I know he won't be nursing when he's a teen (and likely well before that).
If he's needing it enough to be basically sucking fumes for the last 10 months (between pregnancies, losses and whatnot) then more power to him!
dd is 4 and still nursing, although now it is only "to go to sleep" and only for the length of the ABC song I simultaneously tandem nursed after ds2 was born for about 13 months but I too struggled with it. There were times I felt like crawling out of my own skin, when I realised I was biting myself to stop from screaming I knew things had to change. I started nursing them one at a time but honestly it didn't help that much, I never expected that I would find nursing my dd such a challenge. I was determined to CLW but the reality is what it is. I don't know how long we will nurse, there have been occasional nights when she has fallen asleep waiting for her turn, but then she'll wake up in the middle of the night and demand it! I don't know if ds2 will nurse for as long as dd as he is not the avid nurser that she always was but I'm still aiming for CLW. Time will tell!
Megan Davidson, Labor & Postpartum Doula, Breastfeeding Counselor, Anthropologist, Mom to August (9) and Clay (4), Partner to Shawn.
DD 9 DS 7 yrs
Ever since my second child was born, I've been tandem nursing (at one point, I was nursing all three of the older ones!). And I think that affected how long I wanted to nurse...it can be very difficult to nurse an older toddler when you have a newborn (at least, it was for me).
My oldest was 4 years, 9 months when she weaned.
Number 2 was just over 4 years old.
And Number 3 was 3 years, 9 months.
(Baby Number 4 has just turned 2, and is still going strong...I have no intention or desire to wean her at any point...we'll see how she goes/when she is ready to give up. But it's easier, as there are no more babies.)
With all of my older three, I slowly (over a long period of time) restricted weaning until it was just before bedtime - once they were over 3 years old, that was pretty easy with all of mine...they were too busy to want to nurse much during the day anyway.
Then at bedtime, I started offering choices - nursing or another story. When they were younger, they always wanted to nurse. As they got older, they wanted that extra story...and they eventually stopped asking to nurse and just always had two stories.
It was all very gradual. Not true child-led weaning, but not traumatic at all, and I felt it was respectful of both my needs and my children's needs.
Hope that helps!
Oh - to answer your question, I think I really did want my kiddos to be finished nursing by around 5 years old - but I also think that was affected by the fact that I was always tandem nursing. It will be interesting to see how long the baby ends up nursing...
My first nursed for 5 years and self-weaned on his 5th birthday.
When he weaned, I was also nursing his little brother and his little sister.
Z (child #2) self-weaned in June of this year, a few weeks before his 7th birthday and I'm currently tandem nursing Haley (5) and Coren (2) and am 23 weeks pregnant.
You could say that my perceptions changed over time and that I definitely no longer have a limit!
For me, tandem/triandem nursing is a wonderful experience that I absolutely treasure. Occasionally I just need the children OFF of me for a little while, but usually a nice relaxing bath (alone!!!) helps a great deal. I can't imagine never having experienced tandem/triandem nursing!!!
I'm also nursing a little one (7 months). Tandeming has been easy for me, none of the creepy-crawlies that some of you mention. I think that if tandeming ever does start to drive me up a wall, we'll probably call it quits (with the older one that is), because I do believe in following my mama instincts and not fighting to keep doing something that feels wrong.
Right now I would imagine that my limit for the older guy would be four years, but we'll see.
As far as my personal feelings on it, I think it depends somewhat on the individual child - DD1 weaned at 3 1/4 yrs., after nursing really very little for the last 6 months of that. But she was, physically and developmentally, very big for her age - she looked older, acted older, was very mature and independent at 3, potty-taught very early, etc. etc.. My DD2, who is now 3 1/4 herself, is *totally* different - average-size, acts much more "babyish" (and I don't mean this in a negative way, just haven't had enough coffee this morning to think of a better way of saying it! ), will not even start potty-teaching, much more attached, and still nurses a lot. My friends joke that my DS (15 months) will wean before his older sister does!
Anyway, I don't think I'd start feeling uncomfortable about it until around age 5 or something. Even then, I'm not saying I'd make the child wean, necessarily - I don't know, I might continue if it were important to my child, even if I wasn't crazy about it. But for me, in terms of my personal feelings about the nursing, it seems to have more to do with the child's perceived age or the age that they act rather than their actual chronological age, if that makes any sense at all?
Kerri blessed single mama to Teresa 8/2/02, Madeleine 5/28/04, Andrew 6/25/06, and Isabelle 11/27/08
As it is, my daughter was nearly 6, and was about to start school, when we talked about how it was probably time to be done. At this stage it was more of a way of touching base, and a comfort thing, and it was actually easy to call ourselves done...but there is no way I would ever have imagined us spending that long as a nursing pair.
-T, Wife and Best Friend to R 3/2005; Mommie to E 8/2007; and G 3/2009
i just thought what a neat idea that was! how affirming for her child.
I figure as long as my DC want it, I'd keep the milk factory open for production
I can see it still at 4, but my kids at 5, no, they were just too big for me to picture it.
But the reason I'm actually posting on the thread is I just saw this
Plus if all goes well I will have a nursing babe in the house when she is 4.5
and it made me . And then noticed your new sig.
Happy happy times. Feel good, mama ...
Part of me thinks it's time to consider other methods of comfort for DD1. Another part says she won't be nursing when she's a teenager and who am I to deprive her of something she really needs? And the other part says I'm pregnant and nursing a babe and maybe that's my personal limit, you know?
I'm holding out hope that she'll stop of her own accord.
I am thinking of night weaning my four year old, though.
I am not trying to talk you out of that idea, but I really don't think that would be a concern at the time. DS was still nursing while he was in kinder and it was no more an issue than the fact that I wasn't there *at all*, kwim? Also, at that age few children are nursing regularily during the day because they are upset, it is generally more a before bed/occasional thing.
I was going to say the same thing. This is ds's second year at kindergarten and he's only just really slowed down in the last few months.
I went back to work full time when ds was 11 months old and we've continued to nurse when together for over 4 years.