Pregnant & Nursing / Tandem Nursing CLW'ers - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-03-2005, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
mom2threenurslings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: In the midst of chaos in CT
Posts: 2,715
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi fellow Pregnant and Nursing and/or Tandem Nursing CLW'ers! Lately I've been communicating with a lot of pregnant and nursing or tandem nursing mamas who are actively weaning that I thought it would be nice to "talk" with some CLWing mamas who are pregnant nursing or tandem (or triandem!) nursing. So...

How is pregnant nursing / tandem nursing going for you?

What do you love about pregnant nursing / tandem nursing?

Are you experiencing any difficulties?

Do you have any amusing or touching stories to share?

Mama to A (12), Z (11), H (9), C (5), A (3) and 4 angels. 

mom2threenurslings is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 04-03-2005, 09:19 PM
 
TheJoyfulMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Southwest Florida
Posts: 366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Amanda!

I'm in my second time of tandem nursing. Its actually a lot easier this time around Its definitely helped my middle one get used to not being the baby. I actually expected to be tridem nursing still but that ended very quickly.

Its nice to know of other moms doing it too, though. I don't know anyone irl that has done the tandem thing... let alone two times!

Joyfully- Laura
radically unschooling 3 awesome kids
TheJoyfulMom is offline  
Old 04-03-2005, 09:41 PM
 
jessikate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Capitol City
Posts: 1,729
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'll be tandem nursing in a few days (hopefully). Nursing my DD through my pregnancy has been difficult at times, but not too terribly bad. She was 16 months when I got pregnant and still mostly breastfed, so she was in for a shock when my supply took a dive at 16 weeks. Now she mainly nurses to calm down at naptime and bedtime, and once or twice during the night. Sometimes she'll nurse first thing in the morning, but not every day. I can't remember the last time she asked to nurse during the day, but it's been a while. I have not pushed her to get to this point, and frankly, if she hadn't done it herself I probably would've. I've been so tired and cranky during this pregnancy that I haven't wanted her near me sometimes. She's not too cuddly, though, and doesn't seem to have a high need for physical contact (except while she's asleep), so she's doing just fine this way.

Having said that, I fully expect her to go back to nursing very often once the baby's born and she sees him nursing. I'm fine with that, though I'd rather she not nurse at the same time as he... I have very large breasts and even at this point I need to hold a breast for DD while she nurses. I don't have enough hands to make this work, from what I remember of nursing her as a newborn.

I am glad that she is still nursing, as I believe it will help ease the transition from being an only child to being the big sister. It'll probably be easier on me too - I won't have to work so hard to figure out meals for her for a bit, I'm sure. :LOL
jessikate is offline  
Old 04-03-2005, 09:43 PM
 
Mama2ABCD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: following cubs up a mountain
Posts: 1,885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Moms (tandeming and preg&tandeming) Happy 2nd tri, Amanda!

I've been triandeming for a year now. My oldest will be 5 in 2 weeks. And it doesn't look like i'll be weaning anyone soon.

It does get difficult at times. I got real sick a few weeks ago. Actually it was great to nurse because i my oldest and my baby were very sick. Nursing is the best for sick kids! Both had unlimited nursing, but i wanted to make sure my healthy one had unlimited nursing so that he would not get sick. He didn't get sick and my sickies got over theirs quickly. But, i wore myself out and got sick. And it took me longer to get over it. It's hard keeping up with nursing demands when your feverish and hallucinating! When i'm real sick i can usually talk the boys into nursing me (rubbing my back) instead of being nursed themselves. That doesn't always work though.

My dd is nursing a lot now as she's cutting molars. My oldest is very amazed to see me walking around the house while carrrying baby sis and nursing her. He wants to know if he was nursed that way. I always remind my boys that they nursed as frequent if not more than their sister when they were her age. They like to hear that.

I love tandem nursing. I think my children are so well adjusted because of it. That is something so special that they share with each other. At the rate i'm going my youngest will definitely have memories of nursing with her brothers! Boy does she light up when one of her brothers nurse the other breast when she nurses.

Happy nursing!
Mama2ABCD is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 12:25 AM
 
huntersmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 851
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been tandem nursing for 22.5 mths now and we are NO WHERE near stopping...I love that I can be there for both my kids in this way, and my dd is a very picky eater so I feel I am givign her exactly what she needs thru nursing nutritionally as well.

