First-time mom, wanting unassisted childbirth! - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-25-2010, 08:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey!

I have joined here in hopes that I can find some support and advice in planning an unassisted homebirth!

I was planning to have my little boy at a birth center, but was informed that they will more than likely send me to the hospital.

The reason is that I am technically in the obese range.

I am perfectly healthy in every other way, except for the fact that I have too much poundage. I started out at 225 pounds, lost 15 and have stayed at 210 so far. My diet is very balanced.

I will not have my baby in a hospital and I am attempting to do all I can not to develop gestational diabetes and preeclampsia.

I always wanted to have an unassisted homebirth, but now I'm thinking I will actually do it.

I started studying childbirth at the age of 17. I am now 22 and know all the risks involved, and feel that this is the best choice for me.

I am also doing the hypnobabies home study course (Just started at 22 weeks, 23 weeks now)

I am married to a great man, and he will naturally be present. What I'm thinking is to stay with the birth center for all the check-ups etc. and secretly prepare to do everything at home and then just not inform them of the birth until afterwards. Sneaky, yes. But it's the best idea I can come up with.

Finding a midwife to attend sounds too tricky and too expensive.
So, like I said, any and all information regarding other unassisted births and also, ways that worked for others in preventing GD and preeclampsia, I want all the help I can get!

Thanks!!!
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Old 07-25-2010, 09:08 PM
 
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I started this pregnancy in the 180s (not sure exact amount) and am now 211. I've gained way more weight this time than with my dd but no problems and was tested neg. for GD. Best thing I can say is to just really watch your diet and know of the warning signs for GD if you are worried about it. This is my first UC so I don't know the ins and outs but I don't see why being obese would opt you out of the birth center if you would rather do that. Maybe something to track and ask them about?

Jade, momma to Ariana 5/23/06 and Trystan 9/28/10
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Old 07-25-2010, 11:34 PM
 
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There are many moms on the Bornfree site who can relate & help you.

For My Website, Blog & Primal Pregnancy Tips: See my Profile Page!

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Old 07-25-2010, 11:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovestolearn View Post
There are many moms on the Bornfree site who can relate & help you.
I tried to join the site twice but was never sent a confirmation email.

I emailed Laura Shanley but who knows when/if she'll get back to me.

I also tried to join a group on cafemom and I have never heard back if I was approved or not, and there is no sign that I'm pending approval or anything.

I keep hitting walls! lol This is the first website I was able to join and find other unassisted birthers!!

*sigh*
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Old 07-26-2010, 12:03 AM
 
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We also planned a sneaky UC. We took Bradley Method classes, became great friends with our teacher (who is a doula). We hired her as our doula. It was beautiful, relaxed and wonderful. Most of labor was just my DH and I then she came at the end.

My suggestions would be to think about all the things you want. Do you have a way to weigh and measure the baby right away if that is important to you?Do you want video or pictures? Be prepared. Put together your birth kit. I had a really great list from our doula. I did have a bag packed just in case we had to go to the hospital.

I also suggest calling ahead to find out how to get a birth certificate where you live. We had very limited time to get this done. I just called and asked what if we didn't make it to the hospital in time how I would get a birth certificate. They gave me the phone number to call the lady who sent out the paperwork we had to sign and DH drove to the office to return it. I called as soon as our baby was born and we just made the deadline.


You sound like me. I did so much research I think I was more edjucated than my Dr about some things. My best advice is trust your body.

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Old 07-26-2010, 02:56 AM
 
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I dont have a ton of experience as i have never UC'd before but i can tell you i am currently 33 weeks with my 4th baby and i started out at 284 (so MUCH more than you did) and have gained a total of about 4lbs now.. but i generally stay around this weight until birth.. any way... i have never even been close to having gestational diabetes or pre eclampsia.. weight is not the number one factor.... if you have a history of high blood pressure or trouble regulating your blood sugar it may be something to look in to more... but if you dont i dont think your chances will be any higher than any one else. Shadow care is a great idea for a first time mom.. that way if a problem does occur you will be taken care of.... though i am questioning your providers abilities if they think you would need to transfer to the hospital just because you are overweight... i would make sure your partner is 100% on board and gets as educated as possible. Also make sure you have a plan and are prepared if for any reason you need to go to the hospital or birth center durring your labor. As long as you are prepared and have a solid plan in place you should have a good outcome! i hope you have your dream birth

