CLW before 1.5 - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 18 Old 01-28-2005, 11:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Let me start out by giving a bit of history. I have 5 children. Ds is 10 and I was young and ignorant when I had him. He was weaned by about 8-9 months. Ds2 is 6 and weaned at 3 when I was 9 months pg with dd2. Dd1 is 5 and just weaned a few months ago. Dd2 is 3 and still nursing about 1 time per day. Dd3 is 17 months.

A few months ago, dd3 was only nursing a few times a day. She was down to about 1 time per day even though I was offering more frequently she was not interested. She was very sick earlier this month and began to nurse from a long time again which I thought was great and she would get back to "where she should be" when she recovered. She did for a day or 2 as she was slowly getting better but then it stopped. She has only nursed 1 time in the last few days and it was only for about 1 minute.

I am so sad that she is weaning. She is my last baby and I had hoped she would nurse as long as her sister did. Nusring my children has been such a huge part of my life for the last many years and I hate to se it end. Talking to a friend the other day she reminded me that I should follow my child's lead. Chasing her around the house with my shirt off trying to get her to nurse is not doing that. While I do understand and agree with that, I just can not believe she is done.
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#2 of 18 Old 01-28-2005, 12:24 PM
 
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I'm sorry mama. Know that you have given her an incredible gift allowing her to lead the weaning process. Also, I think I've read here that some children will stop for awhile and then start again. Maybe she is taking a break?

My DD had a nursing strike yesterday and I cried thru it. I realized that even though I sometimes feel touched out, that I will miss it even more than that when she weans.

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#3 of 18 Old 01-28-2005, 01:48 PM
 
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I know this is a hard time. My DD only nursed one time during the day yesterday-then at night time. It was very hard for me and sad-I'm hoping it is just a strike, she hasn't been feeling well and nursing less during that time.
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#4 of 18 Old 01-28-2005, 11:41 PM
 
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I hear you. My 20 mo dd is weaning right now b/c I am 12 wks pregnant and there is no milk. Poor thing, i am offering all the time. we took a bath together today b/c she hadn't wanted to nurse all day and I knew that would do the trick.

anyway, I think you are doing all you can. definitely sounds like weaning rather than an abrupt strike. will she still nurse to sleep/before bed? that is our one nursing session that is holding strong
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#5 of 18 Old 01-29-2005, 12:16 PM
 
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Mydd weaned herself at 12 months...I remember having similar feelings.
My ds, however, seems to be totally different. He is still going strong at 2 1/2!
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#6 of 18 Old 01-29-2005, 03:29 PM
 
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Can I ask something of the moms with early weaners?

How did they not get sick when they weaned themselves? I mean, weren't they thirsty?

Were they really into solids or something?

And how about sucking? Did they just always have really low sucking needs (or did they start thumbsucking really early on)?

I've always wondered.

TIA,
Kay

 

 

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#7 of 18 Old 01-29-2005, 06:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Kay, Becca has been eating alot of solids for the last 3 months or so. She had cut back quite a bit on her nursing anyway and really liked her sippy cup with water. She has also been a tumb sucker since she was pretty little. I used to think it was cute but now think it had to do with her early weaning.

Carrie, unfortunately, she was never a huge night nurser. She loved to lay on her tummy and suck her thumb as she fell asleep. If it helps, my kids cut way back on their nursing when I was pg but after the baby was born, the nursed like champs again.

hallesmom, how old is your dd?

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even though I sometimes feel touched out, that I will miss it even more than that when she weans
This is so very true. I was always comfortable with my older children's weaning but it is so hard with her because she is still so young and tiny (she is not even 20 lbs and I know my milk is so good for her).

Becca, isn't it crazy how different our kids are? If she had been my first or even second, I may be feeling differently but having had many years with each of them, I feel like we are both missing out. It is also strange when nursing my 3 yo and knowing the babe is done.

Thanks for all your support.
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#8 of 18 Old 01-29-2005, 07:28 PM
 
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Tnrsmom, sorry your littlest one has decided that's it. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding me how different all children are.
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#9 of 18 Old 01-30-2005, 01:24 AM
 
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Stephanie---

Thanks for answering my questions. Most people who's children wean under two have done soooooo much of the weaning, I just wondered what it would look like with a mom who "knew" what CLW was, kwim?

to you and to DD.

 

 

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#10 of 18 Old 01-31-2005, 06:05 PM
 
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Stephanie

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#11 of 18 Old 01-31-2005, 07:36 PM
 
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My youngest weaned himself before he was two, it was so hard and I think I may have pushed him to nurse even longer than he wanted to because I was just not ready let that part of our relationship go. I still feel defensive when people think I was the one weaning and not him.
It's such a sensitive issue for people.

Hugs to you
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#12 of 18 Old 02-01-2005, 01:22 AM
 
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I weaned my oldest at 15 mos (I was young and not as educated, and getting a lot of outside pressure) I don't have as much regret
this baby, since I really felt at the time I did the best I could. You know - when you know better, you do better.
My second weaned around 21 mos, but I was pregnant and had almost no milk and terribly sore breasts, and wasn't terribly sad about it given the situation.
My third, I thought would be my last, and I figured it was my chance to have a more natural weaning. Instead, he was a determined thumb sucker from birth, refused to nurse for comfort, hated to NIP, and went on a nursing strike at age 16 mos, and I never convinced him to nurse again. It was really heartbreaking, especially since I'd so wanted him to nurse longer.
I ended up with a bonus baby after all, and she is happily nursing at 20 mos today, with no sign of a slow down, so I think I'm getting my more natural weaning experience this time. It helps some, but I'm still sad about my 3rd child's weaning.
On the positive side, #3 and I were still very close, he's a very snuggly child still, and seems as secure and confident as my dd who nursed longer. I'm still hoping my little dd will nurse a lot longer, though!
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#13 of 18 Old 02-01-2005, 01:28 AM
 
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I only have 2 dd's, dd#1 weaned at 15 months when I was about 8 wks. pregnant, just stopped being interested... LOL at "chasing her around with your shirt off" I did that for a while...

