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#121 of 417 Old 04-29-2005, 09:49 AM
 
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Hi, I am Uzra Hashmi from India. I am bio-mom to two children ds is 28 months and dd is 14 months) and mother 'by relation' to one (dd 21 months, who is bio child of my co-wife). I have tandem nursed (rather triandum nursed) the children and have been in cross nursing relationship with a friend of mine too. Traditionally I belong to a family where bf is natural and child led weaning is only understood. Controversies just don't exist on these matters. As a result, children well past the age of, say, 5 years, are not weaned finally though they might nurse occasionally and with gaps before completely weaning out. A good example is my dh himself about whom my MIL (may her soul rest in peace) used to tell that he had not finally weaned till the age of 8 years and often on returning from school used to ask her for a feed. Perhaps more out of emotional need. MIL always acceded to his demand especially as she continued to be with milk due to younger siblings of my dh.
To many this might seem a very different world, but we may always exchange information and views.
Uzra
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#122 of 417 Old 04-29-2005, 02:09 PM
 
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Hugs to all here! I am teary eyed after reading all the stories, especially ones when moms had not planned on nursing, didn't have support or suffered a lot during the first weeks.

I am a 29 year old mama to my 34 month old daughter. Before I had kids I figured I would nurse to 6 months. Then when I got pregnant unexpectedly after finally getting into nursing school, I decided I would nurse for 1 year. After I had her and started reading online and books, I decided we would just follow her lead. My DH has come around a lot as well. He said 6 months, now he is a firm supporter of her still nursing.

I can't see her stopping very soon. She nurses to sleep, a few times in the early morning and 1-4 times a day, depending on the day.

I am very comfortable with her still nursing, though I do not broadcast it to the world. I do tell my patient's (I work in Couplet Care/Mother-baby) that I am still nursing her if they ask, hoping to be someone they remember when they still want to breastfeed and the world is telling them to wean. Some of my co-workers know and I know of at least 2 who freaked about it, but oh well.

My dad and sister probably think she weaned already and my MIL will be in for a shock when we visit her in Mexico this summer and her 3 year old grand-daughter is still nursing! She was hinting at too old when we were there and she was 20 months old. My close friends know and support me, even if they don't agree with it or find it uncomfortable for them.

I treasure each day she nurses because it is always a time when we reconnect. Bad feelings disappear and she relaxes into my arms and is my sweet little girl. I can always see that little baby I first started nursing when I close my eyes. I love to see her breastfeed her babies and try to get "leche" from herself. "Mami, no tiene leche mis chichis" (my breasts don't have milk), she will say to me when trying to see if she has any. It is funny.

I do secretly hope she will be done by 4, but she will be the one to decide. I think 4 is my comfort zone, but that could change as well. Before she was born I couldn't imagine breastfeeding a 2 year old and remember freaking out when I saw a 3 year old nurse when I was 19! I have come far!

I rarely post here, but I do read posts and learn lots!
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#123 of 417 Old 04-29-2005, 03:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uzra_hashmi@rediff
Hi, I am Uzra Hashmi from India. I am bio-mom to two children ds is 28 months and dd is 14 months) and mother 'by relation' to one (dd 21 months, who is bio child of my co-wife). I have tandem nursed (rather triandum nursed) the children and have been in cross nursing relationship with a friend of mine too. Traditionally I belong to a family where bf is natural and child led weaning is only understood. Controversies just don't exist on these matters. As a result, children well past the age of, say, 5 years, are not weaned finally though they might nurse occasionally and with gaps before completely weaning out. A good example is my dh himself about whom my MIL (may her soul rest in peace) used to tell that he had not finally weaned till the age of 8 years and often on returning from school used to ask her for a feed. Perhaps more out of emotional need. MIL always acceded to his demand especially as she continued to be with milk due to younger siblings of my dh.
To many this might seem a very different world, but we may always exchange information and views.
Uzra
Uzra, I am so glad you are here.

