1st UC and getting scared - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 07-20-2013, 02:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am 31 weeks 2 days and planning on having a UC as long as baby keeps cooking...at least until 36 weeks (when a midwife advised me that it was safest)....I'm just getting more scared and nervous...we are all prepared for the UC and ready for any emergency that may astride (were only 5 minutes from the hospital)...with my first 3 children i had vaginal births but had gotten an epidural with each because the dead beat dad i was with wouldn't help me with labor at .all...just watched animal planet and occasionally told me to be quite, so i got the epidural due to no support.....and i know having a UC there is no p pain relief from medication.....the man I'm with now is amazing and anytime i twinge, or groan, or even walk different he's right by my side rubbing my belly and wants to know exactly how i feel.....even getting up at night to go to the bathroom if i accidentally wake him (i have a toon of pillows just for my comfort all over the bed...lol) he jumps right out if bed and starts asking me all kinds of questions and making sure I'm ok and then helps me out of bed (although i don't always need it) and waits outside if the bathroom and waits until I'm done and then walks me back to bed and adjusts all my pillows and covers me, makes sure i don't need a drink or a snack (which i frequently get in the middle of the night) and once I'm situated he'll get back I'm bed and everytime he moved asks if I'm ok or if he's laying ok, etc...then he'll rub my belly for awhile and talk to Lo.....he works full time, alot if overtime and since i put myself on bedrest had taken all responsibility of the house and kids ( i get alot of the cleaning done still it just takes all day to just wash dishes and fold laundry)....i think that labor will be easier having him with me and being so supportive and willing to basically do anything for my comfort...he is esthetic about catching his son at the time of birth.... .I'm just scared and gave expressed this to him and he assures me that everything will be ok and he will do whatever i need him to do....i know that i can labor in any positron (i can't stand being flat on my back like in the hospital) but what is the best position to give birth in? I know there is my back of choose, my hands and knees or squatting.....and in labor i can basically do anything to help ease the pain....uggg....maybey i just need to stop thinking about it....we still have 4 weeks at least....just everytime i look at the calendar the time gets closer and closer
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#2 of 9 Old 07-22-2013, 02:04 PM
 
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In pushing, I liked kneeling until the baby crowned then getting on hands and knees to birth mine. A supported squat is very effective too. Practice a few positions in your last few weeks so you'll know how to do them, then find what works best in the moment. In a long pushing stage you would need to use several. With birthing my babies, I learned I need to just do it and ignore how and whether others are helping me, ignore that they're there at all. Be grateful for the support and use their help, but don't focus on it. Because they can support but they can't do it for me, you know?

Don't think about pain level. The signs at the hospital where I had my first were about what frowny face is your pain level so I'd be rating it all along. Pain sounds bad. Intensity is good, it is productive. You need intense contractions to get your baby born. You can still find some comfort amid intensity.

Things that helped me find comfort:

Abdominal breathing: breathing slow and deep and expanding my belly as I breathed in

Project to distract early on, like baking

Go on with life as normal until you can't

Smile, laugh

Bath, shower

Side lying when I could stand it to rest, supported upright positions otherwise. Use pillows, birth ball, ottoman. A variety of positions whatever works at the time.

Counterpressure: Heel of birth partner's hand pressed on the lower back, hard.

Hip squeeze: partner puts hands on your sides at the top of your hips and squeezes inward, opens the lower part of the pelvis

When changing positions, do it quick when a wave lets up, don't get caught unready with the next one.

Breathe and stretch and wiggle loose the tension after each wave.

Keep sounds deep not high in pitch, keep words/mantras positive "yes" "open" "peace" "I can" "I'm ok" etc.

Drink plenty of juice and water.

