S/O: How early is it CLW? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: How young can a child CLW?
It's possible under 12 months. 16 8.08%
12 - 18 months 32 16.16%
19 - 24 months 70 35.35%
2 - 2.5 years 48 24.24%
2.5 - 3 years 19 9.60%
3 - 4 years 7 3.54%
4 years + 5 2.53%
Gotta be an "other" lol 1 0.51%
Voters: 198. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-08-2007, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just curious what people think is the youngest age a child can have true child led weaning. I'm assuming mom is not pregnant, breast is offered, etc.

Poll coming...

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Old 08-11-2007, 06:00 PM
 
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i think it's possible that the child would choose to wean in the second half of the second year, but probably not before that. there are always exceptions, i guess. and even 19-24 mo. is probably on the young side of what's possible.

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Old 08-11-2007, 10:54 PM
 
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My son self weaned at 11.5 months. Before he did I probably would have voted not possible under 12 months but I did everything I could. It was not a strike, either.
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Old 08-13-2007, 12:39 AM
 
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I said 12-18, but I wonder if those kids who *seem* to be CLW that young have actually been prompted to by having nursing strictly limited until then.
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Old 08-13-2007, 12:46 AM
 
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I'd say that a baby who is about a year and half *might* CLW. I don't think it's usual, but i do think it's in the realm of possible.

Under 18 or so mos? Never saw it. All the babes I know who 'weaned' as baby-babies had many events in their lives that facilitated this CL 'weaning'. If my witness to CLW were different wrt to baby-baby weaning, I might feel differenty.

I know someone who told me, in all seriousness, that her baby 'weaned himself' at 7 mos. One day, she says, he looked at the breast 'in a funny way' and simply refused it.

Would he had weaned had he not been getting 3 meals, 2 snacks and 4 bottles (in 24 hours) a day, with 'great encouragement' to sleep through the night? He did wean, and maybe it was 'painless' weaning, but it certaily was not CLW.
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Old 08-13-2007, 01:53 AM
 
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Thanks for this thread!! I've always felt like I was going to go insane when I hear people say their babies weaned on their at 9 months or so (and then act all sad as if they tried everything to prevent it). Glad to hear I'm not nuts! LOL

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Old 08-13-2007, 03:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by readytobedone View Post
i think it's possible that the child would choose to wean in the second half of the second year, but probably not before that. there are always exceptions, i guess. and even 19-24 mo. is probably on the young side of what's possible.
:

Whenever I hear of a child under a year weaning, I think there has to be more to the story. Was nursing limited in some way prior to this? Were other forms of food, liquids, and sucking given too readily? Was the mom pg (or dealing with other medical issues that might affect milk supply?) Were mom and babe co-sleeping with the breast offered frequently at night?

I'm not saying it's "wrong" or "bad" if a baby stops nursing before a year old- just that IMO it's not a true child-led weaning unless the mom was pg or there were other milk supply issues going on.

My Mom insists that I self-weaned at 11mo, the day I took my first steps, and I didn't like to sit in one place and nurse when I could take my bottle with me. Hey, in 1973 not much was known about nursing strikes or avoiding bottles for BF toddlers. I was also sleeping through the night in my crib in my own room at that point. Looking back on it as an adult, I would call that a gentle mother-led weaning and/or taking advantage of a nursing strike as a chance to wean.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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Old 08-15-2007, 01:17 AM
 
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Well, thus far, we are experiencing a CLW at around 20 months, which is not to say there haven't been things that have influenced it...a pacifier that we introduced because we didn't know any better at the time, pregnancy and a reduced milk supply, and night weaning which we encouraged because I became pregnant. Do I think she would have weaned if I hadn't gotten pregnant? No, I don't. I know she would still be nursing at night. I guess its hard to know what a true definition of CLW is, because I am still encouraging nursing even though its not happening (not a lot, but just tonight I tried a sleepy nursing and it didn't happen). She just doesn't seem to want it and/or prefers her pacifier. So yeah, the pacifier is playing a big part of it. But I can't gently remove the pacifier, so I'm torn between CLW from the pacifier too.

