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#1 of 13 Old 10-17-2009, 09:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Everyone!

I am currently 12 weeks pregnant with our 3rd and final child, and am seriously considering having a UC birth this time. The more I learn about birth, the more secure and confident I become in the possibility that I can do this with only my husband's help.

I have already done some research on UCing on the Australian web site, also contemplating the items we would need for a UC, how to get the birth certificate, what to do if something goes wrong, etc.. I really want to go over everything and research & learn as much as humanly possible, before comitting entirely to this decision.

I think my main questions that I have (and I will try to ask in a way that is appropriate to this board and its rules without being in violation) are:

1. How did you handle telling your mother? Did you keep it a secret from everyone else? (I'm 100% positive that no one else will know ahead of time if we do this, with the exception of my midwife who will obviously find out when we don't use her for the birth. I kept our homebirth with my daughter a secret from everyone besides my mother and my MIL too. My mom freaked when my daughter got stuck and came out not breathing on her own, and I know she'll freak if we UC.)

2. What resource did you use, or can you tell me what you personally used, to figure out which supplies you wanted/needed at your UC? (I have a catalog from In His Hands birthing supply store and have already started trying to make list of what we'll need. I also know what we used during my daughter's homebirth too.)

3. Did you personally take an infant CPR class to prepare for your UC?

4. Did you find a good resource for researching what could possibly go wrong, and how to handle those situations should they arise? (I do know what to do should shoulder dystocia occur, a prolapsed cord, and also if baby comes out blue/purple, but am wondering what else I should prepare myself for.)

5. Did you personally rent an oxygen tank for your UC? Is this something that most UCers believe should be on hand for their births?

6. Are there any books, web sites, articles, etc., that you found to be of the utmost importance in preparing for your UC? (I read so many books and visited so many web sites when preparing for my homebirth with my daughter, including Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, which I found to be the most helpful.)

Thank you for any help that anyone can offer. I am really excited about the possibility of birthing here at home alone (my husband will assist), and not having to worry about interference from anyone. Although I am 90% happy with how my daughter's birth went, there were a few things that my midwife did that I was not happy about. She had not discussed with me ahead of time that she would use cohosh or castor oil if the baby wasn't coming as soon as she would like. She had me out walking all day long too in 85 degree weather, to the point that I was beyond exhausted. My water hadn't been broken for anywhere near 24 hours at that point, and 24 hours was about her cut off point for wanting the baby to be out by. Again, never discussed with me ahead of time. Ironically, none of those things worked, and it wasn't until after I had told her no more and that I was going to go lay down for a while, that my body finally felt safe, and began to labor intently. My hard labor only lasted for 4ish hours, and I pushed for 35 minutes.

Thanks again for any suggestions and information that is given. I want to be as prepared as possible!
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#2 of 13 Old 10-17-2009, 09:55 PM
 
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Welcome! And congratulations.

1. Everyone is differnet. Some chose not to tell anyone. I chose to be honest with people, and tell them outright if they inquired. My mom asked, I blatantly said we were having an unassisted homebirth. I wont lie - she freaked. We went to a baby fair soon after and she took me around to all the midwives and tried to make them convince me to change my mind (and they did try). You have to go with what feels comfortable for you. I didnt want to lie, and I knew I wouldnt be affected by their negativity. I knew, though, not to call my mom while in labour because then I think her negativity would have had an impact on me.

2. I LOVE LOVE LOVE http://www.unhinderedliving.com/childbirth.html I read all about variations of normal birth, supplies...everything here, If I had any further questions I just googled it and learned more. The supplies I personally chose to have on hand where: towels (I wish I had more..you can neve have enough), chux pads (which i also should have used more of..lol), sterilized stainless steel scissors, hemp cord to tie the cord, I had some herbs on hand, placenta out...and thats about it I think...

3. We didnt take a cpr class to prepare. My husband happened to take an extended first aid course that had infant cpr as a component for a work requirement - and it was handy. It also helped the negative people feel slightly more at ease...

4. see the above website.

5. It was never even a consideration or thought to us to rent an oxygen tank. IMO (mine only..) If you feel like you might need/want advanced supplies (like a tank) then UC might not be for you..if only because, Im really trying not to offend - just trying to get my belief across, if you are already approaching the birth from a medical standpoint, then how can you also approach it from a "free" or "unassisted" stand point. Im not conveying this the way I want...

6. I love the above site. I also downloaded gregory white's emergency childbirth handbook. I also wrote out some things that seemed important and made my own little handbook for my husband because I knew he wouldnt read everything I was.

