I'm gonna pop in about 3 weeks and this is our first child and we are so excited to free birth!!!
Before my husband and I got married my heart longed for the sanctity of only he and I at the birth of our children. I had no idea though if it was possible or allowed. I knew I was capable but was it legal? 5 months after we wedded we conceived! I was a little terrified. For a few reasons.
1. My husbands brother and wife were trying, and are much farther along in marriage, but have been unable to. When we conceived they were in the baby spot light but having no luck and then so quickly and "accidentally" we conceived. I was afraid of all the talk of responsibility and finances and all that (I've got mother in-law issues) plus I feel raising children is far less expensive than people make it to be. They need love not stuff.
2. I knew I wanted a home birth but knew my family and his would be opposed. All the women in my family have had their traumatic birth stories and swear that our genes just were not made for birthing regularly. And they just won't stop about the pain. Looking back I feel that their fear in birth has completely manifested itself in their relationships with their children.
And 3. Are we capable?!?!? I've since been enlightened!
I praise God for this baby! We are overjoyed!!!! The Lord has completely affirmed my original feelings of free birth! He placed every bit of information in my path and taught us so much about this process and about myself. I am in awe! My faith is deeper. My love for my husband is deeper. My love of life and my understanding of it is deeper. And I've been blessed with a sister in-law that trusts in God as well and has been an open ear these past months.
All this has not been without trials. I've had to purge myself of certain company :/ for their opposition. And it's been soo difficult to speak freely and truthfully because our culture has been so ingrained with the danger and scariness of birth. I do agree it's scary, but of course it's scary when we don't listen to our bodies and the One who made them. I feel like when God said "I will increase your pains in childbirth" He was talking about the fear associated with going against His will and design. But we, in our humaness, assume He's out to get us and we try to do it our own way (drugs and intervention) and it ends up worse.
It's been great to have found this forum. I wish I would have sooner!
We are so stoked to birth soon and I can't wait to type up the whole journey and share it! On here and hopefully with family and friends and change their perception of birth. One thing I find particularly inspiring about freebirth is how much shorter many of the labors are! No distractions to hinder anything! I love it!
I hope that in the end my story will inspire, just as many of yours have inspired and taught me!
~first time and soo ready!
Welcome! So glad you found this site! Are you doing your own prenatal care also?
My family and his were against us UCing our first... but then we ended up transferring after 10 hours of horrid back labor (DH couldn't take it, and once he mentioned it, I crumpled), my mother was in the room when DD was born at the hospital and saw how we were treated, she now fully supports UC! I hope your family comes around to support you! UP/UC is so much easier when not everyone is against you!
The last few weeks is super exciting! Cant wait to hear your birth story!
I've been to 2 prenatal visits early on and felt harassed and I was talked down to. It even felt like they were upset that i hadnt planned this pregnancy and wanted to keep it. (we are against contraceptives) I had told them I didn't want a sonogram or pelvic exam. And the ob got stern and said "why are you even here?!"
I let them do blood tests urine test. That kind of stuff. Each time my blood was fine. Urine not too good but I just needed to up my water consumption. My blood pressure is high but it's always been. I am over weight too tho. I've actually lost about 15 lbs since I got pregnant. Mainly because of all the nausea causing me to eat smaller meals more often and I've been eating better foods too. I have to say I love what pregnancy is doing for my body lol
In early December tho I woke up with a terrible chest and back pain that lasted an hour. We got to the emergency room after a half hour of the pain and they didn't start doing anything till after the pain went away. It was weird. They said I was dehydrated and in preterm labor. Idk how accurate that is tho. But in the end everything was fine. I had felt her moving the whole time. I let them do a sonogram. I really didn't want one but since I had no clue what my body was doing I let them. They also were giving me a really hard time about not continuing my prenatal care, insisting that it is my right to have prenatal care (I feel like people use words like "it's your right to..." to bully people into the normal practices and procedures). Anyway they did the sonogram and I was pleased to know that everything I suspected was correct. I had known right where the placenta was (they kept putting the fetal monitor over the placenta but I would insist they try the other side cuz they went finding the heartbeat over there) and I had known that she was still breech and facing my back. They never did get a good look at her face. I think she's a little defiant like me The sonogram also revealed the gender. A girly. We didn't say we wanted to know but thought if she mentions it then ok lol.