I voted 19-24 months, because I think its probably possible, but in general, I think kids will and need to nurse much longer.
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Old 08-15-2007, 08:21 PM
 
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Thanks for posting this poll. I was stunned at the other thread (what age did your child CLW?) where so many people had voted under 2 years. It was my understanding that refusal to nurse prior to 2 years of age was a strike and should be treated as such. I'm wholly convinced that babies NEED breastmilk until they are 2. Yes, they manage without in our country b/c of medicine, hygiene, etc., but I do believe they are at increased risk for illness.

It seems the tides are teeming with mainstreamers at MDC these days. It's not a bad thing. I think MDC is taking on the mainstream, educating, and turning the tides. However, I do think it means that polls and posts around here are skewed now to reflect a different mentality, forunately a changing one.

I voted 2.5-3 years, but I think true CLW is possible any time after the age of 2. I just don't think it's likely if the child has had full access to nursing without any restrictions. That's uncommon in our culture though, where the vast majority of kids are either in cribs and/or nightweaned prior to 2 years (even here at MDC, nightweaning seems fairly common).

I'm not trying to offend anyone and I may have to eat my words - I can already see that my ds has a totally different personality at only 4 mos. My dd, OTOH, comfort nursed a lot, never self-soothed, and didn't nightwean herself until the age of 3. Who knows with him? He's already pushing the breast away in favor of his thumb after nursing!
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Old 08-15-2007, 08:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by readytobedone View Post
i think it's possible that the child would choose to wean in the second half of the second year, but probably not before that. there are always exceptions, i guess. and even 19-24 mo. is probably on the young side of what's possible.
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-Angela
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Old 08-15-2007, 09:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by readytobedone View Post
i think it's possible that the child would choose to wean in the second half of the second year, but probably not before that. there are always exceptions, i guess. and even 19-24 mo. is probably on the young side of what's possible.
:
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:35 AM
 
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one of my close friends (and a mom role model to me) nursed 2 of her children to 4.5 years, through nursing strikes and everything else. her first self-weaned at 6 months. i asked her in detail about it (whether she thought it was really weaning in retrospect or a strike), and she said definitely weaning. so, it does happen!
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Old 08-17-2007, 02:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by majormajor View Post
one of my close friends (and a mom role model to me) nursed 2 of her children to 4.5 years, through nursing strikes and everything else. her first self-weaned at 6 months. i asked her in detail about it (whether she thought it was really weaning in retrospect or a strike), and she said definitely weaning. so, it does happen!
No way. At 6 months formula would be a must. No way a 6 mo old can self wean.

sorry!

-Angela
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Old 08-17-2007, 03:29 AM
 
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I dunno, but I marked 2 to 2.5 because I think that is closer to what I think than 19 months to 2 years.

Is it technically considered CLW if the mom is pregnant and puts limits such as nursing until the count of 10? Sometimes I'm just totally touched out and can't stand the thought of nursing...I don't deny her, but I will set a time limit and sometimes if it seems like she just really needs more time, I'll give her more time. I don't want to tell folks I'm CLWing if that isn't true CLW, though, KWIM?
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:47 PM
 
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I dunno, but I marked 2 to 2.5 because I think that is closer to what I think than 19 months to 2 years.

Is it technically considered CLW if the mom is pregnant and puts limits such as nursing until the count of 10? Sometimes I'm just totally touched out and can't stand the thought of nursing...I don't deny her, but I will set a time limit and sometimes if it seems like she just really needs more time, I'll give her more time. I don't want to tell folks I'm CLWing if that isn't true CLW, though, KWIM?
IMO I wouldn't call it CLW. I would call it perfectly normal though

-Angela
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Old 08-17-2007, 01:00 PM
 
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I voted 2-2.5 years, I think that must be the earliest a child would wean.
My DD weaned at 23 months, that´s when my ds was born. It was a complicated birth 7 weeks early. She would have never weaned at that time if it wasn´t for the birth.
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Old 08-17-2007, 02:21 PM
 
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I voted 2-2.5 years, I think that must be the earliest a child would wean.
I agree. I really think with true child-led weaning the youngest would be around the 2nd birthday with the average being much later than that though.

