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UC Sypport thread

11K views 233 replies 42 participants last post by  lizzie 
#1 ·
So, who else is planning an unassisted home birth? I thought we should get together for support here since I know most of you cannot discuss this with family or unsupportive friends.

I am due Jan/Feb and this is my second homebirth, but first unassisted. I had been leaning towards UC all along, but decided on a midwife in the beginning. After a series of revealing events, I decided to change my plans and go it alone. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on and I feel like I'm doing just fine with this.

So, what about you?
 
#2 ·
Me! New here and due Jan also. This is my 2nd birth, first UC and I am sooooooooooo excited. No one in either family even knows we are having a homebirth, let alone a UC. I have yet to figure out what I will say after the birth because I know that my mom will still be on my case if she finds out it was unassisted.

I know that before my first birth, at this point I was a nervous wreck because I knew I would have to fight fight fight to have a normal birth (and I was right). It is a huge weight off to know that I don't have that to deal with this time around.
 
#3 ·
I'm not pregnant yet : ( - 11mo dd is still exclusively bf so i dont think im fertile again yet - but anyhoos, dd was a homebirth with midwife. our second will be uc definitely!

screwy thing is, we were gonna uc with our first but in the really early stages of labour we were sitting around twiddling our thumbs and going uh is this all? what do we do??? lol ended up calling my mum and she called the midwife after a while. the annoying thing was, like 2 mins before she arrived, i was starting to get into active labour and knew what to do instinctively... wish i had waited a bit longer before calling mum!

what are you both planning on doing for prenatal care?
 
#4 ·
In the beginning I had a midwife so I've had 3 prenatal appointments with her, but since then I've just been really observant of what I'm eating and getting outside lots to exercise. I also start a pre-natal swim class next week and take prenatal yoga. As far as checking blood pressure and such, I have only done that once since leaving the midwife. I was in the drugstore and decided to give it a shot. It was perfect so I'm so not worried about it. I think I will measure my fondus today as I have not been doing that either. I can tell I'm growing steadily so it hasn't seemed important. Dh did get me a doppler (on loan from the hospital.) We don't use it very often, but it is reassuring to hear that little thump thump thump when you want to. The HR is about 145 consistently, which is lower than dd's was. I wonder if that means boy? I have not been testing my urine, but I don't have any symptoms that would cause me to worry and it seems clear in the stool (TMI?) so I think I'm plenty hydrated and I'll bet it's fine too.

thechrysalis- I know what you mean about feeling a weight lifted with the UC decision. I was planning to use the same midwife I used with dd because we had a pretty good experience and a relationship built up, but since dd's birth she has gone through a divorce (after 25+ years of marriage) and her life is really a mess. She has also had her CPM revoked due to failure to adhere to peer review suggestions. Appearantly her personal crisis spilled over into her professional life. I decided that as much as I liked her the first time, I didn't want to risk it with her for what will probably be my last birth. Not to mention, she raised her fee $900 from 3 years ago! I checked around with the other local midwives and that was exhorbitant. I tossed around the idea of switching to another mw, but dh was also considering a job out of state so I didn't want to switch and then switch again, especially after paying the deposit. There had been a little voice in the back of my mind all along that said, "Who needs a midwife anyway? The suggestions she made last time were the things you could have done without anyway." That voice kept getting louder and louder until finally my hesitation turned into resolve and I started reading UC stuff instead of just birthing stuff. As soon as I decided, I felt soooo much better. Now, I don't plan on telling my family. We're just going to tell them it all happened so fast that the midwife didn't get there in time. That should suffice. We'll save all that $$$ for the birthing pool and any follow up ped appts. we may need.

How do you all feel about well baby visits? I guess that's OT.
 
#5 ·
Hi! Long time lurker here, chiming in to say that we are planning a UC too!

I am so excited about it, it really just feels like the absolute most right thing to do.

I am just about 15 weeks along with my 3rd. My 1st was hospital born, 2nd homeborn with a midwife. I just know that i don't need anyone telling me what to do, what not to do, etc.

I am doing all my own prenatal care, which as of right now doesn't consist of much. Haven't checked for a heartbeat, but i probably will soon with a stethoscope, just for fun. I don't want to check too early and then freak if i don't find it, kwim? Considered doing fundal height, but am lazy and keep forgetting, lol. I have had 2 normal wonderful pregnancies, and i am more than confident that my body knows how to grow babies! I am just letting things develop accordingly.


