U/C and CPS - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-19-2010, 11:29 AM
 
dayiscoming2006's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,783
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by gossamerwindweb View Post

of course your sister made a false claim... and they had to investigate it. That is so sad that it was so rough *shakes head* I'm sorry to hear that :(



I know they had to investigate, but the way they went about it was all wrong. I read up on things recently and they had no right to interview me and they shouldn't be off interviewing my sister in public school without my parents knowing anything. They also made my parents do a lot of testing that was really unnecessary and they dragged the process on and misconstrued our testimonies big time in court, etc. Lots of crappy stuff took place. It took at least 6 months for them to get my sister back if I remember right.

 

Also after that, my sister got into drinking, marijuana and partying and my parents felt powerless because they were afraid if they punished her that she'd get taken away. Personally I felt like with the way she was acting it'd server her right to have to get taken away if she would have gone forth with more false claims or something. 


Happily married Christian SAHM of 2 boys, DD1 uc.jpg, and DD2 July 2013 homebirth.jpg 

 homeschool.gif   novaxnocirc.gif cd.gif   winner.jpg                                       

 

dayiscoming2006 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-19-2010, 12:20 PM
 
kittywitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: The Room of Requirement
Posts: 13,061
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mitintraining View Post

I agree Kitty that homeschooling seems to set you up to be investigated.  I do understand that there are cases in which investigations are necessary I just  really do not like the fact that of the cases they investigated in IL( the last place I checked) 75% were cases that were faulty claims.  I guess I also take issue with the red tape and bureaucratic dollars it takes to help only 1/4 of the cases.  Obviously that doesn't account for the many they miss.  I also do not like being lumped in with drug addicts, prostitutes, and molesters since I homeschool, co-sleep and give birth at home.   I guess one claim should not be enough to make me have to prove my fitness to parent.  I also have heard scare tactics used by some of these workers when parents try to get their rights.  Like 'let me in or I will take your kids'.  I am sure that there are many more good ones, that we do not hear about compared to the bad few we do, just like any other profession.  People are human and people can be power hungry also.  Anyway I think it is great to have a varied perspective, and although I do not fear CPS, I am watchful of the things I say about my children and who I speak to.  I know that if I had to I can prove myself a fit parent, I would just hate to deal with all that crap on top of the other stuff I have to do everyday!


Absolutely! I'm in IL which seems to automatically put me at risk for being harassed, it seems. It's pretty disturbing. The social worker was nice but threw in "we CAN and WILL take the kids if you do not fully cooperate or blah blah blah" many times. This even though I fully cooperated on every level. I still have trouble sleeping over that whole episode it was so traumatizing.

AP Mom to 5 knit.gifhomeschool.giftoddler.gif
 
  

kittywitty is offline  
Old 11-19-2010, 01:55 PM
 
LadyJennifer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: LA
Posts: 532
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

This is something that worries me, even though we have not had a UC (only mw attended hbs). I want a UC when we get pregnant again. To me, it seems there is no rhyme or reason to why some kids get taken and some don't.

I come from a family of 8 children, the last 7 born at home with a mw (even when it was illegal here). They homeschooled us all exclusively, no vaxes. My sister called CPS on my parents when she was 16 for no reason. She thought her life was "so bad" and they would take her away. I think she tried to tell them they were physically abusive. The social worker came over, but that was it. There was never anything else heard from them. So that's a good story, I guess


Jenny - wife to one great guy, mama to three babies, with #4 due in January 2015!    
LadyJennifer is offline  
Old 11-20-2010, 03:11 PM
 
SilverSage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: dazed and confused
Posts: 74
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I was also a foster parent and that is WHY I'm worried about UC and losing the baby. It really all depends on the social worker and supervisor. If they don't like you or your lifestyle, you're toast. We were foster parents for three years and then got a social worker with a grudge. We lost the foster kids and almost lost our DD. We went to court several times, the judge dismissed each time, but they wouldn't actually discipline the SW/agency. We finally left the state. We got accused of educational neglect because we homeschool, social neglect and depriviation because we live out of town and homeschool and DD wasn't allowed free access to after school activities/friends. She was 5!! We also got accused of severe emotional and mental abuse because we raise the animals that we eat. These are the ones we went to court for. The other social workers we had were great and things were fine. This one, she was something else, so it REALLY all depends!

SilverSage is offline  
Old 12-10-2010, 04:46 PM
 
SnowSparrow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 22
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Wow.

I am so blown over reading this thread!

There is NOTHING like that here. No one's ever bothered us and they couldn't even if they wanted to.

 

We moved from the UK 7 years ago, and I was so relieved to get out. It's basically a police state with a nice veneer on it, as far as parenting goes at least. We were frequently reported by nosy neighbours for homeschooling and giving our children more freedom (ie my son could walk down the block by himself and such), even though we (and they) were reassured time and time again that it was perfectly legal, I was always on edge, because all it would have taken would be one overzealous social worker, and I could have lost my kids.

 

So glad I got out of the UK, and apparently, lucky for us we don't live in the US as well.

SnowSparrow is offline  
Old 12-11-2010, 01:18 PM
 
gossamerwindweb's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,081
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

SilverSage, I am so sorry to hear about that.  *sigh* It is too bad that one person with a grudge can make SO much trouble for people.  I just went to a continuing education thing where a guy was talking about another county and what % of kids were in foster care, and it was HUGE.  Compared with that county, our county has nothing going on.  But apparently it is all about how things are viewed in what county.  So I understand now that we are in a county that is very conservative as far as taking kids away.  I have heard that UK is like a police state with how you parent.  I guess I don't understand how so many horrid parents can get through the system but others have major problems when they didn't do anything really wrong.


