Is there an average CLW age?? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: When did your LO self-wean?
0-2 years 3 75.00%
2-4 years 13 100.00%
4-6 years 13 100.00%
6+ years 2 50.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 4. You may not vote on this poll

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-17-2008, 12:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
changingseasons's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Seattle
Posts: 8,756
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love the idea of CLW, but until I found this forum I had no idea that children continued to nurse until 4, 5, 6+. I really thought that most kids would be done on their own within the first couple years. So I'm just curious if there is any kind of 'average age' where kids normally start losing interest in nursing?

A little about my background- I grew up in a pretty conservative area of the country, where I had never heard of things like AP, cosleeping, CLW, etc. I hate to admit it now, but I was even one of those people who saw a woman nursing in public and thought, "ew. can't she do that somewhere else?" So it's been hard for me to transition from that world to nursing in public myself (I'm totally over it now, BTW ). I'm loving every bit of AP and plan to stick with it, but even discussing it with family or friends 'back home' is hard, because they think I'm just being some crazy hippy.

So back to my question- I really want to do CLW with my DD (only 6 months now, so we have a while to go still) but I'm still trying to get my head around nursing for years and years. I guess I'm wondering a few things-
  • when did your LO self-wean? (I am going to try and attach a poll with this question, but never tried that before... we'll see if it works.)
  • how often are you nursing a LO once they've started solids or passed toddlerhood? (is it just once or twice a day, or still full-time nursing?)
  • how can I get past the social stigmas of nursing an older baby?

Mom to DD1 (10/07) and DD2 (3/11)
geek.gif I blog about our life with food allergies and eosinophilic disorders.
changingseasons is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 04-17-2008, 01:00 AM
 
Peony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 15,918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)
It can be daunting to think that you are going to be bfing for the next several years. Just take it one day at a day, the days just seem to fly by, and suddenly you realize you are still nursing your "baby", only the baby 3 or 4+. When you have a 6m old, a 3y old seems SO big and grown up, but when you have a 3y old then you realize that they really aren't so big after all. They are still very immature and many of them still need to nurse, and that continues on until the child out grows that need. Remember weaning isn't just stopping nursing but you are replacing the breast feeding with something else.





Now for me, my DD1 weaned herself a couple weeks before her 4th B-day, I am positive that had I not gotten pg with DD2 that she would of continued nursing for quite some time since at 3y of age, she was a very avid nurser. Once my milk was gone then slowly her interest left as well, by the time her sister was born DD1 was down to nursing once a week, she stopped all together less then 2 months later. There are those toddlers who only nurse a couple times a day, I don't make that model of toddler. Mine nurse very frequently. Think of it as a connecting moment as well as getting mama milk. The world is a big place for a little persona and many times they just need a moment to gather themselves, to know mama is always there, it is very comforting, and then there is always the thrill of fly by nursings Nothing soothes a toddler melt down or tantrum like a nice, long nursing session. DD2 is 1.5y old, she is still very much a baby, when she needs to nurse, she needs to nurse now. We nurse in public every day still. I will say that I was perfectly comfortable with nursing in public until DD1 got to be 3y, then it was just more comfortable for both of us to nurse in the car before going in places. Sometimes a portion of nursing in public block, is just telling yourself that your child needs this, what's my child going to be like in 5 minutes when I can find a place nurse away from everyone, think about carrying a screaming toddler through the store, etc... or finding a place and sitting down. Like tonight, we are at the mall for a special Mother Goose event, DD2 ran up screaming and I knew she needed to nurse. We sat on a bench and nursed, I was watching the people walking by, the vast majority of them had no idea what I was doing, I got caught a couple people glancing and then looking again to see what I was doing. They looked and then went on their merry way.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
Peony is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 12:48 PM
 
annethcz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: on the beautiful prairie of MN
Posts: 9,825
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Only one of my children has done CLW so far, she was 5 when she stopped nursing. I'm also nursing my current 4.5yo, she nurses a couple of times per week.

It can be hard to envision nursing an older child when you have a baby. I remember the first time I saw an older child nursing. Although I was theoretically okay with CLW, it was a shock to see such a big kid nursing. But the thing is, nursing a toddler or preschooler doesn't happen overnight. It happens gradually, and you don't really notice it. The nursing relationship evolves naturally as time goes by.

New signature, same old me: Ann- mama of 2 boys and 2 girls, partnered to a fabulous man.
I'm an unintentional weasel feeder and I suck at proofreading.
annethcz is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 01:22 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So far we're on a CLW path. Dd is 3.5yrs now and shows no sign of weaning (I'm pregnant and she's been nursing without milk for months)

Babies *rarely* self wean before 2. In fact I would personally say they never truly self wean before 18 months- there are always outside influences.

From my reading I would guess that average CLW age is probably somewhere between 3 and 7yrs.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 01:25 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by changingseasons View Post
  • when did your LO self-wean? (I am going to try and attach a poll with this question, but never tried that before... we'll see if it works.)
  • how often are you nursing a LO once they've started solids or passed toddlerhood? (is it just once or twice a day, or still full-time nursing?)
  • how can I get past the social stigmas of nursing an older baby?
To answer these questions...

dd hasn't weaned as mentioned
dd nursed at least 12 times a day until after 2yrs.
Now she nurses around 4-6ish times a day
Social "stigmas" never bothered me I do what I know is right and everyone else can take a hike...