HTH

Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013

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#3 of 13 Old 10-17-2009, 10:18 PM
 
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My mum and mil weren't thrilled by my HB's, so when we went UC again with this last (#4 was an unexpected UC, though it would have been along those lines anyway since we were in an area with no midwives and the HS families just took care of each other) we didn't tell them. They knew the baby would be born at home, assumed the midwife would be there so didn't ask questions and we didn't volunteer. I don't know if we would have UC'd if my midwife hadn't retired and I hadn't decided I didn't have a need for the new one in the area, but I'm glad we went that route. When we move, there will be midwives available there but if we had more kids we would go UC again.
So
1. We didn't tell them and they didn't ask. I'm sure they have a glimmer, but it's over and done with and everything was brilliant so they haven't wanted to upset the boat.
2. That's the way most people come up with the supplies they want there, just remember what they had previously at births and improvise depending on their needs. I believe The Birth Partner has a good list of items to have on hand in case of UC.
3. I'm a midwife so was already certified in neonatal resuscitation and recommend it for everyone.
4. Any good book (such as The Birth Partner) will have "Just in case" information. I definitely recommend reading anything you can get your hands on. Every birthing woman, no matter the circumstances, should be as educated as possible about what is happening with her body and what CAN happen during labor and delivery.
5. I own my O2 tank, but do not consider it necessary. It's smart to have the equipment for resuscitation on hand, but O2 doesn't necessarily have to be part of it. New studies actually make the case that it's better to use room air than straight O2.
6. Ina May's are good. I don't always agree with her, she used to be a bit interventionist in the old days, but they are wonderful resources to have on hand.
Anyway, hope this helps and feel free to PM me if you have any questions or would like a few suggestions for your supplies.
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#4 of 13 Old 10-18-2009, 11:51 AM
 
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1. So far we haven't told anyone except one friend who is very pro-UC (who may come "doula" for us ) I have this crazy urge to tell my mom and sister, but I really can't see it going well so I haven't given in yet. DEFINITELY not telling MIL who initially about had heart palpiations at the concept, but then our DD was born at HER house for our homebirth with MW so she did loosen up considerably (she was, however, THRILLED when we said we couldn't find a midwife this time around. So relieved that we'd be having this one in hospital, haha).

2. I'm like you- read some of everything and anything. Whenever a question came up in here that I wasn't sure about, or in a birth story, then I'd google it. I have looked at some of the sites that come highly recommended, but a lot of them were too (to borrow a friend's phrase) "hippie mcfree free" for my taste. I know how stupid that is, but I form a mental block to certain things.

I also think that "what you need" starts out as this HUGE giant list so you can be prepared for any eventuality, but the more in tune you get with your body and baby, and the more comfortable you become with the idea of UC the shorter your list gets. So far my list is: towels, plastic tablecloths, chux pads, birth pool, herbals to help get the placenta out and to control bleeding. Other things we'll have here already- scissors that can be sterilized for cord cutting, food, candles, music, RRL tea, etc.

3. DH is a lifeguard and I've done CPR courses in the last couple of years that focused on infants/children (babysitting stuff). I do think it's important to know what to do.

4. I've got a list of books I want to get through... as soon as we purchase access to the non-local library that actually CARRIES books! But again, a lot of web-based research is good too.

5. O2- nah. Studies show that room air is as good/better than O2.

6. A lot of the books you read for your homebirth would/could cross reference. UC is relatively "new" (in that, people are just starting to notice it happens!) so there aren't a lot of books and resources dedicated just to it. Just wherever the books say "midwife" replace that with "self, husband" or decide it's unnecessary and don't do it at all.

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#5 of 13 Old 10-18-2009, 01:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joyousbirther View Post

1. How did you handle telling your mother? <snip>
The first time, I didn't. I didn't tell anyone but my DP and my doula (IRL).
That worked out well. This time, I had some opposition/negativity from my mom as she directly confronted me and asked if I was going to UC again, and I had to tell her (or lie, which I wasn't comfortable doing).


Quote:
Originally Posted by joyousbirther View Post

2. What resource did you use, or can you tell me what you personally used, to figure out which supplies you wanted/needed at your UC? (I have a catalog from In His Hands birthing supply store and have already started trying to make list of what we'll need. I also know what we used during my daughter's homebirth too.)
As far as that goes, this forum has been a good resource for that.

here is a link: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...th+supply+list

Quote:
Originally Posted by joyousbirther View Post

3. Did you personally take an infant CPR class to prepare for your UC?
I have already had classes in CPR covering this, however, if I didn't, I would have.

