My first born-unassisted! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 11-24-2011, 09:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been stalking this forum for MONTHS!! Since I got pregnant back in January of this year (2011). I've just been to shy to say anything publicly. I literally read through every since page here. You women are SO AMAZING!  You all have taught me so many things that I am grateful for. The strength of your stories and information had me completely unafraid in labor, and gave me the perfect birth I hoped for.

 

Back story: I will be 20 in 2 months. My husband is 22. We live with in-laws, and no one knew we were having an unassisted birth. They believed we were seeing a midwife the whole time. Thank god, labor started when everyone was working at the family-owned restaurant or were otherwise out of the house. I got married young and after two years of trying to conceive (and one miscarriage) I took vitex the month I fell pregnant. I also took vitex through my entire pregnancy.

We had a UP, too- meaning the sex of our child was unknown.  OK NOW ON TO THE STORY!!

 

The morning before my due date (at around 11:30am) I had sex with DH. I started bleeding like a light period right away. I was frightened by the blood, even posting a question here on BG about it.

I was even having contractions, but I made the excuse that I ALWAYS had very strong contractions after sex, this was nothing new. However I was starting to feel.."icky"...a little nausea, kind of weak. Exactly how I feel when I first start my period, actually.

Meanwhile, my husband is jumping around saying, "Yes! We are going to have a baby!!" He had to run some errands though and would call me periodically to check up on things. If I thought I was in actual labor I was to let him know. He had to go to work later, and I did not want to make him take off for a false alarm.

I was already taking hot showers to help with things, and around 3 pm I took out a heating pad and managed to fall asleep for 20 minutes. My cell phone rang again, and my first strong contraction hit. BAM!
I still told my husband I was fine, took another shower, and started to moan through them. I decided I did not care if this was a false alarm or not, my husband was coming HOME!!!

I was really tired.I hadn't had much sleep the night before, and this was taking a lot out of me. With each contraction I would be on all fours on the floor, and then I'd lay down as soon as it was over. That probably exhausted me more but it felt right.

Around this time I started having a lot of thoughts. "Damn, I don't know how long I can go through this"
"That sounds like transition"
"No way, I don't even feel crazy yet".

Dh finally enters the room, freaking out because he sees me laying on the ground like I'm dying or something, and flips the light on.

"Turn off that light," I hiss, " and get me that bag!!" He hands me a walmart bag and I throw up three times into it.
"I realllyyy hope that means this is transition". I told him.

I love my husband, and he was sooo helpful (getting me water, putting tarp and towels down for me) but oh man!! He would ask me questions DURING EACH CONTRACTION! I finally had to tell him to be quiet.

By this point I'm leaning over my (low to the floor) bed, knees on the ground, chest and head on blanket.

I remembered how some women don't feel that urge to push unless they give a little one themselves and then it takes over. I gave a small one myself, and with each new contraction my body continued to do it, still lightly.

After a while I felt a very powerful force leave out of me, a huge release. I gasped in surprise!!

"Oh my god!! Did the baby come out?"
"No, your water just broke".
I should have known it would not have been that easy.
"Oh man, I hope things aren't going to get more intense!" I knew that stronger contractions were a possibility now that I didn't have anything cushioning the baby.

Right away I felt the baby descend and slide down in me. That is such an odd but amazing feeling, you really can't understand unless you've given birth yourself.
I warned my husband and he got closer behind me, waiting.
My body really took over and started pushing.
"Can you see anything?" I asked.
DH switched on a flashlight, "Wow! It has a full head of hair, baby!"
I couldn't believe it!
And then the baby slid back up.
I PUSHED (sounded like UGHHHH GRRRRR UGGGHHH) and the baby would come down, then slide back up. I knew this was just so that I could stretch slowly, and so that the baby's head could mold.

I was realllyyy stretching, and kept yelling "OH MY GOD! I'm going to rip! My ASS HOLE IS GOING TO RIP!!" DH kept calming me down, telling me not to push just let my body do it, and to breathhhhhh!! Reminding me to breath REALLY helped.

"You are almost ten centimeters dilated."
"What?" I asked, confused.
"Yeah baby! You are doing so good! You are almost ten centimeters!!"
"What are you talking about!! Of course I am the baby is coming out of my vagina!!"

Finally, when her head came out all the way, I SCREAMED and gripped the blanket with all of my might. I could feel myself rip, in my mind's eye ripping on the baby's nose or something.
The shoulders came out and the rest of the baby just fell out, into my husband's hands. 7:25pm. And 8 hour labor.

He rubbed her and it let out a few small cries right away, and we laughed so happy. There was no need to suction.

I turned around and sat down.
"It's a GIRL!!"
"Really?? A girl?" I was amazed.
"Yes."
"For real?"
"Yes!!"
" I KNEW it!" And I had, I told everyone I thought she was a girl.

"You did sooo good! You did sooo good baby!" Dh kissed me and we kept staring at our daughter.

I wanted to breastfeed but her cord was too short. I weighed my options and decided to let her cord keep on pulsating for a bit longer. We eventually tied it off with a rubber band and then Dh cut it. With some more help, I stood up and delivered the placenta into a bowel.

