41 Weeks Tomorrow, Advice Please - UPDATE IN POST #30 !!! - Mothering Forums
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Unassisted Childbirth > 41 Weeks Tomorrow, Advice Please - UPDATE IN POST #30 !!!
belchers1's Avatar belchers1 06:26 PM 01-13-2009
I know that I technically won't be "overdue" for another week and a day, but I suppose I'm looking for some much needed support and reassurance.

I saw an OB once at 6 weeks during this pregnancy. (I had an ultrasound which confirmed the "due date" to be 1-7) Anyway, while there I knew I didn't belong. I transferred care to a homebirth midwife, Kate Mazzara. It was always in the back of my mind, that I wanted to be alone with just my family. Maybe I just wouldn't call her. I eventually realized that was somewhat dishonest and I would end up paying for services I would not need or be using. I knew that to UC successfully, I needed to make it completely real, there would be no room for dishonesty with anyone, especially someone involved in the pregnancy and birth (such as the midwife). This birth is something I must do on my own with only God's guidance. I feel safe and protected. I stopped seeing the midwife and am know having a UP.

Bringing me to today, I am 40 weeks, 6 days pregnant. I really didn't think I would go this far.

A little birth history:

With my daughter (5), I attemped a natural birth in the Alternative Birthing Center in a hospital. I was two days past my due date and the OB recommended a "natural induction". Because I was already dilated to three, he thought it would be a good idea to break my water to start things. My little girl was posterior. I ended up being sectioned due to "failure to progress". She was 9 Ibs.

With my son (4), I went into labor at 38 weeks, 1 day all on my own. Overall, my experience this time around was much better than with my daughter despite being in a hospital. He was 6 Ibs, 10 ozs.

I feel okay with going to 42 weeks. I just wonder what to do at that point if nothing is happening. People are driving me crazy with comments like "Where's the baby?" and "They're letting you go this far?" (I've lied to mostly everyone saying that I am receiving prenatal care from a midwife).

So, if at 42 weeks baby is still not outside of me, what should I do? Nothing? Has anyone ever gone to a doctor for an NST or ultrasound at this point? Should I take something to try to induce labor (cohosh, etc.). I would rather do nothing (I'm not sure if I'll feel differently about that a week from now though) but I don't want put the baby or the birth at any additional risks based on decisions I make.

If I go to a doctor, I'm going to hear a bunch of crap, they may try to make me feel guilty or even threaten me...? I'll probably end up with a terrible outcome.

If I induce myself, I could end up with a terrible outcome as well.

If I do nothing, am I putting the baby at risk for meconium, shoulder dystocia (due to an increased weight), or anything else that I may not be able to handle?

TIA

cathicog's Avatar cathicog 08:44 PM 01-13-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by belchers1 View Post
If I go to a doctor, I'm going to hear a bunch of crap, they may try to make me feel guilty or even threaten me...? I'll probably end up with a terrible outcome.
, Yep, in all likelihood, more surgery, to protect thier behinds.
Quote:
If I induce myself, I could end up with a terrible outcome as well.
This is true. You may not be quite ready yet. Patience, mama....no one is pregnant forever.

Quote:
If I do nothing, am I putting the baby at risk for meconium, shoulder dystocia (due to an increased weight), or anything else that I may not be able to handle?

TIA
Meconium happens sometimes no matter the baby's size, etc. It just happens. You would be more likely to stress the baby in a hospital, where you would probably be given pitocin(which makes the contractions unusually hard and fast, thereby depleting the baby's O2 supply) and that puts the baby more at risk than you would just staying home. Shoulder distocia is also more a problem of positioning than baby size. I have seen 12 lbers born at home, with no problem, but have heard of 8 lbers really getting stuck in the hospital. The moms were typically on thier backs, which makes the pelvic outlet flatter from front to back. At home, the mom just was on her knees, and raised one leg, and baby came out...Hope that helps a little. Remember, at home you can do whatever you need to do, freely to help the baby move down and out.
onelilguysmommy's Avatar onelilguysmommy 09:35 PM 01-13-2009
with my first, i had the same sort of ideas you did but since i was 17, when my dad found out, he had a fit and started threatening my mom so from 28 weeks i went to a fp. then at 36 she referred me to a bc knowing i wanted no interventions. i went to the bc for the interview/first appt and then was insulted (she snorted, rolled her eyes and LAUGHED when i said i knew my babys dad and wed been together almost 3 years!)

