hi all thanks for your help, advice, concern....
I am 99.9% pg.
Child let weaning is not a 'goal' for me, I just didn't plan anything else, and don't know how to "force" wean. If I were not pregnant, this would not be an issue, I would keep nursing without even thinking about this. I have no problem nursing as long as my dd wants to.
I became pg 4.5 months after my first dd was born. By 6 months my supply was not enough to keep her going. she was HUNGRY. so we switched to formula/food. Thus I never had the issue of weaning before.
p.s. my first daughter takes a pacifier and is just as happy or even happier with her pacifier (even when i don't hold her) as my second is with nursing. LOng term, it seems that the benefits of a pacifier outweight the benefits of nursing-as-a-pacifier. Especially since I don't seem to produce much prolactin/oxytocin while nursing - definitely not enough to be used as birth control. Which leads me to say that nursing never puts me to sleep. In fact it keeps me up - kind of like "ok, finish up, I wanna go to sleep"
Insomnia issues - I have a hard time falling asleep, dont' always sleep too good, and when wake in the middle of the night need to fall asleep 'all over again' - it's a big issue.
So there. I feel like iI'm trapped.
Waiting to hear from y'all.