Me and my partner really want a homebirth, but we are running into some problems.
Brief background, I have some issues of trauma relating to the medical establishment. Without getting too into it, I had a midwife, and she fired me and is causing difficulties with me getting a new midwife. I'm already almost 6 months pregnant.
I'm wondering if women here have had unassisted births, and what / how do you prepare for one as I may not have any other option.
I know how you feel to a certain extent. my first midwife during my last pregnancy dropped us due to my pre exsisting medical issues. Then after doing so she blocked me from finding anyone local to accept me as a homebirthing momma. It was very upsetting!
I ended up finding a couple of great midwives at around 9 months and everything went great, but my main one gave me the strength and encouragment to go it solo next time around. Which brings me to where we are now. I have been prepping by gathering similar supplies to what I had before. Chux pads, waterproof floor coverings (lots of people use shower curtains), a scale (a fish scale works well, you can get one for like 10$ at walmart and a sling to use with it) extra towels and wash cloths, a bulb syringe (just incase you need to do any suction), a peri bottle for cleaning after birth (I found this really helpful because its so gentle, btw a picnic ketchup bottle would work too).....I am thinking that is the majority of what I have on hand. A lot of other ladies have gotten by with buying less then what I have. Is this your first pregnancy? Do you feel like you have a good knowledge base for how your body works during labor? I can honestly say the most valuable things to me during our homebirth and our upcoming one is positivity and knowledge!! I feel very confident in that my body knows what it is supposed to do. Have you thought of these things? :0)
Yey! Someone who understands!!
I have a bunch of stuff, cause I got it since my ex midwife had requested I get a birth kit that she designed. I don't think it has the syringe, so I'll need to double check.
I have been pregnant before. Two miscarriages (one was a blighted ovum) both around 12-13 weeks. My first pregnancy resulted in major hospital trauma, and is the basis for my attempts to empower myself to have a home birth. My two miscarriages I had a midwife and had homebirths with the miscarriages with just my partner present.
I also am developing a team of people who are empowering, and have experience with homebirthing. I know in my heart that I can do it, I just need to have others around me who also believe in me. :)
I know how my body works under pregnancy and labor. The things that scare me are what to do if the umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby's neck (happened to me when I was born), figuring out how to cut the cord, and infant cpr to make sure the baby can breathe, and stuff. I may go ahead and take an infant cpr class. Oh, and the bureacratic paperwork / dealing with vital statistics, birth certificate stuff, etc.
As for cpr: you woukd want to take a neonate recuss class. Infant cpr is different and not used for a couple of months. I didn't bother with a class, just looked up the basics online.
Paperwork is different everywhere. In my state, the paperwork and procedure is pretty straightforward...getting the cranky woman at the vital stats office to give it to me was a pita.
married to M
mama to Z (12), S (8), G1 (6), G2 (3), T (21m) and a surprise! Due 29 June 2015
The cord being wrapped around the baby's throat is actually VERY common. The hospital establishments make it out to be such an OMG thing! My first little one had the cord wrapped around his throat twice and was whisked away in a hurry. I understand what you mean by the your experience traumatizing you, my first birth is what made me empower myself as well.
If you are concerned about the cord being wrapped around your baby throat just pay attention or have your partner pay attention. You can delivery the head and hold it in place near your crotch and then birth the rest of your baby, this way the cord is not become tighter as the rest of your baby is born (I hope that made sense :0)) As for the cord you can also do a square knot to tie to off and sterilize your scissors in hot boiling water prior to using them. Lotus birth is very cool, but I chose to save my placenta for encapsulation. (helps with PDD with me) I personal would suggest doing a delayed cord servering that way the blood that needs to make it to your baby gets there.
Like Mamamojo said paperwork is different everywhere to some degree. In ohio I go to the birth cert office and get a packet and fill it out , get my verifications and then turn it in. It helps if you are getting some for of prenatal care, that way you can have that individual sign off on your paperwork, but then again i am not sure of your state regulations. Def. google the regualtions in your state, that way you are doing what you need to by the book.
Ask away if you have anymore questions....I am not an expert but am trying to learn everything I can to help myself feel more empowered before our UC in about 2 weeks! :0)
One last thing.. the best way to stimulate your baby after birth is to place them directly on your chest, cover them with a blanket and lighter rub their back. This is the most calming and gentle introduction into the world.
Be aware of your baby's muscle response and coloring after birth. If your baby is limp or not gaining color you should contact help immediately. Check into apgar testing to help you feel secure about these responses.
Everything will go great, be positive and project your outcome, but be prepared to do what you are needed to do IF you have to!
