I'm newly pregnant---not due til July.
I live in the country and a UC sounds most feasible for me in all reality. My first (dd--now 4) labor went so well wondered we even bothered with going to the hospital. I woke up and went to the restroom and was in transition. We made 90 miles to the hospital. I was 100% effaced and fully dilated, and they were not taking me seriously: "This is your first baby, so calm down. Be patient. What's your social security number?" Enough already.
I would repeat much of that labor and birth in my fantasy delivery. I'd like to wake up rested and have already dilated most of the way without pain, only tight basketball feeling, which happened with dd over a long period of time. This "active labor part" I'd like to be in the warm tub or pool with warm water spraying on me while I sip on blenderized ice. I'd like to listen to soothing classical music and smell wonderful aromatherapy candles. The lights would be somewhat dimmer. I'd have some supportive women around for their love and energy. And I'd like dd, who'll be 4 1/2, almost 5 and dh there. This time, I'll have pics and video! An hour later, the new little one will be here.
I may birth in the water (probably). Dh will cut the cord, and I'll hold the baby.
We'll use the help of the supportive women to clean up, make an herbal soak for my just-labored body, and make a meal and do whatever little things need to be done.
We'll focus on the new baby as a family: mom, dad, big sis, new baby.
We'll eat and rest.
I personally liked having a short labor and pushing session, and request that again. This time, I'm interested in learning about hypnobirthing as an alternative to moaning. I liked moaning the first time, but I think it will be very challenging for dd to hear that. She'd probably get very upset. So, this time some grunting while pushing and maybe a few moans but mostly deep breathing.
My dad's mom had 12 children "back in the old days" so having 1 or 2 or 3 like this should be a "piece of cake". Right? LOL
mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13
love and light
Is anyone lotus birthing? Just curious. We are planning on doing it again w/this birth.
It's nice to see this thread so active!!
Have not thought about a lotus birth yet, have heard a few different definitions of it. Is is born in the caul, or is it letting the placenta naturally fall away from the baby over time?
mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13
love and light
Nothing new here, just checking in. We are doing fine here.
Anyone else nesting in a major way? I'm not really nesting in the cleaning sense, but I completely withdraw from society when I am nearing my due month. I cannot stand to be around anyone at this point. I just want to snuggle safe and warm at home. We have church each week, which isn't too bad because it is easy to avoid conversation there, and then the family Christmas gathering to weather. That will be AWFUL! but i will endure it so my children can spend time with grandma. : Then there's my mother in law...oh, let me vent for a moment.
She comes over about once a week if we don't get down to her house. Not too bad, but not good to me. I am a loner and antisocial and I just don't get why she has to come visit all the time. But anyway, this a woman is so incredibly afraid of birth. I really feel sorry for what she must have gone through with her 7 births but anyway. She comes with this look of pity on her face. She asks the "How are you feeling?" and without giving me a chance to answer or completely ignoring my answer of "Good." says "fat and pregnant, huh?" The rest of the conversation is full of "hanging in there, do you need anything?" blah blah blah....I mean everyone is pretty much annoying at this point..."How are feeling?" is really getting on my nerves. Grrrr....but my MIL is definately the worst. Then this lady at library story time...my dd was wearing her Born at Home shirt so a couple of people asked if she was indeed born at home and I said yes and am i planning that this time. Good conversation...right? Then this woman says, "So you're in good health right, cause you can't do that if you aren't, right?" For some reason this question drove me insane. Of course i am in good health, pregnancy is not a disease. And I can give birth whereever I want no matter what. Like its against the law to birth at home or something! Anyway, I had a strong urge to announce our uc plans and hash it out with these women but I resisted.
I am breathing now...I just get so sick of the way society feels about pregnancy and birth. The negativity just makes me want to literally puke. I think I will give into my feelings and just stay home for the remaining 5 weeks or so of my gestation.
Ok, sorry for this icredibly self centered and angry post.
Big belly rubs and hugs to everyone!!!
Anyhow, do you guys realize there are 3 of use due the same week in January - me, 2much2luv, and Mothernature? I think that is so cool! Maybe 4 if citizenfong is due mid-late Jan.