Quote:
Originally Posted by joyousbirther View Post

4. Did you find a good resource for researching what could possibly go wrong, and how to handle those situations should they arise? (I do know what to do should shoulder dystocia occur, a prolapsed cord, and also if baby comes out blue/purple, but am wondering what else I should prepare myself for.)
some people like the purebirth australia website http://www.purebirth-australia.com

this also might be a place to start: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...+complications

Quote:
Originally Posted by joyousbirther View Post

5. Did you personally rent an oxygen tank for your UC? Is this something that most UCers believe should be on hand for their births?
No. There is an article about this here: http://www.homebirth.net.au/2008/04/...f-newborn.html

Quote:
Originally Posted by joyousbirther View Post

6. Are there any books, web sites, articles, etc., that you found to be of the utmost importance in preparing for your UC? (I read so many books and visited so many web sites when preparing for my homebirth with my daughter, including Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, which I found to be the most helpful.)
I like this website http://www.gentlebirth.org, esp. the search function. It is more for midwives than UC'ers but it has lots of info.

Also check out the UC resource thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=252628 - it has lots of good links.

As far as books go, I like Emergency Childbirth by Gregory White MD (check out UC resource thread for pdf file of this book) and Heart & Hands by Elizabeth Davis (a midwifery book).

Quote:
Originally Posted by joyousbirther View Post
My mom freaked when my daughter got stuck and came out not breathing on her own, and I know she'll freak if we UC.
IMHO, You need to think long and hard about this. Not just what your mom's reaction would be, but what you would do if your baby got stuck and came out not breathing - is this something you could handle on your own?

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#6 of 13 Old 10-18-2009, 02:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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IMHO, You need to think long and hard about this. Not just what your mom's reaction would be, but what you would do if your baby got stuck and came out not breathing - is this something you could handle on your own?
In all honesty, this is probably the one thing that has given me pause on doing this. I know what to do should this baby present with shoulder dystocia (since I went through it with my daughter), but the coming out and not breathing thing, at this point I do not know what to do. It's something that I would have to learn, research and prepare for. And that has probably been the thing that scares me the most. That and having a prolapsed cord. I do know what to do should that occur, it's just the having to do it part that freaks me out.

I can handle my mother's reaction, since I went through it with her over having a homebirth with a midwife (she really wasn't very happy about it, and then came around later on), but I wouldn't want her at the birth, or anyone else for that matter, if we UCd. It would just be me and my husband. (I should've clarified too when I said that I wouldn't be telling anyone else about going UC, I just meant not tell - don't offer up that information, I didn't mean lie. We have a strict no lying policy in our home, and that's something that I kind of pride myself on.)

Thank you very much to everyone for all of the links and information too. I really appreciate it! I will be checking it all out very soon.
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#7 of 13 Old 10-18-2009, 10:53 PM
 
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Something I've seen posted here (and that DH and I are discussing) is that should anything go wrong it's not just that YOU need to know what to do and be comfortable handling it, but your DH has to be comfortable as well. Because you can't get your hands in there to unstick the baby. That is a lot of responsibility to put on someone else on the eventuality that something happens.

I have heard stories of moms whose babies had sticky shoulders (not maybe a true SD, but sticky) and they knew what to do by instinct, so... IDK.

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#8 of 13 Old 10-22-2009, 05:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have heard stories of moms whose babies had sticky shoulders (not maybe a true SD, but sticky) and they knew what to do by instinct, so... IDK.
I have heard of this too. I watched that show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" on Discovery Health, and the woman said that she just knew somehow that her baby was stuck and that she reached up and rotated him and that he then slid right out.
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#9 of 13 Old 10-22-2009, 06:42 PM
 
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1. How did you handle telling your mother? Did you keep it a secret from everyone else?


It's a big secret here, my mother passed on about 11 years ago so no need to hind things there, but the rest of the family and ils all think I'm having a homebirth with a midwife.

2. What resource did you use, or can you tell me what you personally used, to figure out which supplies you wanted/needed at your UC?

This site. There's tons of links.

3. Did you personally take an infant CPR class to prepare for your UC?

Nope. I know the basics but I figure if the cord is pulsating it'll do that work for me. We also have a 2 min response time from the local police and paramedics JIC.

4. Did you find a good resource for researching what could possibly go wrong, and how to handle those situations should they arise?

Emergency childbirth is a great one

5. Did you personally rent an oxygen tank for your UC? Is this something that most UCers believe should be on hand for their births?

No, not alot of need imo. The chance of needing it is so slim and I'm untrained. Best to leave it to the pros.

