Nursing Strike or CLW? PLEASE HELP! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 06:15 PM
 
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I am not kidding. In the 2005 version, the AAP monograph on breastfeeding contained this footnote:

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There is a difference of opinion among AAP experts on this matter. The Section on Breastfeeding acknowledges that the Committee on Nutrition supports introduction of complementary foods between 4 and 6 months of age when safe and nutritious complementary foods are available.
I just looked now and it's been removed from the 2007 version, but at the time I was introducing my younger to solids (2005), the Committee on Nutrition was still saying that for some children, six months was on the late side. Obviously not those with a family history of allergies or the like.
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#62 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 06:32 PM
 
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I just looked now and it's been removed from the 2007 version, but at the time I was introducing my younger to solids (2005), the Committee on Nutrition was still saying that for some children, six months was on the late side. Obviously not those with a family history of allergies or the like.
Based on new information, they are now saying to wait until after 6 months for all babies.
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#63 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 09:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I agree.

Change of medication can cause changes in milk.

As he won't drink the EBM either it sounds to me like it is affecting the taste and he doesn't like it.

As you did change the meds back I would keep offering. It might take a bit for the meds to get out of your system.
He actually started taking EBM from a sippy cup (finally) on what...day 4? (one of my posts had that info). I know a sippy cup isn't ideal, but I am getting EBM into him and that's important to me.

Wellbutrin has a half life of 12 - 24 hours or something like that. So, it's way gone now and he's loving it again. Just not from the tap. :

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But she did mention that her child is a very picky eater and to me that is a concern.

Of course people recommend helping their children become more independant and AP is a large part of that.

IMO, rejecting the breast AND EBM at the same time she changed meds implies that the meds are affecting the taste of her milk. Different foods can cause this as well as hormonal changes.

For instance whenever I ate curry dd was all over me, curry bm made her crazy, I would just be cooking it and she would get a wild look in her eye.

Babies do get irritated or annoyed when their BM isn't just how they like it. IMO, as her child doesn't eat many solids they aren't ready to wean. Also, her child is having a problem with a tooth which can definately affect BF.

No one wants to force a child who is ready to wean to nurse. From what she has said, it doesn't seem as if her child is ready to wean but that this is a strike.

All the advice on this thread is going off of her feelings and the information she provided, that this is a strike and not a readiness to wean.

If a child is ready to wean NOTHING will make them nurse.
He is a picky eater, but that is pretty typical of toddlers. This week is eating a nice variety. Not concerned this week at all with regards to solids. And yes, he's self-feeding. I put stuff out and he grazed whenever he feels like crawling over to where it is.

I am still calling this a strike (it was abrupt, the timing was suspiciously close to the new meds, and being only 13 mos its pretty young....and he's got molars coming and was sick. Many reasons that he could've gone on strike. And I think you're right-- nothing can make a baby get back if they are truly done. I am still trying everything I can think of, although I will admit I am less optimistic and getting rejected time and time again gets a little old.

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I still remember the look my daughter gave me the last time I tried to nurse her at about a year. She literally pushed me away- with both hands and a very determined look. She's 18 now and not much I can do about it.
That's what Miles looks like. Every time. You hit the nail right on the head. He acts like, "what don't you understand? I do NOT want any. Geesh, lady!"

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Curry is most definitely NOT too spicy for babies! My baby (and now toddler) eats exactly the same things we do, including the spicy stuff. Sure, I usually tone down the heat a bit for her with some cream or something, but in cultures which eat lots of spicy foods, the babies get fed the same things adults eat.
:
Think Thailand, India, many other countries whose babes grow up on exactly what mom and dad eat. But, I digress...that's OT....



Thanks pixiepunk :
It's 9 days now and he's still not going for the boob. I am pumping about 18 ozs/day, and he's eating about that much a day. kellymom.com says this is "normal" for his age, but it's much less than he was 2 weeks ago (all night feeder and 3-5/daytime)

The molars are still in there-- none have erupted yet.

