Unsupportive fear mongering, instinct vs fear, etc - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 10 Old 04-20-2009, 12:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi ladies,

This weekend I had class and on the last day my instructor asked if I'd let some of the students palpate (some are very new to midwifery, have not started apprenticeships, or even been pregnant)
Of course I didnt mind, and because im "measuring" large for dates (I figure myself to be about 18 weeks and my fundus is already well above my belly button...this is fine with me, its how I was last pregnancy, and i was measuring "normal" aftere about 24 w) the students are all asking "are you sure about your dates? Do twins run in your family?" B/c of course they're thinking textbook.... So my instructor asked if she could palpate and I reluctantly siad yes........

She then went on to tell me that I have ZERO abdominal tone, I should wear a girdle, and Im at risk for some serious malpresentations if I dont. Then she went on to tell me that my uterus feels too large and "empty" that she doesnt feel a baby, and that my uterus is "funny shaped" and more to the right than full, and perhaps I have a uterine malformation such as bicornuate uterus because theres more of "something" off to the right side. My belly looks "weird" and I should really talk to my MW about these things.

sigh.....so heres my thinking.
I *could be a month ahead of my edd, but its not very likely. I say could because
1. Anything is possible
2. we only DTD ONCE in nov, ONCE in DEC.
3. I am still nursing, my periods were not "back" or "regular". I had a "period" in DEC and it was VERY heavy and long, so I have assumed that to be my LMP.
4. I felt movement "very early" around 14-15 w. so if I was a month ahead that would be 18-19 w, which is more textbook.
5. Im hearing a hb with a cheap fetoscope at 18 weeks and its loud and clear and I have plenty of extra belly flub in the way, and again if i were a month ahead It would be 22 w which is more textbook and goes along better with my fundal height.

Im not prone to think Im a month ahead because :
1. I suppose I could have had some sort of antepartum bleeding then and still have been pregnant, but i just dont FEEL like this is the case.
2. I felt movement earlier with pg#2 than with pg #1, and Have ALWAYS read that dependent on where the placenta is of course, typically moms feel movement earlier and earlier with subsequent pregnancies.

So Ive got instinct arguing with fear in my head and Im trying to feel out which is which. I KNOW theres a baby in my uterus, I KNOW I dont have a bicornuate uterus (My first pregnancy I had your typical prenatal care from a CNM in an OB office where they NEVER palpated, only pulled out an ultrasound wand..I must have had more than 10, wouldnt they have noticed?) and i dont have a prob saying i might have poor abdominal tone, but dont try and tell me i have none. I think im just measuring "large" now and it will even out later. this is the third baby, my uterus already knows what to do, isnt this typical!? And as far as being funnyshaped, I have belly flub overhang I can pinch about an inch of "fold" at the bottom...now if I pull this UP, my fundus would be right at my bellybutton, but the way my belly flub "hangs" even when Im laying down, my bellybutton is lower. Another thing, After I had my 1st and looked at the belly aftermath, I had more flub/loose skin on the right side than the left. My stomach has ALWAYS been uneven since.

I mean regardless of if Im a month ahead or not I dont see a good reason to get an ultrasound, And does it really matter? I think not. And multiples DONT run in my family, I cant think of anyone even distant relatives with twins, and even if that were the case, I'll know eventually right? There ARE things that would tip me off! Wow, After writing this all out I already feel better and the fearmongering in my head has been shushed......

any encouraging words?

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#2 of 10 Old 04-20-2009, 02:01 PM
 
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I think you're right. And I think that woman was rude and didn't know what she was talking about.
If your fundal height starts to be clearly larger than your weeks even with your stomach pulled up, then you might start suspecting dates off or twins. Though it sounds to me like you know your body well and have accounted for what the students might have seen as weird. They don't know your body, YOU do!

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#3 of 10 Old 04-20-2009, 02:04 PM
 
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I agree with you. FWIW, I also have NO abdominal tone, and my abs have now separated quite a bit... but my CNMs have never said anything about wearing a girdle or risking malpresentation. It does just sound like fearmongering!

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#4 of 10 Old 04-20-2009, 05:47 PM
 
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wow yikes! did she say all of that infront of the class?? I hope not!

that said... sure something could be "off". maybe you're farther along. maybe you have an "oddly shaped uterus", and maybe you have loose abdominal muscles....

and maybe you'll choke n a chicken bone and break a mirror and have bad luck!

maybe maybe maybe... good grief! what is the point in throwing all that worry at you. it sounds to me that she was eager to prove she knew how to use her skills. but a good miwife (or birth professional) should know there is no need ot prove how much you know by making speculative diagnosis and scaring the poop outta people for no good reason! (shame on her!)

If you have any concerns about the things she said.... google it. research it. and then let it go.

about abdominal muscles - sometimes having loose muscles effects positions and sometimes it doesn't. But again... this is not something to freak out about!!