I was hoping we had mothers from India here in the forum, as I have heard India is far more accepting of breastfeeding. My friend (a mother of 3 of my former students) once planted the seed in my head that breastfeeding, as long as they need it, is healthy and normal. My dd was 6 months old and we were visiting in-laws in California. It was crowded and Dd was getting fussy so I started to go back into the bedroom to nurse her. My friend (Rita) told me that it was okay to nurse her there, so she had us all (including her 2 daughters) sit in a circle to talk while I breastfed her. She sat right next to me and was so very welcoming, assuring and accepting of it. She is an amazing woman. She is from India and said that breastfeeding was very accepted and encouraged there, where she lived, and that she breastfed her dd's "for 3 years" (which shocked me at the time :LOL). Amazing how one woman can have such an impact.

Anyway, I am so glad you are here to share your experience and perspective from India.
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#124 of 417 Old 04-29-2005, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Nurse
I treasure each day she nurses because it is always a time when we reconnect. Bad feelings disappear and she relaxes into my arms and is my sweet little girl. I can always see that little baby I first started nursing when I close my eyes.
(splice)
I do secretly hope she will be done by 4, but she will be the one to decide. I think 4 is my comfort zone, but that could change as well. Before she was born I couldn't imagine breastfeeding a 2 year old and remember freaking out when I saw a 3 year old nurse when I was 19! I have come far!
I once felt the way you did, I couldn't imagine dd nursing even until 4, but those feelings you described never went away even when dd was 7. It felt just as right to continue, and just as wrong to make her stop, as when she was 3. Mother instincts are pretty wonderful.


Quote:
I love to see her breastfeed her babies and try to get "leche" from herself. "Mami, no tiene leche mis chichis" (my breasts don't have milk), she will say to me when trying to see if she has any. It is funny.
:LOL :
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#125 of 417 Old 04-30-2005, 02:33 AM
 
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Dear Michelle,
I am glad that you readily confirmed my basic position about breastfeeding in India by giving a wonderful example of the healthy impact of the suggestion and advice given by your friend Rita that you practised. I may only add that ours is a country of great variety and attitudes are fast changing under the impact of 'modernization' and increasing pressure on women to work outside home. Still on the duration of bf'ing and CLW the position of say 2-3 decades ago here would be found healthier. There seems to be lack of information on bf'ing on this side of the world. Encouraged by your remarks I offer myself to inform whatever I know about CLW in this forum and generally on bf'ing and other uses of breast milk on this side of the world in private communications.
Uzra
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#126 of 417 Old 05-01-2005, 03:22 PM
 
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I don't know if I'm a CLW yet. Part of me says "yes, let them decide when they're ready to quit" and part of me says "my comfort level is 3 years" or "ok, I can't CLW 2 kids because tandem nursing is already driving me batty!" Plus, the fact that I'm still nursing our 22mo ds is a sore spot in my relationship with DH. He's very encouraging of my bf relationship with the baby, and was with our ds too, and often, if I tell ds "no, you have to wait a minute" and ds cries dh asks why I'm not nursing him. There are days, though, that dh and I argue about my still nursing ds. He knows that I won't wean him before he's 2, but I worry about the stress of arguing with dh about still nursing vs. the stress of weaning before ds is ready. I don't know. I'm very much in limbo on the idea.
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#127 of 417 Old 05-01-2005, 09:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mother_sunshine
She is from India and said that breastfeeding was very accepted and encouraged there, where she lived, and that she breastfed her dd's "for 3 years" (which shocked me at the time ). Amazing how one woman can have such an impact.
Well, you certainly have paid forward her support, encouragement and are living, breathing PROOF of how much good one woman can do Michelle.

 

 

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#128 of 417 Old 05-02-2005, 01:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow!

Thank you

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#129 of 417 Old 05-02-2005, 04:28 AM
 
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My name is Hali. my 2 yr old daughter was born by c-section exactly 10 minutes after my dad passed away. She was breech and everything I tried to turn her was in vain.I guess it was all meant to be, because I got married and we got pregnant 3 weeks later(We had decided not to have children.I was 41 and thought I was too set in my ways). My husband asked me to nurse and I said I'd try...(I couldn't even believe I was married let alone pregnant!) I think it was the only adamant request he'd ever made.I thought I'd go 3 months and see how it went.Then it was 6 months.The next thing I knew 18 months had passed and Kira was nursing as much as ever.We are so grateful and thrilled to be where we are. Kira is a joy. She's healthy strong confident amazing. If anyone ever suggested this to me 5 years ago I would have never believed it. Reading these pages of the forum has reinforced all of my feelings. Sometimes it is challenging. I have always nursed in public, and am now not as eager to do so. But when kira asks i don't say no. Anyways thanks for being there.
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#130 of 417 Old 05-02-2005, 08:18 AM
 
