Who knows you still nurse? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 58 Old 10-24-2006, 02:30 AM
 
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Random strangers on the crowded bus this afternoon know. "I want to nurse bus!" And she insists on sitting up next to me, often with her bike helmet still on...not a terribly discreet position.

Seriously, we still NIP and I regularly wear my granola threads "I make milk, what's your superpower?" T-shirt. Pretty much it's out there for all the world to see. People out here are pretty live and let live, so while they might think it's odd and make comments about how they couldn't, I've never gotten any really negative comments--though I think the doc who did my annual exam (who weaned when her DD hit a nursing strike at 11 mo.) thought I was a bit out there. She seemed confused, it came up because I wanted to change my birth control and she was asking like, "She eats table foods though, right?" Uh, duh.

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#32 of 58 Old 10-24-2006, 03:07 AM
 
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Originally Posted by *Lisa* View Post
So, just out of curiosity, who knows that you're still nursing a toddler/older child? How much support/criticism do you get IRL?.
Our son gave me up for Barney at a little over 2, and our 4 YO daughter just weaned before her birthday from the bedtime / wake time nursings.

Support ? None, other than my husband. But, I didn't get much guff either I know there was talk (you know, the ooops, she just walked in the room stuff <G>) but wasn't worried. I made my point clear on BF with our son so they kept remarks to themselves with our daughter.
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#33 of 58 Old 10-24-2006, 03:11 AM
 
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My little one will be 3 in January and everyone knows we still nurse. I think some people think it's a little odd, but no one has ever said anything to me. We have a lot of support, including DP, who doesn't even know he is being supportive, it's just what we do to him.
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#34 of 58 Old 10-24-2006, 08:43 AM
 
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My dd is 41 months old (3-1/2) and still nursing...I don't really know who still knows...my friends here know, my dh and older dd, and I don't know if anyone else knows. Not that I'm 'hiding' it but it just doesn't come up in conversation with anyone else, and she rarely asks away from home.

We're spending Christmas with my husband's family and I wonder if it will come up while we're there...they are pretty mainstream (no one nursed their babies) and I'm sure they will think I'm a freak if it does come up but no one will be rude enough to say anything to ME about it, or to dd either! At least they BETTER not...I can't imagine any of them being so rude or out of line anyway...
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#35 of 58 Old 10-24-2006, 10:05 AM
 
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Originally Posted by *Lisa* View Post
So, just out of curiosity, who knows that you're still nursing a toddler/older child? How much support/criticism do you get IRL?

I just got off the phone with my old college roommate. She has a six week old, and I wanted to see how they were doing. The phone call was going great--she loved the Sears Baby Book that we sent her, and she went out and got the No Cry Sleep Solution and some other good stuff. She had some difficulty breastfeeding, but things are going better and she's trying to switch away from formula. They're cosleeping now and again, although she's still really nervous about that.

Then she asked me how long I nursed DD. I told her that we nursed for a really long time. She asked if that meant two years, so I told her that DD self-weaned at 4 (just this past summer). I think she thought I was completely insane. She was nice about it, though, and just commented that she didn't think she could do that. It occurred to me just how few people know that she nursed this long. We really never nursed in public since before she was two or so, so only a handful of people really knew she was still nursing.

We told people in our AP playgroup that she weaned, so they knew she had been nursing (and were of course supportive). DD announced her weaning at church one morning during a sharing of joys and sorrows (to my great surprise), but most people didn't understand her... We got a couple of supportive comments and a couple of those looks.... My mom has been supportive enough (at least she never really commented one way or another). I guess I sort of forgot how "weird" it is to be nursing a 4 year old until my conversation tonight. Ugh. I hate feeling weird. I really need to get over that.

Anyway, tell me about your support or lack thereof IRL.
pak

everyone knows. and i have website pics that display this wonderful gift.

last week, my 3 y/o was very sick, and my mom called me at work. "come home," she said, "because you need to nurse her. she needs fluids and she needs your milk."

so, yeah, i get a lot of support.