Like I said, I am still pumping and trying to stay as optimistic as possible but I am also trying to mentally and emotionally prepare for what may come. I must say that I am extremely proud to be at least still be giving him EBM during the day and will continue to pump as long as I can do so and still maintain my sanity.

Miles (December 2005) Pascual (March 2009). P's was my beautiful home waterbirth that healed me from my M's birth. natural birth, midwifery, postpartum depression, babywearing, breastfeeding.
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#64 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 09:42 PM
 
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I'm sorry to hear your little guy is still not nursing. But, good that he will take the EBM.

Have you tried bathing together? I've heard that often works.
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#65 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 09:44 PM
 
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Just another mama.

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#66 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 10:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks mamamoo (for you too)

sunnsideup-- yea, we've done lots of that. he pokes and laughs at them but no BF. but we enjoy the bath, that's for sure

Miles (December 2005) Pascual (March 2009). P's was my beautiful home waterbirth that healed me from my M's birth. natural birth, midwifery, postpartum depression, babywearing, breastfeeding.
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#67 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 11:35 PM
 
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you are amazing, vanessa.
just amazing.




c'mon molars! just erupt already so we know if that's part of it!
mama, you rock.
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#68 of 113 Old 02-18-2007, 12:11 AM
 
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you are amazing, vanessa.
just amazing.
i was thinking the same thing. very few mamas would be so dedicated. to consider still pumping to keep that bm in him. wow. i know i've said it before, but i'll say it again. what a lucky little guy.
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#69 of 113 Old 02-18-2007, 12:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by pixiepunk View Post
i was thinking the same thing. very few mamas would be so dedicated. to consider still pumping to keep that bm in him. wow. i know i've said it before, but i'll say it again. what a lucky little guy.
aaaawww shucks.:

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#70 of 113 Old 02-18-2007, 12:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by abimommy View Post
No one advised her to withhold food and water if he won't nurse. Try rereading the posts. No one said that.
actually post #19 does.....

and (this) homey don't play that. i wouldn't want to make our situation any more traumatic.

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#71 of 113 Old 02-18-2007, 11:41 AM
 
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actually post #19 does.....

and (this) homey don't play that. i wouldn't want to make our situation any more traumatic.

Good for you Vanessa. The important thing is that your child is happy and secure that he'll be getting his food the way he desires it. If there is one thing I've learned from having so many children is that they are all very, very different. My second DS weaned VERY early. Honestly I don't even remember exactly how old he was, but by the time he came along, we were having regular family meals and he desired doing what his older brother was doing more than breastfeeding. I just went with it. As you know, you can't MAKE them go back to the breast. Some of the advice you've been given on how to try that gives me creepy, crawly feelings.

Parenting is a journey that takes us down paths we never pictured ourselves on as we learn to adapt to the individual needs of our children. While you pictured yourself breastfeeding him for much longer, he's taking you down a different path now so you must adapt and accept. That's what makes a good parent. The way I see it, he's still getting EBM from you and he's still eating. So what's the problem? Regardless of why he initially weaned (or went on strike to some) he's now content and prefers drinking from a cup and eating. He's eventually supposed to do this. That's what humans do! I would continue pumping for as long as you desire and continue offering a wide variety of nutritious foods.

Incidentally, my second DS is an honor roll student. My first son isn't. Go figure! He's always known what he wants, when, and how to get it. I think that's a great quality to have even if it sometimes drives me batty!
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#72 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 01:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Parenting is a journey that takes us down paths we never pictured ourselves on as we learn to adapt to the individual needs of our children. While you pictured yourself breastfeeding him for much longer, he's taking you down a different path now so you must adapt and accept. That's what makes a good parent. The way I see it, he's still getting EBM from you and he's still eating. So what's the problem? Regardless of why he initially weaned (or went on strike to some) he's now content and prefers drinking from a cup and eating. He's eventually supposed to do this. That's what humans do! I would continue pumping for as long as you desire and continue offering a wide variety of nutritious foods.
:
Thanks lotsofkids. BTW, how many do you have??????

