DS is weaning and hasn't nursed at all the last few days. I offer, he isn't into it. I know it's time. I promised myself I would make it to at least a year and I did. I promised I would follow his lead and I am.
But I'm depressed. And it doesn't feel like a thing where he's weaning earlier than I want and I'm sad. It's more like, something is not right with my body chemistry. It feels like that kind of depression, when you're flat as Nebraska and just stare a lot.
I haven't found any information about how weaning affects a woman's body. Are there certain supplements right now I could be taking to help my body make the transition away from milk maker? Certain foods I need more right now?
"The Mothers are the brave ones." - Call the Midwife
Aside from depression as we did full 6.5 years and it is more then I have imagined In my wildest dreams and I am actually happy it is over for many reasons I still can relate to you on many levels and in general sense of something missing in me.. in us.. it is something that was and is not anymore..
I think tat we humans simply get attached to habits and they became parts of us and aside from
how beautiful nursing was and how wonderful it was to give a child this gift, now when it is over it seem sad in some unexpressed an unspoken way.. I can't speak aobut it with many including my husband who could not wait for the little one to finally stop so you know.. it is bit isloation with the emotions..
that and the some weird sense of grief.. you know, I believe that we are grieving of a loss.. it is some sort of a los after all, it is a loss of a beautiful process that was good and giving and however trouble it bourgh with it we got used to the routines.. I think it is okay to be sad, to miss it, to grive it a bit as if people who quit smoking get so much compassion and attention, we who are being "quit-ed" by a child for a lack of better word we have a bit of a sense of some sort of not being needed in a way that we have been needed for so long, we can't provide what we grew to provide.. and got quite good at this.. and it is not us who chosen the moment when it is over but them..
and no matter how we seem prepared it can still surpise the feelings that come after..
So mama.. however I think I am okay with it and happy it is over there is huge part of me that misses it and on the whim of my kiddo still pointing to boob I would feel like nurse but I won't as I know it is better that way for everyone and so that is even wirder..
My body on the other hand - another story, six months into it I started gaining weitght like crazy and got bloated and water retenton is an issue and periods coming too often ..
if youread my posts you will see my struggle.
It is only now that I figured out that I must be overloaded by estrogen and so I am going to try to get rid of it naturally. I started with cabbage, I pu it on my boobs, I drink fresh juice of fresh organic cabbage, I put it all over my body and I start seeing estrogen going away..
I did not have much depression issues per se but I think it is only because I got smart about juicing in general and at some point I really got into drinking organic fresh home made jucies of vegies and green apples and that loaded me with iron as I had huge deficiency after nursing for so long
and I had not only deperssion of some sort but also chills, and other iron deficiency symtpoms
so that juicing took care of my iron and depression went away like a charm and so dit my allergies and colds with it.
NOw I do daily a handful of blueberries and handful of raspberries and process them iwth water to make a smoothie but without ice and drink it . I feel great, no depression of any kind.
Yet grief and depression are different things.. I greaf the natural loss of the nursing and I thinkth
is is a process, I am not in terrible overpowering grief but there is that sens of sadness when I think of it and I let it be, I let muyself to feel it as I know it is normal and natural to grief after any loss so why not after weaning? even if it is a happy moment, but so is wedding? and moms cry, so is going to University by your little one and you get this sens of loss even if it is happy times for htem so why not to acklowledget the same right to feel empty-armed after nursing? just as empty nested?
hugs hugs hugs,
pm me if you want to chat :)
ps.. I noticed that anything that makes my estrogen rise like sarch, salt, corns syrop in drinks.. plastic water bottles..
that all is a horror now and I just have to avoid it as otherwise my weihght go up and it is because all that stuff makes my body to retain water as estrogen is really good at that.