No one can offer advice?? Please - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 08-11-2007, 12:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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at least a run down of how it happend. You all know I've posted alot about my dd not nursing. Well I thought she was weaning around the 15 month mark and I kept offering, and she continued and even starting asking for it around 18 months. Well now at 24 months she will refuse when I offer and she won't take it before/after naps or before bed. She will sometimes after naps and SOMETIMES in the morning if I catch her before she crawls outof bed. She also has started getting up in the night time to nurse. It's hard on me but I'm glad she's still nursing at least then.
I asked wywd a while back and I'm just stuck. I don't know what to do Or if she TRULY is weaning. She's VERY independant and I feel like I've gone overand beyond what I can do to get her to the breast. I LOVE nursing and it makes me cry to think of not nursing, but I kinda feel like it is her.
I guess I want to know what others have done in this situation.

Did your older nursing children go through this at this age? I've READ everything about self weaning and she does have many of the signs of it, but I think she is still young however nothing I do is helping, kwim? I'm not one of thosemoms that says oh she doesn't want it so she self weaned, I TRULY wanna do EVERYTHING I can do to keep this relationship going with out making it a me thing, kwim?

One site I "think" kellymom had a section on self weaning early and it said that if they:
Sucked a thumb or fingers_ She sucks her first two fingers I didn't do it she figured it out and NEVER stopped, she wouldn't take a paci and wouldn't comfort nurse even from the get go.
Had a blankie or dolly: She has a blankie that she carries EVERYWHERE I know big problems later but can't help it. LOL
And a couple of other things I can't remember anyway she met all of them so it just feels like I've lost and she's going to wean. What do you think??

Thanks girls I just really wanna know I've done all I can to keep her nursignas I thinks it's theBEST for Toddlers too. She's NEVER been sick even when dh and I have been BAD sick : and throwing up she's NEVER done it!! I really account that to BFing.
Thanks!
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#2 of 17 Old 08-13-2007, 06:02 PM
 
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My son has always been a great nurser but there have been times when he nurses less or more often. I dont have much advice except the old saying, keep offering and follow your child's lead. Just let her know that she can nurse if she wants.
Every child weans at there own time, and it may be she is ready to wean or it just may be that she is too busy now and a week or a month from now she may want to nurse again.
Either way it sounds like you are doing a awesome job mama!
I hope that helps. Hugs to you!
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#3 of 17 Old 08-13-2007, 06:08 PM
 
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My situation is a little different. I'm tandem nursing a 1 and 3 year old. I've also got a minor supply issue as a Working and Pumping mom now that DD2 seems to be reverse cycling and DD1 has gotten needier (possibly due to toilet training).

So, I have no BTDT advice for you but I noticed no one had responded and I at least wanted to offer you some moral support. I have seen lots of advice on coaxing baby back but I'm inferring that you've tried some of that already (trying when DC is tired, etc.) This might sound off the wall but I have heard that taking a bath with DC can create a conducive environment.

I posted my situation on Friday and as of the last time I checked no one had replied, so I know how that feels. I hope you see some increased nursing soon.
~Cath

ETA
I see that Doriansmummy replied while I was typing.
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#4 of 17 Old 08-13-2007, 06:15 PM
 
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No real advice. Dd never did anything of the sort.

-Angela
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#5 of 17 Old 08-14-2007, 11:27 AM
 
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Are you co-sleeping? Sometimes, kids that are too busy or distracted to nurse during the day will make up for it at night if mom is nearby.
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#6 of 17 Old 08-14-2007, 01:34 PM
 
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Well, my dd is a bit younger, but I'm feeling exactly like you are. I did some things when she was young that have probably contributed, but I just didn't know any better, I can't take them back, and I don't know how to undo it. The biggest is the pacifier. She had a very high desire to suck, was sucking her thumb when she was born and continued to do so until we gave her a pacifier at the suggestion of a nurse who said it was easier to take away than a pacifier : . Well, whatever. Anyway, I'm pregnant and my supply has been low, but that didn't seem to bother her until the colostrum came in and she has a very strong dislike for it. So, here we are, 3 days from our last nursing, and I continue to offer, but even when sleepy she refuses and wants her binker or a drink of milk...not the breast.

I have no idea what to do either. I think she should still be nursing even though everyone in my "real" life says she should have been done long ago. I am unsure what to think...she is very independent as well. And, I hadn't heard that about the blankie, but we always nursed with the same blankie and now she is very attached to it. I would love to read more about that if you can remember where you read it.

Anyway...sorry I'm not a bigger help! Just in the same boat!
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#7 of 17 Old 08-14-2007, 02:24 PM
 
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Dd went through a brief period at around 2 or slightly over where she might nurse a little as we got ready to sleep and then would insist on being in her crib, where she would quickly fall asleep on her own. Now it comes and goes--she wants more on some days than on others; sometimes she wants to nurse to sleep and sometimes she doesn't. I'm learning to go with the flow. And I couldn't give you numbers of times she nurses, because I just don't keep track.

The thing about CLW is that it is child led. So if your healthy, independent 2 year old is starting to taper off, there's not a lot you can do about it, other than continuing to offer for as long as it seems she might go for it, even if it does make you really sad.

All I can say is that in my experience, the process may well take a long time, particularly if she's still nursing at night. When my dd started the "I want to be in my crib" thing, I would have sworn she was going to wean. But here we are on the downslope to three and she shows no signs of giving up "ana" completely, at least not anytime soon.