I do have a funny story..my son is abit of a boob hog...lol basically he wants whatever side his older sister is havign...:LOL
so a few weeks ago, he is trying to push her off the right side so he can have it, and she keeps saying no...so finally after about a minute of her not egtting of, he gets really close to her and pukcers up for a kiss, and makign a mmmmsound.....so Jaden thinks "oh how sweet he wants to kiss me" and lets go so she can kiss him...well he ducks under her and swoops in a steals her boob...the whoel time giggling....:LOL

it was very funny and the tow of them were just in fits of laughter...so while sometimes it si tough havign them both doing acrobatics while nursing...it is full of laughter and love and fun, and they have a wonderful realtionship and I think it is because they share so much togeather.
huntersmommy is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 11:59 AM
 
Sustainer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: upstate NY
Posts: 10,340
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for this thread! I am tandem breastfeeding my 4 year old and my 14 month old. I finally faced the fact that Alexander is a toddler now rather than an infant so I updated the smilie in my sig.

Can I plug my web ring? http://W.webring.com/hub?ring=tandembreastfeed

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

Sustainer is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 12:40 PM
 
TwinMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: hiding in the bathroom
Posts: 1,801
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am tandem nursing my 3.5-year old and 2-month old. I don't think I'm as enamored of it as the rest of you sound, though. : I really don't enjoy it at all, but my 3-year old isn't ready to wean so I'm continuing. Fortunately he is nursing waaaaay less than when I first had the baby, so it's not too bad. I am secretly hoping that he weans soon, but it doesn't look like it will happen in the very near future.

Homeschooling mom to four kids, ages 18, 18, 10, and 6. 

TwinMom is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 03:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
mom2threenurslings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: In the midst of chaos in CT
Posts: 2,715
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's GREAT hearing from all of you!

to TwinMom...it can be very difficult ... good for you for hanging in there!

Susatiner...plug away!

huntersmommy...CUTE story!!! What a smart and creative child! :LOL

kirstie...Thanks for the congrats! I triandem nursed my first three for over 18 months. I think it's great that three sibs can share in the nursing relationship! How wonderful for your older nursling to be asking questions about his nursing relationship with you in the past!

jessikate...Looking forward to the birth announcement! Congrats! Be warned about "big head syndrome" - your older nursling is going to all of a sudden look absolutely HUGE to you and it may seem a little strange nursing a child with such a huge head in the beginning! :LOL I agree that tandeming is a great way to transition to big-siblinghood!

kati: I think it's wonderful that you're tandeming a second time...and agree that it's easier the second time around! I'm fortunate to know 5 or 6 (maybe more, I haven't counted!) mamas who are tandem nursing or have in the past. I've met two moms IRL who triandem nursed. See below for my tandem/triandem/tandem/triandem nursing story!

I just realized I didn't post anything about myself, so here goes! I nursed Alex through Zachary's pregnancy and then tandem nursed them. They then tandem nursed through Haley's pregnancy and triandem nursed for over 18 months. My oldest self-weaned on his fifth birthday. I'm now tandem nursing Zachary and Haley and am 16.5 weeks pregnant. Both my nurslings plan to continue nursing until and after baby is born, so I'll most likely be triandem nursing for a second time. When baby is born, my kids will be almost 7, 5 and 3.

I have to go have some homemade pizza now...yummy! I'll post more later!

Mama to A (12), Z (11), H (9), C (5), A (3) and 4 angels. 

mom2threenurslings is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 03:16 PM
 
huntersmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 851
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2threenurslings
jessikate...Looking forward to the birth announcement! Congrats! Be warned about "big head syndrome" - your older nursling is going to all of a sudden look absolutely HUGE to you and it may seem a little strange nursing a child with such a huge head in the beginning! :LOL I agree that tandeming is a great way to transition to big-siblinghood!

!

