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#1 of 17 Old 12-25-2006, 07:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My SIL (who has 5 kids and knows everything about kids ) was giving me the lecture about "why haven't you weaned dd yet? The new baby is coming soon (gee, didn't know that! ) and that's going to be a problem..."

Hmmm... Last I checked, there are two "jugs" down there...

I also get irritated with this line of talk because why does tandeming have to be the half empty glass? Instead of looking at how my dd MIGHT be jealous of the new baby because they will have to share the jugs, and that it might make more work for me to go back and forth at night or whatever... why not look half full and say that it will be somethign that dd WON"T have to be jealous of because she will get to share with the new baby and will still be able to have her biggest comfort ?
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#2 of 17 Old 12-26-2006, 12:24 AM
 
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Oh, I just had this conversation with dh's grandmother. She told me she hoped my little one wouldn't be jealous of the new baby and I made a comment about how we were still cosleeping and nursing, so she would essentially be doing the same things as the baby.

I also got the comments about how extended nursing is for the mother, not the child and how I'm "stealing" nutrients from my developing baby.

Ughh.
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#3 of 17 Old 12-26-2006, 01:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have to say that anyone who says that nursing during pregnancy is for the mother has never had the agonizing pain that has accompanied it for me
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#4 of 17 Old 12-26-2006, 01:44 AM
 
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Umm YEAH.
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#5 of 17 Old 12-26-2006, 01:49 AM
 
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For quick inspiration, check out these photos of breastfeeding mommas from France. There are several beautiful shots of tandem nursing. Definitely inspirational!

http://maternage.free.fr/expo.htm

I'm not sure that this is completely related to the original post, but when I read what you wrote, it made me think of this website.

Good luck!
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#6 of 17 Old 12-26-2006, 01:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by muppet729 View Post
I have to say that anyone who says that nursing during pregnancy is for the mother has never had the agonizing pain that has accompanied it for me
Amen. There are plenty of things I do just for me, but I am not enough of a masochist for nursing while pg to be one of them!
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#7 of 17 Old 12-26-2006, 04:41 PM
 
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Yup, there have been days where I would have been happy to crawl out of my skin!

I just wish doctors would keep their mouths shut when they have nothing good to say about bf, because apparently a doctor said that to gmil.
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#8 of 17 Old 12-27-2006, 04:52 AM
 
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I feel bad for saying this- but nursing my dd saved me during my second pregnancy. It was the only time my spirited child gave me peace. And now that she's three- she is on a rampage. I am very glad that we tandem. My dd and ds are very close, and she is so great with him.

I hope it is as rewarding for me as it is for you!


Julieknit.gif, DP to modifiedartist.gif, mama to DD (7)dust.gif , and DS (5)joy.gif

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#9 of 17 Old 12-27-2006, 02:28 PM
 
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oh yeah, dont feel bad. I guarantee you that every one of the moms of older n urslings on this board have been grateful for the moment of HUSH that comes with a boob in their mouth.
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#10 of 17 Old 12-27-2006, 02:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mom2snugbugs View Post
I feel bad for saying this- but nursing my dd saved me during my second pregnancy. It was the only time my spirited child gave me peace. And now that she's three- she is on a rampage. I am very glad that we tandem. My dd and ds are very close, and she is so great with him.

I hope it is as rewarding for me as it is for you!

Please don't feel bad! I totally agree that my 3yo only gives me peace sometimes when we're nursing. There is definitely a certain amount of selfishness (if you can call it that- sanity is more like it ) with nursing while pregnant. I'm just saying that it's certainly not the ONLY reason that I still do it. I can tell that for whatever reason my very independent child still obviously NEEDS to do it because she's survived my mood swings, my exclamations of pain and sharp denials because of the pain and still wants to nurse. If it were just for me, I woudln't have been able to get her to keep going- you definitely can't force a 3yo to nurse!
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#11 of 17 Old 12-29-2006, 01:55 PM
 
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I think the 'doing it for yourself' reason comes from the fact that people think nursing is inheriently sexualized since breasts belong to men and not babies in our society and is therefore something that the mother must do soley for her own pleasure. I really think that those who think in that warped way have never nursed a child themselves and can't view a woman's body as having a reproductive function beyond pleasing her husband.

