This made me cry - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 76 Old 05-31-2007, 11:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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http://www.brainchildmag.com/essays/..._christman.asp

It's such a sad article, and really, only someone who believes in CLW-ing would understand why I am still . I kept waiting for the happy ending.

nothing more to say I guess :
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#2 of 76 Old 05-31-2007, 11:45 PM
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awwwwwwww
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#3 of 76 Old 05-31-2007, 11:46 PM
 
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Oh man...
I kept waiting to read that she let her nurse again. How sad. :
It just strengthens my resolve to be 100% commited to letting Avery self-wean.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#4 of 76 Old 05-31-2007, 11:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OT, but I see by your sig that you are as big a Wonder Pets fan as I am

DD loves that show. I try to escape, but I get detailed reports.

nothing more to say I guess :
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#5 of 76 Old 06-01-2007, 12:03 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calidris View Post
OT, but I see by your sig that you are as big a Wonder Pets fan as I am

DD loves that show. I try to escape, but I get detailed reports.
"What's gunn'a work?..."

Come on, I KNOW you know! :

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#6 of 76 Old 06-01-2007, 12:06 AM
 
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OMG! I read that about a month ago and it made me too sad to even want to come post or talk about it. So sad.
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#7 of 76 Old 06-01-2007, 12:09 AM
 
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Cold turkey. Not even a warning. So harsh. That poor baby. :

And I just love how she lets her husband make the rules about her breastfeeding relationship.
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#8 of 76 Old 06-01-2007, 12:14 AM
 
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yeah, it seems like the author would have not stopped nursing, if not for the husband's insistence. i don't like that the man was telling her what to do, and she was obeying him, against what both she and the daughter wanted. quoting from the article, post-weaning:
<i>I had nothing to offer her that was mine and mine alone to give. </i>
the breastmilk/the nursing is between the mother and the child. why on earth is the man's opinion prevailing?

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#9 of 76 Old 06-01-2007, 12:19 AM
 
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:

 

 

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#10 of 76 Old 06-01-2007, 12:22 AM
 
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That is so incredibly wrong. : That poor little girl. What I don't understand is WHY she chose to stop nursing her DD? Maybe I missed something in the story? Because the mom really sounded like she WANTED to keep nursing, but she chose not to. Every fiber in her being was telling her to, but she ignored that, and her DD had to suffer for it.

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#11 of 76 Old 06-01-2007, 12:41 AM
 
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very sad. I can't imagine weaning like that.

I'm Deborah, mama to Aidan, 11/02, Sean, 9/04 (my T21 SuperBoy), and Eleanor, 8/08.
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#12 of 76 Old 06-01-2007, 11:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natural Mommy*J View Post
That is so incredibly wrong. : That poor little girl. What I don't understand is WHY she chose to stop nursing her DD?
maybe because at 2 she was way past the time for it anyway :

That was why I had to post it here, most places people would be amazed that she had nursed for 2 years.

nothing more to say I guess :
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#13 of 76 Old 06-01-2007, 02:47 PM
 
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"We held back from each other, doing a kind of dance to avoid physical closeness that might remind us of what we once shared."

That didn't make me cry, that made me sob! How incredibly sad...

Happy mama to DD 04 and 08 April 2011
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#14 of 76 Old 06-02-2007, 12:11 AM
 
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I don't even know what to say about that article. I'm admittedly not a big proponent of longer extended nursing, like past age 3 or more, but to deliberately wean a child who is obviously not ready, when mom isn't either, well, what the hell is the point or logic in that?
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#15 of 76 Old 06-02-2007, 12:22 AM
 
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OMG that is the saddest d**n thing. I am crying too! Just makes me hope the day my last one weans himself is far, far away. I will miss those beautiful, close, precious, fleeting moments all too much. I miss them with his sissy. She is much too old to remember alot about nursing but I remember... They are only little for such a small piece of their huge lives. Why do some feel they have to shove them into the real world?!?! UGGHH...........:
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#16 of 76 Old 06-02-2007, 12:42 AM
 
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That actually did really bother me, and I wasn't sure if it would. I couldn't read it all.

It seems like the only time I ever read an article from that magazine is when it is something I take issue with.
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#17 of 76 Old 06-02-2007, 02:18 AM
 
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That is heartbreaking! : My dd is just past two, the same age as the girl in the story and the whole story just hit so close to home. I just can't really imagine not nursing her. I didn't nurse my first one (I tried and failed, ep'd for six months, but she had bad oral motor problems). So I guess I can imagine not nursing a two yr old, but not nursing my chil who has been nursing and who WANTS to nurse. The whole, "I want Something, " is just heart rending and hauntingly sad. I really wish I knew why she felt she had to stop.
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#18 of 76 Old 06-02-2007, 03:03 AM
 
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That is so terribly sad! I wonder if the mom realizes it didn't have to be that way - that she didn't have to do that?? :

I've three friends who've bf'd beyond a year now, after weaning before/at a year with their first bf'd babes - because of my example/gentle encouragement (they hadn't realized it was "ok" to go past a year the first time around). I know there are plenty of people who think that weaning has to look much like this, whether babe is 6 months, nine months, or 3 years of age .... and have no clue about CLW.

