Help--Tandem nursing mom here sick of nursing 33 month old! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 01-09-2005, 11:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel so horrible about this but I can hardly stand nursing Sarah anymore. It just grosses me out. I don't know how else to explain it. I just feel violated every time she nurses, even though it's only 3 to 5 times a day. I am starting to feel burned out, touched out, perhaps. I mean, it's been longer that I nursed her since Ashley's conception than it was under "normal" circumstances (ie. not pregnant or tandem nursing). In other words I nursed her alone for the first 14 months of her life and then I got pregnant and it's been 19 long months since then, either dealing with the uncomfortableness of nursing during pregnancy or juggling my two tandem nursing girls. I can't even remember those carefree days anymore when it was just me and her curling up and enjoying nursing together. It's all so different now.

Yet, I feel terribly guilty for feeling this way and the thought of her actually weaning makes me sad. I always wanted her to self-wean, although I did nightwean her during pregnancy to save my sanity. Since then I decided not to impose too many restrictions on her during the day, but I do find myself asking her to wait or telling her "not now" or asking her to read a book instead. But then I feel bad about it, because she looks so disappointed, possibly even rejected sometimes. How do other tandem mamas deal with their feelings in the short term (get away from me) vs. what they want for their nurslings long term (child-led weaning)?

Sarah born 04/03/02dust.gif , Ashley born 03/13/04homebirth.jpg,  Rigel born 09/10/11 nocirc.gif

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#2 of 6 Old 01-09-2005, 08:26 PM
 
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I understand what you are going through I am tandem nursing a 32 month old and a 2 month old and I am at the stage where I am getting angry with my oldest for wanting to nurse. I have cut it down to nap time and bedtime, which might be a good idea. That way she can have a set time that works for both of you. Good Luck
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#3 of 6 Old 01-10-2005, 01:40 AM
 
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No real advice just some ! My Peyton will be 3 April 1st and Jadyn will be 1 on 2-24 and I am feeling kinda touched out by Peyton too. I was pregnant when she was 13 months old and its been a struggle ever since. Although, I still like nursing her, I do wish she would slow down.

Anyway, Good Luck to you and I hope you get some good ideas here

: :Mama to 4 girls and Michael is here 9/11/09 We love :::
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#4 of 6 Old 01-11-2005, 01:25 AM
 
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are you tired? or exhausted? i know when i get rundown (especially when travel is involved) i get like you said you feel. and that oct-new years stretch. a mile a minute!

try to get some rest, and try to remember those good times. hang in there. those good times will come back.

i love nursing my kids, but i still go through adjusting stages where i get "touched out" and try to avoid it. please don't feel guilty for being a human being!
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#5 of 6 Old 01-11-2005, 05:32 AM
 
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You're NOT Alone!
I've been going through the same thing with my 33 month old too.. it was giving me the ickies every time I nursed him..(this started about 2 months ago for some reason) it's funny cause I posted about this I'd say about 2 wks ago..I got so many supportive responses that it helped with my mixed feelings..and helped me not feel soo guilty for wanting to wean him : ..I had always said I would CLW..but I don't see him nursing past 3 yrs..I'm really feeling touched out at this point..I've been tandem nursing for 8 months now..I got pregnant when DS was 16 months ..so he we had a good deal of time enjoying our nursing relationship alone..and I seriously think I'm done with my almost 3 yr old..I think I've done my part..and now it's time to end it..even though it hurts/breaks my heart and makes me sad to know our Nursing Relationship is close to the end..he seems to be doing pretty well only nursing once every other day for 2 minutes..now that he's a Big Boy (he protests every time someone calls him baby)..he doesn't have to nurse 8 times a day..we do substitute with Alot of Hugs and Kisses, Reading, oh and snacking too (All Day Long)..
I'm in no way implying you to wean.. just wanna let you know that you're not alone..and you're normal for feeling this way..you're only Human Mama!
It felt worse at the end of the day..so Relax and try to take a break every now and then..whenever you do get the chance..if ever!
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#6 of 6 Old 01-12-2005, 12:04 AM
 
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I totally understand where you are coming from. Mine are 30 months and 16 months and I'm so totally fed up with nursing the older one. Funny, because I seem to notice the *ickies* creeping up on me when I'm ovulating and/or right before I start my cycle. Have you tried to figure out if that might be affecting your feelings? Once I figured out that it was related to my reproductive cycles, it became so much easier to focus on "it will pass, in a few days I won't feel like this", rather than "Ugh, I hate this, will she just stop already!" I mean, there are certainly days that I still feel like that, but for the most part, I am able to see past the ickies.

More Hope you feel better soon.
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