It's all complicated for me because I weaned DS#1 at 3yo, when neither he nor I were ready, and (have posted before about this extensively, years ago) I handled it *very* badly.
I was working out all sorts of issues within the framework of this nursing relationship/weaning, including his being a high-need child with a certain tactile/sensory issue involving constantly touching and my just being 'touched out," including dealing with my relationship with DH, including dealing with tandem nursing him with baby/DD#1 and having no support for it and not knowing anyone who was actually tandem nursing ... and with my as-yet-unMDC'd self unaware of GD and its application, lost my temper with the poor little guy a few too many times ... oy. Can only beat myself up for this so much, have already been doing it for several years now ...
With that opening ... DS#2 is turning 3 b'H
and am handling it quite differently, to say the least ... and part of that is CLW. And the only thing that's for certain about it is that his continued nursing ensures that he gets some good solid time sitting or cuddling with me that, with our chaotic days, probably wouldn't happen if he'd stopped nursing.
It's interesting that when DS#1 (now 7yo b'H
) occasionally discusses nursing ... like remembering it, or when he and DD#1 talk to DS#2 about weaning (*they* bring it up, not me
) ... he is always wistful about it. And he said just a few weeks ago that he misses nursing because he always got to sit on my lap when he was nursing, and now we can go days without a few moments of peace and quiet together (read: without the other children involved/interrupting).
Nuthin' sexual there, you know?
Interesting, too, how the question of sexualizing nursing doesn't come up as much with girl children. Or does it?
Anyway, so we all still have the family bed, and DS#1 and I don't get to cuddle much anymore (the babies are in between) but there's the issue of DH not getting to cuddle with me much anymore (the babies are in between) so DH actually gets annoyed (jealous
) if I cuddle DS#1.
So there's the *only* issue involving sexualization ... that it deprives me & DH of part of our relationship: going to sleep holding each other. So usually if I'm in a situation to get into bed and choose who to go to sleep holding, I'll choose DH ... and sometimes just to avoid him growsing at me about us "never cuddling anymore" in the morning.
Folks who "don't get it" often never will. Preconceived notions of what is and isn't sexual are hard to get past, you know?