Speaking of being due in Jan, if you are planning a waterbirth, when are you setting up your birth pools? I am still dying to set mine up! Not fill it, just set it up. Then I plan on sitting in it and visualizing baby coming. Maybe I'll do it this weekend. I'm sure my dh will think I'm insane
We set up our birth pool when I went into labor. It was just a huge kiddie pool. It was funny because we thought it was going to be this really short labor and dh was hurrying to get the water in it which was slowly trickling from the kitchen sink. I ended up hanging out in the pool for a couple of hours and got out and delivered hours later in our bed. I'm still planning on setting one up this time, but it's going to be much smaller because I don't want dh to be responsible for cleaning everything up post-pardum. What a pain. I guess that's the one nice thing about having other people there. Oh well.
Is anyone measuring their fundal height and measuring ahead of their dates? I'm was measuring totally on dates until a week and a half ago. I'm 22 weeks and measuring 25 weeks now. Woo-hoo. Must be a big ol' baby in there!
Moms and MILs saying "fat" and "huge" things. Yuck! I feel most beautiful pregnant, don't you? It's like this amazing thing is happening under our skin. It's just so cool.
Beth -- sorry you had a run in with the homebirth police! Sounds like you survived their tough interegation tactics despite the swinging light in your face. Sheesh!
Brandi -- So nice to see you here, nursing mama. I hear you on the trusting a woman's ability to give birth. It irks me sometimes to hear others not trust. But, I someitmes wonder how differently I would view birth if I came from a different family or had a less supportive husband or less faith in my body. I may be posting, "Help! Crisis!" every other day.
Welcome Michelle L. Hope you have lots of fun this pregnancy! And, your labor be one that dreams are made of!
I am due at the end of January and I don't know if we'll ever get our pool up. lol I don't picture a water birth at all in my dreams or fantasies, but the water was soooo nice during my last labor that I bought the pool so I could have the option. I suppose we will get it up sometime in those last few antsy weeks. I say go ahead and put it up if you want and play in it. With my last dd we had it up really early too.
I started measuring large after my ultrasound around 20 weeks (don't know why I got it, but that's in the past...) I haven't measured myself in forever mainly because I lost my tape measure. : But I remember i measured ahead with my first dd and I know everything is fine so I am not too worried. I was measuring about 2-3 weeks ahead, btw.
Got the ickies here. I hope its not the flu, I am just hurting everywhere and sinus headache and a slight fever...all that fun stuff. My youngest dd was sick like this for about a day or two a few days ago so I hope mine goes as quickly.
Brandi--lotus birth is not severing the cord.
thechrysalis: I am not due in Jan., thank goodness! I am due in early March (late Feb?) and am currently at the stage of feeling like, Aggghhh! Will I be ready in time?
My good friend who is due 7 weeks after me went in together with me to purchase The Pink Kit (it's pretty expensive). Has anyone here ever heard of it/done it? It's a collection of information about women's bodies and how you can work with your body during labor, like to create more space. For instance, one of the exercises teaches you how to move your sacrum (tailbone) to make more room during birth if your baby is posterior. Anyway, you are supposed to do the exercises for 8 weeks and I realized last night when I brought it home that--I better get crackin'! I really don't have any time to lose.
Brandi: SO glad to see you here!
Okay, fat comments: Last weekend was the above friend's son's birthday party. She is planning on having her baby at her lay mw's house (over the boarder in a state where lay mw's are legal, as opposed to our state) or a Claire-style, Oh, looks like we don't have time to get to the mw's! birth. Her IL's don't know anything about any of this, except that she is seeing mws. So when I got the opportunity to pave the way a bit by sharing my plans, I did. Her MIL says to me, "Well, <FIL's> mother had 7 children at home. She had a pretty easy time, I think. Well, and I would think you would, too, you're not a small girl either!" :
I really don't think she was trying to insult me, but it does crack me up how many people, especially of a certain generation, have no trouble pointing things like that out to you.
Well, back to the Christmas panic. I'm trying to get done as much as I can this week, cause I have to do ALL my gift shopping next week. This Saturday is the big party in Atlanta and we can't buy gifts til we get dh's bonus on Sat.!
