does unassisted childbrith equal unassisted pregnancy? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 12-05-2009, 08:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm looking at homebirthing my second child, and I'm more comfortable/relaxed about pregnancy now that I've been through it. But for some reason the idea of having no prenatal care makes me uncomfortable. I'm not judging anyone that has an unassisted pregnancy, I'm just not sure it's for me. However, if I cannot make it to a midwife I'm also pretty uncomfortable with having another c section if I can possibly avoid it. That mostly leaves me with ucing. I am comfortable with having a uc in and of itself, and then going to the hospital like, oopsie! I actually really considered that with my first pregnancy when they pressured me to induce. Has anyone does this, or had a provider okay with you ucing? Did anyone go to a few prenatal visits for general bloodwork, etc before going it on their own? I know I can do my own urine strips, and that ultrasounds often don't mean much, etc, and that this is basically just an issue with me not being ready to go there yet, so please don't think I'm saying unassisted pregnancy is bad.
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#2 of 18 Old 12-05-2009, 09:38 AM
 
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Lots of UC mamas get some form of professional prenatal care, for their own or partner's comfort, and to have backup if transfer becomes necessary. As far as I know, most do not discuss UC with our providers....just have an 'oops, birth happened too fast to call/come in' kind of UC (as far the the HCP knows, that is). Some homebirth mws will provide open UC support--some are dead set against it.

There are lots of varieties of UC. You get to be in charge of all decisions, to me that is what makes it UC.
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#3 of 18 Old 12-05-2009, 10:43 AM
 
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What MsBlack said... it is all about YOU being in charge. If you feel you need prenatal care, then do it. If you feel you don't, then don't! It is all up to you I had prenatal care with a group of CNMs because of a large ovarian cyst that caused pain and had to be checked on a few times to make sure it was getting smaller. Once I knew the cyst was gone, we also knew my son was a boy and completely healthy and normal physically. It was at that point that we switched to UP and had our UC. Good luck!

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#4 of 18 Old 12-05-2009, 11:29 PM
 
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I wanted a homebirth (which I didn't get - placenta previa), and considered UC, but UP scares the crap out of me. I think, nine times out of ten, a healthy woman can give birth alone and be fine, but I at least really wanted an expert opinion on whether I was one of those nine.

And because I wouldn't put it past most docs to lie and invent risks if I explained a plan to UC, I wouldn't hesitate to lie about my intention to come to the hospital.
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#5 of 18 Old 12-06-2009, 01:49 AM
 
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I have prenatal care and then UC. This pgcy, I have had extensive prenatal care. I do NOT tell my care provider that I am having a HB though, because they WILL discharge me from their practice (as most any doctor will for liability reasons).

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#6 of 18 Old 12-06-2009, 02:24 AM
 
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I agree with MsBlack, also. I am going to all my regular prenatals, because insurance pays for it 100 percent anyway, and I am just acting as if I plan to come to the hospital. Since this is my second HB and first UC, it's actually taken some pressure off of my OB visits, since I know that I won't be likely to be at the hospital at all I just go through the check-ups as if I agree with everything and act like I love it at the OB office, and it makes me less stressed than when I felt like I had to fight for everything I wanted and defend myself all the time. It's a pretty far out paradox: when I wanted their care I was stressed about it not being good enough, and now that I don't care about the OB my visits are as stress-free as they could be.

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
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#7 of 18 Old 12-06-2009, 02:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gabeyho View Post
It's a pretty far out paradox: when I wanted their care I was stressed about it not being good enough, and now that I don't care about the OB my visits are as stress-free as they could be.
That is really how it is, too!

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#8 of 18 Old 12-08-2009, 03:32 AM
 
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I'm having some prenatal care - and have a back up hospital all set with a relationship with a good doc in place. They have no idea and it will be an "oops, she came too fast!" kind of birth. I feel fine with this. I am ultimately responsible for my birth, and feel very equipped at home to handle things along with my husband. However, I do really appreciate the prenatal care - I have them do my blood pressure, urinalysis, bloodwork, and ultrasounds (which I am not really loving, but it was part of what is making us comfortable enough to UC this first time - I do love knowing I am having a girl though!) - and they are providing Rhogam and O- blood in the wings for me in case I need a transfusion (it's so rare in China they have to order it ahead and we have to pay for it to be available!).

So no UC does not equal UP in our case... but many women do a lot of prenatal care on their own and sort of become their own midwives, from what I understand. I would be open to this in the future, perhaps with one ultrasound in the middle - and a back up hospital to transfer to.