I wasn't able to make CLW work with Ina (pregnant with SJ, we intended CLW and tandem but I just became irrationally angry when Ina latched on, it was awful, we ended up doing gentle MLW instead) - and I felt the same emotions as the author of the article. The difference was, I really feel/felt that what we were doing would be best for Ina and me in the end - it was affecting our relationship all day long, not just while nursing, it was awful and I didn't want Ina to remember nursing the way I was feeling/acting during that time.

I do know Ina remembers nursing, and has positive memories (which really worried me given how I felt the last three months or so) - but I really hope that with SJ, we're able to just CLW; I guess it will depend on how pregnancy goes if we get pregnant while she is nursing.

Not all who wander are lost.
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#19 of 76 Old 06-02-2007, 03:24 AM
 
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Poor baby, and Mommy...she really didn't sound like she wanted it to end that way! :
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#20 of 76 Old 06-02-2007, 04:31 AM
 
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: oh my lord that may be the saddest thing i have read in a while....thanks again to mdc for letting me know it is ok to CLW thanks for everyone being so supportive to all others
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#21 of 76 Old 06-02-2007, 05:58 PM
 
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nak
well, all i can say is i'm glad i popped in here and thanks for posting that.
my ds1 is 2 and i have been forcing weaning on him (slowly, but still...). that article just reminded me that he still needs me and i don't want it to end that way.
anika

Mama to Finn (04/05) Arlo (04/07) and Henry (04/10)
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#22 of 76 Old 06-02-2007, 07:23 PM
 
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how sad. I also can't understand why she weaned if neither she nor her dd wanted to. My dd is just about 2.5 and I can't imagine weaning her and the older she gets the more I appreciate nursing and try to drink in every moment of it because I know the day will come when she will be done, but I am determined it will be on her terms.
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#23 of 76 Old 06-02-2007, 09:31 PM
 
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yea..i remember crying and being really angry when i read it too. i just got my new one (brain, child), i'll have to look and see if anyone wrote a response letter about it.

~helen~ mama to 5 yo twins jonas and micah and my 2 yo baby boy eli
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#24 of 76 Old 06-02-2007, 11:45 PM
 
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Sadly there was no response letter published.I too felt REALLY upset -angry-sad & outraged as I felt method of weaning was harsh and cruel & prob quite confusing & distressing for Ella...: I felt as though Ella at two in the circumstances described deserved some say or at least a "heads up" @ such a change in their two person relationship...
I'm being summoned -perhaps I should have submitted a response -or reaction.I'd definately be interested in a follow-up..altho not likely to happen
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#25 of 76 Old 06-03-2007, 12:37 AM
 
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That is soooo sad. What the hell was that father trying to prove: , I feel bad for the little girl and the mama

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#26 of 76 Old 06-03-2007, 03:50 AM
 
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That so sad. I kept wondering why if mom didn't want to and the child didn't want, why were they weaning?

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#27 of 76 Old 06-03-2007, 03:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rmzbm View Post
"What's gunn'a work?..."

Come on, I KNOW you know! :
Team work. Cause we're not too big and we're not too tough, but when we work together we've got the right stuff. Go Wonder pets!

I thought that show was cute the first couple of times, not so much anymore.

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#28 of 76 Old 06-03-2007, 04:19 AM
 
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Wow. That affected me a lot more than I thought it would. My DS is 2.75 and is definitely not ready to wean yet, I can only imagine how confused he would be if I did that. That's definitely not the right choice for us.

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#29 of 76 Old 06-03-2007, 09:32 AM
 
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That was just horrible. Even though I'm committed to CLW for me and my children, I generally have a live and let live attitude towards what other people choose to do in terms of weaning so I didn't expect that article to affect me. But it did.: I'm glad dd just woke up and wanted to nurse, I needed that kind of cuddle.
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#30 of 76 Old 06-03-2007, 09:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Tinker View Post
Team work. Cause we're not too big and we're not too tough, but when we work together we've got the right stuff. Go Wonder pets!
I really wish they would make some new episodes, because while I LIKE the show (I think the concept of musical theatre for children is genius), I'm getting very tired of the same episodes over and over and over....
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