Amanda~ mommy to Brayden (06/05), Noah (08/07), Alex (11/08), Lucy (09/10) and Kara (10/12)
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Old 08-01-2010, 05:27 AM
 
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Both of my kiddos have been UC. Yes, even my first. I was considered obese at the time, with my first, and then underweight with my second, and now with my 3rd. My weight never entered into anything, even when I was seeing a Midwife. I too, have studied Midwifery, and worked under my Aunt for a great many years, she practiced for over 20 years. Trust your heart, and follow that, Mama!
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Old 08-02-2010, 01:38 AM
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it sounds to me that you are grounded in this process and feel good about it. i also birthed my first unassisted, and so i do think it is safe for first-timers!

i don't know that i would follow the advice in the article (touchingt he baby's head, etc during birth), because you really don't NEED an attendant. besides, my guy was posterior when he came out, so it would be the wrong instruction for that. but anyway, it's a good article about not panicing and such.
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Old 08-03-2010, 08:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies.

I'm feeling SO good about this decision.

On my very first appointment with the midwives I asked specifically if my weight would affect the birth any differently than if I was thin, and they said, "No, not at all. Just don't gain more than 25 pounds."

That was pretty much a bold-faced lie lol.

Now, even if I could afford or find a midwife, I don't think I want one.

I keep trying to explain to my mom how I feel (she is supportive, but I realize she doesn't trust completely in my own abilities). It's a natural thing I guess, the feeling she has that she will have to swoop in and save the day. I keep trying to gently let her know that she won't have to. We are adults!


I feel like I am doing an amazing thing for my son, in making this decision. Not just because I think it is the safest and most peaceful way for him to come into the world, but also because this way I have to give every ounce of my being entirely to this experience. I have no second to be lazy in preparing, or to give anything over to any midwife. It is entirely up to me, and I think that is EXACTLY how it should be, at least in my situation.

I would LOVE to hear birth stories of first time moms who did it unassisted.

I am told over and over that it's not a good idea because I don't know what it's like, but because I'm doing it this way I have to be as knowledgeable as humanly possible (not just in what could go wrong, but also when and how to just let go) and I think if I was doing it anywhere else I would not be so on top of it.

Seeing moms on those shows on TV (I have stopped watching them, btw) made quite an impression on me, how important it should be to every mom to KNOW what's going on.

So many act like a spectator, not the one in charge. Even on those accidental births (I didn't know I was pregnant, etc.) even for moms who already had children, their ignorance was staggering to me.

It's late and I'm rambling....anyway.............
I'm so grateful I made this decision and now I simply can't IMAGINE doing it any other way!
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Old 01-08-2011, 01:38 PM
 
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Did you have the UC yet, or are you near to it? This was a great thread, found it as I looked for unassisted births.  Any information on unassisted births I am reading that is positive and helpful. It will be my first birth, but since I am an older mom, I want the opportunity to bring my child in the world without any doctor intervention unless an emergency comes up, after we are already into it.  I'm not pregnant yet, but I am preparing for it. I hope you come back and share your experience!

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Old 01-08-2011, 04:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BarcleysMom View Post

Did you have the UC yet, or are you near to it? This was a great thread, found it as I looked for unassisted births.  Any information on unassisted births I am reading that is positive and helpful. It will be my first birth, but since I am an older mom, I want the opportunity to bring my child in the world without any doctor intervention unless an emergency comes up, after we are already into it.  I'm not pregnant yet, but I am preparing for it. I hope you come back and share your experience!



She certainly did : ) If you click on her name you can view all her posts....one is something like "I'm over my darn due date" and the other is her birth story for her son "Wolfgang" and I'm pretty sure that they are all here on the UC board.

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Old 01-25-2011, 12:33 PM
 
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This is really helpful.  I am seriously tempted to have an "oops" UC.  I had been informed that my insurance covered the birth center before I got pregnant, only to be told that they don't anymore.  I have to birth at a hospital, and I get whatever OB is on call when I go into labour!  My mother managed four natural birth in a hospital, but I am really stressed about fighting all those hospital policies.  

 

My husband would be supportive of it, I am just scared that something would go wrong!  I do live two seconds from a hospital (but not one my insurance works with).  There is no way we can afford a midwife, and maybe not even a doula.

 

I guess I will kept up with the prenatal visits, and decide after I do my hospital tours.


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