Planning on baby #3 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 09-14-2013, 06:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello! My husband and I are planning on having another baby. I am sick and tired of doctors and if we get pregnant I want to go UP/UC.

Our first baby I had in a hospital. My OB labeled me "high risk" when I now don't feel I was. However, because of that I couldn't transfer to a birthing center. I was stuck with a hospital birth. The birth was horrible. I labored at home until the contractions were 5 minutes apart. My OB knew I wanted to go drug free and I wanted to be free to move around. Instead I was pressured to get an epidural because I was "high risk". After 11 hours of labor I agreed. When it came time to push my epidural wore off. Thank God it did! I pushed for 3 hours to get her out. When her head came out she was face up. They thought the cord was around her neck even though her heart rate was great the entire time. They had no clue she was face up. Later my OB told me if he had known she was face up I would have had a c-section right away. I said "Then I'm glad you didn't know!" Really?? A c-section!! Why?? I pushed her out!! There was no need for a section!

Then earlier this year my husband and I got pregnant again. I knew right away I was pregnant. I also knew something wasn't right. Sure enough, I started bleeding. I wasn't panicked and wanted to miscarry at home. I was only 8 weeks and there's nothing doctors can do. However, my husband got scared and I called my (different) OB. He sent me to the ER. That's when all hell broke lose. I felt violated. I won't go into detail, but they ended up sending me home and I did pass the baby at home.

Now we want to get pregnant again. Since the miscarriage I have been tracking my body signals and everything looks great. I believe 100% the miscarriage wasn't hormonal and there's nothing telling me it woukd happen again. I told my husband this time I am only seeing a doctor if something is wrong. I don't want any testing or any ultrasounds, unless absolutly needed.

I'm glad I found this forum smile.gif
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#2 of 10 Old 09-14-2013, 10:11 AM
 
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I'm so sorry you had to deal with horrible hospital experiences, but thankfully you can change it this time around! Good luck! 😃
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#3 of 10 Old 09-14-2013, 02:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you! I look forward to learning all I can and for my BFP!!
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#4 of 10 Old 09-26-2013, 08:23 PM
 
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Good luck to you! I completely understand how you feel on the hospital thing. I had my first in the hospital and although I was happy talking my little girl home I felt very angry, violated and all their "standard procedures" that if I even tried to question they basically shamed me and made me feel like I was endangering my baby. For example, after one day I wanted to go home instead of their standard two. They were mean, shaming and telling me I'm putting my child in danger and so on. I left there knowing I'll do everything I can to not go that route again with future children. I'm pregnant again now and from day one I envisioned a beautiful home birth with my hubby at my side. To ease his mind tho I settled on a birth house with midwives. I went there for some months but am finding they really aren't very different. I've decided to go back to what feels good and right to me. Just me and hubby having unassisted home water birth. 11 weeks to go. Am so very excited. Good luck to you!
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#5 of 10 Old 09-27-2013, 06:26 AM
 
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Sgnorton123 I feel the same as you and my experience is very similar to yours. My hubby is afraid of UC as well, I am thinking about not waking him up if it happens at night. I don't need a fearful atmosphere during labour and I know he will try to persuade me to go to hospital.
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#6 of 10 Old 09-27-2013, 01:02 PM
 
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Firmfoot, my hubby at first was upset about my decision, scared. I really want to respect his feelings because it's his child as well, but I feel so strongly about this it's something I just have to do! I've already gotten a pool and have talked to him a lot about things I'm reading and learning. I think he's still a little nervous but coming around to it more and understands this is very important to me. And of course I emphasized to him that if there is any complications we'll seek help asap. Maybe it would help your husband if you showed him positive articles and links, birth stories. I'm so very glad to have found this site with other women in the same boat as me. Although, I have my mother's full support on this as well as it was her idea to begin with which is also wonderful!
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#7 of 10 Old 09-27-2013, 05:08 PM
 
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My mom is totally for it as we'll. if she was still having babies she said she would be having them at home. (There were 9 of us). My dad also seems to be ok with the idea. I found out he was born at home himself.
Yes I think I will just have to face my husband and do what you have done, just talk about it with him.
I am also really glad to have found this forum. I have learned a lot here and found that UC can be normal contrary to popular opinion.
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#8 of 10 Old 09-27-2013, 05:10 PM
 
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Ps, when are u due? My due date is October 26.
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#9 of 10 Old 09-27-2013, 05:53 PM
 
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I'm due dec 12th. and no judgement from me...not gonna say it never crossed my mind to not call my husband if hes at work when the time comes! haha...i really think he's coming around though and I think he'd end up upset with me for making him miss the birth...so i'll be calling him..he does ask questions from time to time which I appreciate much. I want him to be well informed as well. last night he says "what are you gonna do about all the crap the dr would have taken out of you? I ask " you mean the placenta?" ya that! i told him not to worrry. I'm on top of it. It will come out and if it decides to hold in there a bit the first feeding should contract the uterus enough to get it out. if not i go to the hospital. no biggie! :) he also was concerned about finding the right pool for me and is already prepared with a hose under our bed and a plan where to hook it up to run hot water into it and everything. i think its going quite well. it just takes time. talk to your hubby lots about it and i'm sure he'll come around. be sure and emphasize how important it is to you and assuming you fully plan on going to hospital if complications arise remind him of that :)

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#10 of 10 Old 09-27-2013, 11:20 PM
 
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Yes I agree. I will have to talk with him, it's just so disheartening hearing all the excuses and hidden fear. I can understand where he is coming from though.
Me and him must think positively and not let doubt and fear get the best of us.
I hope your UC goes well, wishing you the best birth.
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