OMG that is so true...My dd still looked so little to me before HUnter was born, and then the first time she nursed after his birth she suddenly seemed 3 times the size she had just hours before....and WOW she had a HUGE head:LOL
huntersmommy is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 03:38 PM
 
Sustainer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: upstate NY
Posts: 10,340
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Funny... I don't remember thinking Elisabeth's head looked big

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

Sustainer is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 04:20 PM
 
Mama2ABCD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: following cubs up a mountain
Posts: 1,885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
thanks Amanda for the "big head syndrome" reminder. :LOL

i remember thinking "wow, and his head grow 3 sizes that day" (thinking of the "grinch who stole christmas" here). then you forget and it happens again. :LOL
Mama2ABCD is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 05:48 PM
 
emomama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: northern illinois
Posts: 208
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i was so glad to find this thread! i am nursing 19 mo-old twins who want "boo" probably 4-5 times a day. i love tandem nursing and am looking forward to nursing three although i'm sure it will be a new experience altogether!

i am SO nervous about my supply dropping... to the mamas this has happened to, what did you do? did you try to explain? did you substitute a cup of water or something before bed and let them comfort nurse? i think not having mama milk would devastate my little ones and i've been planning to CLW so i really want to do whatever i can to support them nursing for as long as they need...

the other day just jonah was nursing and i wasn't letting down at all and he pulled off and pointed to my boob and said, "mama? boo? broken!" so i'm not sure who it would be harder on if i lose my milk for a while.. them or me!
emomama is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 06:01 PM
 
maria423's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Illinois
Posts: 503
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi! I was also struck with how large my dd looked after bringing my ds home! :LOL

I'm currently tandeming my 2-year-old and my 5-month-old. I had absolutely no problems breastfeeding while I was pregnant, and I feel really lucky that way. I really like that I'm still nursing both kids. Occasionally I feel "nursed out," and frustrated at my dd for wanting to nurse so often. Some days (okay, many days!), my dd wants to nurse MORE than the little guy!

All in all, though, I'm really happy that I'm tandem nursing. There is absolutely no other way that I'd do things.
maria423 is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 06:08 PM
 
Sustainer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: upstate NY
Posts: 10,340
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My milk never went dry when I was pregnant with Alexander. I drank lots of water and ate whenever I got hungry and I drank an herbal tea every day called Tea For Two, which safely promotes lactation during pregnancy.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

Sustainer is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 06:24 PM
 
Mama2ABCD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: following cubs up a mountain
Posts: 1,885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
emomama,
my 3rd preg i nursed 2 thru. that was definitley my roughest pregnancy (nursed thru 2nd preg easily). i did run out of milk. once i got past the 1st tri...the tired, vomiting trimester, i felt much better. nursing did not seem to hurt so much as i was able to eat and stay hydrated.
but, i also learned more coping techniques. i'd nurse more sitting up, or i'd drink a lot of water before bed and when i awoke at night because water in the morning before noon in all my pregnancy's (the entire time) made me vomit. morning nursing's seem to hurt because i couldn't drink water in the morning, but if i drank before bed, etc then the morning nursing's did not hurt.
i also talked to my boys and explained what was going on. they hung in there. they let me know when my colostrum came in.
i think in the 3rd preg not getting the rest like i could in the other pregnancy's made it a little harder on my body. at the time i was chasing after a 2 yo and a 3 yo. though, i learned just how independent they really were!
hopefully your twins are still napping everyday! you might want to catch a nap with them if they are. nursing 3 is definitely a new experience. it hones our juggling skills
Mama2ABCD is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 06:46 PM
 
kavamamakava's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 4,237
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
[QUOTE=mom2threenurslings]

How is pregnant nursing / tandem nursing going for you?[/QUOTE/
Pregnant nursing wasn't fun. But it was preferable to NOT nursing. I knew my nurslings still needed to nurse and I enjoyed having the ability to soothe them that way. I know my breastmilk is the healthiest thing for them and I want to give it to them as long as they needed it. I just get so irritated and have really annoying nipple sensitivities. But if I can calm down and the nursling is relaxed, all is well. It's that fidgety stuff that really got to me. Lucky for me, we worked out a nursing relationship that only involved short nursing sessions.

Tandem nursing is going well. It's easier this time than it was the first time because the age gap is greater. I also don't nurse them at the same time because I prefer not to. It was sweet seeing them interact while nursing and hold hands and all that, but the sensations were too much and I found myself on the verge of flipping out if there was anything else going on (like a mosquito buzzing, noise that kept them from nursing to sleep, the phone ringing, etc.).
It's also easier than tandem nursing while pregnant.

