What do you Mamma's think?? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 06-01-2011, 11:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Mamma's!

I've been a lurker at MDC for years, and have posted a few times, but I could really use some advice from BTDT mom's.

I am pregnant with my fourth baby. All three previous pregnancies ended in pre-term births, with the last two spending time in the NICU. (35wk, 32wk, 34.5wk). From the beginning we wanted a homebirth, but it never worked out. We didn't seriously consider it this time around, because we didn't expect to make it far enough. Where we live, there aren't any home birth midwives and I don't see how we could afford it, nor do I think one would take us on at 34 wks (which is where we are now.)

This go around has been so remarkable different than the last two. While I HAVE had a lot of contractions, and am already 3-4 cm dilated, everything is so much easier. I haven't been hospitalized for PTL once this time around. My husband brought up a few weeks ago the idea of doing a UC. Our last baby was actually born into my DH's arms because we couldn't get the doctor into the room. He was calm, collected and thought it was the coolest thing in the world so he's all about doing it at home this time around if we go to term.

So, my question is, what would you do in this circumstance? Is it stupid to be considering UC this late into the game? The three births I've had were as intervention free as possible. No pain meds, walking during labor, laboring how I wanted to, even choosing the position for delivery, they just had to monitor (non internally) because of the earlier labors. I was out of the hospital in less than 24 hours with each, very little PP bleeding. I trust my body completely and by now, I know how I should feel when. Our friends we've discussed this with said it was the stupidest thing in the world, seeing how I was so "high risk" and I want to know how I would be "high risk" if I went to term

Obviously, if I was in labor and I was a mere 34-35 wks, I would not attempt it, duh... but that being said, out of curiousity, what is the earliest you would feel comfortable UC'ing? 36, 37, 38 wks?

I've read a LOT about UC'ing and homebirthing just because it is something I always wanted but didn't think I'd ever get. Am I crazy? What do you mamma's think?
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#2 of 11 Old 06-01-2011, 11:41 AM
 
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Not crazy.  You are high risk of preterm labour, correct? (and i'm assuming the nicu stays were associated with preterm birth?) So if you go to term then you have unfounded that risk. Imho, if you go to term (in my area 37-42weeks is officially considered full term) you shouldn't be any higher risk than any of the lucky mamas here who have had positive uc homebirths.

 

Goodluck!  And congrats!  I'm glad to hear you have been having such a good pregnancy so far :)

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#3 of 11 Old 06-01-2011, 12:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, the NICU's were merely for some help breathing due to prematurity and feeding and growing. Otherwise, they were all healthy babies, with nice, easy births. Thank you!
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#4 of 11 Old 06-01-2011, 12:14 PM
 
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I'm curious what besides catching the baby has inspired you to UC. Not to be contrary, but with your history, I'm just a little surprised at the choice.


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#5 of 11 Old 06-01-2011, 12:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A homebirth is something that we, both DH and myself, wanted from the very beginning, but when our first came at 35wks 3 days, our MW thought it best to deliver at the hospital to be on the safe side. I totally agree with the caution. While E was perfectly healthy and acted more like a 37 weeker, I was very annoyed with the hospital "policies". He was kept in the newborn nursery, they admitted he had no problems and would go home at the normal 48 hours, but he was NOT allowed to room in with me, I had to fight to have them bring him to me to nurse during the night, and once they took him out of the room, to run the normal "newborn test" it was nine hours before we could convince them to bring him back. I know that they can't legally keep the baby from you, but was also more or less told that if I wanted to fight them, then fine, I needed my lawyer to call them because what they were doing was in the best interest of the baby and was the same thing that ALL newborns went through.

My husband and I both believe that birth is a natural process, not a medical procedure. I understand that there are issues that require medical attention, and sometimes there are reasons for interventions, but I'm a very firm believer that if everything is normal and healthy, then why make it such a big, medical issue?

With my last pregnancy, I ended up laboring at home until the very end because the hospital that my dr. sent me to wouldn't take me because I didn't have a doctor with them and the hospital my dr. was affiliated with wouldn't take me because they couldn't deliver a baby before 36 weeks. So, I labored at home until I was sure we were almost there then we went into the ER and they were forced to take me. It was so nice and peaceful to be able to sit in the bathtub during the contractions or to walk around, to lay in MY bed, (my water didn't break until she was crowning.) Even with finally getting the hospital to take me, we couldn't get a dr to come in to the room. A nurse told me, when I mentioned I needed to push, that it wasn't that bad and to just hold it, that the dr should be in in twenty to thirty minutes. A was coming whether the dr was ready or not. She came out with no problems at all, and I knew when and how I needed to push, everything was really easy and those first few minutes with just me, DH and the baby were really nice. She had no problems breathing, was six pounds, very healthy, but the hospital still kept her for a "mandatory" two weeks in the NICU because of how early she was.