Great to "see" some other UCer's here!!

Sue, mama to Ellie and Ean, and incubating chick #3, due to hatch sometime in late may.
 
#7 ·
I haven't done much by way of prenatal care. I check my bp at the grocery store when I remember. It is always low. I weigh myself at another store (dont have a scale) when I remember. I've just been trying to listen to my body and rest when I feel tired, excercise or work out in the yard when I have energy, spend as much quality time with dd as I can, etc. At first I was going to get a fetoscope but haven't bothered. Oh, I also measure my fundal height occasionally but since I'm not sure if I'm doing it correctly, I don't put much stock into it. I know baby is getting bigger, just from looking in the mirror!


Personally, I think well baby visits are unneccessary. I don't take my dd to the dr unless there is something going on that I feel is abnormal or I don't feel comfortable handling myself. I've been trying to find a local homeopath or naturopath for her but no luck yet. But that is how we deal with most stuff (homeopathically).
 
#8 ·
"I've been trying to find a local homeopath or naturopath for her but no luck yet. But that is how we deal with most stuff (homeopathically)."

I would like to learn more about homeopathy too. It seemed so "out there" to me years ago when I first heard about it, but since then I've seen so many good results. My ILs were just here for Thanksgiving and they brought some sort of cold/virus. I have managed to fight off everything that's been going around until now. Last night in the night I woke up with an extremely scratchy chest and throat and a sinus drainage/congestion that wouldn't allow me to get back to sleep. I would like to go to the health food store for some homeopathic remedy, but I don't know enough about it to do it. I refuse to take anything else for it so I guess I'll just have to do my homework. Do you have any suggestions?
 
#9 ·
mothernature - take loads of vitamin c and drink lots of water and get all the sleep you can! i dont know anything about homeopathy though! tell off your il's for being sick around pregnant you!!!

nobody has mentioned checking for baby's position - that is my only prenatal concern, i like to know the position because i do everything possible to encourage an anterior heads down position... and if my baby were breech, id like to know so i could do something about it before its too late.

i do active birth yoga exercises and always make sure my knees are below my pelvis and my pelvis is slightly tilted forward whenever i sit (gym balls!) but i guess i still dont have very much faith in trusting that what i do is sufficient iykwim? this is the only reason i'd have a mw for prenatals - that and i enjoyed her visits with dd.

i believe the reason i had such a great birth is because of excellent prenatal care and preparation and positive mindset towards birthing.

any insights into mw/baby position? i cant really tell the position by feeling myself!
 
#10 ·
hi all. Glad to see this thread.

We are having our third baby, third homebirth, second freebirth/lotusbirth. So we are oldtimers I guess.
I am actually surprised how little preparation/thought that I am putting into it this time. Last time, it was "What I was doing", if you KWIM? It was all I focused on and this time, well, it's really different.

I am also putting off some of it, more logistical stuff till after Xmas. DH will be out of grad school for the semester and we will be setting up a birth room in our now, office. I am excited about this. I am due in early spring so this gives us a nice three month period to focus more on babe number three.

We do our own care, but TBH, I don't really feel much of it is necessary. I know my BP is w/in normal range (this was an issue w/baby one) , I exercise a lot, eat right and that's about it. I do try to some visualizations/affirmations when I remember but nearly so actively as last time.

We are also planning on birthing in water this time. Last time, it went too fast and DH was still trying to get the tub set up while I birthed DS in our bath tub.
well nice to "meet" everyone.
 
#11 ·
Thanks for the welcome Lisa. :)

I'm sick too, yuck! The only thing i do to help myself clear out, is

1. Eat lots and lots of garlic!

2. Salt and warm water shot into my sinuses with a baby bulb syringe to rid them of any yuckiness ( i have major sinus issues every time i get a cold, this is my version of the neti pot, lol )

3. The wet sock treatment at night. This works GREAT! Warm your feet, then wet some cotton socks and put them on, then put wool socks over the wet cotton ones and sleep like that. Clears you out and helps you breathe so you can sleep. I can only stand this for about half the night, i hate stuff on my feet or body at night, but it works so well!