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#5 of 10 Old 04-20-2009, 09:15 PM
 
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OK first of all, most instances of twinning do NOT occur because of family history. As a midwife she should know that. Second, as a multipara your uterus is very stretched and you can't palpate accurately until at LEAST 20 weeks anyway. I think the fact that your uterus feels "empty" is a strong sign that you're dates are right. As for tone, WHY would any pregnant woman use a girdle! OUCH! I can see a baby support for the third trimester but a girdle, that's for POSTPARTUM! I have no tone either... In fact I have a three finger diastisis. This is what happens when you've had a couple of kids! Yikes!

I'm also measuring about 4 weeks ahead and my fundus is like one finger below my belly button at this point, but I have had twins and a large baby, so i'm well stretched. Don't them them get to you. You know best if there is anything wrong!

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#6 of 10 Old 04-20-2009, 09:23 PM
 
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My first reaction is that she was showing off for the class.

trust your instincts. if you hadn't allowed the palpitation you wouldn't be thinking differently, right? so accept that is her opinion as someone on the outside your body and recognize that as the person in the body, your instincts and feelings will be much more accurate.

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#7 of 10 Old 04-20-2009, 09:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Orchid View Post
My first reaction is that she was showing off for the class.

trust your instincts. if you hadn't allowed the palpitation you wouldn't be thinking differently, right? so accept that is her opinion as someone on the outside your body and recognize that as the person in the body, your instincts and feelings will be much more accurate.
: That's basically what I was going to say, too
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#8 of 10 Old 04-20-2009, 10:00 PM
 
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Yep, that is what I thought, showing off for the class . . . though IMO this is NOT setting a good example for her students. You do not just throw things out like that to a pregnant mom!! Horrible example of the midwifery model IMO. Personally, I wouldn't listen to a word she said (in fact depending on my relationship with her I may actually say something to her about it).

As for measuring large it is so not uncommon the more kids you have. Are people just not used to palpating moms of more than 2 kids? It seems everyone I know with more than 2 or 3 kids always measures larger earlier (unless maybe they were good to keep up with exercise and did ab work between pregnancies etc.) With my 3rd (and 4th and 5th) my uterus was at my belly button by 16 wks (I could feel it above my pubic bone by 8) This time people kept asking me about twins and I kept assuring them that it was just because this is my 5th baby. My belly pops out sooner each time, 24 wks, then 22 wks, then 16, then 11 and this last time it was 8!! By 30 wks things always even out. If I didn't start to 'even out' I may suspect twins, but not before.

I have also felt movement the last 3x as early as 12 wks (only because I harass the poor babe by poking around down there a lot, LOL, since I didn't use a doppler and couldn't hear the HB early). I start to feel regular daily consistent movement, that is no doubt baby moving, anywhere from 15-17 wks (it was 15 wks with my 2nd). I too picked up a HB at 18 wks this time (or was it 17 wks, can't recall) and I am not too terribly experienced with my cheap $25 fetoscope, but I found pretty quickly.

Anyway, just to say that everything you seem to be experiencing sounds perfectly normal to me!

Kelley, wife to Charlie, SAHM to Xian (8) Piper (7) Arah (4) Ever (2) Thrace (5.09)
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#9 of 10 Old 04-22-2009, 08:01 PM
 
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Regarding a 'big' measurement, with our third and fourth full-term babes, my belly was HUGE. I measured a month further beginning second trimester and I was sure of my dates. With ds4, I measured 40 at 36 weeks and 46 at 42 weeks.

He was a big baby (10lbs 8oz), and my belly was enormous, but he was very strong and healthy and I was too. Oh, and that was with no fat on my belly at all. I never have any. I'm tight like a basketball and the skin on my belly is like the skin on the back of my hand by the second trimester.

That's just to let you know that your measurements may be still 'big' even without some soft skin there, and even without twins, although EVERYONE was SURE I was carrying twins for my last two full-term pgs (I was sure I wasn't; it was obvious to me that there was one baby, but nobody irl other than dh believed me that I could know such a thing ).

I have a very short torso, so my babies really stick out. There are so many factors involved in measurements that it seems absurd to me to using measurements for diagnosis. Indications, yes, but speculative or absolute diagnoses, no.

Well, I've been absent for 8 months, and during that time, it turns out that I have completely transformed. You are all precious. Thank you for being here and sharing your lives. You are truly a gift. namaste.gif Jan. 23, 2012

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#10 of 10 Old 04-24-2009, 01:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Orchid View Post
My first reaction is that she was showing off for the class.

trust your instincts. if you hadn't allowed the palpitation you wouldn't be thinking differently, right? so accept that is her opinion as someone on the outside your body and recognize that as the person in the body, your instincts and feelings will be much more accurate.
:

Plus like you said, all those students are VERY inexperienced and so how are they supposed to tell you that YOU who have had kids before, and know your body is wrong? The teacher, yeah probably wanted to jump in with the class and had to make her diagnosis sound more elaborate than theirs since SHE is the teacher. Just brush it off to being one of those bad encounters with some very rude people who just happen to be even more unappreciative than most. I mean COME ON "it just feels weird"? what the heck is that supposed to mean? If she was really as all knowing as she thinks she is, then she would at least have words to describe what she thinks she is feeling.
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