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#3 of 9 Old 07-22-2013, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by JamieCatheryn View Post

In pushing, I liked kneeling until the baby crowned then getting on hands and knees to birth mine. A supported squat is very effective too. Practice a few positions in your last few weeks so you'll know how to do them, then find what works best in the moment. In a long pushing stage you would need to use several. With birthing my babies, I learned I need to just do it and ignore how and whether others are helping me, ignore that they're there at all. Be grateful for the support and use their help, but don't focus on it. Because they can support but they can't do it for me, you know?
Don't think about pain level. The signs at the hospital where I had my first were about what frowny face is your pain level so I'd be rating it all along. Pain sounds bad. Intensity is good, it is productive. You need intense contractions to get your baby born. You can still find some comfort amid intensity.
Things that helped me find comfort:
Abdominal breathing: breathing slow and deep and expanding my belly as I breathed in
Project to distract early on, like baking
Go on with life as normal until you can't
Smile, laugh
Bath, shower
Side lying when I could stand it to rest, supported upright positions otherwise. Use pillows, birth ball, ottoman. A variety of positions whatever works at the time.
Counterpressure: Heel of birth partner's hand pressed on the lower back, hard.
Hip squeeze: partner puts hands on your sides at the top of your hips and squeezes inward, opens the lower part of the pelvis
When changing positions, do it quick when a wave lets up, don't get caught unready with the next one.
Breathe and stretch and wiggle loose the tension after each wave.
Keep sounds deep not high in pitch, keep words/mantras positive "yes" "open" "peace" "I can" "I'm ok" etc.
Drink plenty of juice and water.

Thank you! It will just be me and hubby home as long add we have time to get kids to the baby sitter or daycare....my labors are generally fast so if we have time it well be just the two of us.... In the hospital i was never allowed to labor in any position except my back which i think between that and constant rude nurses telling me to be quite and no support made the pain even worse....I've heard giving birth on hands and knees was easiest for alot of moms and caused less pain, i heard that squatting was good too but I'm not sure if that would work for me during birth due to it only being my hubby and i home and since he is going to catch baby I'm not sure i could support myself squatting well enough....the deep vocal noises really helps to hear that that helps (sorry probably didn't make sense) we have everything ready now just trying to get baby to stay in there a few more weeks at least....I'm just really trying to better prepare myself mentally for labor and birth....thank you for you're help!!!
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#4 of 9 Old 07-25-2013, 12:28 PM
 
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What helped me most to prepare for a UC was to watch birth videos of women doing just that, having a really clear vision of how I was going to birth (position, which room, etc) and remembering that it was just going to be a day or so at most of my life, so even if I was incredibly uncomfortable, I could do it.  Reminding myself of other women giving birth all over the world at that same moment was also helpful.

 

Check out the internet video list I've posted- some of those might bring inspiration!


JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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#5 of 9 Old 07-25-2013, 06:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mataji4 View Post

What helped me most to prepare for a UC was to watch birth videos of women doing just that, having a really clear vision of how I was going to birth (position, which room, etc) and remembering that it was just going to be a day or so at most of my life, so even if I was incredibly uncomfortable, I could do it.  Reminding myself of other women giving birth all over the world at that same moment was also helpful.

Check out the internet video list I've posted- some of those might bring inspiration!

Where is the link to the videos i would love to watch some....I'm going to look done up now to....thank you
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#6 of 9 Old 07-25-2013, 08:14 PM
 
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I found a birthing ball (it's the same as the big exercise balls) was wonderful in labor. I could lean over it and rock, or sit on it and bounce and support myself on the edge of the bed. I gave birth in a birthing center with midwives, not unassisted, but gave birth naturally and with no pain meds. For me, massage and counterpressure did not work, but they do for a lot of women, so you might try to have your DH try some of that to see if it is helpful to you. I also spent a lot of time just standing and leaning against the wall, and took a long shower in labor (the tub was not relaxing for me in pregnancy, so although I'd thought for years of a possible water birth, decided against one during my pregnancy).

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#7 of 9 Old 07-25-2013, 09:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ctjamommy View Post

Where is the link to the videos i would love to watch some....I'm going to look done up now to....thank you

She posted the list and links to the videos in a separate thread. smile.gif
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#8 of 9 Old 07-25-2013, 09:33 PM
 
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I don't know if this link will help but it's worth a try! http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1387267/inspirational-videos#post_17415204
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#9 of 9 Old 07-26-2013, 08:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you all!! I've made it to 32 weeks....trying to stay positive!!!
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