As far a checked for position of the baby, i was ~never~ able to tell the position of my babies. I just can't tell what's a head, back, butt, etc. Breech babies are a variation of normal. Babies can and are born breech all the time, FINE! A woman on the UC birth yahoo group, cbirth, just had her little one come out feet first. She was scheduled for a csection by her prenatal (s)care provider.

Birth is healthy and normal and we are healthy and normal, our bodies were made to do this! We are safer listening to our hearts and doing what feels right.


(hope i didn't sound preachy, lol)

Love,
 
#12 ·
Hey Sue - I've heard about that sock treatment also, I can just never make myself actually do it (something about the cold socks I guess!) but glad to hear it works.

The only way I have figured that babe is head down is by his hiccups. At first they were all over the place, now I consistently feel them way low in my pelvis. Sometimes I'm positive he is LOA but then other times, I have no idea! I can usually feel his bottom on my left and then he stretches his legs out to the right, sometimes right under my ribs (ouch!!). I guess we'll see when he comes out


BTW, the only reason I call my babe a he is b/c I have a definate feeling - not because I actually know. People keep asking me that irl so I thought I would explain in case anyone was wondering!
 
#13 ·
Hi! We're planning a UC in late Feb/early March. 2nd baby, 1st UC. (Hi, indigolilybear!)

I saw mws for 3 appointments because I have hyperemesis and needed medicine to get through the day. But I now have enough medicine to get me through the rest of the pregnancy (if I ration!) and so will be firing my mws tomorrow! I've known for several weeks that I was going to fire them before it was time for another appt. (which it is now) but I've been dreading it a teensy bit. I want to say everything exactly right so that they don't ask too many questions. Homebirth/UC is a bit of a dicey issue around here and these mws have already made a couple of unsolicited, negative comments about it.

Anyway, it is a relief not to be going back. It's such a distraction! Besides which, despite the fact that I FEEL sick every day, I'm actually quite healthy!

I did lots of research before I got pg and belong to a small private email list for support. The funny thing is that I feel so prepared, it almost seems like a non-issue. I don't even have any questions left for the old-timers on my list. Last time I was so focused on the birth, this time it seems like a side issue--I'm focused on the coming baby. I was thinking the other day about how stressed out I would be about the birth if I was planning on going to the hospital.

BTW, we have a fetascope. We love it. I have yet to hear the heartbeat, but what I didn't know before was that you can hear the baby moving around. It is twice as cool as hearing the heartbeat, IMO. My ds loves to listen and always says, "Me hear baby splashing around!"

I weigh myself at my IL's (mostly out of curiosity) and will keep an eye on my bp closer to the end if I need to. I can go to the CVS down the street or check it at my IL's also.

Isn't it nice to know none of us is the only one going this route?
 
#14 ·
"any insights into mw/baby position? i cant really tell the position by feeling myself!"

You could call around to see if you can find a midwife who is comfortable with UC and ask if you can pay her to palpate your belly.

The other way you can get an idea is by where you hear the heart.
 
#15 ·
UC'er here too!!! This is my second homebirth, first freebirth. I'm just taking good care of myself. Not really checking anything because I know everything is just the way it should be.

The only thing lately that's been on my mind is that I feel very strongly that there may be more than one babe in there. I'm only 20 weeks and all of a sudden I look 7 months. I have felt movement since 9 weeks and I have braxton hicks all of the time! I feel kicking simultaneously on both sides. My hope is that it's just an already big baby, dd was 10 pounds. I've had a few dreams showing me twins, but I'm trying to ignore them right now!!! There aren't any in my family that we know of so it doesn't seem like there's some huge possibility. My girlfriend just had twins at home so my thought is that it may be our psychic link to each other. Oh- I hope. Not sure I'm made out for 2 babies at one time!!! It would be nice to know, but there's really know way I can think of to find out that agrees with my UC ideas-you know?

Hope you ladies all had a nice holiday weekend!
 
#16 ·
Hi citizenfong and mum2lillie!

I wondered too, if I was having twins last preg. I think it's a common worry. People would ask us "what if there are two in there?" and I said, " well, we'll just keep catching them!" :LOL It might just be the second pregnancy thing too. I was a lot farther "out there" w/second preg. vs. first.

Congrats Citizenfong on the next step in your journey. SOunds empowering.
We had a fetoscope, still do I guess, and never really got the hang of it. I finally let it go and went cold turkey....LOL Reading your post made me want to pull it out and see if I can hear the baby splashing around in there.

