Last week my 2yo DS stopped nursing at night. I had always said weaning was going to be up to him, no matter how old he got but I just couldn't do it anymore. I read some threads about nightweaning fitting in with CLW and felt better. DS was ready. 2 nights of mild complaining and now he sleeps like a rock. We co-sleep and there was no crying or drama just a cup with water and reassurance he could nurse in the morning. He is not up every two hours anymore and really seems happier during the day even though his day now starts at least an hour earlier than before.
There is only one problem... me. Now that I have had my little taste of not nursing every two to three hours around the clock I want more. Well, maybe I should say less. Less nursing.
This of course makes me feel guilty. For my delight in a good night's sleep, and extra time with DH, and for wanting to nurse even less.
Is this just a stage? Around the 16mo mark I had a few days of being "over it" but it went away. Now it's different and DS knows it. He wants to stay at the breast MUCH longer than before to compensate for the lack of night nursing AND my lack of interest in nursing at all. Nope, I'm not pg, and yes I really feel strongly that DS should choose the pace for total weaning. But a big part of me wants to nurse lots less. Anyone feel my pain?
I am tandem nursing 15 month old DD2 and 3 year old DD1. I work full time and am away from my them from 6:45 AM until 4:45 PM. DD1 was a colicky comfort nurser and and is still very needy. I have been somewhat successful in limiting her nursing to about 2 or 3 minutes when I first come home but even that's a little tough because I'm usually nursing DD2 at the same time. But tonight she really needed to nurse for about 5 minutes and it was hard.
Oddly enough most of the time she prefers that DH put her to bed but when I do the bedtime routine I nurse her for about 2 minutes then as well. On the weekends she might nurse 2 or 3 times, including once in the morning.
I keep going because I think it helps keep us connected, because she's so darned needy, and because I think there are still some developmental if not actual medical benefits. Not to mention the reduced risk of certain female cancers for both of us.
To paraphrase someone else on these boards, sometimes child led weaning feels more like child led nursing.
I would encourage you to hang in there and perhaps set some gentle limits.
I always swore that both parties had to be happy in the nursing relationship to make it a good one. I remember having the same feelings you describe. My dd nursed every hour on the hour until she was 18 months, and then I started trying to set small limits at night time. Some nights she was okay with it, some nights she wasn't and I wanted to pull my hair out, but within a few weeks, her nights she was okay with it, were much more than the other nights and she started SLEEPING... which started ME sleeping and life was bliss!
I had several days where I just didn't want to nurse anymore. But I also reminded myself that she wouldn't nurse forever, and that she needed it, for what ever reason, and I was okay with that. I also noticed when she night weaned that she did spend much more time on the breast during the day than before, and I was so happy to be better rested that I just didn't care
I had 3 knee surgeries last year and a few days after my second surgery (when she was 33 months) she just told me that my nursies got broken in surgery and all the milk was gone.... and she never nursed again
Now I look back on those days where I wanted it to be over, and WISHED they were still here. I really miss that special time we had.
I'm no expert on the "right way" to do CLW but I feel like it's perfectly acceptable to set some limits. We cut out night nursing around a year. Eventually we've gotten to morning nursing, nap or quiet time nursing, wake up nursing and bed time nursing. Sometimes we add in another if she is really feeling funky health or emotion-wise. Sometimes we cut out one or two if we're busy and distracted. Often she asks about an hour after getting out of bed, "Is it afternoon yet?"
It has made me feel better about our nursing relationship because I'm not resentful about having to nurse anytime I try to sit down and I know that she's still getting a lot of love and momma time.
I agree with the pp about both of you being happy in the nursing relationship. I still enjoy the time ds and I come together to nurse and part of that enjoyment for me means somewhat less frequently. I went through a period right before ds turned two where I wasn't enjoying nursing much and was feeling annoyed and resentful by it (he was nursing 6 times a day). I don't think there is any right or wrong way with doing CLW. Do what works for you and your dc happy.
I still very much having ds come to our bed in the early mornings and evening nursings are a great way for both of us to wind down. It's the midday nursings that I had a tough time with. He now nurses once after I pick him up from daycare. On my days off he nurses twice during the mid-day and I feel okay with that because I know he's making up for the days we're not together. I don't tell him no, but will put him off until after meal times - since he tends to want nursies right before meals, then doesn't eat, then wants continual nursies because he's hungry later.
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