How do I wean (3+yrs)?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 10-15-2012, 06:46 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm ready. DS2 is now 3yrs 2+ months, and I am totally ready to be done nursing. Don't get me wrong, I've loved it, but at this point I've been nursing for more than 5.5 yrs straight... and I'm just done. DS2 has gone w/o nursing for more than a week on 2 seperate occasions (once in February and again this late July/August), and on both occasions, one of the first things out of his mouth when he saw me was 'momma!! nurse?!?!' :p Cute, in its way, to be sure... but a part of me the first time (and a *very* large part the 2nd!) was really hoping he'd 'forget'... 


For reference, DS2 currently nurses 1-3x a day - usually once early in the morning when he joins me/us in our bed (4-6am), sometimes around 12-3 if he takes a nap, and then sometime in the evening, usually after dinner, shortly before bedtime. He rarely actually nurses to sleep anymore, thank goodness!! 


But yeah... how do I actually go about this? Do I just deny him? I'm just kinda at a loss... 

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#2 of 5 Old 10-22-2012, 08:11 PM
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Apologies in advance if this is scattered, I have prego-brain.....


I think that to some extent you do have to say no to him if that is what you want.  For me, it was easiest to cut down to one feeding a day first and from there move toward weaning, simply because I tried going cold turkey from a few short feedings a day and while she did not nurse for two weeks, at the end of that time I was engorged, and when she did ask me to nurse, I said yes because I was in pain!  I am happy I did because the way we are doing things now seems easier on both of us.  We are still in the process of weaning, but I think quite close to the end - I am able to let her have more choice over how long we continue nursing because I don't mind nursing her once a day.  But I am nudging her slowly... :)  Talking about how she is getting bigger and won't nurse like she did when she was a little baby.


That said, I do have friends who simply said, "Tomorrow you will not nurse.  The milk is going away."  And then just redirect with cuddling and stay firm.


I do want to point out that this is the child led weaning forum and I think you may be able to get more advice in the breastfeeding beyond infancy forum.

DD1 6/2009 DD2 5/1/2013-5/5/2013 (HIE) DS 3/2014
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#3 of 5 Old 10-31-2012, 11:13 AM
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Originally Posted by cyclamen View Post


I do want to point out that this is the child led weaning forum and I think you may be able to get more advice in the breastfeeding beyond infancy forum.

I agree.  I am not judging the OP at all, but I think a lot of people see the word "weaning" in the title of this sub-forum and think that this is the place to post mother-led-weaning questions.  It's regrettable, but a difficult issue to solve.  The whole point of the Child-Led Weaning subforum is that it's a place for mothers who do not deliberately wean.  We allow the child to continue breastfeeding until the age they decide they are ready to stop.  I think this question would be better in the breastfeeding beyond infancy forum or the breastfeeding challenges forum.


I'm not saying this is what the OP did, but I think it's ironic when people say "I'm ready to child-led wean.  How do I start?"  You don't.  If you're the one trying to make weaning happen, it's mother-led, it's not child-led.  (And then they tell people that they "child led weaned" their child, at the particular age that the mother chose.)  There are more people who want to *say* they CLW than there are people who are actually willing to continue the breastfeeding relationship until the age the child determines.


Didn't mean to end on a critical note.  I just want to repeat that I'm not judging the OP.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#4 of 5 Old 11-03-2012, 11:12 AM
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I weaned my son at 3.5 years old. By that time, it was just a sleep aid for him. I'm not sure I even had milk. I pretty much just told him that my milk was going away and it was time to start going to bed "like a big boy" (I know some of you just cringed haha). Anyway, I just gave him a small cup of cow's milk and when he was done with that he laid next to me and rested his little face by my chest like he was nursing. It really went quite smoothly. It's all about your approach and, of course, how well your little one uses other coping skills. Good luck.

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#5 of 5 Old 11-03-2012, 11:02 PM
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Thank you for the details :) I am still nursing my 23 month old and this is all new to me, my oldest I weaned at 17 mos, my twins had bottles and nursed both, but weaned at about 9 mos. now 10 years later I have our surprise blessing  - so much fun! He has never slept through the night lol, we are down now to a 2-3 am feeding and early morning at night time, but overall on average I nurse him a total of 6-8 times atleast in 24 hrs.

 My thoughts have drifted to - how will he ever wean, and I am not ready yet but the older he gets I know he will not forget it, so it is nice to hear how you did it, how do they give up snuggles with boobies? Esp being a boy? He may never want to give it up! lol

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