It's been 11.5 days. Seems he's taking more EBM during the day. That makes me happy.
Oh, and his molar finally broke through. He still declines the boob, but I'll bet the other 3 molars are still bugging him.:

--Vanessa

Miles (December 2005) Pascual (March 2009). P's was my beautiful home waterbirth that healed me from my M's birth. natural birth, midwifery, postpartum depression, babywearing, breastfeeding.
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#73 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 11:06 AM
 
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great that he's taking the EBM - at least you know he's getting the good stuff in him. and oh my do molar suck. at least the one that was really giving him trouble broke through. can't remember if you said you'd tried teething tablets, but they really do work wonders, at least they have for both my kids.
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#74 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 12:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have tried those-- hyland's-- they are only so-so for miles. now we will wait for the other 4 teeth that still have yet to come through....

Miles (December 2005) Pascual (March 2009). P's was my beautiful home waterbirth that healed me from my M's birth. natural birth, midwifery, postpartum depression, babywearing, breastfeeding.
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#75 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 12:16 PM
 
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Regardless of why he initially weaned (or went on strike to some) he's now content and prefers drinking from a cup and eating. He's eventually supposed to do this. That's what humans do!
So, you're saying that when a baby goes on a nursing strike we should not encourage him/her to go back to nursing, because humans eventually are supposed to drink from a cup? By that logic, why not start them on a cup at birth? My 2nd baby went on a nursing strike at 5 months old due to pacifier use. The poor kid would have starved himself if it was up to him because he prefered that stupid pacifier.
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Some of the advice you've been given on how to try that gives me creepy, crawly feelings.
I understand that some nursing strikes do lead to weaning, regardless of mom's efforts to continue with nursing, and of course a mom shouldn't blame herself if that happens. At some point you let it go. But I don't understand why you have such a problem with a mother trying to encourage a baby to continue nursing.

No one is saying a baby should be forced to nurse--how would you do that anyway????
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#76 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 12:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I understand that some nursing strikes do lead to weaning, regardless of mom's efforts to continue with nursing, and of course a mom shouldn't blame herself if that happens. At some point you let it go.
at what point? just curious what all of your opinions are on this. I may be opening a can of worms with this, but I would like to know. And I know it's a very personal decision-- but WWYD if you were in my situation?

Miles (December 2005) Pascual (March 2009). P's was my beautiful home waterbirth that healed me from my M's birth. natural birth, midwifery, postpartum depression, babywearing, breastfeeding.
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#77 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 01:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No one is saying a baby should be forced to nurse--how would you do that anyway????
I think what made her uncomfortable (and me) was the suggestion in post #19 to withhold food, assuming that by the end of the day baby would be deperate enough to come back to the boob.

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#78 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 01:07 PM
 
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that is such a hard question. it really is such a personal decision, i think. i mean, shoot, i know it sounds crazy to most of us here, but there are some moms who would've been thrilled to have a nursing strike lead to weaning at that age - kwim?

it's so hard for me to put myself mentally in that situation, having not been in those same circumstances - i have no idea what i'd do, to tell you the truth, other than just try till i didn't feel i wanted to try anymore. but what length of time that would be, or how much i would do until i reached that point? : no idea.

what i do know is that you've done everything you possibly can do to encourage nursing, and you shouldn't feel bad at all if you get to the point where you just need to stop trying and work on moving forward from here. but only you can truly know know where that point is.
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#79 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 03:10 PM
 
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what i do know is that you've done everything you possibly can do to encourage nursing, and you shouldn't feel bad at all if you get to the point where you just need to stop trying and work on moving forward from here. but only you can truly know know where that point is.
:
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#80 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 05:13 PM
 
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at what point? just curious what all of your opinions are on this. I may be opening a can of worms with this, but I would like to know. And I know it's a very personal decision-- but WWYD if you were in my situation?
I agree with pixie. If it is majorly stressing oyu out, then that probably isn't helping the prospects anyway, you know? I think you are amazing for trying as long as you have, and who knows maybe if you totally back off all the way(not to say you are being pushy or doing it rong, by any means), maybe he'll come back to you on his own. And if he doesn't you have to know you've tried harder that most moms would have for sure!