6. Are there any books, web sites, articles, etc., that you found to be of the utmost importance in preparing for your UC?

I love Ina May. Heart and hands is also a good one.

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#10 of 13 Old 10-23-2009, 01:46 AM
 
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1. How did you handle telling your mother? Did you keep it a secret from everyone else?

I kept the truth from my mother saying that I could call the midwives when in labor and they would come. I never exactly lied to her, but I told her what would happen in a given situation, so she was led to believe that was the situation I was preparing for. But it wasn't. She still believes that the UC was an oops.

2. What resource did you use, or can you tell me what you personally used, to figure out which supplies you wanted/needed at your UC?

I basically only used a birth pool, the faucet adapter, chux pads and towels. We used a cord to tie the umbilical cords and newborn prefolds as mama cloth.

3. Did you personally take an infant CPR class to prepare for your UC?

Not really, the midwife's assistant did a refresher childbirth class with info relating to UC in it.

4. Did you find a good resource for researching what could possibly go wrong, and how to handle those situations should they arise?

MDC is great for resources like this.

5. Did you personally rent an oxygen tank for your UC? Is this something that most UCers believe should be on hand for their births?

I have yet to encounter a UCer who has an oxygen tank on hand. I wouldn't have done it because it was antithetical to my understanding of UC.

6. Are there any books, web sites, articles, etc., that you found to be of the utmost importance in preparing for your UC?

Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering by Sarah Buckley, Rediscovering Birth by Sheila Kitzinger, Born Free by Rixa Freeze her dissertation found at rixarixa.blogspot.com

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#11 of 13 Old 10-25-2009, 09:26 PM
 
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1. How did you handle telling your mother? Did you keep it a secret from everyone else? We did not tell anyone who we thought might not be supportive. To those who asked, I lied and said we had a private birth attendant (Unregistered Midwife). I did have one I could call and ask questions, so it was true when I said I had someone to call if I needed them. My mother found out after the birth but by then I had a healthy baby and she had nothing to worry about.

2. What resource did you use, or can you tell me what you personally used, to figure out which supplies you wanted/needed at your UC? I used a birth pool, lots of towels, some homeopathic remedies, and baby facecloths as perineum compresses.

3. Did you personally take an infant CPR class to prepare for your UC? No

4. Did you find a good resource for researching what could possibly go wrong, and how to handle those situations should they arise? Not particularly. We knew the most common things and planned to call 911 and/or transport if anything we couldn't deal with came up.

5. Did you personally rent an oxygen tank for your UC? Is this something that most UCers believe should be on hand for their births? No I did not. I don't think oxygen is used very often at all.

6. Are there any books, web sites, articles, etc., that you found to be of the utmost importance in preparing for your UC? no, but another one to add to the list of good reading is http://www.glorialemay.com/blog

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#12 of 13 Old 10-26-2009, 05:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serenyd View Post
The first time, I didn't. I didn't tell anyone but my DP and my doula (IRL).
That worked out well. This time, I had some opposition/negativity from my mom as she directly confronted me and asked if I was going to UC again, and I had to tell her (or lie, which I wasn't comfortable doing).




As far as that goes, this forum has been a good resource for that.

here is a link: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...th+supply+list



I have already had classes in CPR covering this, however, if I didn't, I would have.



some people like the purebirth australia website http://www.purebirth-australia.com

this also might be a place to start: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...+complications



No. There is an article about this here: http://www.homebirth.net.au/2008/04/...f-newborn.html



I like this website http://www.gentlebirth.org, esp. the search function. It is more for midwives than UC'ers but it has lots of info.

Also check out the UC resource thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=252628 - it has lots of good links.

As far as books go, I like Emergency Childbirth by Gregory White MD (check out UC resource thread for pdf file of this book) and Heart & Hands by Elizabeth Davis (a midwifery book).



IMHO, You need to think long and hard about this. Not just what your mom's reaction would be, but what you would do if your baby got stuck and came out not breathing - is this something you could handle on your own?
I love all the links. Way to go mama, especially with a newborn!
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#13 of 13 Old 10-26-2009, 07:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I could've promised that I had posted a thank you on this thread for all of the valuable information that everyone has shared with me, but alas, it's not here.

I took a day to pour over all of the links and everything that everyone shared, and then out of the blue had a friend who offered me tons of birthing supplies that were unused from her freebirth a month ago. It just all fell into place.

I'm now really excited about this, and am looking forward with great anticipation!

Thank you again to all who have responded. It's really helped me so much.

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