Seriously, we still NIP and I regularly wear my granola threads "I make milk, what's your superpower?" T-shirt. Pretty much it's out there for all the world to see. People out here are pretty live and let live, so while they might think it's odd and make comments about how they couldn't, I've never gotten any really negative comments--though I think the doc who did my annual exam (who weaned when her DD hit a nursing strike at 11 mo.) thought I was a bit out there. She seemed confused, it came up because I wanted to change my birth control and she was asking like, "She eats table foods though, right?" Uh, duh.
breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling Heathen parent to my little Wanderer, 7 1/2 , and baby Elf-stone, 3/11!
So, just out of curiosity, who knows that you're still nursing a toddler/older child? How much support/criticism do you get IRL?.
Support ? None, other than my husband. But, I didn't get much guff either I know there was talk (you know, the ooops, she just walked in the room stuff <G>) but wasn't worried. I made my point clear on BF with our son so they kept remarks to themselves with our daughter.
We're spending Christmas with my husband's family and I wonder if it will come up while we're there...they are pretty mainstream (no one nursed their babies) and I'm sure they will think I'm a freak if it does come up but no one will be rude enough to say anything to ME about it, or to dd either! At least they BETTER not...I can't imagine any of them being so rude or out of line anyway...
So, just out of curiosity, who knows that you're still nursing a toddler/older child? How much support/criticism do you get IRL?
I just got off the phone with my old college roommate. She has a six week old, and I wanted to see how they were doing. The phone call was going great--she loved the Sears Baby Book that we sent her, and she went out and got the No Cry Sleep Solution and some other good stuff. She had some difficulty breastfeeding, but things are going better and she's trying to switch away from formula. They're cosleeping now and again, although she's still really nervous about that.
Then she asked me how long I nursed DD. I told her that we nursed for a really long time. She asked if that meant two years, so I told her that DD self-weaned at 4 (just this past summer). I think she thought I was completely insane. She was nice about it, though, and just commented that she didn't think she could do that. It occurred to me just how few people know that she nursed this long. We really never nursed in public since before she was two or so, so only a handful of people really knew she was still nursing.
We told people in our AP playgroup that she weaned, so they knew she had been nursing (and were of course supportive). DD announced her weaning at church one morning during a sharing of joys and sorrows (to my great surprise), but most people didn't understand her... We got a couple of supportive comments and a couple of those looks.... My mom has been supportive enough (at least she never really commented one way or another). I guess I sort of forgot how "weird" it is to be nursing a 4 year old until my conversation tonight. Ugh. I hate feeling weird. I really need to get over that.
Anyway, tell me about your support or lack thereof IRL.
everyone knows. and i have website pics that display this wonderful gift.
last week, my 3 y/o was very sick, and my mom called me at work. "come home," she said, "because you need to nurse her. she needs fluids and she needs your milk."
so, yeah, i get a lot of support.
Photography, including Breastfeeding Photography, in my Homepage.
And my dh loves talking, so he'll tell anybody if he can fit it into a converstation.
Nursing my 2 1/2 yo isn't an issue at all. And nursing my 3mos old never raises an eyebrow anywhere or with anyone.
my boss did ask about 2 mos ago if i was still nursing the older ones (the boys). i told him yes before he even finished the question. luckily he wasn't drinking anything or i'd have been wearing it. i just told him if he doesn't think he'll like the answer...don't ask. but, he's a good guy, he'll get over it and it'll just make him think more.
but I have to hear it from my mother..but not as oftena s I hear it from my Motherin law!! they tell DD things like "nana's nasty!, that's for babies, you're a big girl now, or "she doesn't need it anymore"...the only thing I do is nod my head and shrug! okay! and continue nursing!
