I have one UC under my belt and would love another one, but our new house is now in the country - VERY far from the hospital - about 45 min to an hour depending on traffic.
I cannot stand anyone around me during birth, but after my last birth, I was in a bit of a daze. My husband isn't mentally capable of handling problems and I have a 3yo now. I don't feel comfortable having a total UC this far from the hospital because it would be total chaos at our house if there was even a minor upset.
I was considering getting my midwife to attend my birth, but not assist. I would like her to stay at our house just in case we have issues I'm not able to deal with but I don't want her in the room with me. She would be our backup. If we need hospital transfer, she can take my daughter and my husband can go with me to the hospital in an ambulance. (We live right down the street from the ambulance dispatch office.) I had my midwife for my prenatal care with my last pregnancy and she is really wonderful.
Has anyone done anything like this? She would be more than happy to just nap on the couch while I take care of my own business and leave if everything is fine. If you had an attended unassisted birth, how did you feel about it? Did it bother you to have someone waiting in the next room? Did it affect your ability to give birth the way you wanted to?
Getting a hotel or motel in town for the birth is not an option for us and I hate traveling in a car with a new baby.
With my births the midwives never did anything. Just sat in room while I was in the tub. After I had babies they helped me out of the tub. That was it. Then of course later they checked baby and me. No hands, suctioning, none of that so I've not had a negative experience with a midwife yet. I even told them I wanted to UC but husband not comfortable with idea and wanted someone there as backup so anything with them was fine. Last birth my MW was downstairs while I was in transition, she came upstairs and I told her things were hurting so she just left it up to me to do my thing. which I did. I did have a PPH and herbs did not stop it so I did get an injection 3 hours later or so and for that I'm grateful but it was uneventful except that.
One reason I like having a MW is the cleanup but I fully support UC and would only use a very hands off MW.
I had one for my second birth. My MW was very willing to work with me, we only did prenatals when I wanted to, I think I ended up doing 3 with her. I refused her regular backup MW so she found another one that I approved off since there was a possible conflict with my EDD and her schedule. She did end up making it to my birth, she had worked the night before so she came into my house and literally just slept on my couch. Left me completely alone, never entered the room I was in while I was laboring, I was hiding in my bedroom but that was more because everyone was affecting my birth space. It was a tiny house, DH, DD1, my mom was caring for DD1, and the sleeping MW was all just too much for me to be around but I prefer to be completely alone. I emerged towards the end to climb into my tub, the MW just stood back out of the doorway while I was pushing, I couldn't see her. She didn't enter the room and never said a thing to me or touched me. I gave birth and then gave out directions about what I wanted, she never made any suggestions or comments, just left me alone unless I directly asked her for something. DH just runs around like a headless chicken when I am birthing and after so I had her help me to the bathroom later on. We handled everything like the cleanup, I paid her basically just to be around for DH's sake. She checked over DD2, ate a slice of pizza and left less then an hour after she was born.
I had planned doing something similar with DS and another MW, she was going to stay downstairs. We had an agreement that I never had to see her if I didn't want to. We had a different house then and I had thought out my birthing space better, made sure I would be completely away from everyone and the noise. I ended up with a regular UC just due to timing, DH had a very hard time with it so for this baby we are back to having the MW stay downstairs again unless I want her.
It's good to see that it can happen the way I imagine it. I was worried that by having the midwife there, I would be tempted to want her to intervene. I remember my last birth which was pretty horrible. My baby was posterior and I was stuck in transition for 5 hours and not progressing. If I had been in hospital, I SO would have asked for an epidural, so having a midwife there makes me worry that I'll give in to the pain and ask her to come in and "save" me. I'll talk to her some more about it when the time comes.