For those who chose to UC, what were your reasons for doing so? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 02-17-2010, 04:54 PM
 
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I had both of my sons in the hospital. My second one was nonmedicated and supposed to be all natural and peaceful. I had a midwife deliver him at the hospital but even though I had expressed all my concerns to her about how I wanted to birth and so on...that was all thrown out the window when I got to the hospital. No one would listen to me or what I wanted. I pushed him out laying on my back in all sorts of pain. They gave me pitocin RIGHT after...I didnt find out til I had a load of it in me already. They took my baby within 30 minutes of me having him and he was completely healthy and normal. My midwife manually detached my placenta which caused a little more than normal bleeding they said...although I thought it was MUCH less than what I had had with my first son so who knows! I am 9 weeks prego now but hubby and I have been talking about a homebirth for a long time now. After watching the business of being born I was convinced I truly wanted an unassisted birth. My husband will be deployed when baby is born so my best friend and mother will be there with me. Who better to help you birth right? Two women who have been through just what you are going through. Plus I dont want to be in a hospital without a voice...Even though I have an OB I trust with my life. I dont trust that my birthing plan will be respected in a hospital. They try and will control everything. I have already researched herbs I will need and supplies Im also working on becoming a certified doula so I have a textbook with a lot of things about emergency stuff..Im so inspired by all of your stories and I cant WAIT to share mine!
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#32 of 38 Old 02-18-2010, 01:07 AM
 
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It's hard to nail it down...so many reasons, so many little paths in life making their mark...

First, I think my parents had a big influence on me. When I was pregnant I still had to work through the options and come to my own decision, but the fact that I had options is definitely b/c of my childhood with them. I'm the product of an extremely traumatic, psychotic birth. People often disbelieve me when they get the details. After 2 more traumatic births, my mom left the hospital for good.

She considered a HB dr and a HB CNM b/c that was the law. But ended up feeling the same "vibe" from them. She to this day calls it a "hospital birth in your bedroom." So she did the "call him too late" method.

After that, they went on to have 7 more UC in a different state. A couple times transferring for stitches.

So I had a very open idea of birthing, and I was already clued into the hazards of hospitals/OBs by the time I was pregnant.

Still, I found myself almost unwilling to accept that OBs could be so bad. Despite loving the idea of an UC (especially being Catholic and reading Moran's book!) I found myself on this adventure to prove that an OB could be nice, that a hospital could have a good outcome. Looking back, I think I was responding to my friends. They all had hospital births and they all swore up and down that their OBs were great. (e.g. I remember being chastized on FB for posting the obstetrician song).

And so began, in my 1st trimester, a round of interviews, internet research, phone calls and a prenatal appt. Midwives were illegal. I couldn't find any CNMs. I couldn't find a birth center near me. I checked out a few OBs. My jaw dropped many times. (If you don't cut the cord soon enough the baby will explode BTW). I noticed a name pop up frequently surrounding "natural" birth and waterbirth. One doctor in my state, at one hospital, "allowed" water labor. No birth. First come first served basis for 2 in hospital pools.

So I scheduled an appt. with her. And got a strange, unjustifiable, unexplainable urge to run. I literally had a panic attack in that waiting room. I have never felt such a thing before but I certainly wasn't going to ignore it. I had no explanation whatsoever. But I left. DH saw me shaking and just said, "let's go."

Anyways, after that I planned an UC and we almost made it. DD was malpositioned and we called in an UG MW who helped turn her head and showed DH how to move her past the pubic bone. I didn't get my waterbirth either b/c I had to put so much effort into pushing, I couldn't maintain a comfortable position in the pool.

Everyone was fine afterwards and it left with me a stronger desire to UC. Looking back, I see several things I didn't want, things that give me a feeling of invasion. The MW was a wonderful person and I could tell she was experienced. I would call on her in an instant if I felt we needed a professional.

But something in my personality wants to birth alone. At this point, it's not related to any outside influences. The insanity of the medical industry, friends, my parents, none of that really matters to me at this point. I just feel an intense, deep desire to be with my husband and DD, in our home, birthing our child. When I play out the scenario, I see us, quiet, in darkness, holding baby #2 in the pool.

Can't explain it.

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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#33 of 38 Old 02-18-2010, 01:30 AM
 
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I uc'd my third.

Firstborn was hospital birth, induction due to prom. It was short and relatively easy, as far as induction goes, but the whole hospital ticket (and the resulting breastfeeding issues) was just not what I'd wanted.

Had a CNM attended homebirth with my second. Had a pph, significant enough that I passed out & required fluids, pit, and methergine. It was days before I could get out of bed, and weeks before I could stay up all day. I felt like the hemorrhage started when the nurse (the one I didn't like was on call) handed off 3rd stage to the green student. I said the placenta was coming, the student asked me to wait until she got the clamp on the cord. I remember her criticizing my baby's umbilical cord as being "too thick." That contraction passed, and I still hadn't passed the (detached) placenta. No one realized it might be a problem. The next contraction came several minutes later, and the placenta was followed by a huge gush that just didn't stop. I remember very little of the immediate postpartum--except that once I felt the bp cuff and heard the nurse say 60/40.