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Kira's mom, glad you are here

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#131 of 417 Old 05-02-2005, 09:48 AM
 
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Hi Kira's mom, welcome! If you're interested, come on over to the "Moms over 40 with babies and young children" thread in Finding Your Tribe!
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#132 of 417 Old 05-02-2005, 11:23 AM
 
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I just found this thread last night and I'm still working through it, but thought I'd introduce myself here anyway! I haven't made it over to this board because the term 'weaning' frightens me at this stage in my daughters life (she is 2),

My mother breastfed all of her children for over a year, despite various complications and an unsupportive church community, and parents who weren't sure what she was up to. I self-weaned at 12 months (1980) due to the change in my moms milk during her pregnancy with my sister. My youngest brother breastfed for 4 years, and would have liked to go longer , each child nursed for progessively longer, and Will got in on the family bed too! But he was circed despite my protests , Mom really regrets that now.

I always knew that I would do things the 'natural' way with my kidlets, breastfeed, homebirth, cloth diaper, family bed, AP etc etc etc. DD is 2 now, and despite a rocky start with no nursing the first night, and fussy nursing for the next six mmonths, we finally found some help for her behavioural issues from a Heilkunstler (expanded form of homeopathy) and nursing has just been getting better and better. I tell people who are pregnant that it can be difficult in the beginning, but it only gets better the longer you nurse for !!

Thanks for the stories and the smiles, I'm still trying to read the entire thread .
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#133 of 417 Old 05-02-2005, 11:22 PM
 
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Hi! My name is Niccole - (yes it really does have two c's).

I stumbled upon this site while on my quest for as much information on Attatchment Parenting as I could find, and I love the vibe- its so comfortable here. I won't be able to contribute much, since I have no children of my own (yet).

However-

I love the concept of AP, (must have always loved it, even though I didn't know it had a name until recently.) In the two years since my friends started having their babies, I've watched them struggle with aspscts of parenting that seemed to have such simple solutions... the high cost of formula and diapers, the bulkie strollers and car seats in restaurants, endless worry that their formula fed babies weren't gaining enough weight, or were allergic to the formula, or got terribly sick after their vaccinations...

Now that their babies are toddlers, they are worring about sleeping throught the night, and sleeping in their own bed, and self soothing... the babies are so upset and the parents are so conflicted, trying to be "good" parents. I promised myself and my future children that I'd "do it differently". I believe in informed decisions, so I've been reading everything I can point and click on. (while waiting for the books I've ordered- )

These discussion boards are so interesting, and so helpful, I hope you won't mind my lurking about, occationally asking a question or two (or ten).
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#134 of 417 Old 05-03-2005, 12:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Niccole, welcome!
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#135 of 417 Old 05-06-2005, 06:35 PM
 
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hi I'm Chandi

I am tandem nursing my 2 daughters, Peyton is 3 and Jadyn is 14 months. Some days (usualy nights) I really feel like I need to wean P. But its very very clear that she needs the comfort of nursing yet.

Anway, My dh is Mike and I have another daughter who is 7.

Chandi

: :Mama to 4 girls and Michael is here 9/11/09 We love :::
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#136 of 417 Old 05-07-2005, 01:33 AM
 