and i was thrilled because well..my dad didnt know i wasnt having any more appts with the doc,and i didnt have any more there, and refused to make one for the bc.

anyway i got to 42 weeks..still pregnant..kept waiting. a few days later, i prayed about it a lot and hoenstly felt like i was supposed to be induced, that he needed to be out.

so..i went to the hospital and got pitocin.

i ended up with that and a bunch of other things i DIDNT WANT like mhis water broken. that made me angry. and being argued with,m yanked around, etc. and i have severe issues with people touching me when i dont know them, and the one doc that i got kinda comfy with lied and said shed be there until the next day, and left after a couple hours, so i had ANOTHER one, etc..
they tried to force an epi..just lots of stuff. and i didnt have a csection before, obviously, so if i were in your shoes id totally try to wait.

keep praying about it and see what you feel. did you have your second vaginally?
do you know if youre dialated at all yet?



i know the indecision though i wasnt scared about anything being wrong, i knew babies come on their own time in general, but when i got that far and had no contractions, or anything, i decided that was the time to do something and started asking what i should do. when he came out, it was obvious he NEEDED to be out and am thankful i prayed so much and listened to what i was told.

i domnt know if they even would induce you? it depends on the hospital and since you havent had ob care, id be scared to just show up at one without knowing them or their obs and all regarding vbacs and inductions, kwim?

have you doe anything that is supposed to help labor along without actually inducing you, like sex/orgasm, and epo and walking a LOT, mand things like that?
alegna's Avatar alegna 10:10 PM 01-13-2009


I'd wait. Babies come when ready. I had ds with a mw, but he was 43 weeks 5 days. And not a second overcooked.

-Angela
belchers1's Avatar belchers1 11:29 PM 01-13-2009
Out of all of my options, I feel like right now doing NOTHING is the right decision. It was nice to here of alegna's pregnancy lasting 43 weeks and five days! Hearing that makes me feel even more patient!

Quote:
Originally Posted by onelilguysmommy View Post
did you have your second vaginally?
do you know if youre dialated at all yet?





have you doe anything that is supposed to help labor along without actually inducing you, like sex/orgasm, and epo and walking a LOT, mand things like that?

My 2nd birth was a VBAC. (Thank Goodness!)

DH did do a cervical check and said it's soft and would estimate maybe 2cm. That was last week. He wanted to check again, but I said no.

Last week was my last week of work (I worked the day after my due date). My job requires a lot of walking, I'm a phlebotomist. That didn't seem to do much. Besides that I haven't really done any excessive walking (I did go grocery shopping on Saturday)

I started taking EPO on Saturday, both orally and vaginally.

Sex... It's been about a week and a half. I know this makes me look foolish because maybe I should have sex before considering "what to do". I don't know why it's been so long. We usually don't go this long without it. He hasn't initiated it I guess. I suppose I should try to do that. Maybe that'll push me off the labor cliff...?


Thanks everyone!
belchers1's Avatar belchers1 11:33 PM 01-13-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post


I'd wait. Babies come when ready. I had ds with a mw, but he was 43 weeks 5 days. And not a second overcooked.

-Angela

DH wants me to ask how much he weighed.
Marlet's Avatar Marlet 11:38 PM 01-13-2009
Pming you right now.
Luv2bemommy's Avatar Luv2bemommy 01:45 AM 01-14-2009
OH boy do I understand where you are coming from!! I"m 42w3d and going insane. I have been having care from a CNM in a practice who wants me to come in to have AROM to induce and I keep saying no. It's HARD. You think you will be pregnant forever and everyone says you won't but you are scared you will be. Scared to stay home because of risks they tell you, scared to go because of risks.. I totally relate mama!
alegna's Avatar alegna 02:48 AM 01-14-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by belchers1 View Post
DH wants me to ask how much he weighed.
8lbs 11oz

one ounce less than dd (who was 8lbs 12oz) at 41 weeks 2 days.

And yeah, my dates were right.

-Angela
Kidzaplenty's Avatar Kidzaplenty 06:46 AM 01-14-2009
Hoping labor starts soon, that would solve everything.
belchers1's Avatar belchers1 12:47 PM 01-14-2009
Everyone throwing their input and experiences in is really helping me! I'm realizing that it's not that big of a deal to go to 42 or 43 weeks. I do feel a sense of calmness.