Kirsten - wife to Mark and co-sleeping, breastfeeding mother to , :, and
Photography, including Breastfeeding Photography, in my Homepage.
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#36 of 58 Old 10-24-2006, 10:08 AM
 
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i'm not sure who all knows i still breastfeed my 6 1/2yo and 5 yo. Only close family members and friends have seen that. and it doesn't come up in converstation too often. My 6 1/2, no one sees that anymore mainly because he's intermittant with his nursing needs, once a week (cept lately he's upped to 2x a day). But, it's funny, nursing the 5 yo in front of family is not a big deal too me (and no one would dare say anything negative), when my oldest who was 5 last year i was much more cautious and would go into another room. i guess by the time my 2nd gets there i'm comfortable (or confident might be a better word) with it and being comfortable with what your doing is what matters no matter what someone else thinks.

And my dh loves talking, so he'll tell anybody if he can fit it into a converstation.

Nursing my 2 1/2 yo isn't an issue at all. And nursing my 3mos old never raises an eyebrow anywhere or with anyone.

my boss did ask about 2 mos ago if i was still nursing the older ones (the boys). i told him yes before he even finished the question. luckily he wasn't drinking anything or i'd have been wearing it. i just told him if he doesn't think he'll like the answer...don't ask. but, he's a good guy, he'll get over it and it'll just make him think more.
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#37 of 58 Old 10-24-2006, 03:08 PM
 
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I've never really had any support from family members..DH was very supportive w/DS and DD..DS weaned at 3.5yrs..and DD is nursing still at 2.5yrs..but now hubby has started feeling funny about NIP and tells me it's better is she waits..which I have no problems as long as DD doesn't throw a fit and start pullin on my shirt..but sh'es pretty good in public..often too busy to nurse!
but I have to hear it from my mother..but not as oftena s I hear it from my Motherin law!! they tell DD things like "nana's nasty!, that's for babies, you're a big girl now, or "she doesn't need it anymore"...the only thing I do is nod my head and shrug! okay! and continue nursing!
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#38 of 58 Old 10-24-2006, 03:19 PM
 
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My ds will be 2 soon, and we still nurse all the time everywhere. It's not uncommon where I live to see 3, 4, and 5 year olds NIP. I do draw the line though when we're in public and he trys to lift my entire shirt up so he can hold on to the other one. I've haven't yet gotton any negative comments, but am waiting. We visit my IL's this christmas. They know ds stills nurses but I wonder if they'll be uncomfortable to see him nurse? Oh well!

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#39 of 58 Old 10-24-2006, 04:36 PM
 
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Seriously, we still NIP and I regularly wear my granola threads "I make milk, what's your superpower?" T-shirt.

I love it!!!
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#40 of 58 Old 10-24-2006, 11:59 PM
 
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My ds will be 2 soon, and we still nurse all the time everywhere. It's not uncommon where I live to see 3, 4, and 5 year olds NIP.
can i live with you?
my 3.5 yo still nips all the time, but i've never seen anyone else nurse a child even that young in real life.
who knows we nurse? anyone who hangs out for more than an hour and a half. and several hundred boston commuters! i've received one shocked look and no negative comments. it has shifted from feeling like something i should do - to prove, to educate - into my everyday life and my overwhelming love for dd. which i think is a more compelling "argument" anyway.

this thread is making me so grateful for all the support i have.
thank you family and friends.
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#41 of 58 Old 10-25-2006, 12:26 AM
 
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all my friends and family know, because i make sure to fit it into the conversation at some point. ds is ONLY 18 mo, but he has stopped asking in public as much. i think he picks up on my comfort level and the comfort levels of others and only asks when we are with closer friends who are less likely to be offended.

i want to also mention that last night my (very clw supportive) dh said,

"hey, remember before the baby was born, when you said you'd feel uncomfortable nursing him when he was old enough to ask for it in words?"