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Talk about a journey!Whew!I finally read all these great posts! I've laughed,I've cried,I've nodded,and mummbled,I even clapped a few times!This is exactly what I've craved for the last 6 mo.!What a great group of amazing women and families!I am so exited to share this experience with all of you.I am super exited to learn from the other cultures present-I noticed Germany and India...doubtless others,as each family kindof has its own unique mini- culture.
I am Audrey.I'm 26.My Soulmate and I just celebrated our 6th Anniversary,and in that time we have had 3 children.A. is 5,he was born at home,and nursed like a charm once we got him to open his mouth!I hemmoraged,andhad to lay down for the first 24 hrs.so we got side nursing down first thing.This (and Dh working nights)naturally led to co-sleeping...and A. and I share deep best-buddy bond to this day.He had a nursing strike at 4mo. By 6 mo. he was totally uninterested!I had planned to nurse at least 2 years!We dredged through formula for the next 6 mo.(when he was 8 mo. old I got pregnant and was very ill for 3 mo.at which time we miscarriaged and new life was breathed into my body!When he was 9 mo. old we started going to L.l.l. meetings-with a bottle! I tried re-lactating,but he would just look at me, like huh?He loved the mobility of the bottle,and had no interest!On the weekend of A's first birthday,we conceived D.Long story short,(A.weaned from bottle when D. was around 3 mo. old)D.nurses like a pro also,and still is at 45 mo.(3 3/4 yrs.)and little sister E. is also nursing right along at 18 mo.We have attended the same L.l.l. group for over 4 years now!(our Leader nursed her daughter past 10, I think,possibly 12...)
Tandem nursing has been a rollercoaster ride-but with 3 levels!(baby,sister,and mom)truly,a crazy ride!We are currently comming out of a long 4,6,8+ mo.sour spell.I think primarily because I was neglecting my own needs and health...I have been struggling with keeping it positive with D. and not doing so good until lately.I am taking better care of myself,and am much more positive and available.Our best trick of late it "a 60 hippopotamus 'een'"(een is her word for nursing)I let her nurse while I count 60 hippo's.Sometimes they are fast,and sometimes not...on occasion,they have taken to hiding in tickle-spots,and hippo's can be slippery to catch!Those are very tickley times!I have,obviously been setting boundaries.I have a very hard time with both girls latched,so we next-to-never do that.We sort-of co-sleep,some nights all the girls sleep on my bed,some on D's futon,some D sleeps on her bed alone,or with dad,etc...with more variations...Dh is learning to be more supportive every week,and knows asking questions turn into long introspective diologues(boring for him)or "How should I know?" and well,let's ask them...All 3 kids nurse their babies,and give birth ,for that matter...All 3 are also waiting for dinner,so I've got to go,but I'm so glad to know this support is here!

:::
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#137 of 417 Old 05-13-2005, 07:32 AM
 
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Hi, keep bumping into this site on google. I figured I must join. I am 33 and am nursing a 4 year old (and 3 months). I needed some strength. I read most of these intros and it is encouraging. I love my son and I have been in it for the long hall 'til lately (I have health issues). My family were supportive up to a certain age in their mind and now the number is dwindling. my grandpa's remembers his brother nursing 'til he was 5. Everyone just wants me to get better. The disease wont necessarily progress without meds but it reverses the disease once you start taking the meds.

I was excited about Urza's post. Thank you for sharing. I have secretely wanted to have a co-nursing relationship with another mother. People think of health issues and what the milk contains. So it is a real trust issue to nurse someone elses baby. But I have known about women doing this in india and africa.

Lex
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#138 of 417 Old 05-13-2005, 10:59 AM
 
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s lexcrump

and



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#139 of 417 Old 05-13-2005, 03:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome Lex
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#140 of 417 Old 05-13-2005, 07:14 PM
 
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Hi, I am Kellie, and I am nursing my 2 1/2 yo ds, William. I knew I would nurse my child even before I got pg, but like so many other mamas here I never expected to be nursing this long. It just happened....six weeks, then six months, then one year, then two years went by and I was still breastfeeding him.

I used to tell people I was going to wean William at two years, but as we got closer to that date I knew we weren't ready to end our nursing relationship. William continues to nurse on demand night and day.

He is a petite boy, and he doensn't eat a large quantity of solid food. I have been told by lots of people to wean him so that he will eat more, but I am trusting that he knows what his body needs. He is very healthy and very bright.

I wish I knew more mamas in my community who are nursing their toddlers. MDC feels that void somewhat thanks to all of you mamas!
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#141 of 417 Old 05-13-2005, 08:43 PM
 
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Lex,
I can relate to your post! I have endometriosis, and it has always been my determination that has kept me BFing till preschool years.LOL!!

I weaned(due to PG and my low weight post surgery) dd when she was 4.2 yo.

I am BFing my ds who will be 4 yo in July.

However, I am getting so ill, that I am going to have another surgery in the fall(if I can wait that long), so, I feel like I don't belong here anymore, as my nursing relationship will end before I have surgery. I will have a full hysterectomy and other gross surgery. I feel angry that once *again*, endo has defined another part of my life !!

If I could nurse my ds til he is 6 or 7, I would be thrilled!! But, it is not my reality.