Congrats on considering UC. We are planning our 6th birth/4th homebirth/ 2nd UC this June. I'm a minimalist UCer, so i thought id give you an idea of what my birth kit consists of:
*warm towels for baby after birth
* shower curtain for my floor or bed i like to birth in water, but i always prepare the land so i have the option. i place clean sheets on my bed, then shower curtain, then another set of sheets on top. This way when birth is over, the top birth sheets and plastic can be quickly removed and you have a clean ready made bed.
*clean, steril scissors to cut cord
*some kind of squirt bottle to help w sitz baths after birth
* diapers for mom. - i like to use Depends after birth that way i dont bleed on my furniture or bed. i like them better than big pads and net panties.
* water bottles that i put hot water in and place on my belly to help with after birth cramps. i get horrible afterbirth cramps and this is the only thing that helps me.
We dont tie and cut the cord. We wait till the cord is completely limp and white and then cut, without tieing or clamping it.
Also, birth certificates have been simple for us. we lived in GA with my other births and went to vital records and turned in the paperwork. ( my own prenatal records, two noterized affidavits from birth attendees - my hubby and i, lease agreement of where baby was born, proof of pregnancy, and the birth certificate paperwork)
We moved to Utah and it was more difficult to find any info on how to get a bc for a homebirth. Vital records in my small town had no idea. i called the Medical records office at the local hospital and they actually had a homebirth packet for me to pick up that contained everything I needed to turn in for a bc, but then no one had any idea of where to turn it in. I finally fund out that here, because it is a tiny town, I have to mail the packet into Vital records in SLC.
Anyhow, I say all of that to tell you that sometimes you may have to do some searching to find out the hows of getting your hb bc, but it is always possible.
If you'd like to see my UC story (lots of pics), then please message me and I will be happy to send you a link.
Also, I watched a lot of animal births on youtube when I'm pregnant. There is something about watching nature doing what comes natural. It is really empowering. They have no fear, no doctors, no interventions. Just instinct. There is one of an orangutan giving birth that I love and also an elephant who gives birth and then her baby isn't breathing. Watching her pick up her baby with her trunk and drop it gently to the ground to make it breath is just amazing.
I'm here for any questions you have, Hope that something I wrote above is help to you.
Jesus-loving, helpmate to Billy and Unschooling mama to a six and one on the way!
Awesome mamamojo! Thanks for the ideas and tips. I will definitely look online for the neonate recuss info. That's really good, because I've taken lots of cpr classes, some infant, and it didn't seem to mesh, now I know why... it sounds pretty different from being born / being an infant and not breathing...
I am looking more and more into the lotus birth option. Thanks so much!!!!
Thanks again Natasha,
I've been doing tons of research and found that the baby actually uses the placenta for oxygen and iron for the first minute after birth.... so, as long as the cord isn't tight around the baby's neck, it shouldn't hurt anything either. I believe the medical establishment has a lot of fear based things to make us feel insecure about birthing our own babies.
I'm so glad there is support here for doing it ourselves, and people who've done it, and just grateful! Thank you!!
I'd love to hear more of your story! Please PM me. Thank you so much for your list, I do have a lot of that, so yey! And the shower curtain / additional covers sounds like a great idea too. No making the bed when I'm completely exhausted!!!
I will definitely need to research my state for how to do the bc and ssc. And, watching animal births on youtube sounds good too. I looked for homebirth videos, but a lot of them cut off right after the birth, and don't talk about the what after. I have been pregnant before, so I pretty much know what to anticipate regarding labor / contractions / etc... but really wanted more of the okay, birth and thereafter... the complications, etc. etc. I did see a breech birth video, so that was educational.
And, I think I will get prenatal care, as I'm going to need it for when I file for short term disability.
Thank you so much !!!
Google " magic umbilical cord" - the first link should be from nuturingheartsbirthservice..com. it has a really cool article about the aftermath job of an umbilical cord and amazing pics! pming u my blog now.
Jesus-loving, helpmate to Billy and Unschooling mama to a six and one on the way!
You are completely welcome!! I was so happy to be able to support someone else's decision to have a UC. Our little man was born at 2:09 am on Nov 21st 2012, he's 2 weeks old now. I was so happy to have an UC. I had family and friends here that helped out with the kids and hung out and made conversation. They all did a great job of helping out with our other little ones and helping to keep the house tiddy. It never bothered me to look up while in labor and see my step mom or my friend Steph standing there. It was very comforting to share our great experience with them. I hope that everything goes amazingly for your UC and you remain empowered and strong!! Please update us later and feel free to ask more questions as you find them in your brain. :0)
ps one small bit of advice try and do a bit of stretching each day if you are not doing yoga or some other exercise routine. My chiropractor put it in an interesting term for me the other day. "Labor is like exercising without stretching first" I thought this was a good way to put it. lol
We are completely new to this and the most concerning thing for me is how to handle the umbilical cord and how to recognize any complications/distress with the baby during labor and after the birth. Any help from any of you veterans would be GREATLY appreciated! Thank you!
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