Deciding not to UP/UC because of CPS? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 44 Old 04-10-2011, 06:37 AM
 
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In US, UC is legal in every state. Your birth attendants are who may be illegal, as some states will punish any non-medical birth attendant you have. The solution? Just don't tell the state they were there!

 

The only way I'd decide not to do it because of CPS is if I had someone who was like...really CPS-happy in my life or if I felt my risks were just very high with that particular pregnancy. There's always that small fear that someone won't understand your UC, that CPS will become involved. Like for me, someone called base family advocacy, but the nurse called, I didn't even call her back, and I never heard from her again. I was so worried about it and then it didn't even wind up being that big of a deal.

 

Can you have a UC and just tell people a midwife was there? Or hire a midwife to be on call? Can you have a UC, be open about it, and just make sure you've got all your ducks in a row if CPS is called? (I mean like, lawyer, good information to explain your choice, clean house, etc.)

 

I'm so sorry you're in an anti-breastfeeding area. :( I'm a Pagan mama so, being right here on the Belt of the Bible Belt, I know how you feel to be the different one. I've become a very private person so only those closest to me even know I'm Pagan, except for most of my coworkers I've known a long time. Since it is a religious community... maybe you could quote them some Biblical quotes that back up UC? There are a LOT of Christian UCing mamas here that could probably help you out with that. You could "beat them at their own game" so to speak? lol

 

I hope you get that UC you want. :)


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#32 of 44 Old 04-10-2011, 07:31 AM
 
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The nearest (legal homebirth) midwife to me is three hours away, and she and I just...didn't click. If I was comfortable with her, I'd gladly hire her, expect her not to be here in time (I've had three kids and between them, a total of less than ten hours in labor, last two were under two hours) and know I was covered if anyone griped.

 

I only worry because some past stories have shown you don't actually have to do anything illegal for them to actually take the kid. Heck, by brother had a girlfriend's ex accuse him of abusing a kid (the girlfriend and the ex's kid) and CPS came and TOOK MY BROTHER'S THREE KIDS and kept them til they completed their investigation- which concluded that it was almost certainly the dad (the girl's ex) who had abused the kid. (Someone shook this girl's toddler, and apparently they can tentatively date when it happened by looking at the bruising of the brain.)

 

My brother has the kids back now, but there's not so much as an apology, and if that was a newborn, that kinda slams the breastfeeding relationship. Not that CPS here would care.

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#33 of 44 Old 04-10-2011, 07:47 AM
 
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There has been disagreement about this in the past. MY take is that CPS is unlikely to take the kid, especially long-term, if you haven't done anything illegal. It CAN happen, but I think it's uncommon. CPS intervened after one of Laura Shanley's births, but she got it all straightened out and I believe that most of us could too unless something else was going on.

 

Since a midwife is out of the question, I would either UC and just tell everyone a midwife was there... I mean, it's none of their business, right? Or I'd check out the nearby birth centers, before checking into a hospital for sure


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#34 of 44 Old 04-10-2011, 08:17 AM
 
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The nearest birth center is two hours away, if there's no traffic, and there's always traffic. The nearest hospital is at least forty minutes, and I've had a bad experience there before. next nearest is about an hour. I *think* the plan, right now, is to let things happen and then just say they happened fast and it was too late to go to the hospital.

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#35 of 44 Old 04-10-2011, 09:46 AM
 
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I think that's a good plan.

 

:)


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#36 of 44 Old 04-10-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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omg! it is things like that that scare me about going to the hospital. unbelievable, really. it seems to me that as soon as you walk through those hospital doors you sign your rights away or else. there doesn't seem to be much in between. i really hope that the instance described below is only an anomaly and not the rule. how sad for that family to still be dealing with this 3 years later. i can't imagine...
 

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Originally Posted by monsoonmama View Post

Apparently even going to the hospital doesn't keep you safe from CPS.  I just found this article about a woman who refused to pre-consent to a c-section. She gave birth without complication and then had her child taken away because she refused to sign a consent form for a procedure she didn't need.   http://news.change.org/stories/mother-loses-baby-for-three-years-due-to-refusing-c-section-pre-consent



 

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#37 of 44 Old 04-10-2011, 03:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luvmykiddos03 View Post


 


I recently read that a state was, indeed, making it illegal for ANY non-medical personnel to attend a birth.  I believe it was in Oregon or maybe Utah?  Somewhere in that region.  Thus, the mother could birth alone, but if her husband or anyone attended, they would be prosecuted.  :(  Anyone else know about this?

 


Yes, I do, but I have no links or anything to refer you to, so you'd have to double check and cross reference me on your own if you feel so inclined.

