When did you stop offering? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-01-2005, 07:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
cutekid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: A mole hill.
Posts: 903
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello ladies,

I plan on child-led weaning, my DS is almost 9 months old so I know it want be anytime soon. However i was just curious when you stopped offering and let your DC's asked to nurse (verbally, or sign).

I have had two women who CLW tell me that what their DC's were taking three meals a day and two snacks, and were able to ask to nurse they quit offering (i.e. asking their DC's if they needed to nurse) and within a few months their DC's weaned. Both of their DC's were around 2. 18months - 2 years is my goal.
cutekid is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 04-01-2005, 03:27 PM
 
stafl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: standing in a doorway
Posts: 9,123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
With my oldest, I didn't have to offer. Up until I got pregnant again, she constantly wanted to nurse. I will still offer to nurse her if she's very upset, I can't figure out what's wrong, and if she hasn't nursed recently. When she goes too long without nursing, she turns into a tantrumming monster.

my little one, though, seems to forget to nurse if I don't offer. With a child like her, not offering to nurse would be a weaning technique. Not knowing your friends, I find it a bit odd that they stopped offering to nurse and their babies weaned in a matter of months. It has been my personal experience that child-led weaning takes years. Of course every baby is different, but my oldest has been gradually cutting back on how often she nurses ever since she started eating solids, and still hasn't totally weaned, and turns four in a few weeks.

If you want to wean your baby at age 2, there's nothing wrong with that, but it most likely won't be child-led weaning. Keep an open mind, there's no telling what you might eventually end up doing!
stafl is offline  
Old 04-01-2005, 11:27 PM
ETW
 
ETW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 184
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just a little disclaimer to let you know where I'm coming from: I usually only lurk here as my DS is just 12 months old and while I plan to nurse him for a long time to come I'm not sure if we will do CLW or if I will give him some nudges.

My experience is that DS has been signing "nurse" for several months and I find that I almost never offer anymore just because he asks to nurse when he wants to. There are times when he always nurses (like before bed or nap) where no one really asks or offers -- it is just assumed that we will nurse and we do -- but other than that I let him ask. His nursing frequency has not decreased at all (he is nursing around 10 times per 24 hours) -- if anything it's picked up now that he knows how to ask.
ETW is offline  
Old 04-02-2005, 09:50 PM
 
GoodWillHunter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Doing something...vague.
Posts: 11,450
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hmmmm... my 3.5 year old still asks to nurse and I still allow him to nurse (approximately three time a day or so... depends on my mood... ). I stopped offering it when he was old enough to ask or non verbally ask.
GoodWillHunter is offline  
Old 04-03-2005, 12:10 AM
 
blessedwithboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,559
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 19 Post(s)
i still offer to my 3yo ds all the time. :

he likes to ask to NIP at really bad times. like when i have a cart full of perishable groceries. never when its convienient. so i offer b4 we go in the store, or right when we walk in. mama knows best, i feel. sometmes i offer during the work-up to a tantrum, too.

Bring back the old MDC
blessedwithboys is offline  
Old 04-03-2005, 01:35 AM
 
witchbaby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: denvah
Posts: 2,458
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
k can ask both verbally and through signing milk, but i still ask her several times a day. she has a toddler's pickiness about solids, so breastmilk is still invaluable to her. i want to make sure she still gets plenty of nutrients and she can sometimes, in the heat of play, forget that she needs it.
witchbaby is offline  
Old 04-03-2005, 01:53 AM
 
doctorjen's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 3,082
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dd went through a phase where she almost never nursed except naptime and bedtime unless I offered. This was right around 12-14 mos or so. She also learned to walk during that time and was just too busy. I offered throughout the day, because I didn't want her to wean, and she wasn't drinking really anything but my milk. Now, at 22 mos, she asks all the time, so I don't offer very much any more. Now, I only tend to offer if I sense an impending meltdown, or she needs distracting from something else. Not offering hasn't affected her nursing frequency really at all - she's still nursing quite a lot. This isn't so much a technique I'm using though, just that it doesn't come up much since she is quite verbal and can let me know what she wants. And since she's nursing 6-8 times in 24 hours still, I'm not worried about her not nursing enough!
doctorjen is offline  
Old 04-03-2005, 04:53 AM
 
galadriel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
DD will be 2 this month; I am finding myself offering less and less, for the first time. Might have something to do with baby #2 being due this month, too, who knows! I think I expect her to want to nurse whenever the baby does, so I think I am trying to get a little slowdown/break first! Of course, even when I don;t offer, she still demands to nurse several times a day.
galadriel is offline  
Old 04-03-2005, 06:59 AM
 
