Silly Question re: night nursing! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 17 Old 09-20-2005, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really just need some reassurrance and support I am planning CLW. Dd is 16 months and co-sleeps. She nurses a lot during the day when I am home (I work part-time). She doesn't drink cow's milk, so I leave breast milk for her. She eats plenty of solids-3 meals, lots of snacks, etc. She also nurses a lot at night- anywhere from 2-5 times (possibly more when teething). Sometimes she is attached at the breast :LOL Anyway...was told today by another mama that I need to "break" that habit of nursing. I feel very stongly about having dd night wean when she is ready and do not want to influence her nursing patterns. I really just need some support and encouragement, as well as reassurance, that I am not the only mama who has a frequent night nurser. And that I am making the right decision to CLW!

Beth, Mama to dd , wife to dh , teacher :~ Living, Loving, Learning...everyday.
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#2 of 17 Old 09-20-2005, 04:02 PM
 
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Anytime someone tells you to do something that doesn't feel right, listen to your instinct! Only you and your baby know what you need to do.

My son night-nursed until he was 3 yrs old (only once a night by the time he was 2). The time when they can do that is so short, why would you want to rush them to give it up?

Enjoy the closeness and bonding while you've got it!

DS1: 2/02 ROTFLMAO.gif DD: 9/04 blahblah.gif DS2: 9/07jog.gif and EDD: 11/13 belly.gif

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#3 of 17 Old 09-21-2005, 06:13 PM
 
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My my my

Yes I was up many times in the night with my DS (~6 times). He did start to nurse less at night after he turned two (~5 times) and gradually continued to night nurse regularly through 3 3/4. It is odd how this culture could easily label night nursing as a bad habit. Since DS gradually decreased on his own, it wouldn't really be considered a habit would it?

There are many other moms of avid night nursers around here. I am sure they will come to the call.

As previously said...... following your own instinct is the best choice. No one else can tell you what is right or wrong or good or bad.

Good Luck
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#4 of 17 Old 09-21-2005, 08:12 PM
 
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Hmm, I don't think of it as a bad habit (frustrating and drives me crazy at times habit tho ) I think that anything that important to her must be important for a reason.

nothing more to say I guess :
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#5 of 17 Old 09-21-2005, 08:20 PM
 
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My almost 4yo still nurses at night- always before bed and upon waking up, and occasionally during the night as well.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#6 of 17 Old 09-22-2005, 01:28 AM
 
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I know my baby would still wake if nightweaned. I personally love the easy of rolling over to nurse him calmly back to sleep when I am able. I am not always able right now because of being pg and one very favorite (DS prefers the left) nip. My DS is 17 months and needs comforting frequently. I think you should continue to comfort DD the best way that works for the two of you.
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#7 of 17 Old 09-22-2005, 08:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the replies. I know that night nursing is working well w/ us and dd will wean when she is ready. It is really nice to have other mamas who have had similar night nursing experiences! Thanks for the support and encouragement

Beth, Mama to dd , wife to dh , teacher :~ Living, Loving, Learning...everyday.
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#8 of 17 Old 09-22-2005, 01:07 PM
 
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DS is night weaning on his own.

He is newly four and nurses to sleep, when he wakes up and 2-3 times during the night. This is *HUGE* for us. A year ago he was still nursing every 1-2 hours. He has done it basically all by himself.

I cannot explain the joy that I feel knowing that he is doing this on his own. That *he* is growing into a skill (sleeping through the night) at his own pace, at his own time. I did nightwean DD and have regretted it ever since. It is truly awe inspiring to see DS do this on his own.


 

 

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#9 of 17 Old 09-22-2005, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2
I cannot explain the joy that I feel knowing that he is doing this on his own. That *he* is growing into a skill (sleeping through the night) at his own pace, at his own time. I did nightwean DD and have regretted it ever since. It is truly awe inspiring to see DS do this on his own.

Thanks for this mama. It is exactly what I needed and what I want for dd

Beth, Mama to dd , wife to dh , teacher :~ Living, Loving, Learning...everyday.
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#10 of 17 Old 09-22-2005, 06:32 PM
 
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two things come to mind:

1. are you doing anything to ENCOURAGE the habit that you don't think seems right? (like making her nurse if she didn't go for it? yea...exactly...)