:

what was i thinking back then???!!!?? this is great! why would i stop now??

sooo, maybe there is hope after all for all our friends who say, "oh, that's fine for you but I couldn't do it."
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#42 of 58 Old 10-25-2006, 12:43 AM
 
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Anyone and everyone that see me or knows me!!
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#43 of 58 Old 10-25-2006, 06:38 PM
 
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Mostly all I hear is comments directed at dd which makes me pretty angry. "You're too old for nummies now!" "I thought you were a big girl!" "Nummies are for babies!" .. and zero support for me except my dh. My one close friend IRL doesn't say anything negative and tries to be polite. "Weell.. if it works for you..I couldn't do that.."
This is me. Everyone who knows us knows that DS (3.5 next month) still nurses occasionally . . . but no support and very dirty looks when NIP (especially from older women, which I find so odd . . .). Even DH thinks DS should have weaned by now, but I've made it very clear to all that this is NOT negotiable -- DS will stop nursing when he's ready, and not a moment before.

P.S. I also wear my granola threads t-shirt, and DS has a shirt that reads "Breastfed Baby - Stick Around for the Show" which I absolutely love.

Daughter since '68 ~Sister since '72 ~Wife since '97 ~ Mama since DS 5/03& DD 10/08
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#44 of 58 Old 10-25-2006, 07:00 PM
 
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Most people know my dd is still nursing as i will feed her wherever and whenever she needs it know ones ever said anything and i already have my comeback if they do as far as i am comcerned my daughters needs come first and tough if none else likes it to me she is still a baby and still needs to be nursed both for comfort and nutrition

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#45 of 58 Old 10-25-2006, 07:17 PM
 
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My close family (mom, sister, her family, MIL, FIL, SIL and her family, GMIL and GFIL) all know my youngest (3+ years) still nurses and that my oldest weaned at almost 5 years. I have a close ff-ing friend who knows. She's very respectful of me, as I am of her. My online friends know and are supportive. I get curiosity questions sometimes, but no negative comments. A coworker or two know and are generally supportive. I just finally met some other extended nursing moms and it was such a relief to know that I wasn't so unusual!
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#46 of 58 Old 10-25-2006, 07:22 PM
 
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i just wanted to thank everyone for their answers. i haven't even had the little one yet, but i am already getting comments!
"when they can ask for it" you will stop right? umm, if they asked for a bottle of formula, would you not give it to them?!!!
i am so frustrated at the ignorance. but it is nice to at least have an online community that understands the physical/emotional support that breastfeeding gives!

Legal Mama to TWO homebirthed, unschooled, unvaxed, cloth diapered, mei tei loving, still breastfeeding baby girl 1/14/07 and an intact 8 pound 10 ouncer baby boy 4/5/10.
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#47 of 58 Old 10-25-2006, 07:34 PM
 
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Both my 4.5yo and almost 3yo still nurse. My parents and LLL friends know that 4.5yo still nurses. Quite a few people know that my almost 3yo still nurses, since she recently started nursing during the day (occasionally NIP) again. However, I make it a policy not to nurse in front of people who would make rude comments.

I think the last time I head a semi-rude comment about BFing an older nursling was when my mom asked my how long I was planning to nurse my then-2.5yo. I said, "until she's done." And that was the last I heard about the subject.

New signature, same old me: Ann- mama of 2 boys and 2 girls, partnered to a fabulous man.
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#48 of 58 Old 10-25-2006, 09:20 PM
 
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My ds only asks to nurse about once a month (ok except this week it was twice, lol) but I don't think anyone but my MDC mama friends & a few other crunchy women know that...

when ds was about 18 months my MIL cautiously asked how long I thought we'd nurse and then she had to stew a few days over my answer before she finally politely asked, "What does a biologically normal duration of nursing mean?" heck, I have no idea if dh even knows where ds is at with nursing, come to think of it... he has heard enough from me about clw that weaning was never a topic and wow, I just don't know if he has any idea if ds is weaned or not! LOL!
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#49 of 58 Old 10-25-2006, 09:30 PM
 
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Besides DH, probably only my mom. When I told her that I was going to bf for as long as DS wants, she said, shocked, "Then he'll probably want to nurse until he's three!" I said, "yes, he probably will."
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#50 of 58 Old 10-25-2006, 10:54 PM
 
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Hmm, interesting question! My dd will be 3 in January.

My dh, my parents, my grandparents, my midwife, my doula, my (fantastic) pediatrician, LLL people, a couple close friends and those random people that read my blog! Everyone is still supportive or if they aren't they're smart enough to keep their mouths shut!