It took me a while to make sense of why it all happened and what it meant. Still not 100 percent sure but I do think we learned some stuff and I think it has made us a little more confident in standing our ground. And it reaffirmed to me that I know my body and baby.
I sure hope that when all is done that my family and his will be in awe and have open hearts and ears to listen to why we chose this and how it all worked. And most importantly that their understanding of trusting God and His design would be deeper
Welcome Lisa!! So glad you found us!!
Glad to meet you here.
I would be careful with this forum, even though it's great and all, to meet fellow free birthers... I love that part... if there is anything unusual about your pregnancy and you share that some people (we call them trolls) will try to use that fact to pressure you to accept interventions like ultrasound. It's their right, of course, as long as they follow forum rules and be polite but it's better to avoid confrontations where you may feel judged when you body is bending all it's effort towards being pregnant and healthy. Be happy and don't let the different voices around here stress you out or take away your peace of mind needlessly.
I personally ducked out after one of my threads went south while pregnant. I only came back after the babymoon was well over.(minus two or three posts during that dry spell)
welcome aboard! i found that the hardest parts of this process were when i lost sight of what i'd learned and just listened to what other people were afraid of. otherwise its been awesome, especially after you get past the birth itself. Recovery is so uch easirt ehrn you already feel good emotionally.
Slightly crunchy mama of three, one cs, one ubac, one vbac. Planning a vbac in October. Bookworms anonymous member.
Welcome! I love how you speak so freely of how this process has strengthened your faith. It's totally the same way for me, too! It is a VERY spiritual process for me, and I always call my unassisted births "assisted by God" because really, I couldn't have done it without my faith. ;)
DD (9) ~ DD (7) ~ DS (5) ~ DS (2)
Mama to 10 babies in Heaven
A mentor of mine recently confronted me about our choice and said (among many other things)
"birth is a ver scary very dangerous thing..." and after I mentioned "god did not give us the spirit of fear" she said "...proverbs is full of wisdom but it does not speak specifically about childbirth. I think your choice is very unwise"
No where in scripture does it say birth is scary or dangerous. Why would God make the means of new life dangerous? The bible many times mentions increase in pain, womans labor pains, her crying out in labor etc. It's an intense thing that takes trust, vulnerability, loss of control, tremendous energy! Fear is what makes it difficult.
If you fear falling while rock climbing you will most certainly fall. Or freeze there until you loose all energy and fall.
I wish all this could be spoken and understood by the fearfull. Oh well
people will always have a problem with any free choice that one makes,whether it be over pregnancy,birth,or anything else.
that problem is theirs and remains with them.
when you are sure of your decision,nothing and no one can take that away from you.
I will post as freely as I wish here and if anyone has a problem with what I post,that is their problem,not mine.
women need this forum for advice,strength and support.
faith is strong
Isaiah 66:7-9 talks of the birth of Zion. I finished Isaiah last month & those verses jumped out at me too.
As to God giving doctors knowledge, I would cautiously agree w/ that. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" so (for me) it depends on the doctor. Doctors are fallible people (like all of us) & my perception is that most of them cannot come away from medical school w/out picking up some humanist leanings or eroding their foundation, assuming they are a believer. But I daresay that acquiring negative traits is true w/ any profession.
I've know cops who are the nicest people in the world before they go into training & after several years they've clearly become prejudiced against certain races or classes of people.
Keep us posted Lisa!
I can also tell that she's anterior cuz all the kicks I feel are on the inside
She's in perfect position! I can't wait to see her!
Hit send to soon. I was saying I'm not going to tell many people about our plans. Our last child, our daughter, was stillborn at 39 weeks so I know a lot of people would criticize our choice because of that. Most people would seek more intervention after a loss like that but not us. We are confidant with the choice we are making. I have researched a ton and I'm looking forward to doing things differently this time around. I wish you all the best, and I will be praying for you!