2. mother with your heart, not your head. our culture is so screwed up, maybe you can make a "normal" grown-up by being there for her when you she needs you instead of one more fish in this sea of attachment disordered, whacked out, detached nutjobs we have in this country!
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#11 of 17 Old 09-22-2005, 10:56 PM
 
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I know you've gotten lots of answers already, but I wanted to add that DS is doing the exact same thing, and he is almost 20 months old

He actually slept 10:30-7:00 the other night/morning...I was shocked!
Of course the next night he woke probably 5 or 6 times :LOL

Oh well, go with the flow
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#12 of 17 Old 09-23-2005, 12:02 AM
 
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yeah, just want to lend my reply, too... was talking to a mother I met at la leche a long time ago and she told me that she night-weaned her daughter (my daughter Maya's age, 2ish) "because it was just a habit"

it hurt me inside to hear that -- though I believe she knows what is best for her daughter, I started questioning myself. I'm so danged tired (Maya nurses a lot at night, no idea how often, but it's a lot) I thought, maybe I should be doing more to keep her from it?

then I remembered how *I* believe (me personally, in my soul) that (a mama up above me in this thread said it so well!) a habit like this seems to me to be for a reason, I mean, if she were tapping her foot up and down, it would be for a reason, know what I mean? so what if it's "habit?" the implication of that phrase is that it's therefore something that should be stopped

UGH!

why do we live in this culture where there are so many countless pressures to NOT nurse our babies?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!

also, to add to the CLWness of it all... last night and tonight, Maya said, "no nah-nah" and needed to climb herself all the way under the covers. she ended up nursing herself to sleep as usual, and nursed extensively (as usual) all night long, but, it's an intense miracle to see her working through whatever this "no nah nah" thing is. I did talk to her about the idea of getting more sleep at night by not nursing after we go to sleep about a month or two ago, but her intense mommy-needing after that chat was so clearly an indication that she wasn't ready for the subject that I dropped it...

back to the support issue, I don't come to this message board often, but when I do, I always am moved to tears by finding the support I find/see here...

night nursing: enjoy it while it lasts!

--Heather
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#13 of 17 Old 09-23-2005, 07:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchyconmomma
2. mother with your heart, not your head. our culture is so screwed up, maybe you can make a "normal" grown-up by being there for her when you she needs you instead of one more fish in this sea of attachment disordered, whacked out, detached nutjobs we have in this country!
You are so right mama

I usually have no problem doing what feels right to me. With this I began second guessing myself b/c it was a woman who has been very involved in LLL (not a leader, though) for a few years. I usually don't attend and for whatever reason thought I might be doing something "wrong" for lack of a better term. I know night nursing isn't wrong.

I spent last night night nursing. Dd is so sweet when she wakes up and says, "Mama, Milk." as she sings milk. You mamas have helped me to embrace and enjoy the night nursings more than I already have.

Beth, Mama to dd , wife to dh , teacher :~ Living, Loving, Learning...everyday.
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#14 of 17 Old 09-23-2005, 09:34 PM
 
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I also have a 16 month old who is an avid night nurser. With the exception of naps, he nurses very little during the day. Some nights I feel like that is all he does. I've noticed lately that the frequency is tapering off(finally).
Hang in there, you're not alone!

:
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#15 of 17 Old 09-28-2005, 12:34 PM
 
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I was just coming here to ask about night time nursing! I was at a storytime today, and some of the moms were talking about their babies' sleep. A couple of the moms (who I know are breastfeeding) said they "had to" just let their little ones cry as part of night weaning. I thought of Reese and how much she loves nursing...she's only nine months old, but these other babies at storytime are anywhere from 6-12 months. I guess I'm looking for reassurance that babies can indeed nightwean on their own and I don't "have to" leave her to cry. Deep down I know I don't "have to" do anything, but I'm a new mama and sometimes I feel really insecure about whether I'm doing the right thing.

Anyway, thank you to those of you who shared stories. This thread made me tear up a little!

Sheri
Reese (12-22-04)
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#16 of 17 Old 09-29-2005, 08:02 PM
 
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yup, i nightnursed until about 4 months ago when my milk dried up (pregnant)...i still do whenever he asks, but he doesn't ask that often...i suppose he knows the well is dry, so what's the point? LOL he still nurses plenty during the day, though.
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#17 of 17 Old 09-29-2005, 08:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turtlemama77
I guess I'm looking for reassurance that babies can indeed nightwean on their own and I don't "have to" leave her to cry. Deep down I know I don't "have to" do anything, but I'm a new mama and sometimes I feel really insecure about whether I'm doing the right thing.

Anyway, thank you to those of you who shared stories. This thread made me tear up a little!

Sheri
Reese (12-22-04)
Dear Sheri,
I think you are doing right by following your own intuition.
Yes, children will night wean on their own. (Any exceptions please post.) It might take some years and you might wish it would happen earlier, and maybe not.
My son was a frequent night nurser for 2 1/2 years gradually lengthening out his continuois sleep until he was 3 3/4. It might have been longer but due to medical intervention for a day and a couple of nights of being incapable of nursing he dropped his one remaining regular night nursing time without crying. I swear he knew what I needed. Now at four and three months, he continues to night nurse only on occasion.
Like you, I could not stand to let him cry. I "tried" once for several minutes and it ripped my heart to hear it. I can't say it was all glorious; I felt ragged for a long time. It is really remarkable how functional I still was.

So hang in there. Do what feels right to you. And check out "The No Cry Sleep Book" I don't think that's quite the right title but close. Anyway, it didn't really work that great for me but in the long run it did offer me a good perspective and I think certain ideas helped in the long term.



Good Luck
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