As Laura Shanley's site says, "Don't push the river, it flows by itself"! Very true! I'm sure this baby just needs the extra time inside, I'm just accustomed to the mainstream medical model telling you about stupid risks, that really may not have anything to do with a longer gestation!

I do hope I go into labor soon, I want to hold and nurse my baby!
alegna's Avatar alegna 12:55 PM 01-14-2009




Hang in there.

Ds would have had serious problems if kicked out early. As it was, if he had been born in a hospital they would have kidnapped him to nicu. (he had a couple of apnea spells and trouble holding his temp)

-Angela
AngelBee's Avatar AngelBee 04:54 PM 01-14-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post


I'd wait. Babies come when ready. I had ds with a mw, but he was 43 weeks 5 days. And not a second overcooked.

-Angela
Mylee was 43 and a half weeks also. She was 7lb 3oz....smallest of my babies so far.
belchers1's Avatar belchers1 12:20 PM 01-20-2009
Just thought I'd check in. It seems as though this baby will never be born. I'm still hanging on though.
alegna's Avatar alegna 12:48 PM 01-20-2009
I totally understand the feeling. Babies are always born. I promise.



-Angela
TrishWSU's Avatar TrishWSU 04:25 PM 01-20-2009
I only went to 41w2d and he weighed 7lbs 15oz, and he was completely covered in vernix. There was clumps of it in his ears even! So obviously not in any danger of being "post dates." The whole time I just felt very calm and I knew that everything was ok. I think if I had really started having doubts then I would have considered other options (home induction, NST) but only if my gut was telling me something was wrong-not all the mainstream medical minded people.

Hang in there. I hope you're holding your baby soon, too.
Kidzaplenty's Avatar Kidzaplenty 09:08 PM 01-20-2009


Hang in there! The time is soon!

I only went to 42wks exactly. But I know it was hard to wait.
A_Random_Phrase's Avatar A_Random_Phrase 09:40 PM 01-20-2009
Belchers, let us know what happens.

I used black cohosh tincture and walking to help my baby when the dr. thought she should be coming (I had her in a hospital). You probably don't need the walking, it sounds like. These mommas all sound like experts in this area.
sarahwpen's Avatar sarahwpen 01:47 PM 01-22-2009
yep. i'm with angela. no one stays pregnant forever.

my 1st was 10 days overdue, 2nd was 14 days, 3rd was a whopping 43 weeks pregnancy. none of them were REALLY overcooked looking. and #3 was 6 ounces smaller than #2. #1 was induced and yeah, she should have stayed in longer. tons of vernix, skin allergy problems even to this day (she is 6 now) , had a labor that was 3 times longer than my second and 6 times longer than my 3rd, in spite of all the pitocin they pumped into me.

If anything will help, i think just relaxing will. let your mind stop stressing about it. I know that is hard right now. Just keep on telling yourself that this wonderful time of having your hands free will only last a few more weeks at most! and then you will be holding and carrying and nursing your baby for the next 2 years! Think of it as a handy built in baby carrier on which your rental period is almost up!

if you need to, you can tell anyone who asks that "well, it turns out that the Dr. gave me the wrong due date!". which will be truly honest. As long as your baby is still moving well and his/her schedule seems normal, and you are still healthy with no blood pressure problems or anything then I don't see any reason for concern. Drink tons of water to help keep everything clean and flush out toxins well. get plenty of exercise. Enjoy it too! take a nice long walk, or do some gardening. go see you local botanical gardens or the beach, or the zoo. Those might help you enjoy the wait more. I always go and get a haircut or a pedicure in those last weeks as a treat. (i usually cut my hair at home or get my sister to otherwise)

oh yeah, and all that walking and light exercise will definitely help increase your lung capacity and endurance for the labor, as well as helping to ripen your cervix. If you do kegels while you exercise it could help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles to make for an easier labor with less tearing and a faster recovery.
mellowyellowmama's Avatar mellowyellowmama 04:11 PM 01-22-2009
Mama!!! Hey, I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner! If you feel everything is ok...go with that. Follow your intuition...whatever it tells you!

