Back again! I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl a year and a half ago, unassisted pregnancy, unassisted childbirth... and recently found out we are expecting again. It was just daddy and I together alone and we really felt we could have used an extra pair of hands. We'll be moving to Florida in a couple of months and have no friends there so once again we will be alone with the birthing process. We have considered hiring a midwife to have that extra pair of hands around-- but i'm not really feeling too keen on the idea. any thoughts/experiences/opinions?
Love and Light
If you could find someone really hands off, maybe. I don't have personal experience but I'd be concerned they would make me do things that I didn't want to because they have some liability worries even if they were mostly hands off.
I have a hospital midwife group and part of me wants to see if giving birth there would be a good idea but whenever I think about it there are so many things that worry me from my previous bad hospital birth experiences that fear might be in the way. That and I'd have to be alone at the hospital unless they allow my husband and children in the room too. We don't have friends or family here either.
I'm pretty sure I'll do an UC this time. You have to weigh out your options - maybe figure out what your options really are. (ex. Seek out a hands off midwife or 2 or 3 in your area and interview them.) HTH
Happily married Christian SAHM of 2 boys, DD1 , and DD2 July 2013
I'm kinda feeling the same way... that if i have a midwife they're gonna make me do some things i don't wanna do because of liability issues. I went to one appointment with a local midwife here with my last UC and didn't go back because of how angry she was (she rolled her eyes) that I wouldn't get blood work done.
I understand completely! We're moving to Texas before the birth, and I like the idea of being able to call someone in the even that I feel like we need someone, but I don't want to feel pushed. I have UC'd twice already, and don't really want any outside interference, but at the same time, I have always had someone I could call just in case, friends, family, at least someone near by, but once we get settled it will just be DH, myself, and the littles. It's a perplexing feeling... I'm debating flying someone out around time just to have someone near by, someone that I know won't interfere, or even bother me for that matter unless I ask them to... kwim?
Hi, I'm new here. :) I decided that I need to do a UC. I have had one child in a medicated hospital birth, and one midwife attended attempted homebirth that ended up in the hospital. I am in Florida, btw. What people are suggesting is right-- you need to find a midwife who is "hands off", but legally and also training wise, that can be hard. Many of them are sticklers to certain rules in place and won't honor your wishes. This has been my personal experience. They are very nice people and seem trustworthy enough, even promising in interview that if I needed them to "fade into the woodwork" they would do so, but when the time came that was simply not the case. I believe that my experience was scarred by their presence and interference and that the stress it caused myself and the baby is what led to us winding up in the hospital. In other words-- I think if I had been doing UC, everything would have been just fine. BTW, I was seeing these same midwives for prenatal on my current pregnancy (only 2 months left!), and they dumped me when I confided in them my desire to do UC. I still wanted their care in all other respects, but I guess things are too messy for them legally to keep me around. They advised me to see a physician or the county health clinic if I wanted any continued prenatal care. :(
Vegetarian Spiritual wife to Joshua (HS sweetheart, together since 1999); mother of Eve (Dec 2003) Cian (March 2009), and Sage (March 2011)! <--!
My book about what I learned from my experiences with childbirth was published April 2011.
I think we've pretty much decided to UC again. It's hard because we're moving and I don't have any girlfriends in Florida that could come and be my female presence. With the last UC, it happened so quick we didn't have time to call the friend who was supposed to come, and I had really wished she had been there. That was my main motivation for wanting a midwife, but your experience Elizabeth, has actually come up into my head a number of times as a one of my lingering fears of having a mw, and I do understand a little of how legally bound they are to certain things and I don't want to run the risk of having a potentially irritating experience or worse, ending up as a transfer. I do not want to end up in the hospital... and I just don't think I could feel confident that wouldn't happen if I have a mw. I know if I uc, I will only transfer if my heart thinks it's best and I think that's the situation I am most comfortable with.