WEll nice to see eveyrone here.
 
#17 ·
Wow! This group is really growing. I didn't realize there would be so many of us. Glad to have you all to go through this with. It's encouraging to see so many women willing to take charge of their own pregnancies. I've been wondering about position too. I think most of it stems from dd being posterior and turning during labor. I went 13 hours instead of what could have been much easier. Not to mention mw recommended pushing before I had the urge and I pushed for three hours. I was exhausted but I learned to listen to my own body. I think I will try listening for the heartbeat to see if I can determine the postion of this baby. It just seems so flip-floppy (like my word?) that it could change from day to day. I'm about 32 weeks so this baby should be settling in to place- right? Well, it will come out just fine no matter.

Welcome to all the new posters!
 
#18 ·
Hi everyone, I'm going to be UC too. After much stress in the beginning of this pregnancy about midwives ect., I made up my mind for UC and all the stress and worry melted away. Now I am totally at peace about this birth. I'm not even devouring reading material about birth or UC anymore, I just know it will all be o.k.
It is nice to see so many other's here
 
#19 ·
I'm glad I'm not the only one who has wondered about twins! This baby is just so active - sometimes I feel movement *all* over at the same time. It is strange. I think he is just big though - dd was almost 10 lbs too. At least that is what I hope, not sure I could handle two at once right now either!
 
#20 ·
I just wanted to say hi to everyone else who posted after me, and to ask when everyone is "due". Just curious.


I am now going into my 15th week and can't WAIT!! to feel flutters. I am so impatient. I have known since day 1 that i was pg, so this waiting is killing me, :LOL

I guess i've got alot more of it to come, huh?

 
#21 ·
hi, I'm due sometime early spring. Around the end of March/early April. I"m guessing I'll go late March though.


KWIM about knowing so soon. We knew fairly certainly the moment we conceived. I saw hte proverbial spark that others describe. HOwever after a slow first trimester, it starting to pick up a little. From what I remember, then it slows down again end of the last trimester.
 
#22 ·
Uh, can I be the mascot for this thread? I don't think I can be an official member, but I'll wear the stuffed animal suit and cheer us all on. I am focusing on a UC, however, I my DH feels very uncomfortable with UC (but said it's fine if the MW doesn't make it in time). So, I'm working to make sure the midwife doesn't make it on time, without being dishonest. The midwife is pretty much hands off and I've asked that she's even more hands off with this birth...if she's at the birth.

This is my preparation to make sure the midwife doesn't make it on time -- I'm practicing hypnosis, so pain won't be such an indicator. I'm going to take Vit C with bioflavenoids during the last two months to help keep my bag of waters in tact (last time they broke before labor began). I plan on laboring by myself as long as possible & then calling DH. I'm not calling the MW till I'm sure I'm in labor (read: ready to push). And, I'm asking the universe to support the idea of freebirth for this baby. I trust it will happen if it is for the highest good. I just hope it is!

I'm due aprox March 15. Prenatally this is what I do -- I have a scale so out of curiousity I weigh myself. I have really normal/low side blood pressure & not worried about that. I'm not concerned about sugar or protein in urine. Basically, I go to the midwife and she gives me cranial/sacral work and discuss homeopathy and natural healing. It's nice. Rarely though do we discuss my pregnancy. She didn't even measure my fundal height last time. But, I do want her to show me how to find the baby's position and things like that so I can them myself. Just because I like to feel the baby.

I'm normal. I just know this pregnancy is going beautifully. I'm taking care of myself and baby as I feel I should.
 
#23 ·
I was so excited to see this thread on its second page! Whoo hoo!


Now for a not so pleasant question: Has anyone else had vomiting in the third trimester? I am 33+ weeks and for the past two, have thrown up about 5-6 times. It seems to coincide with my prenatal, although I am taking the Rainbow Light once/day which I haven't had a problem with this entire pregnancy. I never had actual throwing up in the first trimester. I've heard its normal, I just don't understand why it happens. It just seems like a cruel joke, you know?

Other than that, things are going pretty good. I've had some restless legs but started taking iron again and have slept really well the past two nights.

Hope everyone else is doing good also.
 