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#9 of 18 Old 12-08-2009, 03:40 PM
 
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#1 I had full OB prenatal care and acted like I'd be birthing at the hospital. The asked me after if I had planned to birth at home and I told them 'yes, but I didn't want to be judged for it so i kept my plans private.' What could they do at that point?

#2 I felt I shouldn't have to lie and I disclosed my plans at my first OB appt (different ins. different dr) I was refused care, and referred to a "High Risk OB" (all we can figure is that she carried higher malpractice insurance cause my pregnancy was NOT highrisk) which was a crock but I went to most of my appts anyway.

#3 different insurance again. saw a group of midwives who were aware of my plans and I got a few annoying lectures at first, then alot of "you're so brave"s but mostly it was a good experience! If i had any more kids (not in the plans) I'd consider going UP, as I've had very healthy pregnancies but I'm not sure I'd be ready to give up the 20wk ultrasound... I do find that info very valuable...

-Lia

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#10 of 18 Old 12-10-2009, 04:47 PM
 
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I was becoming dissatisfied with my MW around 32 weeks and beginning to worry that she was going to be a big interference at the birth. Up until that point I had been planning a HB, so I had regular prenatal appointments, some basic bloodwork, etc. As my vision of the birth began to really solidify, I brought up my feelings with my MW and she refused my requests. So, we have decided to UC. I wish that we could have worked out a back up situation with my MW, but the environment around here (Maryland) is so hostile toward HB MW's that she flat out refused. So, since I had already shared my UC plans with her, there was no going back to an "oops, we didn't call you in time" birth. So it goes! She is allowing me to rehire her after the birth (once the placenta is out and it's been a few hours at least) for a postpartum check, which will include filling out the birth certificate (a good thing not to have to worry about!).

So, that means from now until the birth we will be UP, but honestly since I'll be full term in a few days, this doesn't worry me at all. In fact, it will be nice not to be weighed and measured and lectured about not falling on the proper linear growth curve! But, when you think about it, if you plan to decline most or all prenatal testing (sono, glucose tolerance, anemia, GBS, etc.), you don't have high blood pressure issues (even if you do, just get a blood pressure cuff), and you maintain a nutritious diet then, IMO, really the only reason for prenatal appointments is relationship building with your provider. If you plan to UC, then that relationship really isn't important (unless s/he is available as back up).

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#11 of 18 Old 12-10-2009, 10:18 PM
 
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I think its whatever you feel comfortable with! No matter what you plan on you have to be comfortable and if going to a dr or midwife makes you feel more comfortable then do that! I admire the women who do it all themselves and I wish I could be that confident but I REALLY enjoy my visits with my midwife so I am continuing that for now. I am also doing dual care with an OB just until I get my "big" u/s and then I will stop with the OB. I did that last pregnancy and just continued care with my HB midwife. I don't tell my OB anything about UC'ing but I will tell him in the next appt or so that I will stop care to go back to my homebirth mw and he is cool enough to not rant at me too much about it.

I DID tell my homebirth mw that I am planning on UC'ing...she is not going to deliver me because we are moving so she is just doing my pre-natal care up until our move...and she was SOO EXCITED and happy to hear that I am planning on UC'ing! I was so suprised!!
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#12 of 18 Old 12-11-2009, 01:02 AM
 
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I use shadow care while pregnant many times. I agree with not telling the provider because they will drop you like a hot potatoe. They claim liability but I can not figure out how that is possible. I certainly can not sue them for not being at my home when I give birth. I could only sue them for things THEY do not things I do.

Any ways . . .

My last pregnancy I had shadow care for the majority of my pregnancy but I spaced my appointments out longer than what they said. If Doctor said 4 weeks I'd make them 6 weeks. If doctor said 2 weeks I'd make it 4 weeks. I'd have my next appointment date set in my head before going to the counter and then just specify the day of the next appointment. They never have a problem with that.

I also don't usually start my appointments until I am past 12 weeks in my pregnancy. Before that point they really can't do much of anything and I don't believe early ultrasounds are safe either.

DH would like to do a longer stint of shadow care this time because I had surgery in April and because I am 34. Me I am not so sure just yet. I'd prefer making my first appointment when I turn 16 weeks so I can get the ultrasound done "sooner" and then maybe 1 or 2 appointment after that and then just dropping the OB. But we'll see if I can make it past the first trimester first and then go from there. I do know I need bloodwork done though.

I have had completely unassisted pregnancies and births too. Babies were surprises and we did all of our own prenatal care. I don't think my outcomes were any different from the OB cared pregnancies either.

It's all your decision though and I don't think shadow care detracts from a UC in any way. If anything you have an established relationship with an OB in case of emergency.

