediatley being pounced on.  Maybe it's not getting more than 3 hours of sleep in a row.  Maybe it's not having any alone time.  Think about what you think would change with weaning and see if you can meet that same need withouth weaning.

 

Good luck


 

 

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#3 of 6 Old 05-25-2012, 08:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What a great post.

 

Thank you!

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post

hug2.gif

 

I've definately been there!  As my kids got older there was definately a point where I felt jealous of my friends who had children who CLW from 2.5-3.  I remember talking to people who would *never* night wean and thinking, "Yeah, that's pretty easy to say when your 11 month old sleep more than my 4 year old!!!"

 

Anyway, I definately understand the feeling.

 

There are a number of things you can do.  What is right *for you* is up for you to decide:

 

1) Unrestricted nursing.  Some children when given limits cling to nursing *more* than they would have anyway.  I have had limited success (definately not leading to actual weaning, but to better nursing behavior and less annoyance for me) by deciding, "I am going to let you nurse AS MUCH AS YOU WANT for the next four weeks."  Often kids are picking up on the negative vibe which stresses them out which... leads to clinging to nursing

 

2) Improving nursing behavior. She is old enough to understand that if she wants to nurse, then she needs to nurse.  When DS got to a certain size I was fine saying, "Oh, it seems like you need to wiggle.  Why don't you go do that and come back *when you want to nurse*"  Now, he was stilll an acrobatic nurser, but if he's grabbing his feet and trying to turn summersaults he can do that while my nipple isn't between his teeth!

 

3) Figure out what *you* are missing and try to fill that.  Sometimes women get really tired of nursing and it doesn't actually have *too* much to do with the actual nursing.  Maybe it's actually not being able to sit down without immediatley being pounced on.  Maybe it's not getting more than 3 hours of sleep in a row.  Maybe it's not having any alone time.  Think about what you think would change with weaning and see if you can meet that same need withouth weaning.

 

Good luck


Me,yummy.gif   DS, Peace.gif and DDdust.gif Grateful to the baby I lost for sticking around long enough to teach me what I needed to know so badly  candle.gif  We  love our forest valley home, our goats and chickenschicken3.gif, and wild harvested food-medicine coolshine.gif

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#4 of 6 Old 06-03-2012, 09:06 AM
 
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I feel you!! Mine is four ( nearly 4.5) and I really can't wait for her to wean!! We want to have another child in a year or two, and I can't fathom co sleeping with two. I have loved nursing my little one and will gladly do it with the next ( and do all of APing) but I feel I need a little space. lol

 

Elizabeth

unschooling mom to Kaya


unschooling mom, family travel enthusiast and holistic living advocate

 

 

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#5 of 6 Old 06-04-2012, 12:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post

 

 

3) Figure out what *you* are missing and try to fill that.  Sometimes women get really tired of nursing and it doesn't actually have *too* much to do with the actual nursing.  Maybe it's actually not being able to sit down without immediatley being pounced on.  Maybe it's not getting more than 3 hours of sleep in a row.  Maybe it's not having any alone time.  Think about what you think would change with weaning and see if you can meet that same need withouth weaning.

 

Good luck

 

In the same boat over here, although my little guy is only 2. In many ways, he's so independent, but he still LOVES nursing, and asks to nurse every half hour or so. We had some success cutting it down to only a few times a day, but then went on vacation, so now we're back to the constant nursing sessions. We're going to start TTC this month and I just can't imagine nursing while in those first rough months of pregnancy or tandem nursing--although I know there are lots of mamas that do it successfully. 

 

I really like what you wrote TiredX2--it's not entirely the nursing (it's not physically uncomfortable) but more feeling like I have no personal space and that I have to be constantly available for nursing (or else put up with the tantrum that ensues when I say no--even a gentle no.) I loved BFing for the first 18 months or so, but the older my DS gets, the less I enjoy it. It makes me feel guilty to even admit that :(


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#6 of 6 Old 06-05-2012, 11:27 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gitanamama View Post

 

In the same boat over here, although my little guy is only 2. In many ways, he's so independent, but he still LOVES nursing, and asks to nurse every half hour or so. We had some success cutting it down to only a few times a day, but then went on vacation, so now we're back to the constant nursing sessions. We're going to start TTC this month and I just can't imagine nursing while in those first rough months of pregnancy or tandem nursing--although I know there are lots of mamas that do it successfully. 

 

I really like what you wrote TiredX2--it's not entirely the nursing (it's not physically uncomfortable) but more feeling like I have no personal space and that I have to be constantly available for nursing (or else put up with the tantrum that ensues when I say no--even a gentle no.) I loved BFing for the first 18 months or so, but the older my DS gets, the less I enjoy it. It makes me feel guilty to even admit that :(

 

hug2.gif   Don't feel guilty to admit that.  I think most women who have nursed have times they don't like it.  Honestly, I think that too much pressure is put on nursing to be this wonderful, transcendent experience that it's really hard for the reality to measure up.  In most aspects of parenting, it is just accepted that you're not going to *love* it, but you do it anyway.  Why?  Because it's what your child needs/ is best for them.  Most parents don't really enjoy changing dirty diapers, but it's not *expected* to be this wonderful experience---  it's something you just do.  Sometimes I think that it would actually be healthier for people to look at nursing that way--- I'm not saying you should continue through *anything* but if it's just not that enjoyable/not that great/whatever--- it's still doing a lof of good for you little one!

 

That said, a lot of kids start cutting back after two (depending on their personal development/teething/etc...).  I would have never believed at 22 months how much less DD would be nursing six months later (when I was three months pregnant).  She still nursed a significant amount for her age, but it was a *huge* difference.  Summer is also easier (for many people) to cut back because there are so many distractions.  If *you* need to set limits and cut back, do it.  I can really understand the feeling of having no personal space and encourage you to look at that closer.  Can you get some?  I found it made a HUGE difference to me to take a bath in the evenings when the kids were a little older (and I still do that now that they are a LOT older).  I didn't have to be gone long, but I could relax, read a book and just not be hung on by *anyone*!


 

 

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