Dh quickly got rid of the mess and buried the placenta in the backyard (so fast I didn't even realize he buried it!)
Then I took a shower while DH washed baby girl.

A few days later a really great midwife came and checked up on us, we needed a paper stating she'd been seen in order to receive a birth certificate. (actually, I'm pretty sure i didn't need it, but I didn't want any trouble and I don't mind her being checked out at home).
Also, turns out I did NOT tear, I just had skid marks. The midwife said I did really well and just to keep my legs closed, mimicking a stitch.

We are still struggling with breastfeeding. Baby did not lose any weight, has gone from around 7.5 to 8.4 (we just measure on our home scale). My nipples have healed a lot, almost all of the scabbing is gone, just a dot left. BUT it burns when i feed, and she doesn't have thrush. We have come a long way though, and I love her so much.

I proved to myself that natural labor is completely doable, no screaming (except at the end) and not a single tear shed. My husband once again has proved to me how much I can rely on him, and I've just been incredibly blessed to have these loved ones and get my unassisted birth.

 

 

 

If you read this thank you :) If you skimmed through, thank you still!!

 

P.s. It has been a couple of weeks since I wrote this and breastfeeding is completely wonderful with no pain whatsoever.

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#2 of 23 Old 11-25-2011, 03:26 AM
 
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yeah! good for you. many congratulations!

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#3 of 23 Old 11-25-2011, 05:58 AM
 
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Enjoy your new baby!

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#4 of 23 Old 11-25-2011, 12:18 PM
 
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So awesome to read your story.  Thanks for sharing and congratulations!

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#5 of 23 Old 11-25-2011, 04:23 PM
 
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This post has been removed due to privacy reasons.

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#6 of 23 Old 11-25-2011, 05:40 PM
 
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Congrats on the amazing birth of your baby girl!! Enjoy her and thank you for sharing your wonderful story! joy.gif

hh2.gif Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 ribboncesarean.gif, DD 07/09 hbac.gif, and DS2 06/11 uc.jpg.  Feeling more and more blessed with each day!

 

 
 
 
  

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#7 of 23 Old 11-27-2011, 04:31 PM
 
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Awesome story! Thanks for sharing and a big joyful welcome to your sweet baby girl!! joy.gif


Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 
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#8 of 23 Old 11-29-2011, 11:13 PM
 
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Awesome, lovely story!  Thanks for sharing!  (Do we get pics of baby girl?)

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#9 of 23 Old 01-12-2012, 03:13 PM
 
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You two are a couple of wonderful parents! Such a beautiful way to bring your baby into the world! Congrats!!!


Nichole, wife to Kris SAHM to Timothy : :10-11-03, Hosanna , Seraphim 8-17-08 : caught by Grandma! Faith 1-4-10 : Caught by Daddy!
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#10 of 23 Old 01-13-2012, 12:03 AM
 
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"You are almost ten centimeters dilated."
"What?" I asked, confused.
"Yeah baby! You are doing so good! You are almost ten centimeters!!"
"What are you talking about!! Of course I am the baby is coming out of my vagina!!"

 

Ahaha! I laughed SO HARD! ROTFLMAO.gif

 

Congratulations on your awesome birth! Sounds like you rocked it. thumb.gif


Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl dust.gif and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 fly-by-nursing1.gif Loving unschooling, 2xuc.jpgfamilybed2.gif ecbaby2.gifand natural living in Hawaii.rainbow1284.gif
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#11 of 23 Old 01-13-2012, 12:54 AM
 
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awwww congrats!  what did the parents say when they found out you UC'd?


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#12 of 23 Old 01-16-2012, 06:32 PM
 
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Beautiful story. I laughed a couple times too, my DH says silly things which end up memorable. hehe. 

Well done mama, you guys rocked it. Thanks for sharing your wonderful story. Congratulations!

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#13 of 23 Old 01-30-2012, 05:10 PM
 
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Congratulations!  What a wonderful story!  So much trust, joy and love there.

I encourage you to seek out some breastfeeding support from a La Leche League leader, a lactation consultant at a hospital, a midwife or doula...there is no need for bleeding and scabbing nipples.  That means some guidance with the latch is needed.  Blessings!!

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#14 of 23 Old 01-30-2012, 06:43 PM
 
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Wow!  What a wonderful birth story.  Thank you for sharing!  Very inspiring.  Congrats to you and your husband.  :)

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#15 of 23 Old 02-05-2012, 10:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabirdy View Post

...there is no need for bleeding and scabbing nipples.  That means some guidance with the latch is needed. 


Thanks for the birth story, OP.

 

Just wanted to follow up on this one comment because I've heard several people make this point and from personal experience, I must disagree.  I've had 4 singletons (including a UC 2 days ago) and one set of twins.  I have had horrible nipple pain/cracking/scrabbing with each of the singletons. Pain peaks around Day 3, and is usually resolved and healed around Day 7 or so.