My son sometimes asks to nurse and it's really cute how excited he gets when I let him do it. I let him do it any time he asks. But he has forgotten how to latch. I try to teach him but I don't think he really wants to. I squirt some milk into his mouth and he goes on his merry way.

Nadia quietly joins me in bed in the morning for a nurse and then we all sleep a few more hours. She has stopped using baby terms for nursing. She and Skanda used to call it nanas. Now she comes up to me and announces "Mommy, I wanna nurse sometimes" and helps me undo my bra. After about 5 minutes, I start to feel twitchy like a momma cat and I ask her to finish up. I count out loud and she counts with me and stops at "10 ALL DONE". I let her nurse almost every time she asks but sometimes I ask her to wait a bit because I'm nursing the baby or in the middle of something. She proudly tells me that she's a patient little girl and can wait her turn. She also likes to hold the breast for the baby to get a good latch.

Quote:
What do you love about pregnant nursing / tandem nursing?
I love that my nurslings all feel included. I remember tandem nursing with my sister and I'm glad I can do that for my children. With my first two, I loved being able to nurse them to sleep at the same time and fall asleep myself so we could all nap together. I love how the older ones think they are teaching the younger ones how to nurse

It's fun for the nursling to poke at the baby in the belly and have them play. I suspect that nursing while pregnant kept my morning sickness from getting as bad as it was with my first. I suspect that nursing while pregnant helped my labors go smoother and be shorter. Although I also suspect that nursing while pregnant caused me to go past dates even more than I might have gone if I hadn't been nursing. (Not that it's a bad thing).

Quote:
Are you experiencing any difficulties?
I just get really irritated sometimes with all the demands on my physical space and would like to hold a kid without having my breasts pawed. But I don't think that would change much if I weren't nursing, necessarily. I have learned how to cope by distracting myself. I read on the computer or watch TV to distract me. I've noticed it's generally the older one that causes me to feel irritated. Sometimes their latch is lazy and I can feel their teeth. I try to not show my irritation in my tone of voice and that can be a challenge for me. I do relatch them.
I've also developed a way of counting that distracts me and makes me feel like there's an end in sight and I know I won't be irritated forever.

Quote:
Do you have any amusing or touching stories to share?
Not specifically. But it sure was adorable when Nadia was born and Skanda climbed in bed after we got settled and stuck a boob in her mouth and then got himself the other one. He was so excited to share with her
I also love how Nadia jumps up when the baby cries and announces "Mei Mei wants to nurse, Mommy. Go get her and nurse her!"
kavamamakava is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 07:04 PM
 
Lilg127's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Indianapolis
Posts: 149
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Great thread!!

I don't post here often but saw this one and had to jump in.

I'm 36 weeks pregnant and nursing my 19 and half month old. I believe CLweaning so weaning him never even crossed my mind. Anyways Nick is no where ready to wean... heck he has barely slowed down even though I'm out of milk and have been for months


How is pregnant nursing / tandem nursing going for you?

Tiring, but overall pretty good.

What do you love about pregnant nursing / tandem nursing?

I really enjoy nursing him and always have. It just gives us a chance to reconnect.


Are you experiencing any difficulties?

Not so much. He is still waking a lot and I'm exhausted so that makes it tough.

Do you have any amusing or touching stories to share?
Two midwife appts ago, I laid on the floor for them listen to belly baby's heart beat, well my son ran up, pulled up my shirt and started nursing. It was an amazing moment when the heartbeat came through the doppler, I just felt so connected to both babies it was pretty incredible.
Lilg127 is offline  
Old 04-04-2005, 07:21 PM
 
ebethmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: State of Grace
Posts: 3,684
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My ds is 3 1/2 now, and dd is 9 months. Ds only nurses about once a week now, usually if he's upset or tired. "Mommy, you need to nurse me. You need to cheer me up!"

When dd was a newborn, ds nursed almost as much as she did. My supply came in full force! I had low supply issues with ds, so this was a welcomed benefit.

I was glad that ds nursed through that transition. I think it made it easier. For our bedtime routine, I would nurse ds and lie down with him. If dd was already asleep, everything was easy. Usually, dh would have to take dd downstairs. She would have to wait about 20 minutes for her nursies.

I'm very glad that I nursed ds through my pregnancy, even though dry nursing just hurts! My milk disappeared at about 17 weeks.

