When did you stop offering? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 04-01-2005, 06:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello ladies,

I plan on child-led weaning, my DS is almost 9 months old so I know it want be anytime soon. However i was just curious when you stopped offering and let your DC's asked to nurse (verbally, or sign).

I have had two women who CLW tell me that what their DC's were taking three meals a day and two snacks, and were able to ask to nurse they quit offering (i.e. asking their DC's if they needed to nurse) and within a few months their DC's weaned. Both of their DC's were around 2. 18months - 2 years is my goal.
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#2 of 18 Old 04-01-2005, 02:27 PM
 
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With my oldest, I didn't have to offer. Up until I got pregnant again, she constantly wanted to nurse. I will still offer to nurse her if she's very upset, I can't figure out what's wrong, and if she hasn't nursed recently. When she goes too long without nursing, she turns into a tantrumming monster.

my little one, though, seems to forget to nurse if I don't offer. With a child like her, not offering to nurse would be a weaning technique. Not knowing your friends, I find it a bit odd that they stopped offering to nurse and their babies weaned in a matter of months. It has been my personal experience that child-led weaning takes years. Of course every baby is different, but my oldest has been gradually cutting back on how often she nurses ever since she started eating solids, and still hasn't totally weaned, and turns four in a few weeks.

If you want to wean your baby at age 2, there's nothing wrong with that, but it most likely won't be child-led weaning. Keep an open mind, there's no telling what you might eventually end up doing!
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#3 of 18 Old 04-01-2005, 10:27 PM
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Just a little disclaimer to let you know where I'm coming from: I usually only lurk here as my DS is just 12 months old and while I plan to nurse him for a long time to come I'm not sure if we will do CLW or if I will give him some nudges.

My experience is that DS has been signing "nurse" for several months and I find that I almost never offer anymore just because he asks to nurse when he wants to. There are times when he always nurses (like before bed or nap) where no one really asks or offers -- it is just assumed that we will nurse and we do -- but other than that I let him ask. His nursing frequency has not decreased at all (he is nursing around 10 times per 24 hours) -- if anything it's picked up now that he knows how to ask.
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#4 of 18 Old 04-02-2005, 08:50 PM
 
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Hmmmm... my 3.5 year old still asks to nurse and I still allow him to nurse (approximately three time a day or so... depends on my mood... ). I stopped offering it when he was old enough to ask or non verbally ask.
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#5 of 18 Old 04-02-2005, 11:10 PM
 
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i still offer to my 3yo ds all the time. :

he likes to ask to NIP at really bad times. like when i have a cart full of perishable groceries. never when its convienient. so i offer b4 we go in the store, or right when we walk in. mama knows best, i feel. sometmes i offer during the work-up to a tantrum, too.

Bring back the old MDC
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#6 of 18 Old 04-03-2005, 12:35 AM
 
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k can ask both verbally and through signing milk, but i still ask her several times a day. she has a toddler's pickiness about solids, so breastmilk is still invaluable to her. i want to make sure she still gets plenty of nutrients and she can sometimes, in the heat of play, forget that she needs it.
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#7 of 18 Old 04-03-2005, 12:53 AM
 
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My dd went through a phase where she almost never nursed except naptime and bedtime unless I offered. This was right around 12-14 mos or so. She also learned to walk during that time and was just too busy. I offered throughout the day, because I didn't want her to wean, and she wasn't drinking really anything but my milk. Now, at 22 mos, she asks all the time, so I don't offer very much any more. Now, I only tend to offer if I sense an impending meltdown, or she needs distracting from something else. Not offering hasn't affected her nursing frequency really at all - she's still nursing quite a lot. This isn't so much a technique I'm using though, just that it doesn't come up much since she is quite verbal and can let me know what she wants. And since she's nursing 6-8 times in 24 hours still, I'm not worried about her not nursing enough!
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#8 of 18 Old 04-03-2005, 03:53 AM
 
