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#1 of 7 Old 08-18-2010, 04:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Why do I have to keep this to myself? Why is my desire to birth at home with no help such a "dangerous" thing? This isn't my first trip into pregnancy, labor, or birth. I've had 3 easy vaginal deliveries and I think the odds are pretty good my fourth one will be just as easy.


I've already been told that my child will suffer trauma and need therapy because if I birth alone I'll probably die...or my unborn daughter.

Do people forget we did this alone for a long time? Long before the advent of OBs and hospitals...even before midwives? Women and babies died, yes, but most women were ignorant of their own bodies and the entire process.

I've read. I've researched. I've experienced birth three times now.

Why do people not trust my trust in my body?

/vent
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#2 of 7 Old 08-18-2010, 04:41 PM
 
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I am totally in the same boat as you! My mother keeps calling me and asking me about "what if this" and "what if that". I just think that most people give absolute power to doctors and medicine instead of giving the power to their body and mind. I KNOW that my body can birth a baby, that is what God made me for. Most people just dont trust in themselves. I live 3 hours from my family and I just decided to tell them that I am having the baby at the hospital, I dont want their negative thinking to hinder my calm attitude about birth. I also will not be calling anyone to be with me and DH while I am in labor. I like you have researched and planned, I will birth my baby my way without interference.
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#3 of 7 Old 08-18-2010, 04:42 PM
 
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Maybe I shouldn't reply because I don't UC (support it, but I chose homebirth midwife). But I really hear you anyway, there are some choices I am working on making in my life right now that everyone is acting the same way about.

I know it's because they simply haven't gone down the path that I have at all. They are starting from Square One. They haven't been in my head over the past X years (and yes, it's a process of YEARS - maybe even my whole life, really) that got me where I am right now. I am not making the standard choices, and they don't question their standard choices at all but just freak out (or, at least, "have serious concerns") when I am making extremely reasoned, rational, researched decisions.

From their point of view, I've just dived off the deep end. From my point of view, I've turned into an amphibian. And they just didn't notice.

That probably didn't make any sense but anywhere, here's support for ya, sister.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#4 of 7 Old 08-18-2010, 04:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ameliasmommy07 View Post
I am totally in the same boat as you! My mother keeps calling me and asking me about "what if this" and "what if that". I just think that most people give absolute power to doctors and medicine instead of giving the power to their body and mind. I KNOW that my body can birth a baby, that is what God made me for. Most people just dont trust in themselves. I live 3 hours from my family and I just decided to tell them that I am having the baby at the hospital, I dont want their negative thinking to hinder my calm attitude about birth. I also will not be calling anyone to be with me and DH while I am in labor. I like you have researched and planned, I will birth my baby my way without interference.
I'm in a limbo right now. I have an OB doing my care and have kind of just let everyone assume I'm birthing at the hospital. My husband is against UC but only because it's not what he's used to. He's not opposed to homebirth but I can't find an attendant to take me this late (I'm 26 weeks) so he wants me to have our daughter in a hospital. The ones around me are too far away or booked already. It's been a bit of a fighting point for us right now. He knows I'm going to end up doing what I want regardless and his viewpoints concerning a woman's body doesn't make it unethical for me to do what I want regardless of what he says. It just makes it easier to do what I want when I know he isn't being slightly disapproving. Argh.

Eh. I'm having some problems with my blood pressure at the moment so right now it's all a toss up anyways. I only want to UC if my body is healthy enough for it so I do hope it evens out. As of right now, they want to induce me at 38/39 weeks for the same reason I want to do UC: my labors are fast.

I've done an epi free Pit birth. I'm 100% certain I can handle natural labor. lol

But thanks! It's good to know I'm not alone. Everyone else around me seems to think I'm crazy.
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#5 of 7 Old 08-18-2010, 04:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by laohaire View Post
Maybe I shouldn't reply because I don't UC (support it, but I chose homebirth midwife). But I really hear you anyway, there are some choices I am working on making in my life right now that everyone is acting the same way about.

I know it's because they simply haven't gone down the path that I have at all. They are starting from Square One. They haven't been in my head over the past X years (and yes, it's a process of YEARS - maybe even my whole life, really) that got me where I am right now. I am not making the standard choices, and they don't question their standard choices at all but just freak out (or, at least, "have serious concerns") when I am making extremely reasoned, rational, researched decisions.

From their point of view, I've just dived off the deep end. From my point of view, I've turned into an amphibian. And they just didn't notice.

That probably didn't make any sense but anywhere, here's support for ya, sister.
lol No, it made perfect sense to me. People seem to have a "problem" with people who choose to take the unconventional route. I've been told all sorts of things.

It's dangerous. I'm going to die. My daughter is going to die. That's the worst of it. Most of what I'm told is stuff that hospital birth increases the chance of.

My fave has to be: What if you need a c-section?

I'm pretty sure, by now, the kid is just going to fall out anyways.
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#6 of 7 Old 08-18-2010, 05:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a friend that I've asked to be with me during the birth just for support that only another woman can give. I've known her since 4th grade so there is no awkwardness or anything. lol

She's also a LPN so if any emergencies arise (not 911 kind but you know what I mean), I have her there to help. She's excited as am I. Regardless of where I give birth, she'll be there.
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#7 of 7 Old 08-18-2010, 06:26 PM
 
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There's fear all around us.. My mom who had all three of her kids by UC freaked out at me suggesting that I may just stay home (i was complaining about the hospital I"m "supposed" to deliver at). I figured she'd be the first one with info or suggestions on UCing but nope she was just like you can't do that! hmm... and she knows I had a quick, natural birth with my daughter. I've told a handful of people but only the ones that i'm fairly certain that won't freak out on me..

Jade, momma to Ariana 5/23/06 and Trystan 9/28/10
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