Join Date: Feb 2004
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Barbara: an always learning SAHM of Ilana (11) and Aiden (8) living in Belgium with my amazing husband.
I'm Valerie wife to a United States Navy sailor, mom to Audrey(6/01), Lydia(4/08) Jethro(1/10) and Vivian (6/11)
Has anyone seen this?
This is the longest I have seen a child still bf. Does anyone here have similiar experience? I am new to the concept of child let weaning, and I have seen 4 or 5 as the norm, but never 8....just wondering what you all have experienced.
there is a huge difference between a continuous nursing relationship that goes to term and offering a weaned child a chance to nurse again. i'm not trying to be snarky, but it seems a little bit like you are insinuating that the 8 year old is not having her needs met in other ways. wonder away. the piece was edited up the ying-yang, no doubt to make the girls look odd, and so much so that the mother has posted online separately the entirety of the interview so it seems less biased. i am so tired - like i feel literally physically tired - of coming here to the CLW forum and the discussion centers around someone's conjecture of another mama/child pair's reasons for nursing past 4 or 5 which seem to be the "acceptable" limit. i'm nursing MY 5 year old and MY 1 year old and i, personally, have no interest in delineating any age limits or speculating about anyone else's reasons for nursing "too" long. it has been suggested to me at various times that i am still nursing because i am too permissive, because i have a high-needs child, because i didn't graduate from college, because she has food allergies, because i have no limits, because i can't let go of it, because all weaning even CLW is dependent on parental encouragement that i am not giving, because of the age spacing between my children, because i am lazy.
i am currently so frustrated by a lack of support that i don't even want to spell out here, or in real life, the multitude of reasons that i still nurse my daughter. i want to keep it a secret so that it doesn't get picked apart and wondered over.
this sounds so angry; i don't mean it to. but i am frustrated. i want to trust that all mamas are doing their best. i don't always, but i want to so i am starting to practice it. so wonder away - but, mama, you will never know. i have turned inward, away from my friends, away from this forum, even, to quietly wonder about my own children and relish in my own journey and do what works for me. and my child is not lacking in some element that "drives" her to nurse. in fact, in my home, i would say that she is so supported that she feels comfortable nursing even though it is not the "cultural norm" (her words).
motherhood is becoming isolating for me all over again.
where you are at in your journey an 8 year old nursing needs an explanation.
i honor that.
but be aware that your fellow travelers are all over the freaking map. they are joyfully formula feeding a newborn baby that they never even knew they wanted and they are nursing developmentally disabled 11 year olds and weeping at what they want for them but cannot have. and they are quiet, not talking about how effortless and normal it is to allow nursing to continue as long as both parties delight in it regardless of the wagging fingers looking on from the outside.
and honor them.
There's nothing wrong with "wondering".
Maybe if more people "wondered" instead of "judged", Aileen, you wouldn't feel so ganged up on. You should thank her for wondering instead of taking out what you have had to put up with (unjustifiably, yes) on her. :
let me try this again.
most importantly, i never meant to imply that you were callous - not for a second. and i apologize if i unwittingly did. i really was just trying to explain how your questions, in particular the question "Like when kids get older does it become the only way to get mom to slow down and focus only on them? hmmm....just thinking "outloud" here..." may imply that nursing is a push and a pull or a struggle or that uber-complex nursing relationships can be whittled or explained away in some sort of formulaic way. i guess i was just trying to point out that we can't know. i wasn't saying it's wrong to wonder - just that you can never really know how nursing is going to play out between any duo (or trio, or quadruplet [with a slow and noble nod to mamaABCD]). you just have to do it if you want to. you just have to go there and nurse for as long as it fits. i was not offended by your post. i am just exhausted by having to explain why i continue to nurse a five year old; why i have to justify it, and why i have to justify it here. (lord help me when she's eight! i'll never tell a soul.) i was responding to the tone of this forum lately, and was not meaning my post to be a personal attack. (did it really seem attack-ish?) i'm so sorry if i hurt you.
i was just trying to say that from another vantage it's not a puzzle to be deciphered. older children nurse because even if it's not the norm it's normal. it's totally biologically normal. if the brain keeps growing at that rapid clip and the milk teeth are still in the mouth and our shorter-lived ape-y cousins are nursing their five year olds then there's nothing to explain.
you might like reading some of katherine dettwyler's writings. she's smarter and nicer than me.
and sheepnumber97254, i'll take you up on your oh-so-kind suggestion.
thank you maria, for wondering.
and if i can ever figure out what it is that makes my child unique in her nursing needs or anything else for that matter, i'll let you know. until then i think i'll just shut up.
So then as I am thinking about clw I see the video and hear the woman talking about her breasts as though they are sort of apart from her and how the girls don't want them covered and I wasn't so sure I wanted to go there, so I wondered, is that video typical? And the girls seem a little obsessed with bf