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#1 of 10 Old 09-26-2013, 11:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am planning on my first UC (if all goes according to my plans). It will be my 3rd baby. It will hopefully be a UC because I am tired of doctors "helping" me birth. I haven't had any really terrible experiences but I just don't need all the "help" and interference.

     Anyway, down to my questions. I would like to know from others who have been down this road already if I am prepared and informed enough to be able to think of myself as making an informed and responsible choice.

 

     I have prepared by doing the following:

-Doing a lot of reading and youtube-ing on the topic.

-Studying the complications that can occur and their solutions (ie Nuchal chord, breach delivery ect).

-I've printed out a first aid birth booklet.

-I still am going to go through the motions and "rehearse" before the big event just so I can prepare myself for the whole birth and so I can practice being, and staying, in a calm state of mind.

 

The above just doesn't seem like much for having a UC but on the other hand, I suppose you don't need much to begin with. What's your opinion as to my preparations, are they sufficient? I think most of the preparation is a mental preparation for me.

I also have a stethoscope a digital thermometer and a blood pressure machine but I don't think I will even be needing those things.

I also live 2 minutes by car from our small local hospital, just in-case.

 

One thing I don't have is my husbands support. He is afraid of the situation. With that attitude I would rather let him sleep through the event if it takes place at night. Where I live the health care (including childbirth) is paid for by the Gov't so hubby would rather I did it at the hospital.

 

PS I have read posts from mothers wondering if height makes an issue during labour and I just want to say that I am 4'8" and I did it twice. The first took 4 hours of real labour and the second was 5 hrs. I had no complications whatsoever, and tearing was minimal, I didn't need stitches. I suspect even that could have been prevented had the doc provided a little more time for baby to crown and everything to stretch. But she's a good doctor. I haven't told her my plans for UC because I know she will think I'm crazy and I don't want trouble.

 

Websites and things I found inspiring and helpful for my UC:

-en.hesperian.org
-mothercultureone.com (she also has her birthing videos on youtube. She is sooo amazingly calm through her births.)
-bauhauswife.ca See her birth videos. Also has a down to earth way of life that I find inspiring.

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#2 of 10 Old 09-29-2013, 07:16 PM
 
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If you feel confident in your ability that's just about all you need :wink
You may want to consider having a friend on call to care for your other children if your DH is away when you go into labor. 
You may want to check out this book: http://www.rixafreeze.com/pdf/gregorywhite.pdf
 

Also this is kind of a fun list to check out for homebirth supplies: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/602248/not-so-basic-homebirth-supplies/220
 


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#3 of 10 Old 09-29-2013, 08:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you very much.
I have also found another UCer in my area that is willing to come out to births or at least discuss it with me and hubby. It's so encouraging finding other people who UC, including this forum.
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#4 of 10 Old 09-29-2013, 09:35 PM
 
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That's so awesome that you found someone in real life to connect with! 
I'm so lucky-my best friend had 4 homebirths and wished the MW wasn't there so she totally supports me UCing when the time comes :love


Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 
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#5 of 10 Old 10-01-2013, 06:45 AM
 
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In a lot of ways, you can only prepare so much for a UC.  After that you must cross your fingers and hope you get lucky, because the preparation of knowing what some complications are and what one should do in those situations is not a guarantee that anyone will be able to act effectively in an emergency, or that even if you do all the right things, that you will be able to intervene effectively at home, without the support of trained individuals and life-saving technology.

 

I once planned an unassisted birth for my first baby.  I had untreated anxiety disorder that prevented me from accessing medical care. So I had an "unassisted" pregnancy, did all the "research" and preparation for an unassisted birth.  While in labor I changed my mind and decided to go to the hospital, and my daughter was born there, with minimal intervention, although I appreciated the support I got during the long pushing stage. 

 

I gave birth to my second child in a circumstance where I did not have access to a trained birthing attendant or lifesaving hospital technology, and it was virtually unassisted. (A paramedic arrived just in time to catch my baby and attempt to resuscitate her, then they transported her to the hospital - we were just minutes away from the hospital.  She lived four days but would have seemed stillborn otherwise.)   I could tell you all about how I knew my daughter's cord was prolapsed, how I felt the little loop of it while I was all alone.  How I knew what you are "supposed" to do in that situation (relieve pressure on the cord), but there was nothing her dad or I could do.  We had already called 911, not because of the cord, but because I did not want to give birth alone, with just me and her father.  We knew we wanted someone there.  You could call it instinct, but it wasn't enough.  I was operating almost completely on instinct during her birth and it was not enough.  I was a sense organ.

 

Time moved strangely.  A half an hour felt like five minutes.  I was paralyzed, I could not talk, and she was coming down.  I couldn't do anything but just work to push, and so I did, very calmly.  Someone experienced in birth, someone with the proper tools and knowledge, could have helped my daughter.  My daughter's odds would have improved greatly, astronomically, had we been with our midwife in the hospital like we'd planned to be.  Even just a midwife in the home with us might have helped, might have, although I can't say that confidently.  