There were times when I just didn't feel like nursing them both at the same time. Then ds would get upset, "No Mom! You need to nurse BOTH kids!!" Now ds tells me, "No Mom! She doesn't want to nurse! I want to play with her!"
ebethmom is offline  
Old 04-05-2005, 10:41 AM
 
Mama2ABCD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: following cubs up a mountain
Posts: 1,885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
kavamamakava, that is so cool that you tandem nursed and remember it. What was it like?

That is probably one of my main goals of tandeming. I want to give every chance for my children to bond as close as possible with their sibling. I would think that's every parents goal, it just seems like tandem is a leg up in that direction. Or am i romantizing this bond?
My boys are very competetive. To the point that i can't see one weaning without the other. But, they are very close and though they might throw each other to the ground one minute, they'll hug the next. They fiercely protect one another. I hope that nursing is a way to keep their relationship healthy. I think it teaches me how to handle that rivalry.
Anyone else understand what i'm talking about? Agree or have a different experience?
Mama2ABCD is offline  
Old 04-05-2005, 09:42 PM
 
kavamamakava's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 4,237
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So is that what it's like to have two boys? :LOL
I remember nursing because my sister was so against me doing it. haha. My mother would let me help myself to a little while she was nursing my sister. I'm 2 1/2 yrs older. I remember one time when I was close to 4 and I nursed and then I was standing in the doorway talking and watching my mom nurse my sister. My sister got annoyed and got up and closed the door. I just stood there and let her close the door on me. And it hit my toe nails funny and they ended up falling off.
kavamamakava is offline  
Old 04-06-2005, 03:06 AM
 
june'smom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: WI
Posts: 1,111
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, I love to hear other stories about tandem nursing that are positive, because right now dd is driving me crazy!! She wants to nurse all the time and she loves to do acrobatic manuvers while I am 32 weeks pg. But my favorite nursing issue right now is the pinching. Oh. My. Goodness. I cannot stand the feeling of her getting a little bit of my booby skin (which there is a lot of because of stretch marks etc...) and rolling it around between her fingers. I am about to go through the roof every time we nurse. It doesn't really hurt, but it feels awful. SHe has always played with my boobs somehow, but this is the worst. Right now, we take nursing breaks if she doesn't stop, but then she freaks out and flails and screams at me to nurse. If anyone has any ideas on how to stop her, I would love them. I really want to nurse two, but not like this. It has caused so much stress in our relationship. I don't think she "gets" why I don't like it. It is almost like she just can't stop herself.
Hopefully things will get better when the REAL milk gets here. She says there is plenty of milk and that it still tastes good, so I dont' know why she is doing it. By the way, she is 20 mos.

Thanks for listening to me vent
Louise
june'smom is offline  
Old 04-06-2005, 04:06 AM
 
galadriel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Louise, that sounds really frustrating! I hope it gets better. Have you tried an interesting nursing necklace?

Hey, I did it! I nursed all the way through this pregnancy! (Well, I was 39 weeks complete yesterday; I think we're gonna make it ) It actually was not a big deal, although I definitely got seriously irritated a few times in the first and second trimester. I think I was only almost dry for about a week, as I switched over from milk to colostrum pretty early on. She hasn't slowed down a whole lot, and she obviously still needs it, so I'm really glad. I try really hard not to refuse her when she asks (and I actually still offer), but sometimes I pop her off when it is really annoying.

I am looking forward to exploring the ups and downs of tandem nursing land. Any day now......
galadriel is offline  
Old 04-06-2005, 10:55 AM
 
Mama2ABCD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: following cubs up a mountain
Posts: 1,885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
kavamamakava...i don't know what to say. i was expecting warm fuzzy memories, but got a good laugh instead. your sister must have been a pistol. those are great memories to share with your nurslings though.

i have a journal for my dd (about her birth) which i've added many other things especially tandem stories. incase she remembers only the teasing from her brothers.

mom's who are due soon, hang in there! and Ubertulip...just a few more days!
Mama2ABCD is offline  
Old 04-06-2005, 06:25 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 43,652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kirstie
That is probably one of my main goals of tandeming. I want to give every chance for my children to bond as close as possible with their sibling. I would think that's every parents goal, it just seems like tandem is a leg up in that direction. Or am i romantizing this bond?
Yup, I definitely think tandem nursing helped my girls bond better. It certainly helped me continue to meet Leah's needs. I never felt like Leah was being "cheated" out of babyhood- I simply had two babies!! I remember comparing notes with a friend who had twins within 2 weeks of Hannah's birth, and we both came to the conclusion that she had it easier!! In all fairness, she had a stable marriage and 10 years of parenting experience (her twins were babies # 3 and 4 for her) so I'm sure those were factors as well.

