I am a terrible liar, help! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 10-02-2012, 07:29 AM - Thread Starter
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Hi ladies, i need your help! I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child (two planned homebirths with midwifery care), and we are planning on having an UC this time around. I had met with some midwives once around 17 weeks, but since then have been doing my own prenatal care. My problem is that we have decided that we would feel more comfortable with having a backup doctor at the hospital close to our home, and the office i called to make an appointment obviously wants me to fax them my prenatal care records... of which i have none. We just moved here from a different state, so without thinking, i just told the receptionist that my last care provider was in the state i used to live in (which is not true), and now she is expecting me to fax her my records. I know i sound like a complete idiot, lol, but seriously, my brain is NOT working these days, and i'd really appreciate some advice as to what i should do.


I would rather avoid telling them that i have really just been doing my own prenatal care, and i'm wondering if i could tell them i had midwifery care, and just send in hand written records. Does anybody know what kind of things i should send in? I have been tracking my weight gain, occasionally checking my blood pressure, eating healthy and exercising and just feel like i'm aware of my body and capable of recognizing any red flags. On top of this, I am petite, and look and sound much younger than my age (i am 27), and i really don't want to deal with them treating me like a crazy person who just doesn't know what she's doing, because i have done so much to prepare for this birth, and i feel like i do know what i am doing. I truly believe that this is the best option for us, and i just don't want to deal with attitude from my doctors office. I've been there before, and it's just not worth the stress. 

So.. Any advice? Should i just tell them the truth? I would feel so embarrassed for lying about it, but i just kind of didn't know what to say when she asked, and it was the first thing that popped into my head. I also worry that they may not take me on, it being so late in the game AND with no prior prenatal care... OR would it be acceptable to send in some hand written records and say that it was midwifery care and that i'd just rather not give my midwife's name? Am i insane? Lol. Help!

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#2 of 5 Old 10-02-2012, 08:08 AM
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No need to lie, if you did your own prenatal care it was still prenatal care. Make up a sheet to print and write in your records on lines. One sec I'll find my MW's prenatal sheets and tell you what blanks are there... many things are blank on my mw's, especially most of the tests, and that's ok.


Name, Phone#, G/P (gravida= what # pregnancy is this/para =how many previous births), EDD (est due date), Allergies, Partner's Name, Children & other household members, ABO type (Blood type), Rh (+ or -), Father's blood type, Prepregnancy weight


Dating: Date and EDD from each of these: LMP, Pregnancy Test, Suspected conception, quickening/kicks, FHT - Doppler (when first heard heart on doppler), FHT - Fetoscope (when on fetascope), Ultrasound. Gender M / F


Labwork positive or negative or untested for each of : GBS +/- at __Weeks, +/- at __Weeks, VDLR(that's syphilis), GC, Rubella (immunity to it), then levels of these- 12w HgB (hemoglobin test), 28wHgB, 36-38w HgB


Visit Records:

Date, Weeks gest., weight, urine (protien, glucose, ketones, other) they say "neg." if no problems, BP, Pulse, Fundal height, Position (not filled in til last tri visits), FHR (heartrate and d or f for doppler or fetascope), Other


Then a sheet for notes from each visit, date, weeks, and whatever we talked about how I was feeling and what was going on in my life, baby kicks, diet, etc.

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#3 of 5 Old 10-03-2012, 06:21 PM
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I'm kind if in the same boat...except I *had* to lie just to get an appointment. I spent an entire morning calling offices only to be told that the doctor couldn't see me for this or that reason. I finally just said I was a midwifery client who was transferring care, and of course I could bring my midwife's charts! I printed out the prenatal record sheets from the back of Heart and Hands at the beginning if the pregnancy and have been keeping track...so I just made a copy for the OB, and figured since I couldn't get permission, I would ask forgiveness after I got the tests I feel I need. my appointment is next week...fingers crossed that it goes well for both of us!

married to M
mama to Z (12), S (8), G1 (6), G2 (3), T (21m) and a surprise! Due 29 June 2015
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#4 of 5 Old 10-04-2012, 09:26 PM
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I agree that there's no need to lie in the situation.  Just let them know that you've done your own prenatal care, give them copies of whatever you have written down (you could type it up on the computer if you want, but I don't think it's absolutely necessary), and let them take it from there.  Being honest with them leads to better trust down the road.  Good luck.

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#5 of 5 Old 10-12-2012, 04:41 PM
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Yeah, honesty is definately easier, just admit you've been doing your own prenatal care and tell them what you know.


That said, my prenatal recordds were a wreck up until 25 weeks, and tehy **** are pretty confusing to my midwife.  I think its because I went to so many different OBs trying to find one who would "let" me labor in peace.  I think there were 5 hospitals involved and plenty more CPs of all kinds.  Still han't seen the US records actually, they kinda got mixed up in the shuffle, so its not like things don't get lost en route anyway.  :)

Slightly crunchy mama of three, one cs, one ubac, one vbac. Planning a vbac in October. Bookworms anonymous member.
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