Feeling Drawn to UP/UC - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 39 Old 05-22-2011, 07:06 PM
 
APToddlerMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,172
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizabethE View Post




Kelly. I think there is a difference between me defending a mother and baby in a tragedy and others who come here specifically to berate and belittle others, particularly in the name of the mother's loss. I suppose if I just kept my mouth shut and didn't defend people, I'd somehow be being the good guy? Or, maybe it would just be more convenient for you, so you could go on being abusive towards people.

 

And, just the fact that you are "LYAO" during a pretty serious, grim topic shows the amount of respect and decency you and your cohorts bring to the table.



You don't think calling someone a tool qualifies as belittling and berating?  And you think that to suggest that as a community we should take some responsibility for advising or not advising people to follow their intuition on a situation which poses multiple known risks...is belittling and berating?  I'm stepping out because this has turned into an argument, and yes, drama, and as it turns out, I am actually not interested in drama.  Are you familiar with the term projection? 

 

OP--I wish you the best.  I see that you are not interested in anything other than total support of UC despite history of PPH, seizure, and shock, and so I won't make any further suggestions.  I hope your birth is peaceful and easy no matter what you choose. 

 

APToddlerMama is offline  
#32 of 39 Old 05-22-2011, 07:10 PM
 
APToddlerMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,172
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizabethE View Post

You can hide your true motives under a banner of actually caring about other women's safety all day long. It's a very thin veil.

And what is your true motive then?  UC is the only choice in all situations regardless of any risks that may arise? 

APToddlerMama is offline  
#33 of 39 Old 05-22-2011, 07:30 PM
 
Kelly1101's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 3,829
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


.

CherryBomb and moaningminny like this.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

Kelly1101 is offline  
#34 of 39 Old 05-23-2011, 12:22 PM
Administrator
 
Mothering's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 121
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

This forum is a place to discuss unassisted childbirth. Members are welcome to share advice and experiences about unassisted childbirth. While we don't require members posting to this forum be pro-UC we do require that members not post with an agenda to derail, make accusations and point fingers.

 

 

There are way to many untoward, derailing, attacking and accusative posts here. Please edit to avoid losing your posting privileges. 

labortrials likes this.

The Mothering user name is maintained by Mothering staff.  Any posts/threads created by the Mothering user name may be featured or shared on Facebook, Twitter or other social media. If you have questions regarding the Mothering user name, please contact administrator@mothering.com.

Mothering is offline  
#35 of 39 Old 05-23-2011, 05:33 PM
 
ElizabethE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 479
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post





You don't think calling someone a tool qualifies as belittling and berating?  Sure I do. But I didn't come here with that express purpose. And that is the difference between us. You say you aren't interested in drama when there is plenty of proof that you are... you are really looking very dishonest right about now. I'm merely defending the UC forum.  You dislike that. I won't apologize for it. I am not the one going around the internet and looking for fights. I came here much like Paige did-- seeking like minds.

 

And you think that to suggest that as a community we should take some responsibility for advising or not advising people to follow their intuition on a situation which poses multiple known risks...is belittling and berating? Here's an example of how you do that:

 


 

"OP--I wish you the best.  I see that you are not interested in anything other than total support of UC despite history of PPH, seizure, and shock, and so I won't make any further suggestions.  I hope your birth is peaceful and easy no matter what you choose."

 

In your mind, I can see how this looks responsible. But, it is ideologically opposed to UC. So again, be "responsible" all you like, but chastising us for the very nature of this forum is weird.

 


You asked me what my motives on here are. I only ever came here to help and be helped. Period. And it did not involve people who used their spare time attempting to derail that which they are already opposed to in the first place. That's pointless drama and a lost cause. You have places you can go to dish and complain about people like us... so do it. This was never intended to be one of those places. Let women who believe in UC have a safe haven and stop shoving your beliefs down their throats. "Projecting".