I never really went through the "OMG my toddler is HUGE all of a sudden" phase that many parents of close-in-age siblings went through. For me it was more like "Leah is my baby, and I also have this infant in my care." I had PPD and it took me a while to bond with Hannah. For most of her early months, I was thinking solely of Leah and modeling AP for her. I didn't pick up Hannah the moment she cried because I cared about Hannah- I picked up Hannah the moment she cried because I wanted to show Leah that we pick up babies the moment they cry. Does that make sense?

Fortunately for Hannah, I "fell in love with her" when she was about 4mo. I "fell in love" with my other two before birth. To this day, she's the least secure of the 3. I figure I'm getting lots of moments to make up for the ones we missed in infancy- at age (almost)9 she's still a snugglebug

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
Ruthla is online now  
Old 04-06-2005, 06:40 PM
 
kavamamakava's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 4,237
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Melissa: I just got used to it. Nadia started the pinching thing around 20 months too. I would hold her hand and remind her that pinching hurts mommy and offer her my shirt to pinch or put her hand on her belly so she could pinch herself. haha. And then she started digging my belly button. I even started wearing maternity pants with a panel so it was covered even though I hate those pants.
Sad to report, she'll be 3 in July and she's still attempting it. Almost every time she nurses, I have to be vigilant and rearrange her hands or hold her hand or offer her something else to pinch. She likes pinching my bra instead sometimes. When she's cranky or really tired, she can't seem to stop digging my belly button or pinching me and that does end the nursing session. I end up with a crying, angry toddler but I don't see any other option. I know she's mostly crying because she's tired though. So I scoop her up and rock her until she falls asleep.
kavamamakava is offline  
Old 04-06-2005, 07:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
mom2threenurslings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: In the midst of chaos in CT
Posts: 2,715
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
kirstie...All three of my children (former triandem nurslings...now a "weaner" and tandem nurslings) have a VERY close bond. They quite obviously love each other, support and protect each other, and love to cuddle with each other. Yes, they do have their fights...and my 6 year old does think that one little sister is quite enough...but at the heart of it they have this amazing bond. I think triandem nursing had a LOT to do with it....as well as the older children being at their younger siblings' births. It will be interesting to see what happens when our "moonbaby" is born in September!

Pinching...My Haley is a pincher (she's drawn blood!). I've found that trying to stop the pinching doesn't work, but replacing the THING she is allowed to pinch is the key. She's allowed to pinch my shirt, the cord of our nursing necklace (which she loves rolling between her fingers), a stuffed animal, etc., just not skin!

Mama to A (12), Z (11), H (9), C (5), A (3) and 4 angels. 

mom2threenurslings is offline  
Old 04-08-2005, 08:34 PM
 
Mama2ABCD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: following cubs up a mountain
Posts: 1,885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
goodness, the other day my 2 and 3 were nursing. my 2nd was teasing the 3rd (my baby) so bad. he would hold out the nipple towards her and wait as she crawled to him with an open mouth eager for the treat! and he would wait until she was about to latch and then take it away and laugh so hard. he did this one more time until baby decided that was enough for her. meanwhile she had grabbed my breast and aimed it back to me offering me the nipple (or squirt me). she is such a giver.
anyways....all i could thing as i watched my breasts being twisted and almost tied in knots (yes, they are long enough to have that done) is that i am so glad i'm not pregnant!!!!.....that would hurt soooo bad.
hang in there pregnant mama's!!!
Amanda, you always have such great advice for mom's going throught this rough period (nursing, pregnant, and surviving nursing and pregant). You moms that are pregnant have a great one to ask for advice on getting through this time (asking Amanda that is).
Happy nursing!
Tandem mom's are moms' of endurance!
Mama2ABCD is offline  
Old 04-08-2005, 11:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
mom2threenurslings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: In the midst of chaos in CT
Posts: 2,715
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
kirstie...what a mischevious nursling and a sweet nursling you have!!! :LOL And thanks...you sure do know how to make a pregnant woman cry!

