Why are people so nosy?! - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-31-2007, 07:36 PM - Thread Starter
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I really love my sister-in-law to death. I really do. But she always feels if that she needs to tell me how to raise my kids. Like today when I was nursing Isaiah and Siobhan, she said,"Oh your STILL doing that?!" I replied,"Yes,because you would be surprised how much nutritional value nursing is pacted full of." She said,"Oh well I weaned DC both when they were 6 months old. You HAVE to wean them. When are you going to wean them?" I said,"When we feel that we are ready. Whenever they want to wean. Oh and also did you know that I am also nursing Aurora too?" She got bug eyed and left. : Some people are just so rude and nosy. :
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Old 06-01-2007, 12:22 AM - Thread Starter
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anyone else experience anything like this?
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Old 06-01-2007, 12:24 AM
 
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Yep, and not a relative! : But still a psycho...
Brush it off, she's just being a busybody.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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Old 06-01-2007, 12:29 AM - Thread Starter
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i guess so.
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Old 06-01-2007, 01:49 AM
 
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Goodness, what nerve????!!!! How nice of her to share her expert adcive. :

I've gotten comments about needing to wean but the family members are well aware that I am not interested in their advice about certain things so I just ignore them.

I'm Deborah, mama to Aidan, 11/02, Sean, 9/04 (my T21 SuperBoy), and Eleanor, 8/08.
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Old 06-03-2007, 05:08 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Ivana&4Kids View Post
I really love my sister-in-law to death. I really do. But she always feels if that she needs to tell me how to raise my kids. Like today when I was nursing Isaiah and Siobhan, she said,"Oh your STILL doing that?!" I replied,"Yes,because you would be surprised how much nutritional value nursing is pacted full of." She said,"Oh well I weaned DC both when they were 6 months old. You HAVE to wean them. When are you going to wean them?" I said,"When we feel that we are ready. Whenever they want to wean. Oh and also did you know that I am also nursing Aurora too?" She got bug eyed and left. : Some people are just so rude and nosy. :
So.... Did you have to pay for that consultation?

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Old 06-03-2007, 12:43 PM
 
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So.... Did you have to pay for that consultation?

lol. Why ARE people so nosy? Maybe your amazing commitment to nursing your babies has her feeling guilty that she took that goodness away from her babes so young? I dunno... just a thought.
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Old 06-04-2007, 06:40 AM
 
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I just tell people I'm sure my kids won't be nursing when they leave for college.
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Old 06-04-2007, 09:43 AM
 
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I agree with molly, she may feel bad or just not understand ebf. The only comments I had were from my family too mainly, and I found it was due to them not knowing about ebf facts. When ds was approaching 1, my fil commented that he needed to stop nursing soon. We informed him nicely of the facts and never heard anything again. Not even at Christmas when he was 20m, though I think they might have said something to other family and not to us. More of a "are they still nursing & why" thing. My sister did give me some flap when I got preg and kept nursing, but she didn't understand either that it was safe. I think everyone's come to the conclusion that dh just married some crazy lady that didn't really show until baby was born.
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Old 06-04-2007, 02:07 PM
 
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Oh yeah,: I really don't even say anything to anyone anymore. Some of those who know think the only reason I still Bf is because I want to be in control of my ds: whatever.

It is really not anyone else's business. Their judgement is their ignorance. I try to give some basic info but If I do not feel I'm 'heard' I don't even waste my breath.
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Old 06-04-2007, 04:57 PM
 
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I still am very surprised by how many moms I've met since being a mom who have weaned at 6 mths. I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with nursing after that - I just don't get it. :
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Old 06-04-2007, 09:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ivana&4Kids View Post
anyone else experience anything like this?
All the time!
Being a pretty nosy person myself : I don't really mind people asking out of genuine curiosity, but its a totally different thing when they actually try to tell me what to do with my kids.

Homeschooling mom of 2 rambunctious, loving, spectacular boys, wife to an incredible man who has been my best friend on this journey <3

 

 

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Old 06-05-2007, 04:11 AM
 
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yes, my in-laws drive me crazy with their suggestions on how to raise my daughter. At first I thought I was just being protective and overreacting...but then I went around my husbands paternal side of the family I noticed that they asked the same questions but were nowhere near as offensive. They just asked questions about nursing or her excema and where just like "oh" and the conversation moved on. It wasn't like they started saying "You need to wean her or you need to give her something for her skin, it's horrible!".

When we marry we marry the in-laws too.:
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Old 06-05-2007, 05:37 AM
 
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good for you! i haven't gotten there yet but people are already asking when i will wean ds ,he's only 4mo, i say when he is ready...imagine what they will say when hes older...*sigh*
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Old 06-05-2007, 06:09 AM
 
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When I was in my twenties and childless, I was one of those people who asked my friend why on earth she was still nursing her 3-year old. She told me that most children in the world nurse until they are 3 or 4 and that our western style of weaning babies is really not what nature intended. She smiled the whole time while responding. I am far more open-minded now, in part because of her.

Just keep on happily doing what you want to do and informing people when they inquire.

Roman Goddess, mom to J (August 2004) and J (April 2009).    h20homebirth.gif signcirc1.gif
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Old 06-05-2007, 06:29 AM
 
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My husband's SIL's mom (got that? ) was totally aghast when she found out I was still nursing dd, and while PREGNANT too! She just kept saying that she would never have gotten a doctor to approve her for that: . And then wanted to know how I was planning on weaning when the baby was born. I was like, "Um, I'm not." Then she just sort of stuttered and repeated the thing about doctor approval. In my head I just kept thinking "That would be why I don't ask doctor's opinions on how to raise my children." Out loud I just said that current research showed that extended nursing, nursing while pregnant and tandem nursing was perfectly fine and healthy and had many benefits. I also threw in there that I had discussed it with my care provider (my homebirth midwife) and she felt it was a great idea. I smiled while I said it and tried to be very non defensive and it really kind of shut her down. What else could she say?

Her daughter just keeps asking me if I'm eating well enough whenever she sees me nursing dd, and then says "But I know you are, because you are really up on stuff like that." Which is a long way to come for the woman who screamed and yelled and told us what we were planning was criminal when we told her we were having dd at home.

, , , and
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Old 06-05-2007, 06:58 PM
 
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Yep, I hear stuff like that too, especially now as DS gets older (he's 4.5). I don't bring it up, but if someone asks, I mention that it works for us, and there is no way that a human child getting human milk is being harmed, especially since my kid is kind of a picky eater and only drinks water besides his mama milk.

Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
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