Personally, nursing during the second half of my pregnancy made me want to claw my own skin off. Drove me nuts and took everything I could do to sit still. We got through it and have been tandeming for over 2 years now. As soon as the baby was born, it no longer made my skin crawl. I don't know why I had that reaction, but I had to use reason and maturity to remind myself that I was the adult and her needs came before my own. So we then worked on setting some limits to minimize my discomfort yet still meet her needs.

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#12 of 17 Old 12-29-2006, 03:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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As soon as the baby was born, it no longer made my skin crawl. .
So glad to hear this- I have about 4 weeks left and I am NOT, NOT, NOT loving nursing right now! When it's not painful (which isn't often), I'm so uncomfortable and wanting to to pull away that I am having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I really hope that it's better after the baby is born- maybe not immediately, but eventually...
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#13 of 17 Old 12-29-2006, 04:51 PM
 
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With me, it was so immediate that I commented on it when nursing the new baby not 15 minutes after he was born- we had a rough birth (shoulder dystocia and the cord around the neck 4 times) and he was looking for comfort. I commented on it to my husband and midwife at the time. I know not every woman has that immediate of a change, though.

Surprisingly, my daughter didn't ask to nurse despite seeing him nurse constantly until a couple of days after he was born. Then after another few days and she realized he wasn't going to leave, she wanted to nurse every time he did for a while. Because of her bad latch, I just couldn't handle nursing both of them at once, and I still can't. So we had to help her learn patience and how to wait her turn, with constant reassurance that she would get a turn as soon as possible. We gave her a lot of reassurance that we still loved her, and all of the one-on-one time I could muster with a newborn and healing from an incredibly difficult birth with little help (plus we all came down with the flu when the baby was 3 days old). For a while, I felt like all I did was sit and nurse and get up to pee, take a rare shower, or get something to eat (also rare, unfortunately).

Anyway, it does level out and eventually the older child will be reassured that you love them and you'll fall into your own routine. With us, my daughter dropped back to nursing once or twice a day once she adjusted.

I would recommend that you get ready to have a lot of pre-prepared meals and nutritious post-birth food on hand, so you don't have to take much time in getting it ready and dealing with it all, and can instead focus on the older child. If they enjoy getting in the kitchen to help you get it thawed and into the oven, that's even better. We had live-in help that turned out to be no help at all, and because we were couting on the help we didn't prepare food ahead and I regret not preparing food beforehand to help in the transition.

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#14 of 17 Old 12-29-2006, 10:40 PM
 
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op, the glass is certainly half full!

i've been tandeming over 5 yrs and love almost every minute of it!!!

and bama mom, [QUOTE][I guarantee you that every one of the moms of older n urslings on this board have been grateful for the moment of HUSH that comes with a boob in their mouth./QUOTE]

i've spit my dh made chilles reyellanos all over my comptuer screen,

gotta go, there are at least 2 lined up..


i love tandeming...:
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#15 of 17 Old 12-29-2006, 10:42 PM
 
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I just love that you referred to them as "Jugs"! The kids can share them and bond, etc. etc.

Life is good.

Some people just haven't figured that out, yet.
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#16 of 17 Old 12-30-2006, 12:37 AM
 
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Thank you for all the good advice and stories here!

I've been cooking double meals whenever I can and the freezer is about 1/3 full of pre-cooked meals, but this is a good incentive to do more!
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#17 of 17 Old 12-30-2006, 01:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by muppet729 View Post
Instead of looking at how my dd MIGHT be jealous of the new baby because they will have to share the jugs,
Wouldn't this be an argument *for* tandeming? If she MIGHT be jealous of the new baby because they have to share, then she'd *definitely* be jealous if she didn't get any because of the new baby.
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