Mama to A (12), Z (11), H (9), C (5), A (3) and 4 angels. 

mom2threenurslings is offline  
Old 04-11-2005, 11:47 AM
 
mirpnmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: NH
Posts: 637
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i LOVE this thread.....dh and i will be ttc starting in about 6 weeks and i am very nervous (and excited). my 2 1/2 year old still nurses a TON and we are all committed to CLW.....i think he will dry nurse if the milk goes away, and he is bright and easy to talk to about things so i think we can talk about it as well.....but reading this thread helps so much seeing all the other moms who have btdt....thanks!!!!! and i hope to be joining your ranks soon!

Karinlady.gif - breastfeeding fbbf.gif, cloth diapering: cd.gif, cosleeping ;familybed2.gif, homeschooling homeschool.gif, babywearing femalesling.GIF!, AP Mama to Martin, Ivy Rose, Patrick and Neva , wife to Kevinjammin.gif

mirpnmama is offline  
Old 04-12-2005, 03:45 AM
 
canuckgal's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 425
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
...and so glad I spied this thread! I only know (in real life) one tandeming mama and she had a horrible experience and actually encouraged me NOT to tandem! Anyway, I am tandem nursing a dd who turns 5 in end of May and a ds who turns 2 in mid June. Actually, I am beginning to think my tandem days are over...I cannot remember the last time dd nursed (maybe 3 times in the last month and it was just a quick "drive-by" suckle and a giggle) and I am not quite ready to say she has weaned, as just when I think she has she nurses again.

Overall tandeming is going WAAAAaaaay better than it did at the beginning. To make a long story short ds was "air evacuated" with me to another province (I live in Northern Canada, no peds surgeons here) as a week old and had a inguinal hernia repair (it was strangulating and he was vomiting, dehydrated) and the next day had a upper bowel obstruction which they found post op repaired as well. DD woke up one morning (she had only just turned 3) and I was gone for 8 days, just like that. We came back and I tried to settle into life with 2 kids. Ds was greatly weakend by surgery, and just couldn't nurse well, so I used the supplementary nursing system around my neck and dd even tandemed with us, just flipping the tube off the nipple when she nursed. I suffered from pp depression (actually more like incredible anxiety/obsessive thoughts, not weepiness or anything) and was on meds for 6 months, which really helped. I was so glad that with my mind stressed and clouded with anxiety so much so that I sometimes couldn't even feed or dress us that I could just sit and nurse and that prolactin would work!
I was determined to stick with tandeming but it was so hard, adjusting to 2 kids, feeling at times like I hated my dd for being so "needy" of me, frustrated by how often she was nursing, dealing with that antsy feeling that happend when they nursed together. I just couldn't believe the pendulum my emotions were on especially the first 6 months! I talked LOTS to my La leche league leaders from a group I used to attend and that helped, and it took alot of thought and introspection and crying and thinking when at times I wanted to wean her RIGHT now when she nursed more than her brother.

BuuUUUuut...when I see things like them hold hands when they nurse, or her tell him what side to take, and how they generally get along, I know it has been worth it. I loved how my "boobie juice" put both of them to sleep so quickly and conveniently when dh worked nights and I was alone at bedtime. Tandeming really changed my relationship with dd, I learned to set some limits (ABC's and count to 10...) for my own sanity and I learned that I just needed to take care of myself and follow her own pace...and I can see how she has matured emotionally this last year. And I remember standing in Walmart buying formula to supplement ds and crying that I couldn't do it (breastfeed) when my dd never had a drop in her life, and thought of all the moms I have helped breastfeed ( I am an OBS RN) and I KNEW I couldn't give up...I had to give ds that beautiful relationship/mothering that dd had. I see him revel and delight in his "nur nurs" and I know it has been worth it

So to all you mama's out there who are struggling...it really does get better (although you won't think so when you are in the thick of things, but boy you will see the results when you one day pass through to the other side of your struggle) KEEP ON KEEPING ON!

Tina

Tina, RN, wife-y to J, mom to dd (10) and ds (7)
"Beware the lollipop of mediocracy...one lick and you suck forever!"
canuckgal is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off