Pregnant and Some Questions.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-10-2005, 12:32 PM - Thread Starter
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Ds is 20 months old and I'm in my first trimester. I really want to "use" child-led weaning (somehow that phrase doesn't sound right) but I have a few questions....

Yesterday ds would nurse and then take my nipple between his tounge and top teeth and streeeettttttccccchhhhh it until it popped out of his mouth. : I sat him down, said "no teeth" and started crying. It hurt SO badly. We went through a brief period of biting, back when ds was, oh, 6 or 7 months, but it hasn't been an issue since. I thought it was a fluke what happened in the morning (maybe he was still tired?) so I wasn't looking for it later on when he did the same thing! I sat him down away from me (not hard, just to get him off of me) said "no teeth" and closed up shop. Then he immediately wanted to nurse again. I explained, "Not right now, Mama's nipples hurt from your teeth, here's some water and I'll hold and cuddle you." So he's crying 'cause I won't nurse him and I'm crying because my nipple is really sore and that's the first time I've ever refused him. Am I weaning him? I really don't want to, but my nipples were so tender and raw for a while after that. He's not understanding that he's hurting me, just that I won't nurse him and that's not what I want to convey.

Also - How do you go about increasing your child's patience? If I'm cooking raw chicken I need to wash my hands before I pick him up and nurse him. Now that he's really started w/tantrums (like if the oatmeal has to cool down before he can eat it) if I don't pick him up or nurse him immediately when he signs/asks for it, he'll lose it 80% of the time. While I'm washing my hands (or whatever) I sympathise w/how hard it is to wait when you really want something, but I'll be there to help him as soon as I can.

I don't want ds to think I'm refusing to nurse him, but I don't think that asking him to wait the 45 seconds - minute for me to wash my hands or go potty is too much to ask. Is it at this age?

Sorry for the novel, I look forward to reading any suggestions for getting ds to not do this nipple/teeth stretch thing and getting him to wait just a minute before nursing. I posted here and not gentle discipline or the other bfding forum because I don't want to wean and I thought y'all would understand that here.

If you made it through all that Congrats! I'll be off-line for a while, but I'll try and get back on tonight.

Thanks again!
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#2 of 4 Old 01-13-2005, 04:21 PM
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I don't think you can really consider it CLW if the child's nursing is altered because of a mother's pregnancy. The decrease in supply or change in taste may cause the child to wean, but that really isn't CLW. The mother may be so sore she can't nurse the way the child would like to and that really isn't CLW either. Weaning is a process and withholding breastfeeding even for the best reasons is not CLW. I'm talking about limiting breastfeeding when the child wants to breastfeed in ways that are normal for a child of that age. For example, even though it is not common in our society it is normal for a 2 or even 3 year old to night nurse.

It may help to not focus on trying to CLW and breastfeed as much as you can tolerate. That may mean you end up weaning way before the child would have weaned if you had not gotten pregnant. The weaning may be difficult or very easy and the child may or may not start nuring again when the baby is born.

CLW can be an important goal for the mother and she may feel guilty because she got pregnant before the child weaned. Been there, done that. Sometimes pregnancies happen at not the best time for the child.
Some mothers can go throught pregnancy nursing with no problems and go on to tandem nurse for years and love it, both children experiencing CLW. Been there, done that also.

: Grandmother , 3 Adult Sons

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#3 of 4 Old 01-13-2005, 04:59 PM
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You can (IMO) practice child led weaning. Your son might have gone through this pregnant or not. It hurts, but I think you handled it well. Child led weaning is a descriptive title. Allow your son to choose when to nurse and when to wean. Follow his lead. Then you will be practicing child-led weaning. Eating garlic or changing to a vegetarian diet might change the taste of your milk- but doing so doesn't mean you're inducing weaning. YOu can still aloow your child the lead.

My advice is the same wether you're pregnant or not. Use descriptive language to explain that it hurts. Try to focus and notice when he is doing it before he is able to "complete" the biting.

If you think your supply might be changing, try eating oatmeal each morning for breakfast. I've done this through 2 pregnancies without much of a change in supply.
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#4 of 4 Old 01-13-2005, 06:18 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks ladies! Ds and share a BIG bowl of oatmeal every morning in the hopes of keeping some sort of supply - keep your fingers crossed. Since I posted he's only played the "stretch mama's nipple" game once and I treated just as I did when he was little and biting. (That sounds wrong, he's still little, but not AS little, kwim?) Delatched him, explained that biting hurts mama and then sat him down next to me. He seemed to be done anyway, so no trauma - thank goodness!

As far as the night-time nursing - I'm just going w/it. Right now we can sleep in in the morning and take naps together (w/him nursing through so that'll help w/supply too) so it seems to be working for us.

I'm already feeling guilty for getting pregnant now when we were planning on waiting until about when this one is due to start trying and thus giving ds what would have been another 9 months of unlimited nursing. So we're taking it much like those first days and weeks of breastfeeding, planning on going it for the long haul, but taking it one nursing at a time.
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