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Old 08-17-2007, 03:07 PM
 
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I agree. I really think with true child-led weaning the youngest would be around the 2nd birthday with the average being much later than that though.
Yes, I think actually weaning at two is pretty rare. All the children I know who CLWed was over 4.
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Old 08-19-2007, 03:19 PM
 
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No way. At 6 months formula would be a must. No way a 6 mo old can self wean.

sorry!

-Angela
why can't a 6 month old self-wean?
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Old 08-19-2007, 04:22 PM
 
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why can't a 6 month old self-wean?
Because at 6 months it is not possible to be adequately nourished by solids. Simply not possible. They would HAVE to have formula, most likely in bottles.

It is frankly absurd to say that a baby self weaned to formula and bottles.

-Angela
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Old 08-19-2007, 04:42 PM
 
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i still don't get it. what's the difference if a babe weans himself from the breast to a bottle of formula vs. to a sippy of cow's milk and a sandwich? no doubt, a 6 month old can't be physiologically ready to give up milk... is that what you mean? but if they do anyway, then what do you call it?
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Old 08-19-2007, 04:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by readytobedone View Post
i think it's possible that the child would choose to wean in the second half of the second year, but probably not before that. there are always exceptions, i guess. and even 19-24 mo. is probably on the young side of what's possible.
I agree. I always get confused when a person says their baby self weaned before a year. I think to myself, "How is that possible? What were they eating or drinking if they weren't nursing?" What I mean is a baby who does not nurse at say 9 or 10 months has to be getting it's nutrition somewhere right? Solids and water? Formula? What? But all of that, and enough of those alternatives at such a young age will deter from nursing, so I don't really see it as CLW, I see it as a mother who gave alternatives instead. Which I'm not judging, many moms have to do so because of work schedules and inability to pump etc... But still, I wouldn't call it CLW.
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Old 08-19-2007, 04:58 PM
 
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i still don't get it. what's the difference if a babe weans himself from the breast to a bottle of formula vs. to a sippy of cow's milk and a sandwich? no doubt, a 6 month old can't be physiologically ready to give up milk... is that what you mean? but if they do anyway, then what do you call it?
Mom is initiating weaning by offering that bottle and formula.

I call it a nursing strike.

-Angela
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Old 08-19-2007, 05:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by majormajor View Post
i still don't get it. what's the difference if a babe weans himself from the breast to a bottle of formula vs. to a sippy of cow's milk and a sandwich? no doubt, a 6 month old can't be physiologically ready to give up milk... is that what you mean? but if they do anyway, then what do you call it?
CLW isn't about "weaning to" anything. It's about nursing until the child outgrows the need to suck.

My son was eating a lot of foods, and drinking from regular cups, long before he weaned. He probably didn't get more than a few ounces of my milk a day the last few months he was nursing- by that time nursing was much more about the emotional connection and much less about the milk. He wasn't using bottles or sippy cups or anything else he needed to suck on.

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Old 08-19-2007, 06:09 PM
 
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CLW isn't about "weaning to" anything. It's about nursing until the child outgrows the need to suck.
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That too. Good point.

-Angela
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Old 08-20-2007, 01:53 PM
 
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i still don't get it. what's the difference if a babe weans himself from the breast to a bottle of formula vs. to a sippy of cow's milk and a sandwich? no doubt, a 6 month old can't be physiologically ready to give up milk... is that what you mean? but if they do anyway, then what do you call it?
True child led weaning means nursing until the child outgrows the need. When a child stops nursing before they have outgrown the need, there is always a reason--pacifiers, bottles, drop in supply due to pregnancy, overfeeding of solids and/or other milk, etc. If there is a reason for the weaning it is not true child led weaning--the weaning was not initiated by the child.