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 01:52 PM
 
eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mexico
Posts: 7,440
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
when did your LO self-wean? DS1 was 4 years and 6ish weeks old. DD was just past her 2nd bday. DS2 is 2.5 and still nursing.
how often are you nursing a LO once they've started solids or passed toddlerhood? (is it just once or twice a day, or still full-time nursing?) DS1 nursed pretty much like a newborn until he was about 21 months old and my milk supply tanked (I was pregnant). Then he pretty much only nursed at bedtime until my milk came back. Then he nursed infrequently during the day (usually only when hurt) and pretty much all night long until he was 3 or so. Then we continued nursing to sleep and first thing in the morning, but not during the night. He would also nurse still if he got hurt or something. From about 3.5 to weaning, he started dropping days here and there until he was only asking to nurse once a week or so. He eventually just stopped.

With DD, she never nursed more than every 4 hours or so and slept through the night at a really young age. By the time she was 18 months or so, she was only nursing at naps and bedtime, and sometimes first thing in the morning. When she was 20 months old, she potty learned and started jumping out of bed first thing in the AM to pee, and gave up the mornign nursing. Then she gave up napping, so she dropped the midday nursing. Then, around her 2nd birthday, we stopped nursing to sleep in the bed because I was very pregnant and it was uncomfortable for me. So wewould nurse in the chair and then I would sit with her while she fell asleep. That lasted a few months, and she just started wanting to go to bed before having nursed. Eventually she stopped asking, too.

DS2 is 2 1/2, and he's mostly only nursing at bedtime and over night. Sometimes he askes to nurse in the middle of the day, but it's rare and usually limited to getting hurt.

how can I get past the social stigmas of nursing an older baby?
Like Angela, this never bothered me at all. I actually found that many people, particularly those with children (even if they had never breastfed or had weaned by a year) were suprisingly open and respectful. I doubt most people realized that ds nursed quite as long as he did (not because I hid it, but because after a certain point it doesn't really come up), but most people knew I was still nursing him while I was pregnant with DD.
eclipse is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 02:12 PM
 
rmzbm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 15,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Isn't the worldwide average weaning age 4.5? Seems reasonable. I doubt kids *really* self wean much before that without ANY outside factors. Age 2 is often used but I think that just stems from the WHO recommendation...I think 2 is REALLY young for true CLW. Of course, I've never self weaned a kid so I can't comment much. But my 2 yr. old is nursing nearly a dozen times a day still. I doubt she'll wean for at least a couple years. We'll see.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
rmzbm is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 02:18 PM
 
broodymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Watching the rain
Posts: 7,286
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
I don't know for us. DS is 3.5 and still nursing. He's only nursing about 1 time a day right now, but I wouldn't be surprised if it picks up after the babe is born. This is the 2nd pregnancy he's nursed through.

DD is obviously still nursing too, but she's only 21 months and is clearly not ready to wean yet.

Chaotic uc.jpg homeschool.gif mama to 5 plus a bonus one on the way.  stork-suprise.gif

chicken3.gif

broodymama is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 02:30 PM
 
LavenderMae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: where I write my own posts!
Posts: 12,213
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My self-weaner weaned at 4 yrs. 10 mths. He was only nursing once at bed time at that point and when my milk completely dried up due to pregnancy he was done. He had no interest in nursing in public after he was 3. I would have nursed him though if he'd wanted to past that age.

My almost 18 mth old still nurses several times a day and at night (not usually several times but here lately...teething). He rarely nurses in public though he's usually too busy looking at things ect. But of course if he wants to he does. I doubt he'll wean anytime soon.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
LavenderMae is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 02:44 PM
 
whoamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 2,051
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
#1 was 3.5, #2 and #3 were 4+ a bit, #4 is still lovin her nursies at over 5 years.
I have been hinting that no one really nurses when they are 6. She nods without losing her grip on the nipple.

"With the thoughts I'd be thinkin', I could be another Lincoln,

If I only had a brain."duh.gif

whoamama is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 03:15 PM
 
chel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: lost in a cornfield
Posts: 4,207
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I agree with a pp, it may seem daunting now, but once you get to that point in life, it's much easier to see. I feel lots of new moms think the marathon craziness of infant nursing just continues but as dc get older they nurse much less and for shorter period.
My dd was 5.5yrs when she weaned (there were a couple more times she asked and latched on)
between 4.5-5.5 it was only before bed for like 2 minutes. 3.5-4.5yrs was mostly upon waking and bedtime and at the rare nap, and only for a couple of minutes.
I was more the waterfountain for a quick drink, not a full meal!

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
chel is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 03:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
changingseasons's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Seattle
Posts: 8,756
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by whoamama View Post
I have been hinting that no one really nurses when they are 6. She nods without losing her grip on the nipple.
That is too cute.

It was definitely weird for me the first time I saw someone nursing a toddler (which was just a few weeks ago if you can believe it!) I guess it's my own weirdness that I need to get over... because I'm definitely interested in following DD's lead on nursing & weaning. Thanks everyone for your input!!

Mom to DD1 (10/07) and DD2 (3/11)
geek.gif I blog about our life with food allergies and eosinophilic disorders.
changingseasons is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 05:00 PM
 
immamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 725
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
In my experience it's been 3-4 years old. My oldest, our daughter, weaned at age 4... and our two son's weaned at age 3. This baby will be allowed to wean on her own as well.
immamama is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 05:16 PM
 
bc1995's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 2,468
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My boys both weaned a few days past their 4th birthday. As far as getting used to nursing a toddler or preschooler, well it happens so gradual you just look down one day and think 'wow, how did they get so big' and keep right on going. I found mine didn't slow down on frequency until after they were 3.

Carrie, mom to Johnathan (7-02), Brodie (2-04), Kate (12-06), Jordan (9-08), (4-09) & Maggie (3-10)
bc1995 is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off