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DD will be 2 this month; I am finding myself offering less and less, for the first time. Might have something to do with baby #2 being due this month, too, who knows! I think I expect her to want to nurse whenever the baby does, so I think I am trying to get a little slowdown/break first! Of course, even when I don;t offer, she still demands to nurse several times a day.
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#9 of 18 Old 04-03-2005, 05:59 AM
 
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It's something I don't really think about. I guess I do even offer sometimes with my four year old though. If it's getting late I'll tell her it's time for her night time Mai Mai. Other than that though she initiates most of the nursing (frequently!). With the baby (19 months) I still offer a lot. He's at that age where he gets tantrumy and fussy etc. He still so young that I'm reading his signals as opposed to him vocalizing his needs at least half of the time. He does ask a lot too though. He pats my breasts and/or says "Mai Mai." Sometimes he just pulls up my shirt and starts laying back to nurse. :LOL
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#10 of 18 Old 04-03-2005, 06:21 PM
 
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DS is 2.5. He has asked to nurse with signs from 8-9 months (although to me he has asked since birth in various ways).

I dont really think about this, sometimes I offer (intuitively), usually he asks. If I offer and he doesn't want to nurse he will say so, usually my offer coincides with him wanting to nurse though, mama's intuition.
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#11 of 18 Old 04-03-2005, 08:23 PM
 
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I offer still, at 2, when I think she needs it emotionally, or I need it - when I want her to stop doing something else she is doing I offer in bed often (pretty much insist sometimes LOL) when I want her to settle and she is jumping on the bed or us.
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#12 of 18 Old 04-06-2005, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks ladies,

I am beginning to wonder if these ladies didn't do some mommy encouraging KWIM? Or their DC's got so tied up in being a toddler they ended up weaning? I am not really sure either way.
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#13 of 18 Old 04-12-2005, 11:44 AM
 
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I think nursing is a great mommy tool and offering to nurse a 2 or 3 year old when you can tell a meltdown is coming or to get a few minutes to make an important phone call or whatever isn't something I would want to give up!

That said, my ds will be 4 next month and except for at bed time, I don't think I have really offered in months.
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#14 of 18 Old 04-12-2005, 04:00 PM
 
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Mine is 4.5. I offer when it seems like she might need it.
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#15 of 18 Old 04-12-2005, 05:14 PM
 
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My child was a frequent nurser, so I didn't need to offer often. I did however read his signals. Now at the age of 5+ and stretching out days between nursings, I only offer if I think he's coming down with a cold or something. We have talked about nursing and he knows its ok for him to nurse and that all children stop nursing "someday". Even though he says he "might not stop", I think he will.
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#16 of 18 Old 04-24-2005, 07:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by callmemama
Even though he says he "might not stop", I think he will.
Oh, that's too sweet!

My DS, at 22 months, asks for milk before and after nap, upon waking in the morning, and at night before bed. But those are the times we always nurse anyway, so it's almost like he's asking just because it's time, not necessarily because he wants it and thinks he won't get it. I don't usually offer, and he doesn't usually ask, at other times. If he's fallen and bumped his lip, or is otherwise upset, it just happens -- I just kinda scoop him up before he can ask or respond to my offer, KWIM?

But I'm also learning that there are times when he asks to nurse as, say, an avoidance of going to bed. He's reluctant to go to sleep and knows that I'm a sucker for the "Milk?" in his little voice. So it's tough for me to know when to draw the line and tell him that he's had enough, and it's time for bed. We're doing that dance of demands and limits, and each of us learning the steps along the way.

~Nick
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#17 of 18 Old 04-24-2005, 09:30 PM
 
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I wouldn't worry too much about offering when your dc gets older. Really, the relationship will probably be so natural that it's almost an unspoken request/offer when they get older. That's one of the nice things of CLW - no effort on anyone's part. :LOL
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#18 of 18 Old 04-29-2005, 12:23 PM
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DD is two and a half and if she has mostly just asked because she is verbal but if she gets upset and seems to need a pick me up I offer.
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