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#81 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks everyone, for your kind words.

I have actually been "backing off a bit"-- : just haven't been offering as much. so hard to get rejected over and over and over....ykwim?

I'm not stressed out like I was. I am just pumping and occassionally offering. I'm no longer sitting around topless. honestly I am okay with how things are at the moment. I'm not resenting the pumping time *yet*.....when I start to, I know that I should quit.

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#82 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 05:43 PM
 
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at what point? just curious what all of your opinions are on this. I may be opening a can of worms with this, but I would like to know. And I know it's a very personal decision-- but WWYD if you were in my situation?
This is my first post on this thread, and I have to say I really, really admire you for all of your dedication in this situation.

My ds is nearly 15 months, and if I were in your situation I would keep doing what you're doing for as long as it's feasible. Keep pumping, keep offering ebm and offering the breast. I wouldn't totally give up topless snuggles or baths yet, but I wouldn't force things or get stressed.
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#83 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 06:54 PM
 
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thanks everyone, for your kind words.

I have actually been "backing off a bit"-- : just haven't been offering as much. so hard to get rejected over and over and over....ykwim?

I'm not stressed out like I was. I am just pumping and occassionally offering. I'm no longer sitting around topless. honestly I am okay with how things are at the moment. I'm not resenting the pumping time *yet*.....when I start to, I know that I should quit.
Just wanted to chime in...Please keep up with the updates, I have been lurking for awhile now

Since your EPing (for now, hopefully not forever) feel free to check out our tribe in Breastfeeding challenges. Their are all sorts reasons to EPump and sometimes it is nice to talk to others tied to the pump, especially through the hard, lonely pumping times.

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Nursed fly-by-nursing1.gifmy homebirth.jpg babe, dd2 (2008) until self weaned at 3yrsbouncy.gif. We survived a major nursing strike.

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#84 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 06:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks BakerALM-- I have been lurking on your thread too

I will come read more thoroughly, though-- I hadn't wanted to post b/c I wasn't really sure if I belonged. Although, with each day that passes I am less unsure about that :

I will keep y'all posted

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#85 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 07:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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p.s. your daughter is toooo cute. Lola was one of our names too-- until we had a boy

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So, you're saying that when a baby goes on a nursing strike we should not encourage him/her to go back to nursing, because humans eventually are supposed to drink from a cup? By that logic, why not start them on a cup at birth? My 2nd baby went on a nursing strike at 5 months old due to pacifier use. The poor kid would have starved himself if it was up to him because he prefered that stupid pacifier.

I understand that some nursing strikes do lead to weaning, regardless of mom's efforts to continue with nursing, and of course a mom shouldn't blame herself if that happens. At some point you let it go. But I don't understand why you have such a problem with a mother trying to encourage a baby to continue nursing.

No one is saying a baby should be forced to nurse--how would you do that anyway????
I don't have a problem with a mom "encouraging" a child to continue nursing. I have a problem with a mother denying food or liquid in an effort to manipulate a child into going back to the breast against their will. To me, that is like being a babytrainer and breaking their will to make them conform to some preconceived notion that we "think" they should nurse for so long. My second DS did not read the memo from WHO!

You can't compare a 5 month old and a 13 month old. A 5 month old is an infant. A 13 month old is a toddler. There's a world of difference in between. Like you said, your 5 month old stopped nursing because of something you were doing wrong (pacifier), a 13 month old can stop nursing because they simply don't want to anymore. That's what makes the difference. I just think you must be respectful to your child. We can't make them all be cookie cutter children.