#24 ·
thechrysalis- my friend who is pregnant with her third also just started throwing up and being sick again...weird....

mum2lillie- have you measured your fundal height? If you measure weeks more than you are then there is a possibility for twins!!! I think that would be exciting. I am almost 10 weeks and am so positive I have already felt movement....but everyone says I'm crazy and it's just gas.


I am not currently planning on a uc, but dream of it and might end up doing it....and I have a few good friends who do it and I think it's just awesome.
 
#25 ·
Hey Sparklin

I'm trying to figure out what the stuffed animal mascot for UC would be! :LOL I guess any animal, cause they all UC, don't they??

We can be the UC Unicorns! Ok, it's way too early and my brain is a bit loopy, i think i need to go back to sleep.


Sorry you're getting sick Chrysalis, that sucks! Maybe it's just some weird bug or something, everyone i know has been sick lately. Are you nauseous too, or just randomly throwing up? I lost my constant nausea around 12 weeks, but after i eat more than say, oh ONE bite, my stomach is uncomfortably full and i feel that if i puked i'd feel much better. YUCK!


Which brings me to another thing i wanted to say, that this pregnancy is so weird so far! I can completely feel all of my organs shifting around all the time. Like when my bladder is full in the am, my uterus is waaaay up high, i can feel the lump of baby up around my belly button, but when the ol' bladder is empty, uterus is down above my public bone. It's kinda cool to feel everything shifting so much. I guess that's what comes from having ZERO muscle tone, :LOL !

Anyway, enough


Let's keep this thread going, it's so nice to have someone to chat with, everyone around me is focused on the midwives, etc. I'm feeling so relaxing and grateful that i can just enjoy this pregnancy.


Love,
 
#26 ·
Hi everyone!


We are planning a UC in January. In reality it will most likely be the end of January, but I am so big already and feel so ready for this baby that I am thinking about a begining of January baby. I don't know why I do this to myself.
: lol

My first dd's birth was an induced hospital birth with all the trimmings...induction with Pit, episiotomy, epidural...I am just glad I scraped through without a csection which almost happened. My second dd was born at home with a midwife in the water. (she was born in the water, the midwife wasn't in the water...its too early!) So many things pushed me to UC this time...looking at the imperfections of my last birth, a freind was planning her UC (and had it a few weeks ago!), I got a really bad vibe from my midwife when I called her...I was in turmoil over it in the first few months with the worries and going back and forth with it all in my head, but then one day I just knew this was right. Like some of you have described I just had total peace about it once I decided.
I have done all my research at this point about what to do for the little what ifs and feel completely prepared.

As far as prenatal care I'm not doing much. I feel good so I know everything is good. I was seeing a CNM in the first 4 months because I was a worry wort, but no longer. I mainly just try to connect with my baby every day and ask her if she is fine and just sort of try to feel it out to know that everything is well. I drink some pregnancy tea once in awhile and do yoga as often as I get time. I do need to do my yoga more because I am really waddling lately and feeling stiff. My blood pressure has always been really low so that isn't a concern. My iron levels were really low at the end of my last pregnancy so I will be watching that. I have a WIC appointment this month and they will check it and then I will get more Iron if I need to.

We don't do well baby visits. We will take this baby in if we think there may be a problem, but I think it is more dangerous to take a healthy infant into a germy doctors office than any benefit we might get from it.

But dang I'm excited! Everything is just so perfect about UC. I have never been so excited to have a baby. I have grown so much during this pregnancy. In the begining I was worried about my other children (3 1/2 and 2 when baby will be born) and who would watch them because with my last labor I "needed" dh with my all the time I was in labor. But I have grown and really see myself laboring alone this time calling the family in to witness the birth. I just feel so strong by myself and this is a new feeling to me in my life. I can tell this birth is going to be so empowering.

Family would FLIP if they knew. I live near my inlaws so they are the ones we deal with and they flipped over our homebirth last time and think we are complete freaks. I am avoiding them like the plague this time. Anyone else have premature nesting? I feel so in touch with myself and my baby with this pregnancy, I guess that just comes from taking it all on my shoulders. But anyway, for several months now I have felt that pull inward that I felt at the end of my last pregnancy. I am shunning my in laws and anyone else that doesn't give me good vibes and really love being home most of the time. It seemed really early to feel this way but I am trusting my feelings and obeying them.

Anyway, glad to have the rest of you.


Beth
 
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