Can't decide, please help. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 07-27-2011, 11:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, I am execting my 5th baby in Nov. My first 3 were c-sections ( long story ). My 4th was a vbac at home. My birthing went wonderfully, no complications at all. Ok, I loved my midwife with my last pregnancy, hired her for this one but things happened and she moved to Guatemala. I found another midwife who is very nice. But I feel no connection, AT ALL. I am perfectly at ease with doing a UC. I am wondering if this is a reason any of you considered UC. I have plenty of knowledge in birth. ( Midwife triaining ). Where would I start? I am 24 weeks, baby is fine, I am healthy. Please any feedback would be a big help!! Also, with my last we needed very little supplies, the birth was minimal. This midwife wants a ton of crap I know won't get used, and is a little more hands on than my last. I know they are different people but I am not at ease.


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#2 of 8 Old 07-28-2011, 09:08 AM
 
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Personally, I'd sit back (haha like you can do that w/4 kiddos...) and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

With midwife training you know what to keep an eye out for and well you have plenty of experience knowing what your body is like with pregnancy...but are you the kind of person that needs outside confirmation of what you already know or have you had health difficulties in any of the previous pregnancies?

These are things to consider in deciding if you really want a midwife during pregnancy and or delivery. If you decide you do want a midwife then I'd be looking for another one if you're not at ease w/this new gal. If there aren't any other midwives in the area what about a friend who has lots of homebirth experience, personally? That's my plan. My best friend homebirthed all 4 of her kids plus assisted another good friend at several of her births and actually took over for the midwife when she had to leave when things went south during a home vbac-illegal here. Everything turned out fine and the complications had nothing to do with the mama having a vbac. So all that to say that I feel confident in my body and my best friend's ability to assist should the need arise.


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#3 of 8 Old 07-28-2011, 10:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Actually my pregnancies were all wonderful. Not one complication. The sections come from being young and bullied by drs! I don't need reassurance for myself and my health. Just with my last midwife she felt like family to me. This one is totally different and I think that it will hinder my experience. Plus paying $2000 for someone to do something I feel I can handle is hard to swallow! My last was a a wonderful homebirth and I never even gave a thought to the fact I had had sections before. I think I want to do this UC! I feel psyched for it. My husband is on board with whatever I decide so that helps.


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#4 of 8 Old 07-28-2011, 11:35 PM
 
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This is very similar to my story with my last.  We hired a midwife I didnt feel comfortable with her. In the end we fired her (tried to do it nicely) after deciding on UC and we just researched a lot and got all our supplies and did it on our own.  SO glad we did!!!  And we are planning on doing it again this time around. 


Katie - Mama to E1 (7, c/s), E2 (5, c/s), E3 (3, VBA2C), E4 (1, UC)
...expecting another princess in March/April

 

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#5 of 8 Old 07-29-2011, 09:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That is how this is exactly! She is a wonderful person, just do not feel connected to her at all. I am worried my husband will be worried about not having her there. But I have had a lot of training myself. Thank you for responding! I am not alone~!!


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#6 of 8 Old 07-29-2011, 10:39 AM
 
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Sounds like you've made your decision...Congratulations!!! love.gif

Perhaps you could help DH feel more comfortable by getting him some things to read that would help him feel more prepared should some variation of normal occur...? Or create some handouts for him. Like if this happens give me this tincture, guide me into this position, etc...

Good Luck!!!


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#7 of 8 Old 07-29-2011, 02:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prescottchels View Post

Sounds like you've made your decision...Congratulations!!! love.gif

Perhaps you could help DH feel more comfortable by getting him some things to read that would help him feel more prepared should some variation of normal occur...? Or create some handouts for him. Like if this happens give me this tincture, guide me into this position, etc...

Good Luck!!!


I had handouts for DH too and we had Emergency Childbirth on hand just in case and he had read it a few times ahead of time.

Here is some good reading:

 

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1028982/what_if_something_goes_wrong_in_an.html?cat=25

https://docs.google.com/View?id=dhcwj3xv_46g768cgcs&pli=1

http://s292.photobucket.com/albums/mm16/sunnywallace/UC%20documents/

http://mamasandbabies.blogspot.com/2010/08/preparing-for-unassisted-birth.html

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/

http://www.videoofbirth.com/unassisted-childbirth-videos/

 

I am sure I have more will have to look.

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Katie - Mama to E1 (7, c/s), E2 (5, c/s), E3 (3, VBA2C), E4 (1, UC)
...expecting another princess in March/April

 

Questions about VBAC? PM me!

ICAN Chapter Leader

cd.gif ribboncesarean.gif vbac.gif uc.jpg hbac.gif h20homebirth.gif

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#8 of 8 Old 08-01-2011, 09:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, he hears alot of what I read and study ( midwife in training ). However our situation changed some. My origianl midwife will be in the states the month of my guess date. I want her here as a friend. She is going to stay outside or in another room and be available if needed. It really helped ease my hubby's mind. I have my heart set on UC now, so I know I won't have her deliver. I am excited!


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