BTW, Kendall, I'm wondering if our mutal acquaintance is planning a UC? Do you know? I know she was leaning that way, but her dh was interested in perhaps having a mw on call/backup. Just curious.
One thing that has concerned me this pregnancy is Gestational Diabetes. I've had a real hard time with sugar. I just can't eat it like I use to, everything makes me feel sick. That's a good thing because I want sugar out of my diet anyway. I don't really have any symptoms of GD except rapid weight gain and it all seems to go straight to belly. Last time people asked me pp if I'd had GD because I had such a huge baby and I gained a lot of weight, but the m/w never mentioned that I could be and I certainly don't think I was. I'm not going to worry about it unless my intuition leads me down that path.
The other thing that crosses my mind is twins, especially when I lie in bed at 4 am and can't sleep because all I feel is baby everywhere. I had a very early positive test at 9 DPO on a dollar store test with this pregnancy and wonder if I had a really high amount of HCG. I felt definate flutters around 8 or 9 weeks. Started having Braxton-hicks non-stop at 13 weeks. All of that could just be second baby stuff right? I guess it's one of those things that you have to wait it out and find out when the time is right.
Tracy-That Pink Kit sounds cool. Is that something you got locally or online? Yes, our mutual acquaintance is planning to UC. It's amazing how many UCs are going on in our little town!
I haven't been measuring fundal height, but I'm probably right on for dates. My first baby was pretty small, 6'2oz and 21 inches long. I think this one will be bigger, but not much. Thank goddess no one is commenting on my size. How offensive. I am still pretty small though. I started out about 105 pounds so I'm not a big person to begin with. At 8 mos. pg. I can wear size 8 pants, so maybe that's why. Still, I would never say anything like what you ladies are hearing.
I love being pregnant too. I feal so beautiful and womanly. I also don't get the honor of having ample bossom when I'm not pregnant or nursing, so dh (and dd) are enjoying my new body with me. This is the ultimate expression of being a woman. I don't expect to get to do this again either so I'm trying to enjoy it.
I had noticed that some of us were close on dates. What fun to have someone doing this at the same time. 2Much- I hope that you don't get this nasty flu. Maybe it will go easy on you. We don't have time for you to get it as bad as I did. You want to be able to breathe during labor! I'll keep you in my thoughts. Sending healing light your way.
I am having an aqua doula delivered for my birth. We had one with dd and it was wonderful! They are kind of expensive, but they come and set it up and come back after it's over to take it all away! To me (and dh) it's worth it. He in fact, insisted we do it again. I was willing to go the kiddie pool route this time, but he liked the idea of not having to clean it up. He wants the full bonding effect.
I'm getting toddler distracted, so I better go for now. Have a wonderful day!
Thanks indigo for clearing that up for me
I am so excited for all of you due so soon! I have so long to go! I am not yet wearing maternity clothes, though I don't think that will be too far off :LOL I just can't wait to feel movement, to really know that wee one is in there!
mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13
love and light
I have also been contemplating whether or not to invite one of my close friends to be at the birth. I'm not even sure she would want to be there, and she tends to be a very worry oriented person, but she has always been very supportive of me in whatever I do. On the one hand I think it might be a real bonding time for Dh, Dd and I (and baby of course) which we could really use these days. But Dh has a tendency to be really annoying and pushy during any kind of big moment and I think my friend might balance things out a bit. I guess I'm just thinking out loud. Are any of you having other people at the birth?
My hips are definately spreading out nice and wide. I tried to sit on a little wood stepstool the other day which I can usually just fit into and I shocked to discover that there was just no way I was going to squeeze between the sides. It wasn't just extra fluff, though I'm sure I've packed a bit of that on too, it was my bones.
I have a hard time visualizing anything about the birth, my usually graphic and fertile imagination just draws a blank. I think I have become so committed to just going with the flow that I can't conjure up any pre-concieved notions.
Sorry for the duplicate posts all. DS is awake and likes my internet time to only be during naptime.