 


treehugger.gifhippie.gifhomeschool.gifnovaxnocirc.gif
Vegetarian Spiritual wife to Joshua (HS sweetheart, together since 1999); mother of Eve (Dec 2003)  Cian (March 2009), and Sage (March 2011)! <--uc.jpg!
geek.gifMy book about what I learned from my experiences with childbirth was published April 2011. om.gif
ElizabethE is offline  
#36 of 39 Old 05-23-2011, 08:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
Paigekitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 870
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:

OP--I wish you the best.  I see that you are not interested in anything other than total support of UC despite history of PPH, seizure, and shock, and so I won't make any further suggestions.  I hope your birth is peaceful and easy no matter what you choose. 

 



I find this incredibly insulting, and I've tried to not get all upset about the craziness.  Maybe if you actually took two seconds to stop blaming and arguing and actually read what I've been posting and asking you would realize that your assumption is no where even close to reality.

 

SHEESH.

 

If I ever die in childbirth in a hospital, don't worry, I'll make sure not to blame you for advising it.

ElizabethE likes this.

I love Edward and we love our Libby (8/07) waterbirth.jpg and 'Nana' (05/09 )h20homebirth.gif and Eowyn (11/11) waterbirth.jpg  We are having a blast bfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFfamilybed1.gifcd.gif and homeschool.gif.

Paigekitten is offline  
#37 of 39 Old 05-23-2011, 09:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
Paigekitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 870
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

On a more positive note, last night I was telling DH about this thread, and about the idea of UC.  We talked about how I've felt about having people at my birth, especially coming and going.  He didn't have much to say, so I figure he's processing and in a few days we'll talk more.

ElizabethE likes this.

I love Edward and we love our Libby (8/07) waterbirth.jpg and 'Nana' (05/09 )h20homebirth.gif and Eowyn (11/11) waterbirth.jpg  We are having a blast bfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFfamilybed1.gifcd.gif and homeschool.gif.

Paigekitten is offline  
#38 of 39 Old 05-23-2011, 09:23 PM
Banned
 
accountclosed3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11,906
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Paige,

 

I think it's an interesting process for a couple, and I do hope that you continue to come here to bounce ideas around. My husband 'got it' right away -- it just made sense to him -- but for others, there's a lot of social programming to overcome (for men and women). It's like, looking at things from a whole a new way and sometimes you look at it and go "no way!" and sometimes you look at it and go "yes way!" 

 

It's always interesting to play with the edge of resistance within ourselves, which can allow us to both open to new possibilities and/or come to a more determined position as to who we are and where we stand.

ElizabethE likes this.
accountclosed3 is offline  
#39 of 39 Old 06-20-2011, 12:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
Paigekitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 870
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

So DH's reaction to UC was really fearful.  He really really wants someone trained in neonatal resuscitation and with medical equipment for PPH present at the birth.  The more I think about it the more I want a more private birth, like, just me and baby.  We are actually moving in with my parents before the baby comes, which means I am switching to a midwife I have not yet met.  I researched the hospital in the area, and I am NOT going there, so I certainly want a midwife to at least stitch up any tears or administer Rhogam if needed.  The midwife we've picked there does homebirths and birth center births.  My mother likes the idea of a birth center.  She cleaned out the birth pool at my second birth, and doesn't really want to again, since I am at her house, that's certainly something I need to respect.  When I mentioned UC/UP she didn't really understand why I would want to, with a birth center and midwife available.  I just, I can't really explain it, I just want this to be between baby and me.  It would be nice if I had a super fast birth and could just hide out in the bathroom or my bedroom until I was ready to call everyone in.  I suppose it's possible, my first was 9 hours, and my second was 6 hours. I guess then I don't get a waterbirth...

 

If nothing else, I do want to get a fetoscope though, DH said he wouldn't want to stop prenatal appointments because it's really important for him to hear the heartbeat and KNOW everything is okay, since he isn't feeling the baby move all the time like I am.  I feel like the more I do myself, even while still respecting his boundaries, the happier I will be.

 

Anyway, I know nothing really changed, but I just needed to share again, don't really have anywhere else to do it. : )


I love Edward and we love our Libby (8/07) waterbirth.jpg and 'Nana' (05/09 )h20homebirth.gif and Eowyn (11/11) waterbirth.jpg  We are having a blast bfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFfamilybed1.gifcd.gif and homeschool.gif.

Paigekitten is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off