My last baby (baby 3) was my VBA2C and I birthed her at 43wks, 6 days!!! Yes, my dates were right and she was my SMALLEST babe at under 6 lbs!!! Can you imagine if I induced either naturally at home or in the hospital or had a repeat c/s at 38-40 wks. I shutter at the thought. My midwife dropped me at 42 wks b/c I would NOT do cohoshes or castor oil. I KNEW it wasn't right. I did end up at the hospital with a horrible CNM, but that's a different story. I was never planning an UC. This time I am.

Just relax. Your baby is still growing, developing and the 2 of you just aren't ready yet. You will be soon. When I started getting all the comments and everything I researched about due dates and felt comfortable going 44 wks. I emailed my friends and family and told them this and gave them links. I avoided other people. And when ppl say 'they let you do that' I say, "No, I just did it!"

Hugs mama! I can't wait to hear about your beautiful post date UC!!!!!!!:
holly6737's Avatar holly6737 09:26 PM 01-22-2009
I would start doing kick counts, and if something doesn't seem right after drinking some orange juice and lying down on my left side, I would go to the Dr. ASAP. At 43 weeks, if I'm still not in labor, I would go to the doctor as well. The mortality rate for overdue infants doesn't increase significantly until 43 weeks. Personally (and I had an HBAC here, so I'm not trying to be all medical on you) I would get the baby out past 43 weeks. It's not worth it (IMO) if I know the due date for certain.

Good luck!
alegna's Avatar alegna 10:47 PM 01-22-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by holly6737 View Post
Personally (and I had an HBAC here, so I'm not trying to be all medical on you) I would get the baby out past 43 weeks. It's not worth it (IMO) if I know the due date for certain.

Good luck!
BUT- "getting the baby out" (induction or section) carries risks as well. And my ds was still *barely* ready when he finally decided to join us.

-Angela
HarperRose's Avatar HarperRose 11:08 PM 01-22-2009
My youngest was 43w 1d when he was born. He came out just right. Not overdone and not underdone. I really feel, instinctively, that he needed to be in there as long as he was. It was hard to wait that long, but we got through it. I also had WEEKS of prodromal labor which was extremely frustrating for me.

He weighed 9lb 3oz. (My oldest, born at 39w 5d, was 9lb 8oz! And middle one was 40w and weighed 7lb 14oz.)
mellowyellowmama's Avatar mellowyellowmama 04:09 AM 01-23-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
BUT- "getting the baby out" (induction or section) carries risks as well. And my ds was still *barely* ready when he finally decided to join us.

-Angela
I too wanted to respond to this post, but I'm just going to say I agree with Angela!
Arduinna's Avatar Arduinna 04:25 AM 01-23-2009
I had a 44 weeker that was 9 lbs and I regret letting them induce me especially since it failed and I ended up with a c-section. She was posterior too. There was no reason to induce me, I just couldn't take listening to everyone ask me if it was time yet and was young and alone. I wish I'd had support, I was a single mom stuck with only "support" from my mother that I can't stand. I wish I could have run off holed up in a cabin in the woods with just a real supportive person and no phone.

I do truly believe that babies come out when they are ready.
holly6737's Avatar holly6737 04:13 PM 01-23-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
BUT- "getting the baby out" (induction or section) carries risks as well. And my ds was still *barely* ready when he finally decided to join us.

-Angela
How certain were you of your dates?
mellowyellowmama's Avatar mellowyellowmama 08:02 PM 01-23-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by holly6737 View Post
How certain were you of your dates?
Well, I know your question wasn't for me, but I was sure about my dates within a few days and my babe was born at 43wks 6 dys and was my smallest at 5lbs 9 oz. And might I add, in PERFECT health!
alegna's Avatar alegna 10:23 PM 01-23-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by holly6737 View Post
How certain were you of your dates?
100%+++ If it wasn't then (one particular afternoon...) it was immaculate conception I had a very non-sleepy 3yr old at the time

-Angela
mellowyellowmama's Avatar mellowyellowmama 03:30 AM 01-25-2009
How are you doing mama?
belchers1's Avatar belchers1 01:09 PM 02-04-2009
I really wish I could have posted sooner! Long story short - We moved into a new home when I was 41w 3d along (I think the baby was waiting for the move before making her appearance ) so I had no internet, and because AT&T screwed up my order I still don't : (I'm at the public library now!)

Anyway, I have a wonderful UC story to share! I'll be doing that soon (and posting it SOON too hopefully!
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