I am always lurking, stick to your convictions and follow your dc MOms!!!!!

mp
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#142 of 417 Old 05-14-2005, 01:17 AM
 
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Hi, Im new to this "area".

I just posted a little about myself on my thread about turning into a CLW. (Child lead weiner? LOL!)

Looking forward to support...

-Nicole
Ft. Myers, FL
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#143 of 417 Old 05-17-2005, 11:54 AM
 
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Well, it's still early days for us here, as dd just turned 11 months yesterday, but there's no doubt in my mind that the nursing relationship is here for her, on her terms and for as long as she would like it to continue. I cannot imagine making the choice to stop....(oh, and mp, I don't see it as your choice...if your body would cooperate you wouldn't be weaning, right? you are an awesome mama...)

I've just been refused dental surgery because I wouldn't wean dd...even though I bought in reams of info about the drugs involved and their safety, and agreed to sign a waiver. The surgery has been rescheduled for August....they (hehehe) believe that dd will be weaned...and I am not planning on correcting that impression. I hate hate hate being sneaky, but I will not be pushed to wean. :

I am so glad to find so many like minded mamas here...long may the nursing continue!
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#144 of 417 Old 05-17-2005, 01:48 PM
 
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CLW here!
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#145 of 417 Old 09-10-2006, 12:37 PM
 
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I need help. Will some one please explain the abbreviations to me. I know know CLW, but what's ds dd and all the others that are thrown around? Will some one please teach me the basics so I'm not so lost?:
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#146 of 417 Old 09-10-2006, 12:45 PM
 
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Oh bumble bee I have the same problems in the dental department. I was having major work done and had completed one of 3 major jaw surgurys, then a few months later I became pregnant and had to put a stop to it because I couldn't eat well enough and I had no relief for the pain. Now after $2000 of work and $5000 more to continue, my ortho and surgeon are screaming at me because the work they've done is slowly deteriorating, but with medication and surgery I refuse while breastfeeding and I'm only at 7 weeks! So now a 7 year proceedure will likely turn into 10! And the worst thing is I didn't even want my teeth done my mother did, but now that I've started I can't stop.
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#147 of 417 Old 09-10-2006, 12:50 PM
 
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: mamas! I don't think I have introduced myself before but I visit this forum alot. I am currently nursing my 3 year old son and my 8 month old twins. I do place some restrictions on my 3 year old and have to say no sometimes but I feel that he is old enough to understand needing to wait. He is very attached to nursing and I don't see him weaning anytime soon. Part of me wishes he would wean but most of the time I am glad that he is still nursing. It is cute to see him tandem nurse with one of the twins and how they bond. Plus he is one of the healthiest toddlers I know, he is never sick. My desire is to practice CLW with all my children but we are just taking it one year at a time with the twins and one month at a time with my toddler. I guess I am rambling now but that is my little intro.

Blessed mama of four
::
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#148 of 417 Old 09-10-2006, 02:19 PM
 
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CLW here

I'm tandem nursing 3 yo dd and 8 month old dd. My 3 yo is no where close to weaning herself and easily outnurses her sister. She just loves it so much. I am her lovee, her blankie, her pacifier, all rolled into one. Sometimes I get touched out with two needing me, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I always wanted to breastfeed my children and was very angry at myself when I didn't have enough support in the early days with my firstborn. I ended up putting her on formula after three days, and endured 8 years of feeling like a failure in my eyes. I knew then I'd try harder next time and not let fears or pain get in the way. I never thought I'd get to a month, two, six, and good Goodess a year!!? Nevermind 3 years and tandem to boot! I have definatly evolved and grown along with my daughters. I'm so blessed to have the oppurtunity to provide the best nurishment and comfort for them.

Ps. also ttc here as well

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#149 of 417 Old 09-10-2006, 07:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Chronic Chrissy
I need help. Will some one please explain the abbreviations to me. I know know CLW, but what's ds dd and all the others that are thrown around? Will some one please teach me the basics so I'm not so lost?:
Welcome Chrissy.
ds=dear son
dd=dear daughter
Here's a good thread that lists a lot of the acronyms....
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ead.php?t=2080
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#150 of 417 Old 09-10-2006, 07:12 PM
 
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Hi Mother Sunshine! Long time no see! I don't get to this forum as much as I used to either. Hope all is well with you!
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