My inlaws stopped asking about six months ago. I think they got creeped out that I kept saying, "yes, she's still nursing!" : Oh the horror!
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#51 of 58 Old 10-26-2006, 01:40 AM
 
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Everyone knows and I love when they question it. I always take it as a chance to educate them.

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#52 of 58 Old 10-26-2006, 09:45 AM
 
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my ds is only 2 but I'm pretty sure most people know I'm still nursing. I still NIP ehenever he wants to...I got a funny look at Picture People yesterday. I think a lot of people just assume that he's not nursing anymore though, kwim? I think a lot of my family (they live far away and I really don't mention nursing much, unless my mom asks me what ds is doing while we're on the phone and I say nursing) would be surprised if they knew. I don't hide it but it's not something I tell everyone. (I would if the topic came up though) I'm pretty sure everyone at church knows, course we have a member that nursed her children to 4 and 4.5 (respectively) and everyone knows I'm a wierd hippie so they probably assume I'm doing that crazy nursing-a-child thing.

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#53 of 58 Old 10-26-2006, 08:01 PM
 
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My DS will be 2 in Jan and everyone knows I nurse him. Anytime anyone says, "Oh he is so smart" or "Look at that pretty hair" I say "Yep, he is breastfed" and smile. Some people then ask how old he is and I tell them almost 2. A few have said, "Wow that is a long time." When I whip out, "No actually 4 is the average age and the WHO says AT LEAST 2 years" that usually shuts them up.
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#54 of 58 Old 10-28-2006, 03:23 PM
 
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My DS just turned 5. The LLL leaders know, but the others probably do not unless he does it there. My DH, and my ob/gyn know, and my family probably suspects, but it doesn't come up. No one has ever suggested I wean.

It has actually saved us a number of times. At 3 he broke his collar bone. Nursing got him through that. He let them examin him while he was attached. Otherwise, you were not touching him. The only time I NIP is at the theatre. He always falls asleep.
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#55 of 58 Old 10-28-2006, 09:09 PM
 
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My mom and dh know, I think my grandmas might and my MIL might. He has mentioned sleeping with the "Bo Bo's" while around them. Ds is a little over 2. It doesn't really come up, he doesn't ask to nurse when we are out, if he did I guess more people would know I don't have aproblem bfing him anywhere. We too still wear our bfing and proud shirts out in public
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#56 of 58 Old 10-28-2006, 09:52 PM
 
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I advertise as well. I tell everyone. I think it's my chance to educate the world. LOL.

Although it has been currently 48 hours since the last time she asked to nurse!!!!
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#57 of 58 Old 10-29-2006, 08:21 PM
 
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Nick is two now. Most people know that I am still nursing him, and because I am very matter of fact about it I don't get a lot of comments, either way. I get a lot of vibes, but not a lot of comments.

The only people I "keep" this from are my students... they know he was/is breastfed but I don't talk about it to them unless directly asked. I'll admit that I'm a little afraid that they will talk negatively about it to their parents, who will feel that they shouldn't know about it at all. But some of my kids are really cool about it and know, like Gigi who was herself nursed until two or so. I also found myself not answering the "how long did he nurse" question at a friend's birth-- we were interrupted so I didn't have to answer but normally I would have answered after the interruption... he's starting to get old enough that I feel a little awkward around some people.

And it's much easier to say "I still nurse my two year old" when people don't know my two year old. They picture a younger kid when they don't know him. But in reality my child is over three feet tall, over thirty pounds. He's physically very capable (can pedal a bike, catch a ball with one hand, make baskets, etc), absolutely fearless, has a huge vocabulary and puts together long, coherent paragraphs of speech. He's been potty trained for months and can get undressed and dressed himself. He's a little person, and while I have no problem nursing a little person (especially when he asks "May I have cow cow please mama?") I know that MOST people think that nursing is for babies, which my child is certainly not.

Wow, that was a lot.
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#58 of 58 Old 10-31-2006, 07:41 AM
 
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All my family members and friends. I don't have had any problems especially as no one ever made any untoward remark or advised otherwise.
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