Vanessa- I have 5 children and my youngest two are twins, so I've had a wide range of different experiences raising these children. HUGE!!!!! If you go on to have another one, your next one could easily nurse to 3 or 4. I had one that did. Each nursing relationship is as different as each child. This is why I feel so strongly about it. You're doing a great job and sorry your thread has been taken over!
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#87 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 07:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Vanessa- I have 5 children and my youngest two are twins, so I've had a wide range of different experiences raising these children. HUGE!!!!! If you go on to have another one, your next one could easily nurse to 3 or 4. I had one that did. Each nursing relationship is as different as each child. This is why I feel so strongly about it. You're doing a great job and sorry your thread has been taken over!
Thank you
Yes, I am counting on each one being soooo different. How could they not be? We do want more, and honestly this whole thing may just hasten it-- I am sure to get my cycles back now!! (I actually felt some funny twinges yesterday, from my long dormant cervix )

I am actually enjoying the banter, very interesting, indeed!

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Thanks BakerALM-- I have been lurking on your thread too

I will come read more thoroughly, though-- I hadn't wanted to post b/c I wasn't really sure if I belonged. Although, with each day that passes I am less unsure about that :
np, I remember those days when each day I hoped I could stop pumping. : But keep your spirt up, the boob is so much better than anything else and someday soon he will remember that!

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p.s. your daughter is toooo cute. Lola was one of our names too-- until we had a boy
Thanks, those smiles keep me going when she is still up all hours of the night. :

Mountain Biking bikenew.gifMama of 3 little beans, .      Epumped 1pump.gif 22mths for dd1 (2006) notes.gif
Nursed fly-by-nursing1.gifmy homebirth.jpg babe, dd2 (2008) until self weaned at 3yrsbouncy.gif. We survived a major nursing strike.

Awesome homebirth.jpg for Baby #3 who turned out to be a babygirl.gif (Aug 2013)!   

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#89 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 10:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lotsofkids View Post
You can't compare a 5 month old and a 13 month old. A 5 month old is an infant. A 13 month old is a toddler.
I know it is normal in this bottle-feeding culture to disregard the importance of nursing for toddlers, but many of us see the second year of nursing as just as important as the first.
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a 13 month old can stop nursing because they simply don't want to anymore.
I don't think that's true. I think that when a 13mo stops nursing there are always other reasons besides "they don't want to." A strike that begins because of teething, for example, might lead to a toddler not wanting to nurse anymore. At that point, all mom can do is try.
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I just think you must be respectful to your child. We can't make them all be cookie cutter children.
I agree that children are different and their needs and wants should be respected. I just don't think that encouraging breastfeeding with a toddler on a nursing strike is disrespectful. Some needs are universal. I am sure we all agree that all newborn humans want to nurse (we are mammals after all), and that doesn't make them all "cookie cutter" babies. Unfortunately, sometimes circumstances make nursing difficult. That can sometimes happen in the beginning and sometimes halfway through the nursing journey.
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#90 of 113 Old 02-19-2007, 11:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sunnysideup View Post
I know it is normal in this bottle-feeding culture to disregard the importance of nursing for toddlers, but many of us see the second year of nursing as just as important as the first. I don't think that's true. I think that when a 13mo stops nursing there are always other reasons besides "they don't want to." A strike that begins because of teething, for example, might lead to a toddler not wanting to nurse anymore. At that point, all mom can do is try. I agree that children are different and their needs and wants should be respected. I just don't think that encouraging breastfeeding with a toddler on a nursing strike is disrespectful. Some needs are universal. I am sure we all agree that all newborn humans want to nurse (we are mammals after all), and that doesn't make them all "cookie cutter" babies. Unfortunately, sometimes circumstances make nursing difficult. That can sometimes happen in the beginning and sometimes halfway through the nursing journey.
:

I'd been trying for days to say that and couldn't get it out. But yeah.

Toddlers nursing is just as important as babies nursing.

-Angela
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