Scared that pregnancy is interfering with my clw plans. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 01-09-2005, 05:15 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm 4 months pregnant and up until about 3 weeks ago everything was going so well. I had my usual great supply, my 2-1/2 year old was nursing to sleep for naps and bedtime and maybe 3-4 times a day.

Suddenly in the last few weeks she began acting differently during the day, really clingy and crying a lot. She also seemed to want to nurse less during the day even when I would suggest it (which was a shock because she always loved nursing so much).

So in the last week or so I noticed that when she awoke in the morning for first nursies instead of nursing for 5-10 minutes or so and falling back asleep it was going on for 20 minutes or so then she would ask for the "other side". Even then after 10 minutes or so she would unlatch and want to get up and have a sippy cup of soymilk.

And I noticed that when she was nursing so long it was literally driving me crazy. It felt like bugs crawling over me--several times I was in tears because it was just so uncomfortable. Her little hands all over me, touching me was making me nuts. It's to the point that I either have to physically stop her hands and try and cover my skin with my shirt so she can't touch me. I feel so terrible about this because I know she knows something is wrong and I feel like she might think it's something she's doing.

I'm crying right now as I type this because I can't believe that this is happening. I cherish our bf'ing relationship so much and am really committed to clw. I feel like she is feeling like nursing is becoming an unwelcome thing for her to do. And well, it sort of is because I am not enjoying it.

Has anyone else experienced this? I feel like my supply is so low right now and with me sending her negative signals am afraid that she will wean before she is ready. I don't know how she would fall asleep, though, because that is how she's has fallen asleep every night of her life since birth......
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#2 of 3 Old 01-09-2005, 05:26 PM
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Yes! This is a normal, but scary response to a drop in your milk supply. I believe that Hilary Flower's book, "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" talks at length about the feelings that you are having.

It is still child led weaning if your child decides when they are done. I also really advocate rethinking CLW as Child respectful weaning. You can also talk to your 2.5 year old about the new baby and how to help the baby grow she can save her nursings for nap and bedtime.

I gently began weaning my 2 year old when at 4 months pregnant I had the same drop in supply and the crazy making feelings. We were down to nursing once a day before bed for about 20 seconds when my daughter was born. My son went on to nurse for another year, picking up his pace for a 3 month period when my daughter was 3 months old and he "remembered" there was lots of milk once! Then he weaned at about 3.6...

Good luck!
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#3 of 3 Old 01-09-2005, 05:54 PM
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I had the same thing through both my recent pregnancies. Dd#1 didn't wean in spite of it, dd#2 did wean during my third pregnancy. I still feel guilty about how I felt about nursing when pregnant and tandem nursing. I envy women who talk about how wonderful it is to tandem nurse, as that was not my experience at all. However, I did it for dd#1 as she would not wean.

As for dd#2, who weaned when I was 6-7 months pregnant, I often wonder if it was clw or not. I guess it was, but she would not have weaned had I not been pregnant. Maybe if I"d enjoyed nursing when pregnant, she would not have weaned either - maybe she got the vibes that I was not happy with it, although I tried not to show it.

I don't know if I"m being much help, but one thing that did help me was to focus on the fact that I was giving them a wonderful gift of a sibling. When I see my children playing happily together, or cuddling in bed, I can feel comfortable in the knowledge that when and how exactly they weaned is not important. Given the choice, I'm sure that they would choose to have each other, not an extra few months of breastfeeding.

If it is affecting your relationship with your child, sometimes I think you need to think about letting go of your ideals and gently weaning. I do sometimes wish I had done that with dd#1. It definitely affected our relationship for a while - eg I didnt like her clambering onto my lap for a long time as I dreaded that she'd want to nurse, and it was soooo painful. I'ts a tough situation, and I've been there - twice! THere is a place imo for following your heart and letting go of what you had 'planned'. With chidlren, not everything can be planned for.

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