 

When I was pregnant with our twins, I was quite in fear of the upcoming nursing and how much worse it would be "doing double duty" with breasts not alternating and getting a break at different feelings. The twins were the only ones I DIDN'T have initial nursing pain with. And one twin was actually identified by an LC as being something of a "lazy nurser" with slow weight gain.

 

So what was the big difference? My twins were full term and 7.0-7.5lb each.  My singletons have all been 9lb1oz - 11lb1.5oz at birth. They have all been little nursing pros and latched very well, nursing VERY AGGRESSIVELY right from the start. I am also very fair-skinned and it seems to me anecdotally that this contributes as well.

 

I'm not dismissing that improper latch - even just a few times right at the start, may be the cause for some women. . . or even most women.  But I think there are other causes as well and it can be misleading and demoralizing to have women thinking that if they simply work with a decent LC, nipple cracking can assuredly be avoided.

 

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#16 of 23 Old 02-06-2012, 08:50 PM
 
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I have to agree. Everyone told me that pain/cracking/bleeding meant I was doing it wrong, but I wasn't. Everyone who checked me said our latch couldn't be more perfect. Moving baby into different positions didn't help. I had a baby who was a FEROCIOUS nurser. She sucked all of the skin pigment out of my nipples in the first few days. The first time she latched on, it was so hard, it scared me and I totally panicked and didn't know how to get her off of me. It was scary, like finding out your boob is stuck in the vacuum cleaner hose. ROTFLMAO.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Novella View Post


 


Thanks for the birth story, OP.

 

Just wanted to follow up on this one comment because I've heard several people make this point and from personal experience, I must disagree.  I've had 4 singletons (including a UC 2 days ago) and one set of twins.  I have had horrible nipple pain/cracking/scrabbing with each of the singletons. Pain peaks around Day 3, and is usually resolved and healed around Day 7 or so.

 

When I was pregnant with our twins, I was quite in fear of the upcoming nursing and how much worse it would be "doing double duty" with breasts not alternating and getting a break at different feelings. The twins were the only ones I DIDN'T have initial nursing pain with. And one twin was actually identified by an LC as being something of a "lazy nurser" with slow weight gain.

 

So what was the big difference? My twins were full term and 7.0-7.5lb each.  My singletons have all been 9lb1oz - 11lb1.5oz at birth. They have all been little nursing pros and latched very well, nursing VERY AGGRESSIVELY right from the start. I am also very fair-skinned and it seems to me anecdotally that this contributes as well.

 

I'm not dismissing that improper latch - even just a few times right at the start, may be the cause for some women. . . or even most women.  But I think there are other causes as well and it can be misleading and demoralizing to have women thinking that if they simply work with a decent LC, nipple cracking can assuredly be avoided.

 



 


Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl dust.gif and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 fly-by-nursing1.gif Loving unschooling, 2xuc.jpgfamilybed2.gif ecbaby2.gifand natural living in Hawaii.rainbow1284.gif
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#17 of 23 Old 02-24-2012, 08:35 AM
 
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Amazing story!!  Thanks for posting.

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#18 of 23 Old 02-24-2012, 10:06 AM
 
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Congratulations!!

How did the family feel coming home to a baby??


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#19 of 23 Old 02-24-2012, 06:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the congratulations! For some reason i was not notified about the comments. 

 

To reply to some of you, the in laws never found out it was unassisted. They adoreee their granddaughter

so much and even brag i had a home birth (of course lol) and take her to the room she was birthed in to show her. 

 

 

In my case i do think the pain was due to incorrect latching, which we both managed to figure out without the help of any LC's but i encourage anyone who does need help to seek one out. I healed up faster after the correct latching and a lot of nipple cream was applied.

 

She is four and a half months old now and already trying to be independant :(. It really does go by so fast.   

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#20 of 23 Old 02-26-2012, 03:38 PM
 
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Congrats on your new baby.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by amberskyfire View Post

... The first time she latched on, it was so hard ... like finding out your boob is stuck in the vacuum cleaner hose. ROTFLMAO.gif
 

 

 lol   Yep. When I nursed my first baby, I didn't expect the suction strength I got.

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#21 of 23 Old 02-26-2012, 03:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Congrats on your new baby

 

 even if she is four and a half months old.

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#22 of 23 Old 03-02-2012, 01:10 PM
 
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What a wonderful story! From your telling of it, it's obvious how much research and planning and care you put into being prepared as a FTM.  That's awesome!  Very happy for you both.


dizzy.gif DS1: 10/89 - DD1: 06/94 - DD2: 02/97 - DS2: 12/05 - DS3: 12/08 - DC6: ETA 04/26/12

I'll be 42 when the newest little one is born! Yowza!

 

 

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#23 of 23 Old 03-03-2012, 12:59 PM
 
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AHH . . . the, "MY ASSHOLE IS GOING TO RIP MOMENT".  I remember it well! LOL! Beautiful story congrats! :)


 2 Perfect  uc.jpg births!.    h20homebirth.gif.signcirc1.gifsaynovax.gifwinner.jpgfemalesling.GIFhomeschool.gif
3 babes in heaven angel.gif, 3 boys on earth. Planning UC #3 !!! Jesus is my Lord praying.gif

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