 

I know states have their varying positions on birth law, but from what I have gathered it only applies to medical personnel or someone who is there in a medical attendant capacity, and yes they would extend this to doulas as some kind of technicality.

 

*If I am not mistaken* you cannot prosecute husbands or just anybody else who happens to be there for the same reason you cannot prosecute moms-- the OOPS. Sometimes labor and birth just happens and sometimes you don't make it to the hospital.

 

This is the same loophole that supposedly allows for medical pros to actually attend home births wherever illegal, as long as they state that they are not there in a medical capacity, but just as a "friend".

 

Isn't it funny how at the scene of an accident or other emergency, nurses and doctors have this oath that requires them to act to help someone? Yet at birth, it has to be *just so*, in accordance with some kind of weird set of rules and regulations. If birth were such an emergency, wouldn't we let anyone of any medical nature in the vicinity come to the woman's aid?

 

Unboxable, your kids sound AWESOME! :) Where are you that you are amongst such uptight people? BTW, in your case I would def try to keep the UC on the DL. I'm with Heather on using the Bible to back UC. I would also try to use it to back breastfeeding!!! What could be more pure than that? Why did God make breasts, anyway?

 

There has been huge debate here recently about CPS and how much they should be feared or not feared. My take is that it is so individual. It's based on the region you live in and what the people there are like, how you relate to those people, and the particular individual who is assigned to your case. It could be anybody's guess. I wouldn't just say you are in danger or NOT in danger of getting them to interfere in your life. Each one of us would probably be the best judge of that threat in our lives.

 


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#38 of 44 Old 04-10-2011, 03:45 PM
 
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Quote:
There has been huge debate here recently about CPS and how much they should be feared or not feared. My take is that it is so individual. It's based on the region you live in and what the people there are like, how you relate to those people, and the particular individual who is assigned to your case. It could be anybody's guess. I wouldn't just say you are in danger or NOT in danger of getting them to interfere in your life. Each one of us would probably be the best judge of that threat in our lives.

THANK YOU

 

That's all I've been trying to say this whole time blush.gif


fambedsingle2.gif Heather, 25, single mom to Corbin, 5, and Orin, 3  uc.jpg  delayedvax.gif  nocirc.gif
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#39 of 44 Old 04-11-2011, 04:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ElizabethE View Post

 

Unboxable, your kids sound AWESOME! :) Where are you that you are amongst such uptight people? BTW, in your case I would def try to keep the UC on the DL. I'm with Heather on using the Bible to back UC. I would also try to use it to back breastfeeding!!! What could be more pure than that? Why did God make breasts, anyway?




I'm in a very small town in eastern NC. The laws here are already really tight for midwives. It's just that this is a small town that's small-minded, they have their prejudices and they use religion to back them up. I really doubt that anything from the bible would make a difference, since I imagine the only people in town who've actually read it are the atheist population (I think there are three here who are openly atheist, and two of those three are my husband and myself.) It's really a town full of the kind of 'christian' for whom religion means 'an excuse to look down on everyone else'.

 

I've brought out biblical quotes before, and basically been told that things are different now, or I'm misunderstanding it, or that I'm just picking and choosing, or whatever.

 

 

Here's one question though- in such a small community, and where everything is everyone's business (teens here sneak out of town to get birth control because when they get it at the local clinic, their moms WILL find out, regardless of law, just for instance. For another example- I got pulled over this afternoon and had my tags taken for 'lapsed insurance'. Turned out that our new insurance company transposed a couple of digits in my VIN number. By the time I got home- four blocks away- my mom knew about it.) it's very likely that someone will know that I wasn't preregistered at the hospital.

 

So I wonder, should I preregister, and then not only am I on the books for a 'just in case' transfer, but I'm also covered in claiming 'oops'?

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#40 of 44 Old 04-11-2011, 04:07 PM
 
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I would totally preregister winky.gif


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#41 of 44 Old 04-11-2011, 05:23 PM
 
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Unboxable, I think that preregistering sounds like a pretty smart plan.


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#42 of 44 Old 04-12-2011, 09:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonfirefaery View Post

I would totally preregister winky.gif



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#43 of 44 Old 04-17-2011, 05:44 PM
 
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Absolutely.

 


 
-Jyn, Blessed mom of Abbie ('99), Gracie ('00), AngelBaby ('01), Danny ('02), Jacob ('03), Eva Bella ('06), Angel-Baby2 ('07), Emmalia ('09), Justus John Mark ('11), Jude Ellias Due 7-16-13
 

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#44 of 44 Old 04-18-2011, 12:42 AM
 
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nope i had a planned UC with an open CPS case. my worker was awesome, she was intrigued and wiling to learn!
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