MamaAllNatural's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Nearest chair with *ONE* nursling!
Posts: 6,882
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's something I don't really think about. I guess I do even offer sometimes with my four year old though. If it's getting late I'll tell her it's time for her night time Mai Mai. Other than that though she initiates most of the nursing (frequently!). With the baby (19 months) I still offer a lot. He's at that age where he gets tantrumy and fussy etc. He still so young that I'm reading his signals as opposed to him vocalizing his needs at least half of the time. He does ask a lot too though. He pats my breasts and/or says "Mai Mai." Sometimes he just pulls up my shirt and starts laying back to nurse. :LOL
MamaAllNatural is offline  
Old 04-03-2005, 07:21 PM
 
Girl Named Sandoz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: On the road to Mandalay...
Posts: 1,541
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS is 2.5. He has asked to nurse with signs from 8-9 months (although to me he has asked since birth in various ways).

I dont really think about this, sometimes I offer (intuitively), usually he asks. If I offer and he doesn't want to nurse he will say so, usually my offer coincides with him wanting to nurse though, mama's intuition.
Girl Named Sandoz is offline  
Old 04-03-2005, 09:23 PM
 
azyre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 570
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I offer still, at 2, when I think she needs it emotionally, or I need it - when I want her to stop doing something else she is doing I offer in bed often (pretty much insist sometimes LOL) when I want her to settle and she is jumping on the bed or us.
azyre is offline  
Old 04-06-2005, 12:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
cutekid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: A mole hill.
Posts: 903
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks ladies,

I am beginning to wonder if these ladies didn't do some mommy encouraging KWIM? Or their DC's got so tied up in being a toddler they ended up weaning? I am not really sure either way.
cutekid is offline  
Old 04-12-2005, 12:44 PM
 
Mallory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Wesley, AR
Posts: 2,567
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think nursing is a great mommy tool and offering to nurse a 2 or 3 year old when you can tell a meltdown is coming or to get a few minutes to make an important phone call or whatever isn't something I would want to give up!

That said, my ds will be 4 next month and except for at bed time, I don't think I have really offered in months.
Mallory is offline  
Old 04-12-2005, 05:00 PM
 
chfriend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: in a red state
Posts: 4,560
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Mine is 4.5. I offer when it seems like she might need it.
chfriend is offline  
Old 04-12-2005, 06:14 PM
 
callmemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: midwest
Posts: 1,670
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My child was a frequent nurser, so I didn't need to offer often. I did however read his signals. Now at the age of 5+ and stretching out days between nursings, I only offer if I think he's coming down with a cold or something. We have talked about nursing and he knows its ok for him to nurse and that all children stop nursing "someday". Even though he says he "might not stop", I think he will.
callmemama is offline  
Old 04-24-2005, 08:58 PM
 
VikingKvinna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Suffragette City
Posts: 4,482
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by callmemama
Even though he says he "might not stop", I think he will.
Oh, that's too sweet!

My DS, at 22 months, asks for milk before and after nap, upon waking in the morning, and at night before bed. But those are the times we always nurse anyway, so it's almost like he's asking just because it's time, not necessarily because he wants it and thinks he won't get it. I don't usually offer, and he doesn't usually ask, at other times. If he's fallen and bumped his lip, or is otherwise upset, it just happens -- I just kinda scoop him up before he can ask or respond to my offer, KWIM?

But I'm also learning that there are times when he asks to nurse as, say, an avoidance of going to bed. He's reluctant to go to sleep and knows that I'm a sucker for the "Milk?" in his little voice. So it's tough for me to know when to draw the line and tell him that he's had enough, and it's time for bed. We're doing that dance of demands and limits, and each of us learning the steps along the way.

~Nick
VikingKvinna is offline  
Old 04-24-2005, 10:30 PM
 
velochic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Dreaming of the Bavarian Alps
Posts: 8,198
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wouldn't worry too much about offering when your dc gets older. Really, the relationship will probably be so natural that it's almost an unspoken request/offer when they get older. That's one of the nice things of CLW - no effort on anyone's part. :LOL
velochic is offline  
Old 04-29-2005, 01:23 PM
Banned
 
katallen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 843
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD is two and a half and if she has mostly just asked because she is verbal but if she gets upset and seems to need a pick me up I offer.
katallen is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off