I have told my mother that I was planning a UC. The first thing she said was *but do you remember how long it was with DS?* I told her yes, and that was a good reason for a UC. (It was about 17 hours.) She seemed to be okay with it once she learned that the fire department is just around the corner. MIL said *but the hospital is a much better place to have a baby* when I just mentioned a home birth. She has come around with a lot of my weird things, so I expect she'll come around with this. DH is a bit nervous because the midwife did pull DS out once the head was out. He seems to think that it was good she was there because of that. But he had suggested doing it alone with DS earlier and I think readibg will help the fears he has. His other concern is that our house is really small. But it's much bigger than a hospital room. He's also a bit concerned about DS not handling it well. I want DS with me and that's it.
One of the reasons we'll be doing a UC is because no one does home births in this department. There are two midwifes who do pre- and post-natal exams in people's homes. I plan on contacting them and hope to get lots of appointments with them around my EDD. One of the reasons I want that is because I had a tear with DS and had to be stitched up. If I tear this time, I don't want to go to the hospital to get stitches. I have an OB appointment January 15 with the doctor who handled my last miscarriage. He seemed to react well with me being natural before. A doctor would be able to write a prescription for a fetal monitor or doppler. I'm hoping that he will be willing to work with me in doing the things that I want but be okay that I will not be his patient. I had a stethescope when pregnant with DS and was never able to hear anything with that. I don't think that it's a possibility just with a normal stethescope. I kind of like the monitor idea because I thought that gave an actual rate, eliminating the counting. But with dopplers you can actually hear the baby and I don't know that you can with a monitor.
I plan on getting a child's pool to put on the back porch. Since I'm due Aug 2, the days will be very long (18 hours) and so I hope I won't have the problem of it being dark. I really think often of birthing there. Anyone think that birthing outside would present any risk. I guess the one thing that I think is that then we wouldn't be able to really set up the pool in advance because we would want it clean. DH worrries about the neighbors knowing that we are having a baby in the yard. I did hypnobirthing for DS and I was not loud until they stitched me up, when hypnosis went away completely to be replaced by loud, uncontrolable screaming. I did say stuff when I tore also, but I don't think I was that loud. I think my reaction to tearing was part of why the mid-wife pulled DS out at that point. I think she just saw a change in my attitude at that moment. She had not done anything except place the monitor occasionally up to that point.
Nothing much new, just checking in.
I am feeling quite a bit better today so I have high hopes that this whatever it is will be passing on quickly and that makes me so happy. The only real problem I am dealing with is lack of sleep. I have slept only a few hours the last couple of nights. Its like i just cannot sleep when uncomfortable. But in the wee hours of the morning today my fever broke and today I am feverless and much less achy. I got a good nap and I think I will be able to sleep tonight.
I was planning to lay around all day today since I didn't sleep but a few hours in the night but we got a call at 5 this morning that MIL's house was on fire. So I couldn't sleep after that and we headed down as soon as the girls got up around 6 or 7 and helped all morning as much as we could. It was so sad. The house is totaled but it seems they got out most of the photos and important things. They had a wonderful attitude about it all and were just glad that they both made it out alright. It will be strange to not have Grandma's house to go play at anymore. :
Anyway. that was our busy day, but I am just glad to report that i am feeling better and better.
Here are some thoughts on supplies....it mostly depends on your personal "slant" to it, KWIM? I mean, really, you don't *need* anything. We had a kiddie pool, some herbs and Susun Weed's book, Gregory White's book, chux pads, a bulb syringe (won't be doing this route again...). I think that's about it. Also a homeopathic kit and Rescue Remedy. RRL tea, and some juices stocked but most of the stuff, no different than an average homebirth. Oh, depends for afterwards for me. I like to normally use cloth but the first two days or so, there were really convenient as I usually bleed pretty heavily. This time I will also have a sitz bath. Maybe make up some frozen herbal pads beforehand.
The rest as I say, is whatever you would normally have at a homebirth.....music, film, cameras if you want, lots of towels if you're using a tub, baby blankets and clothes easily accessible for quick grabbing, birth ball, you knowl....whatever you want. I HTH. I think the only things I didn't have at DD's birth (an assisted birth) that I had at DS's (our freebirth) was the herbs. Oh and we lotusbirthed DS so we had a few supplies for that that were different.
I would say a good place to start is with the average HB list and then add what you want or might want from something like Susun Weed's book.
Dh stocked up on every concievable herb for birth when our local herb shop went out of bussiness (which I really miss ), so I'm sure I'm covered on that end, but that's Dh's area of expertise not mine.