My ds will be 2 soon, and we still nurse all the time everywhere. It's not uncommon where I live to see 3, 4, and 5 year olds NIP.
my 3.5 yo still nips all the time, but i've never seen anyone else nurse a child even that young in real life.
who knows we nurse? anyone who hangs out for more than an hour and a half. and several hundred boston commuters! i've received one shocked look and no negative comments. it has shifted from feeling like something i should do - to prove, to educate - into my everyday life and my overwhelming love for dd. which i think is a more compelling "argument" anyway.
this thread is making me so grateful for all the support i have.
thank you family and friends.
i want to also mention that last night my (very clw supportive) dh said,
"hey, remember before the baby was born, when you said you'd feel uncomfortable nursing him when he was old enough to ask for it in words?"
what was i thinking back then???!!!?? this is great! why would i stop now??
sooo, maybe there is hope after all for all our friends who say, "oh, that's fine for you but I couldn't do it."
Mostly all I hear is comments directed at dd which makes me pretty angry. "You're too old for nummies now!" "I thought you were a big girl!" "Nummies are for babies!" .. and zero support for me except my dh. My one close friend IRL doesn't say anything negative and tries to be polite. "Weell.. if it works for you..I couldn't do that.."
P.S. I also wear my granola threads t-shirt, and DS has a shirt that reads "Breastfed Baby - Stick Around for the Show" which I absolutely love.
Becky, sahm to 25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008
19.05.2012 18.08.2012 24.05.2013 25.6.2013 04.09.2014
"when they can ask for it" you will stop right? umm, if they asked for a bottle of formula, would you not give it to them?!!!
i am so frustrated at the ignorance. but it is nice to at least have an online community that understands the physical/emotional support that breastfeeding gives!
I think the last time I head a semi-rude comment about BFing an older nursling was when my mom asked my how long I was planning to nurse my then-2.5yo. I said, "until she's done." And that was the last I heard about the subject.
I'm an unintentional weasel feeder and I suck at proofreading.
when ds was about 18 months my MIL cautiously asked how long I thought we'd nurse and then she had to stew a few days over my answer before she finally politely asked, "What does a biologically normal duration of nursing mean?" heck, I have no idea if dh even knows where ds is at with nursing, come to think of it... he has heard enough from me about clw that weaning was never a topic and wow, I just don't know if he has any idea if ds is weaned or not! LOL!
My dh, my parents, my grandparents, my midwife, my doula, my (fantastic) pediatrician, LLL people, a couple close friends and those random people that read my blog! Everyone is still supportive or if they aren't they're smart enough to keep their mouths shut!
My inlaws stopped asking about six months ago. I think they got creeped out that I kept saying, "yes, she's still nursing!" : Oh the horror!
Genie, mama to T (4/02), I (10/04) and T (7/09)
It has actually saved us a number of times. At 3 he broke his collar bone. Nursing got him through that. He let them examin him while he was attached. Otherwise, you were not touching him. The only time I NIP is at the theatre. He always falls asleep.
The only people I "keep" this from are my students... they know he was/is breastfed but I don't talk about it to them unless directly asked. I'll admit that I'm a little afraid that they will talk negatively about it to their parents, who will feel that they shouldn't know about it at all. But some of my kids are really cool about it and know, like Gigi who was herself nursed until two or so. I also found myself not answering the "how long did he nurse" question at a friend's birth-- we were interrupted so I didn't have to answer but normally I would have answered after the interruption... he's starting to get old enough that I feel a little awkward around some people.
And it's much easier to say "I still nurse my two year old" when people don't know my two year old. They picture a younger kid when they don't know him. But in reality my child is over three feet tall, over thirty pounds. He's physically very capable (can pedal a bike, catch a ball with one hand, make baskets, etc), absolutely fearless, has a huge vocabulary and puts together long, coherent paragraphs of speech. He's been potty trained for months and can get undressed and dressed himself. He's a little person, and while I have no problem nursing a little person (especially when he asks "May I have cow cow please mama?") I know that MOST people think that nursing is for babies, which my child is certainly not.
Wow, that was a lot.