Initially, I felt great about my second birth. I felt like the midwives responded well to a crisis and kept me at home, even though it was a dicey decision (in hindsight, I needed blood, and they should have taken me in for some.) After I learned a little more (I became a doula & a student of birth) and processed it for a bit (years, actually,) I came around to thinking that maybe the pph was iatrogenic. I was angry, furious, for a while. I felt like I had traded my instinct for expertise, and as a result I lost my immediate post-partum, and started out parenting a newborn and a feisty two year old from a seriously compromised position.

Six years after the pph, I got pregnant again. I knew the type of practitioner I wanted, and I knew what would be a good philosophical match for me. I got lucky in that there was a practitioner with both qualifications in my city--unfortunately, we just didn't have the chemistry.

I hired her anyway. After a couple of prenatals, I realized it just wasn't going to work. I knew I could construct the bubble I needed to connect with my baby and listen to my body (a requirement for a safe birth,) but I just didn't want to do that extra work in labor. So I had a hard talk with the midwife. She agreed to be on call for me, should I come up with anything that made me uneasy.

It worked out great. I did end up calling her (had a bad doula experience--the worst--when I was 32 wks) & she came, said what she needed to say, and then backed right off. She drew me a bath, helped dh clean up, checked the baby at my request, and left.

I am not planning on any more babies (dh had a vas,) but if I were, as much as I loved my uc, I would not just plan another one. I would have to make the decision again.

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#34 of 38 Old 02-18-2010, 05:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyelms View Post
wow, serenyd, your UC w/ your dd sounds like a dream. that would be my next ideal birth at this point, but likely not realistic.

and editing to just say, in regards to birth hi's, i was on mine for the full year following mine. <3 it may have something to do w/ my being preoccupied w/ wanting another right away, when never before had i felt that way.
I remember when Jude was born! Congrats on being pregnant again! I wanted another right away after Caden was born, too. Having two close together has been an experience - Kind of like birth - hard but rewarding!

 nak.gif Mommy to fencing.gifKai 2/03, hammer.gifCaden 1/08, energy.gif Kara 10/09, angel1.gif 3/21/13, &

rainbow1284.gif baby.gif  Cole 2/3/14 ♡ Happily unmarried to geek.gif Papa since 2002 ♡

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#35 of 38 Old 02-18-2010, 05:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lightinmyhands View Post
Ucing was the right thing for my animal to do.
Love that!

(I think that sometimes we feel pressured to intellectualize our decision to UC, and really it's just a natural thing to want to do)

 nak.gif Mommy to fencing.gifKai 2/03, hammer.gifCaden 1/08, energy.gif Kara 10/09, angel1.gif 3/21/13, &

rainbow1284.gif baby.gif  Cole 2/3/14 ♡ Happily unmarried to geek.gif Papa since 2002 ♡

~We may not have it all together  but together we have it all~ uc.jpgsaynovax.gifgoorganic.jpgintactivist.giflactivist.gif 

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#36 of 38 Old 02-18-2010, 06:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serenyd View Post
(I think that sometimes we feel pressured to intellectualize our decision to UC, and really it's just a natural thing to want to do)
I've been lurking here, b/c I'm trying to figure out how to answer the people who ask why I want to UC, as if I'd be crazy to want that. The idea just feels right to me (no babies yet, but planning to start TTC soon, and talking to DH about UC). Now I'm trying to figure out my answer to WHY?
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Ru , wife to DH . Astin (4/26/10) & Ember (5/19/10).
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#37 of 38 Old 02-19-2010, 12:16 AM
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right. it just seemed right to me. i intellectualized after. LOL
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#38 of 38 Old 02-19-2010, 03:16 PM
 
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I haven't had my UC YET but I'm trying my hardest to make sure I do
Why consider a UC now?
My first two births were in the hospital and were horrible experiences for me.
I had a horrific induction with my 1st (5 days of cervidel and pitocen with no food or pain relief) by the time I did give birth to him my body and spirit were so battered that I failed at breast feeding and had a very long very hard recovery.
My second ended up in an "emergency" c-section because my daughter was frank breech, the who experience of being section was barbaric to me, how anyone can call being stripped naked in front of a full OR, strapped down crucifixion style, paralyzed from the chest down and cut open all while being awake and aware a "routine" procedure I just can't comprehend.
Medically I healed well without incident, emotionally the experience still haunts me.
I'm now pregnant with my third and had already decided to have a VBAC without ANY intervention during birth. The i couldn't find an OB that did VBAC, the only hospital here has a ban on them and there are no practicing midwives in my area.
We had the choice of either submitting to completely unnecessary surgery, going to the hospital and doing battle by refusing surgery and interventions (at the risk of dealing with pissed off staff and the possibility of being sectioned against my will) or staying home and having a UC.
The more we researched and talked about it the more we felt like UC was the best option for us.
Since my husband and I decided to go this route the nightmares I've been having about being sectioned against my will have stopped and I feel a tremendous amount of peace about the situation.
Not to mention the fact that my husband is 100% supportive of UC, the same man who NEVER in a MILLION years would have agreed to a homebirth with my other two (almost passed out when our first was crowning) has made a complete 180 on his perceptions of birth and is now reading up, trusts my body and is prepared to help me deliver his baby in our home.
If that's not a sign i don't know what is!!!
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