I am getting closer and more nervous. Trying to get in a more positive train of thought. I am dealing with so much negativity and am trying not to let it seep into my birth plans. I wish my DH was here. He is always so positive. Everyone that knows me asks the question, "So your having it at the hospital this time, right?" My reply is, "I am prepared to have the baby at the hospital..got all the paperwork and everything done." So family and everyone believe I am having this baby at the hospital. Had last three at home. The youngest was UC.
My last Dr. appt. didn't go so well. They informed me that they scheduled an automatic induction for Tuesday the 17th and the only reason they gave is, "because it is "standard" procedure for gestational diabetes. They always induce at 39 weeks!"
She also rambled off about large baby and stillbirth(I hate scare tactics)..even though people who have numbers under control without meds have the same chance of stillbirth as people without gestational diabetes. She even confirmed this. My family has consistently delivered 8-10.5lb babies. Not concerned about large babies." I am not on meds and am keeping my numbers were they should be. All NST's, ultrasounds, and other stats are, based on mine and Dr.'s opinion, "excellent!".
So now I have canceled the rest of my Dr. appts. and am on my own from here on out. Due on the 23rd. Trying to clear my mind of fears so that I can base my birth decisions on intuition not fear. I don't mind going to the hospital if I need to, but I would rather not!
I have done way more research and preparation this pregnancy, because of the diagnoses, but still remain unsure. I know it is partly due to the fact that their is absolutely no support from anyone, but my DH this time and he may or may not be here.(Army) Hoping this baby decides to come on a weekend so he can be here. The other reason is everyone that knows me and my previous birth choices feels it is their responsibility to tell me horror stories and all the "what ifs". Of course then I look up the stuff on the internet to see what I would do in the "what if situation" and just succeed in increasing my anxiety!
I am having a lot of cramping and BHX contractions. Lots of pressure on the cervix. I feel like this baby might be a few days early just like my other babes. EDD 08/23
If anyone has POSITIVE stories or advice about how they dealt with the "what if fears" I would greatly appreciate it.