I am just fed up with hospitals. While I understand if I have the baby early, that is the best place for us to be, I don't see why I would need to go to the hospital if I go into labor at 37ish weeks or later.

I would probably choose a MW assisted HB for a first time HB, but that option really isn't open to us, and I feel like we could handle this, I trust my body and I trust my DH to be there for me.

There's just this small part of me, probably from listening to everyone say it was the stupidest decision we could make, that wonders if it's weird to come to the decision this late in the game...
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#6 of 11 Old 06-01-2011, 01:47 PM
 
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I don't think it's weird. I think you should shelter yourself from others comments, though. If you hear how stupid it is often enough, you will start to believe in it. This is how most people make each other doubt one another in life.

 

I decided to UC when I was somewhere in the 30s of weeks pregnant, too. Actually, wait... it might have been a little before that. Yeah. But my point is, if you can feel prepared inside, it's not too late. :)

 

I've heard as women as early as 35 weeks and as far past as 45 weeks delivering safely at home. I just have to be honest and say that if I genuinely believed my previous babies (even though due to being premature) needed the NICU, it would probably have scared me away from home birth-- even if just a little and only at first. But, if you are confident that it was just the prematurity and you make it past that (or if you even feel that some of them did not actually need the NICU, like some moms have felt), I don't see why you shouldn't feel good about this. It varies from mother to mother and what you are describing from the past babies' gestation at birth is right in that sort of safe-or-not-safe-? zone that is often discussed. Some stick to the 37 week rule. I don't know. I think this is just one of those things that really varies from person to person.


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#7 of 11 Old 06-01-2011, 02:09 PM
 
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Just curious as to where you live that has a NICU, but doesnt have HB midwives. I have found that most rural hospitals transfer to larger cities in the state, and those are the areas that are more likely to have HB midwives or doulas. Its none of my business, just curiosity. Feel free to pm me if you live in KY and you want help finding a doula or MW (I know you said its late in the game, so you may not even want to ask). Is there a possibility of having a close friend or a doula there to help you and your DH?


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#8 of 11 Old 06-03-2011, 09:23 PM
 
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Here's the questions I'd ask myself:

1. How far is the NICU from your home? Worst case.

2. How soon did your previous babies need care? Worst case.

 

One of dd's little friends is a boy who spent quite some time in NICU after being born at home. He's perfectly healthy now, but his problems weren't ones where seconds (or even minutes) made a difference.

 

Meanwhile, here are some long gestation vibes from someone who went past her due date. goodvibes.gif Because really, going to term would make everything so much easier for you on every level.

 

Ah just read your second post, you've already had one UC, and your local hospitals have demonstrated an astounding inability to actually examine your babies and consider them on a case by case basis. Your 32 weeker is the only one who actually needed medical attention? And you're comfortably into the point where your other babies were fine? Go for it.

 

 

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#9 of 11 Old 06-03-2011, 09:41 PM
 
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Homebirth of 33 week baby- http://www.homebirth.net.au/2009/01/premature-babies.html

 

When I was preggo with my twins- I felt safe to have them at home at 36 weeks- even though they turned out being born postterm. I have had MW attended HBirths but personally would feel safe at 36 weeks...........

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#10 of 11 Old 06-04-2011, 05:05 AM
 
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37 - 42 weeks is considered "Term" by the World Health Organization. Depending on what area you are in, many midwives are comfortable doing home births from 36 weeks onward. 

I personally would feel confortable UCing at 36weeks, and staying home, assisted, from 35 weeks.


mom to: M born Aug 2011 & K 2yo

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#11 of 11 Old 06-04-2011, 12:02 PM
 
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Well, I am new here and somewhat new to UC so I'm not the best one to offer advice but in my opinion you can do anything you put your mind too. I know that saying is so "cliche" but seriously. Your mind is such a powerful thing and if you TRULY believe you can do it and you're 100% comfortable in your choice it can be done. Personally, I would begin researching like crazy and avoiding anyone and everyone that is unsupportive. I can tell you from experience other's words can greatly affect how you feel whether you realize it or not. I would most likely be dealing with a MW right now if it wasn't for some negative things another one of her "clients" had told me. Anyways, if you do go to term (fingers crossed) and you are fully prepared, I say go for it :) Good luck hun!

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