Angela lactivist.gif, married for 14 1/2 years to DHtwins.gif, mother to DD 8-5-97homeschool.gif, DS 8-5-09 uc.jpgbabyf.gif, and SURPRISE!!! pos.gif due 2-17-12

gossamerwindweb is offline  
Old 12-12-2010, 08:18 PM
 
Graceie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 846
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We had cps involemnt for another reason and a home birth with a midwife present and had to prove that it was a bog concren to them the whole hime birth thing and selective vax and co sleeping know that they do offen take the baby first ask questions later I think if everything else is ok then you will get baby back but they do take the baby well they investigate . we are concdering UC for the next bith and I think I will get prenatal care and then " forget to call " untill after just so I can have that back up

Graceie is offline  
Old 12-15-2010, 06:10 PM
 
NettleTea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,129
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have noticed that CPS varies and some are worlds apart. Not too long ago I read about a particular county's CPS that was very dishonest. They would put their workers up to going to a payphone an anonymously calling in false reports on different people in order for there to be a reason to have their children taken away. This was done because evidently there is money in ripping children from their homes. Adopting them out, I think. Scary.


uc.jpg  lotbirth.gif   waterbirth.jpg 
NettleTea is offline  
Old 12-19-2010, 10:10 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 11,638
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)

UCing is legal in MO so no I have not been hassled nor did I have a problem getting a BC.  My friend was planning a UC but her DH freaked and called the paramedics  and she refused to go with them and they couldn't force her because she wasn't breaking the law.


Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is offline  
Old 12-19-2010, 10:29 PM
 
Graceie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 846
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

its legal here to and they dont hassle in and of itself its just if something else happens it looks bad

Graceie is offline  
Old 12-20-2010, 08:21 AM
 
LaffNowCryLater's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 2,120
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by mitintraining View Post



It has been my experience that once CPS investigates a claim, whether actual of fictitious the case is considered opened until proven it should be closed.  That is the thing I do not like, that you are guilty until proven innocent.  I also do not like the fact that the social worker gets to decide what is best for my children. 
 


Yeah, and lack of evidence can be enough reason to close a case. Also case managers (I don't say Social Worker b/c most are NOT social workers....if they don't hold a BSW or MSW they are NOT a SW) don't get to decide. There is a whole team involved and the big decision maker is the Judge.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by gossamerwindweb View Post

OH! And I also wanted to say that I had an internet friend have her children taken away supposedly for bogus claims... that she had a UC. The truth was (and I didn't find out until much later) that her house was FILTHY. 


Yup, that happens A LOT.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by StrongBeliever View Post



I *think* that is your child DOESN'T have a birth certificate, then CPS CAN'T take them. A birth certificate, as I understand it, is basically registering your child as a ward of the state, which would authorize the state to act in that child's behalf. 



 There are tons of undocumented kids in custody.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by gossamerwindweb View Post

CPS can take a child whether they have a birth certificate or not.  However, I am now a foster mother, and I am learning that really, CPS is typically not malicious. Social workers really do want the best for the children.  They work really hard to reunify them with their biological parents as well, even people who have had 7 children taken away... they still make sure they have supervised visitation, etc. So really, my viewpoint on CPS has changed a lot now that I am working with them. I am surprised sometimes at how hard they DO work to reunify, when personally, I think 'that drug using parent is a piece of crap, WHY would we try to get their kids back with them?'  Anyhow, I know this won't make much difference with your fears.  I had the same fears for years, and had a social worker friend tell me 'they really aren't trying to tear apart families', but it didn't matter.  I do know that there are some bad social workers, just like there are some bad cops, some bad doctors, etc.

 

This is all true. Thanks for sharing your experience.


Mom of 3 sons and one daughter
LaffNowCryLater is offline  
Old 12-20-2010, 12:16 PM
 
mitintraining's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 205
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by LaffNowCryLater View Post



Yeah, and lack of evidence can be enough reason to close a case. Also case managers (I don't say Social Worker b/c most are NOT social workers....if they don't hold a BSW or MSW they are NOT a SW) don't get to decide. There is a whole team involved and the big decision maker is the Judge.

I agree that the judge is the decision maker, but the whole guilty until you can prove your innocence goes against not only logic but our U.S. judiciary.  Sorry about the social worker label,  I was speaking from experience that the social workers I have spoken to who work with CPS have the credentials, and are social workers.  While I agree that yes you can prove that you are a good parent, but that should not be the way it works, especially when only 1/4 of the reports, at least in some states, are warranted.  Lets not forget that there are many kids who need to be removed who slip through the cracks, the reporting system is not working, IMO.   Also there are cases in which kids are taken away from parents for arbitrary reason, put into foster care and then abused!  Even in best case scenarios where nothing bad happens after they are in custody, they still are going to be have emotional repercussions.  I agree that in most situations of abuse of power with governmental agencies it is rare, it is still scary.  I do not like that it is a judgment call based on a faulty reporting system, based again on someone's ideal about what is right for families.  I think this system along with many other governmental systems need some work.   But none of this is relevant to the original post.  If it is legal to UC in your state than it should not be an issue, except it is.  Just like it is legal to home school, they can still check you out for doing it. Same thing as signing a child out AMA from a hospital, they can check you out for that too.  All in all it is pretty scary.


wife to an amazing hippie man, momma to many~3 DS/ 3DD  novaxnoIRC.gif homebirth.jpgcd.gif homeschool.gif
mitintraining is offline  
Old 02-06-2011, 01:59 PM
 
NettleTea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,129
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

As far as I know, there isn't one state in the US that considers UC to be illegal. So of course it is going to be "legal" in your state.


uc.jpg  lotbirth.gif   waterbirth.jpg 
NettleTea is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off