Beth: So sorry to hear about the fire! How horrible! I hope everyone is okay.
Or I might just have my mom there. She's been a RN for 30 years and has actually caught many babies (including twins in a car) b/c docs couldn't get to the hospital on time (night shift). She was totally against out-of-hospital births and liscened mw (since they don't have 'medical' training) but my sis had her babe in a freestanding bc with a LM and I had a HB w/ a LM, so now she thinks its pretty cool. Plus my sis and I fed her lots of info on why HB was safe and most of the routine prenatal and hospital procedures are not necessary. Another sis (I have 3) is planning her 2nd VBAC in Feb (V-day!) and is hoping/planning on not making it to the hospital, which is over an hour away and my mom's totally onboard for helping out if sis wants. I'm hoping that she ends up with her uc. It would be a great ending after three not so ideal births (2 c/s and one medically managed VBAC.)
Anywho, I've totally rambled beyond belief. I'll be regulary watching this thread, eagerly awaiting the upcoming births, and gathering ideas and support for my uc in the future. All of you ladies are awesome for believing in yourselves.
Trish~mama to Kaelie 5/03, Amelia 12/13, and someone new coming 11/15, surro mama to Aidan 2/08 & Ellyss 6/09,
Kendall: Here is a link for birthing kits that are much more reasonable. I think the top model is $40 and if you like you can piece it together for even less. http://inhishands.com/html/ordermain.html
Again, I'm with you, not sure what I'll need or want during the birth but not wanting to forget anything either. This site has herbs and sitz baths too if you want. Shoot, she even has born at home t-shirts. I could really go overboard, but that's really not the idea here now is it?
I don't think we'll be lotus birthing because I think I want to make the tonic on this site: http://www.unhinderedliving.com/childbirth.html. I can't get the link to work this morning, but it's the second to the last choice. It says you have to do it pretty quickly after the birth so I'm going to have my friend mix it up while dh and I bond (if it doesn't gross her out- she's vegan.) We rent, so planting the placenta here doesn't really have any sentimental value to me. Last time I was so stupid I donated the placenta to a man who trains search dogs.: I expect to have a better plan this time around.
Just use commonsense about being clean - homebirths are great, you're already used to the household germs etc and you can cope with them!
Infection was a big risk factor because of unhygenic practices - not using clean instruments, not washing hands regularly, not maintaining healthy habits, and i think infection today is still a risk more so in hospital than at home because of all those resistant germs!
My name is Donna, and I am expecting baby #8 in June sometime. We have had our last four babies at home with a mw. My story goes~for all four hbs, dh wanted to have a uc. I was too afraid, so we had a mw. Mw pissed me off and took control of my last birth, making it harder than it should have been. Dh saw it as difficult, complicated, etc, and now he is nervous about uc. Sooooooo.....I actually found a uc supportive mw near me, and I told her from the beginning that I don't want her (nice, huh! :LOL ) She actualy understands, I met her on another list I am on. Anyway, she knows the only reason I contacted her was for dh. I told her I do not want or need any prenatal care. She said fine. I told her I don't want her there for the birth. She said fine. I have been talking more to dh the last few days about his fears. A lot has come out.
What I am trying to impress on him, is that I do not need him to be a stand-in midwife. I am completely capable of giving birth by myself (which I am not at all opposed to doing either, meaning a solo birth) and that he doesn't have to catch or anything if he isn't comfortable. That seemed to help a bit. Well, it's a work in progress.
I am planning on buying a few videos, A Clear Road to Birth, and one other one I saw on a website that had 7 or 8 ucs on it. I will be getting more pregnant nudes done again. I have gotten them done 4 times. last time, they were done outside in December, 4 weeks before my baby was born. this time it will be late May....should be nice.
I see a few familiar faces. This is such a great thread, and I look forward to chatting with you all.
You know, this is a good thread, I was thinking the same thing. There was a thread like this a couple of years ago, and it ended up really giving me support to make my decision to UC w/ this baby. I even found one of my now best friends because of it and she lives in my city. She's had 2 UC babies. I'm glad we are all here for support and I really like the positive energy here. Thanks!