Really irked and confused by advice about weaning, needing advice. - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-16-2005, 11:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My Mom nursed me until age 10 months when I self-weaned (although I now wonder if it was a nursing strike and my Mom did not know it, hmmm..). So my Mom knows I am letting my ds self-wean, and he is now 21 months old and shows no sign of wanting to wean, which is fine with me. But my Mom always says, "Don't let him nurse standing up, you have to make him lie in your lap if he wants to nurse. That way he will wean because he does not want to be in your lap."

Is this true? Should I not let him nurse unless he is cradled in my arms in my lap? I am not about to force him to wean, I believe he will wean when ready, but should I encourage him by not letting him nurse standing up? I am so conflicted on this, my Mom knows I want him to self-wean, so why should I follow her advice? Does Mom know best, am I doing something wrong?

Please advise if you can!

TIA!

Roxanne
Daniel 8/9/03
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Old 05-16-2005, 11:41 PM
 
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I'm definitely not the most experienced bf'ing mom here by far, but I don't see any problem with your DS nursing standing up! My DS is only 8 months but already loves to stand up by the couch and nurse. Trust your instincts, mama, you're doing the right thing!

Besides, why else would there be all these fly-by nursing smilies? : :

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Old 05-17-2005, 12:03 AM
 
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First, why would you want to "encourage" him to wean.

As for not standing up nursing...

That, IMO, is a personal comfort issue. There are good things and bad things on both sides of the arguement.

I, personally, generally found it annoying but sometimes it just worked better. I don't really think it effects weaning time, though

One thing to consider, though, is when DS nurses and if it is conducive to nursing standing up. For example, if he usually nurses while napping, or hurt, or while going to sleep I wouldn't want him to get any *more* active than he probably is already.

I really do think that is a personal preference thing. Some people CAN NOT STAND nipple tweaking. Other's really don't care. I'm sure *somewhere* out there is someone who encourages it (to stimulate milk supply). Whatever you decide I'm sure will be great. I don't think there is a standard reason to allow it, or disallow it, kwim?

 

 

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Old 05-17-2005, 02:39 AM
 
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Another "nursing strike mislabelled self weaning" to another!! The only difference is that I was 11mo, not 10, and it was the day I took my first steps. My Mom also told me about how she made a huge deal about me sending my bottles to the new baby when my cousin was born (I was 2.5)

Your Mom knew what was best for you when you were a baby and child. She's still a wonderful person, and has lots of wisdom and insight that can help you, but you're the Mom now and you know what's best for YOUR baby!! For her, not allowing you to nurse standing up was the right choice. What's best for your baby? Only you can answer that. Your child isn't going to be harmed either way.

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Old 05-17-2005, 05:34 AM
 
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Your body, your baby, your positioning comfort.



FWIW, I find that stand-up nursing is just the greatest thing since sliced cheese. My favorite nursing footstool under the computer desk just makes NAKing ohsomuch easier :LOL

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Old 05-17-2005, 08:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rox5266
.. But my Mom always says, "Don't let him nurse standing up, you have to make him lie in your lap if he wants to nurse. That way he will wean because he does not want to be in your lap."
I don't really understand this. My kids were happy to be in my lap long after they weaned. That sure wouldn't have encouraged weaning here. HOWEVER, if your child prefers to stand, and you insist he lie down, then I can see how it might encourage weaning, since he'd be uncomfortable in that position (though, it might also just encourage tantrums, depending on the kid.)

I'd say, just nurse him whichever way the two of you are comfortable!

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Old 05-17-2005, 12:43 PM
 
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:LOL at your mom's idea. DD has always nursed in my lap as I did not like the idea of fly by. She at least had/has to want it enough to climb onto my lap. Same for DS back in his day.

She's 6, down to a couple of times/week, but nonetheless not weaned.

Now if that's your mom's idea of early weaning, extremely cool for you. :LOL

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Old 05-18-2005, 10:51 AM
 
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flyby!!!! What a cute name for it!!!!




Quote:
Originally Posted by merpk
Your body, your baby, your positioning comfort.
:

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Old 05-18-2005, 03:44 PM
 
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dd has never been into the standing position. I tried so hard to get her to nurse lying down and it never worked out. When dd was old enough to have an indepth conversatin she plainly explained that she didn't like nursing lying down. We are just now entering a stage where dd routinely goes a day or two between nursing, but she's always on my lap (well, all that still fits ).

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Old 05-18-2005, 03:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meiri

She's 6, down to a couple of times/week, but nonetheless not weaned.
very cool

Dani, wife to Cullen - 9/2002, mom to CJ 11/2004, Billy 12/2007 and Nora 7/2009
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Old 05-18-2005, 04:36 PM
 
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I encourage my dd not to stand and nurse, for my comfort. She tends to pull my boobs when she does this and it is annoying, so we only nurse in cradle postition.

It has had no effect (not htat I wanted it to) on weaning status. She is almost two and a half and told me she would nurse until she is a mommy.

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Old 05-18-2005, 10:21 PM
 
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My dd has always sat with me rather than stand simply out of her preference, I guess, and this has not encouraged her to wean. She is 3.5 and gradually moving towards that on her own but I think it has to do with maturity rather than positioning. I don't think there would be any reason that letting your son stand would encourage him to nurse any longer -- it's whatever you (and he) are comfortable with.
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:43 PM
 
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I haven't nursed a toddler (my son and I accidentally weaned at 9 months- boring story, PM me if you want to hear it) but I don't see what the big deal would be with nursing your toddler while he stands, as long as you're comfortable with it.

Standing is fine, but not jumping. I would recommend against nursing ds while he's jumping.
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