Kay, to answer your questions, she 1)never had a strong sucking need, actually didn't latch on until she was 5 weeks old, we did a lot of supplementing (and praying!)at first, and she was always a "lazy" nurser
2)she ate lots of solids starting at about 1 year. 3) She drank milks (rice,soy, and cow's) to beat the band... we really had to limit her, actually.

However, I really wonder if I should have pushed her harder to continue, I don't know... because her sippy cup of milk was really until just recently her comfort... she still needed that sucking, she just wasn't getting anything from me because of my pregnancy.

dd#2 is so different, huge sucking need, and I don't see her weaning early

hugs to you -
Jenny
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#14 of 18 Old 02-01-2005, 12:38 PM
 
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#15 of 18 Old 02-01-2005, 12:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2
How did they not get sick when they weaned themselves? I mean, weren't they thirsty?

Were they really into solids or something?

And how about sucking? Did they just always have really low sucking needs (or did they start thumbsucking really early on)?
My son weaned himself at 19 months, and we fully did CLW. In answer to your questions:

1.) No, he wasn't thirsty - he was old enough to drink from a sippy and had been for a few months. As for getting sick, my DS didn't.

2.) Funny you ask - this is a VERY long involved story about oral aversions, speech therapy, and osteopathic manipulation. If you're interested, I'll tell it. But suffice it to say, DS was NOT "into" solids for quite a long time, and finally was able to eat them a couple of months before he weaned.

3.) See above response - no, DS has INCREDIBLY low oral needs. He never ever mouthed his toys, never put his fist in his mouth, never chewed his books, etc. Again, long story about oral aversions...

DS was exclusively bf'ed for 15 months, and yes, I was educated, and and yes, I knew about CLW, so no claiming naivete here. But where he had been nursing 8-10 times a day at least, the next month was 6-8, the next month was 3-4, and the next month was just once a day, in the morning. Yes, I offered, but he has always been an exceptionally low oral needs kid.

Each kid is different, and I think it's a bit extreme to expect every family who practices CLW to be nursing their kid 3+ years. CLW is not about how long you nurse, but about letting the child lead the weaning when s/he is ready. After the last time DS nursed, he never EVER asked again. He was really done. I've heard about mama's who wean on their schedule (in other words, mother-led-weaning) and the child is often asking to nurse for months afterward, or whenever s/he sees the mom's breasts, etc. All I can say is that my DS was NEVER like that. Oh sure, when he WAS nursing, if he'd see my breasts he'd decide he needed a snack but once he was done, he was done.

This next kid I'll do the same thing - I'll nurse until the kid decides s/he's done. If that's before age 2, that's fine, if that's after age 2 or 3 or later, that's fine, too. There's a lot of factors, I think, that go into when a child self-weans.

I didn't have a hard time emotionally when DS weaned, b/c I knew he had done it himself, and it was his choice, and I was satisfied with that. Even co-sleeping never awakened the "gotta nurse" vibe in him. Neither did taking showers or baths together. He was just done at 19 mos.
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#16 of 18 Old 02-01-2005, 01:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for sharing your stories.

Kay, I am a bit of a judgemental person when it comes to bf. I am not proud of that fact, it is just my passion and I have to remind myself that sometimes people have good reasons for doing things differently. Had I heard someone say that their child self weaned at 16 months, I would have inwardly rolled my eyes and thought yeah right. This experience has shown be a bit more about the variances in normal. I mean heck my oldest dd nursed until almost 5. She asked about a month ago and I let her. I am a huge advocate of CLW.

Oh and another thing, interestingly Becca cut way back on her thumbsucking around the time she was weaning. She still sucks it in bed occasionally but she used to suck whenever she was sad, tired, etc... I find it odd that all of her sucking needs would decrease so much at the same time.
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#17 of 18 Old 02-01-2005, 01:16 PM
 
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My DS is almost 17 months and since I started back at work, he only nurses once when I get home and once when we go to bed. I usually have my mom offer him some EBM but he never wants it anymore. I know my being gone all day has sort of started the process, but since I -have- to work, I'm going to let him lead the rest of the way. But I really wonder how long he will hang on to those two times a day. It will be really sad for me when he does wean. He was such a sick baby last year and he's so healthy now, I just know that after I eliminated his allergens from my diet that continuing to nurse him was the best thing for him.
If he weans this month, I will still be happy because I overcame so many obstacles to nurse him and I've given him all the love I have and will continue to do so no matter if he's nursing or not. Don't be so sad, mama. You're doing a great thing for your DC!
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#18 of 18 Old 02-01-2005, 03:13 PM
 
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((((Stephanie))))
I can totally imagine my younger DD doing the same thing! She just doesn't need to nurse like her older sister does. I find myself offering to nurse her all the time, and she just grins real big and shakes her head "no" at me. She eats way more solid food, even more than her almost-four year old sister eats! I wouldn't be suprised at all if when older sis stops nursing, baby won't have any more interest in it either. She is always wanting things just because sister has them, or wanting to do things just because sister does them. *sigh* Sometimes I wish I could keep them both babies forever! when they wean, that's it for me, no more baby at my breast *sob* ever again...
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