Mom of two girls.
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#8 of 17 Old 08-14-2007, 05:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you guys soo much!! I do feel like it's her and there's nothing I can do other than offer. I have tried bathing with her, it helped tons when she was younger and now she just wants to PLAY! LOL I don't co sleep with her BUT she starts in her bed and at her first peep, I'm a VERY VERY light sleeper, she comes to our bed and stays. She DOES nurse during the night. And she is at the stage when she doesn't always want to nurse before bed or even before/after naps. Some days she will and others she won't. I guess like pp said I'll just have to hang in there and go with the flow. I would LOVE to make it longer and I hope that she'll continue but she just doesn't seem to be "that" into nursing. Funny mommys who'd love to make it longer have babies who could care less and the ones' who need/want to quit have babies completly attached. LOL Thank you all soo much for your kind words and wisdom.

As for the blanke, I read that I SWEAR from an article that was in kellymom.com but I can't be for sure. It wasn't something from THERE it was a link from there to the article, kwim? I will try looking for it. My SIL just had a baby yesterday so I've been at the hospital for the past two days and I've not had a chance.

Keep offering is my advice, especially when they're sleepy. My dd really did seem to be weaning around the 12-15 month mark She would sleep withuout nursing and would refuse but she started up again GREAT and I love it. That was the point in this thread to see if others experieced that type of strike this late in the game. KWIM?
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#9 of 17 Old 08-14-2007, 06:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by claras_mom View Post
The thing about CLW is that it is child led.
I don't think there's any confusion about that

These questions come up, not because a mother wants her child to continue nursing against the child's will, but because when a younger child starts weaning, mom worries that maybe she's inadvertently done something to trigger it.
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#10 of 17 Old 08-14-2007, 10:06 PM
 
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I think that sometimes you have to state the obvious, that's all. It is my belief that mothers--and I certainly include myself in the upcoming large generalization!--can be too ready to take the blame for all kinds of things having to do with our children's personality and development. We worry a lot about things that, past a certain point, are basically out of our control. No offense intended, and I hope none taken.

Quote:
These questions come up, not because a mother wants her child to continue nursing against the child's will, but because when a younger child starts weaning, mom worries that maybe she's inadvertently done something to trigger it.

Mom of two girls.
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#11 of 17 Old 08-14-2007, 11:15 PM
 
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I don't know--I guess it seems sort of obvious to me. If she doesn't want to nurse, why try to get her to do it? "Child-led" is the whole point.
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#12 of 17 Old 08-15-2007, 03:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I understand that BUT there are LOTS of babies that don't THINK to nurse earlier Before 12 months especially, that NEED to nurse or still have the urge but forget at certain times. I haven't ever nursed a toddler so I just wanted to see if it's normal to go through a down time and then WANT to nurse again or if it's something she is TrULY going through, kwim? Not a strike or whatever.

I don't blame myself actually because I feel I have RESEARCHED, and TRIED EVERYTHING I know how to do to help her KNOW that she CAN nurse and remind her regularly. I just didn't know if I should be pumping to keep my supply up during this time so that it doesn't further deter our nursing relationship by me not making enough milk due to her not nursing as much. KWIM? Thanks girls!I know when she was going through the rough ages of 12-15 months I thought FOR SURE she was weaning. I kept offering and pumping and eventually she wanted to nurse again. After my experience I learned that TONS of babies do the SAME thing around that time. That's what I was wondering about toddlers, yk do they do that as well?? Does that make sense?
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#13 of 17 Old 08-15-2007, 05:05 AM
 
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As my dd got older she did most of her nursing at night, many toddlers are just "too busy" during the day to nurse much.

She might be making up for the missed feedings by getting up to nurse.

But, it does sound like she isn't a big comfort nurser so she might wean at an earlier age than some children do.

I am sorry. It is so hard to see them get bigger isn't it?

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#14 of 17 Old 08-15-2007, 06:19 AM
 
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My oldest dd only nursed 1-2x/day from 11 months, while I was pregnant with #2. She weaned at 17 months, and never wanted to try again. I think she was ready. She was becoming more independent in other areas at the same time, so I just took it as one of the stages of independence. Now dd#2 is still going strong at 20 months-no sign of stopping, and I am pregnant again. The lack of milk doesn't seem to have any affect whatsoever! Every baby is different, and you just have to let your children show you where they want to go.
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#15 of 17 Old 08-15-2007, 11:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah. Thanks mommas!! I'm seeing signs that she's ready and it's kinda cool that she's so independent at the same time it BREAKS my heart. I literally get all teary eyed and stuff just thinking of it. Sad huh?? I just love my baby girl and it feels like time has FLOWWWN by!!!
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#16 of 17 Old 08-16-2007, 12:03 AM
 
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When my son was starting to slow down his nursing I pumped at first--just once a day to keep a supply going--but then I missed a few days and it didn't seem to make any difference. I always made just as much milk as he was nursing, I guess! (even when it was at once every 3-4 days for literally 30 seconds).

I was even gloating that my boobs hadn't deflated as he was weaning! but then when he really did, a few months later I was a A cup--and I'd been a B all my life. Now I seem to be getting some of it back (about a year later), but. Point is that I found that I did not need to pump.
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#17 of 17 Old 08-17-2007, 11:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks. I think thats what I'm getting from most mommys that I've read about. They make WHATEVERamount they're baby needs at THAT given time even if it is a VERY small amount.

Thank you girls.
Just after this my dd has slept through the night for 3 nights straight (no naps due to running back and fourth to see our new neice!! LOL) Anyway yesterday she ACTUALLY ASKED to nurse about 4 times. That's not happend in ages. I guess she really is just getting up in the night to make up for lost sessions, that's fine with me, I LOVE nursing it doesn't matter when. I really thank you all for your help. I love hearing stories ofHOW it happens it is helping me prepare cuz" I really don't think I have that long with her.
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