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#13 of 18 Old 12-15-2009, 05:12 PM
 
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I am gonna reply because I often find myself wondering why I am seeing a MW now that we have decided for an UC! lol

For me I guess the main thing is all the stuff that follows the birth (such as the birth certificate, etc) - and some goodies we get whilst pregnant in this country. I am sure there are ways to sort those things out without having had/seen a MW (we all get MWs here in the UK) - but in the end, I think it just makes it easier! lol

I don't really feel I will need a 'backup' - cause I think that might lead me to negative thinking will might bring about negative outcomes - but it is kinda nice to know that I will have that service available to me if I should need it.

I don't plan on telling her though. I will just call her after its all done and over with and she can sort the rest out from there as it is not illegal to have an UC but would be illegal for her to not act upon knowing I am in labour - so best she just doesn't know! lol

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#14 of 18 Old 12-15-2009, 06:37 PM
 
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I saw a midwife for regular prenatal care and then had a UC. Afterwards (I saw her for followups) she asked if it was on purpose, since I may end up having to do the same thing again (if I still live in this state next time I get pregnant) so I said it was not, but I suspected that it might happen which is why I had some birth supplies on hand. I am pretty sure she doesn't believe me, but I know that her practice (they are managed by both doctors and the administration of the adjacent hospital) would probably not let her take me as a patient if that is my plan so I feign innocence.
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#15 of 18 Old 12-15-2009, 07:25 PM
 
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Like everyone else said, it's up to you. Last time I found my mw late in my pregnancy and I bluntly told her "I'd rather have this baby at home alone than in a hospital, and honestly, I feel very comfortable with it." She asked me a few questions and then told me I had read and researched enough that I could probably pull it off. She completely supports UC. I think she was actually surprised that I knew so much for never being pregnant before and that I was so okay with the idea.

Look at your state laws as far as MWs go. Some states do not allow CPMs but do allow CNMs. In this case, you are more likely to find a mw okay with UC if you find a CPM. (Pennsylvania is like that - or was - and my mw is a CPM. The state tried to give her a "cease and decease" order for "practicing medicine without a license". She told them she wasn't practicing without a license because she wasn't practicing medicine. She won.) It may also help you to find someone who is either very religious or primarily works with religious people - like Mennonites and Amish. Their clients tend to lean more toward UCs (you know, the whole "it's in God's hands" thing) so the mws tend to be more okay with it. (another reason my mw is awesome. Her clientele is 95% Amish.)

Of course, that's all if you want to be up front and honest with your provider. If it doesn't matter to you whether or not they know your true intentions, then just find whomever your comfortable with.

Good Luck!!

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#16 of 18 Old 12-19-2009, 05:49 PM
 
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I'm seeing a midwife and while we were still on the fence about UCing until about a week ago, I think we've decided to go ahead with it. I cannot spend a grand out of pocket to possibly have a midwife there (I have fast labors and a history of midwives not getting there until I've been waiting forEVER to push). My fiance really wanted to UC anyway and when I said I'd made up my mind that we were, he was happy.

I'll still be seeing my midwife until the end but I'm not going to mention it. She does know that the money thing is hard for us and offered to do prenatal care and then have us just go to the hospital/switch to OB care at the very end, so maybe I'll just tell her that. I mean, if I have something go wrong, I'll be doing that anyway. I'd actually just switch to UP now but I am measuring small and want to keep up on that-if I continue, she'll be sending me out for an US and possibly refer me to an OB (if the US results come back badly).

All most of us want is what is best for our baby's! If you're worried about not having a HCP in pregnancy, by all means see one

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#17 of 18 Old 12-21-2009, 12:20 AM
 
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i saw the midwives for my prenatal care (and right at the end an OB too just in case i ended up at the hospital ) but was planing a UBAC almost right from the get go. I dont think you have to do all or nothing. the prenatal checks made me feel like i was as informed as i could be so i could go ahead and do a UB

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#18 of 18 Old 12-28-2009, 04:02 PM
 
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My dh and I have become recently dissinchanted with our mw. My dh is a super active involved dad and she has sort of said she wishes dads would just sit on the couch and watch tv while she does her thing.
This is not so cool with us so we are now thinking that a UC is what would be best for us at this point. We have a little more than a week to go before D day. So we figure, why not. I got what I wanted, which was the prenatal care and now we are getting the private and intimate birth that we have frequently talked about. Instead of telling the midwife that we just didn't call her in time, we are going to tell her that we no longer want her services from here on out.
We do have a 3 year old so we are asking trusted friends to come and occupy her just in case. We also feel like a second set of hands can't be a bad thing either. That may make it not a UC but I'd rather have those two friends here just in case I need to hold my dh's hand and also need a snack or something.
Good luck to you!
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