Sometimes people interpret these conversations as being about blaming the mother--that's not my intention (CLW is not for everyone, and that's ok). When misinformation about breastfeeding is spread it can effect other breastfeeding relationships. If a mom has heard that 6mo babies sometimes wean on their own, that mom might dismiss a nursing strike as CLW, and end the nursing relationship before her baby is ready.
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Old 08-20-2007, 02:01 PM
 
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So, do true CLW'ers never set limits?

And, I am not asking this relative to my own situation, because dd is still sucking a pacifier, but she has stopped nursing as a result of colostrum, so indeeds its not true CLW. But, my question is...if a mother is pregnant and the child chooses not to nurse, and has not sucking substitutes, then why is it not CLW? I mean, if they needed to suck, wouldn't they suck even though mom is dry (and only 20% of mothers actually "dry up", according to ADVENTURES IN TANDEM NURSING)? I mean, dd sucks a pacifier, and nothing comes out of it, right? So, imo, at least until you all convince me otherwise , weaning in pregnancy as a result of decreased milk, with no other sucking subs, is still CLW.

Also, I am ita that a child under 2 will not generally self-wean. I just don't know of any less than 2 yos who don't still need to suck.
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Old 08-20-2007, 02:13 PM
 
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So, do true CLW'ers never set limits?
I don't think there's anything wrong with setting limits, within reason.
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So, imo, at least until you all convince me otherwise , weaning in pregnancy as a result of decreased milk, with no other sucking subs, is still CLW.
It is my understanding that when weaning is initiated by a drop in supply due to pregnancy, it is not true CLW. True CLW is initiated by the child.

Of course, that doesn't make it "wrong." Child led weaning doesn't work out for everyone.
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Old 08-20-2007, 03:04 PM
 
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I don't think there's anything wrong with setting limits, within reason. It is my understanding that when weaning is initiated by a drop in supply due to pregnancy, it is not true CLW. True CLW is initiated by the child.

Of course, that doesn't make it "wrong." Child led weaning doesn't work out for everyone.
Yeah, but...(and I'm arguing for the sake of arguing), it is initiated by the child, if mom is still allowing for nursing. The child is choosing not to nurse because there is no milk. Pacifiers don't produce milk, but they interfere with nursing. As I said, just philosophising (is that even a word?).
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Old 08-20-2007, 03:06 PM
 
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I would tend to agree that kids under 2 are unlikely to CLW, I do see it as a physiological need before that point.

It's certainly still a need for my DS, who is almost 27 mos now - I got pg about 3 mos before his 2nd bday and he has continued to nurse at the same rate (sometimes more frequently!) since, including during the past 2 mos. of this pregnancy when I have not been able to hand-express a single drop of milk. I imagine it's b/c he doesn't get his sucking needs met by any other source (even as an infant, he never took an interest in a paci, and stopped even taking ebf in a bottle by the time he was 11 mos old - the "peer pressure" of all the older kiddos drinking from sippy cups at daycare was just too much for him! ).

DS has plenty of limits set on him as well - he's at daycare f/t so obviously no nursing during weekdays (and that's been in place since he was 6mos old), I nightweaned him right around his 2nd b/day due to the pg (tried several months earlier but it didn't "stick"), and occasionally refuse him entirely if he's been asking to nurse frequently but my boobs are just too sore to take any more! And the kid has always eaten solid foods like they're going out of style. So I really think it must be the need to suck that affects duration of nursing, not whether or not there are limits (or in this case, even whether or not there is milk!)

ETA: My feeling about setting limits is that although the limits are parent-led, the actual duration of nursing is still child-led.
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