 

It's all well and good to say trust birth or trust yourself, until you have been in the situation where trust is all you have and it isn't enough.

 

I know that people will call this "dead baby card" but the reason why people bring this type of thing up is because death is a real part of being human.  Babies do die.  Mothers die.  I'm not angry about my daughter's death because it was a mercy to her at that point.  But I regret all the time the circumstances of her birth, because it led to her injury.  She was a very, very sick baby.  I never heard her cry.  She would have been five months old today.  

 

Ultimately, we were very unlucky that the two things coincided - us not being at the hospital as we planned to be during her birth, and her cord being pinched between her head and my body for half an hour.  If one or the other had not happened, things could have been quite different.  Perhaps I would be here telling you all how gloriously unnecessary those paramedics were and how my body knew just what to do.  Or perhaps I would be talking about how I had an emergency c-section but wonder if it was really necessary and next time.....

 

I think a lot about the narratives of birth.  About the things we tell ourselves.

 

So, are you prepared?  I don't know.  It's certainly your choice and your choice alone to make.  My advice?  Just be lucky, and everything will be fine.

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#6 of 10 Old 10-01-2013, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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II am so sorry to hear about your loss.
Chord prolapse and shoulder dystocia are my two fears, I suppose because they are not so easily dealt with. As I mentioned somewhere, we live only 2 minutes away from our hospital. I know that is no guarantee but it helps.
Thank you for your helpful, and common sense advice.
Once again I am very sorry about your loss.
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#7 of 10 Old 10-01-2013, 06:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by firmfoot View Post

II am so sorry to hear about your loss.
Chord prolapse and shoulder dystocia are my two fears, I suppose because they are not so easily dealt with. As I mentioned somewhere, we live only 2 minutes away from our hospital. I know that is no guarantee but it helps.
Thank you for your helpful, and common sense advice.
Once again I am very sorry about your loss.

 

Thank you for your kind words, firmfoot.  I wish you all the best as you are thinking about how you will welcome this new baby.  

 

And yes, I agree.... being close to the hospital is a blessing.

 

We also live two minutes from the hospital.  I count every time we pass it on the way home.  We called 911 as soon as my water broke, because I couldn't walk.  I didn't feel the cord for at least another five minutes.  By the time the paramedics arrived, maybe another five, ten minutes past that, she was probably past the point of no return.  At the time I convinced myself that everything would be fine because the paramedics were on their way, but the reality is, we weren't close enough.  Between my water breaking and the hospital was forty minutes, our 911 call, my inability to walk, the bulky furniture in my living room, the stairs that I could only be carried down in a stair chair, the wait for the paramedics, the wait for me to finish giving birth in my kitchen because she was already crowning, the drive to the hospital.  They took her separately because it would be faster.  I arrived almost 20 minutes later. I can say with certainty that the paramedics did their job impeccably, and because they did so, they bought us four days.  Two minutes is never two minutes in an emergency.

If only we could have crystal balls so we could see the future, eh?


DD1 6/2009 DD2 5/1/2013-5/5/2013 (HIE) DS 3/2014
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#8 of 10 Old 10-02-2013, 01:43 AM
 
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I had 2 amazing UC births. Knowing full well of the risks we were taking, my hubby and I went for it and I wouldn't of birthed any other way. With both births I showed up at the local midwives center at finding out about my pregnancy, stated that I planned to UC, and  any advice or knowledge they could give me would be greatly appreciated. Lucky for me they were amazing. I studied by preggo butt off the first few months with both babes. Make sure you have the stuff you might not need but would be helpful for the birthing process. Cord clamps are handy, as are the absorbant pads cause you will leak and bleed. We had a suturing kit on hand with both babes, as well as scapels. I washed with yarrow afterward as it helps with infection and I drank a lot of electrolye juices before, during and after. We lived without electricity for both births so proper lighting was helpful for my dh/midman. If your dh doesn't support your choice I would highly recommend having a doula/ friend there to help you. Once baby comes it can get kind of hectic and a helpful pair of hands is great. Remember that there are 7 billion people on the planet for a reason, and as women, our bodies are meant to reproduce. Blessings and good birthing to you.

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#9 of 10 Old 10-02-2013, 02:00 AM
 
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Don't want to understate the risks. Life is a risky business. We also had a bulber? to suck mucus and flem out. A few other things but it's been 9 yrs for me so the details get lost in time. The midwife in my area was dear enough to pack and sell us a birthing kit for each babe. The first kit we packed together and everything was there. For the 2nd kit, we called ahead and she packed it (we live aways out of the nearest town) and the 2nd cord clamp was not included...we didn't want to open the birthing kit cause it was clean and sterile in it's packaging and so it wasn't until my son was born did we realize. We boiled the godfathers ChuckyTee shoelace and it worked. Not optimal but it did the job. I digress... I'm sure you can buy birthing kits online now, or at least find out out what the average midwife brings to a home birth. Ina May Gaskin was a great inspiration to me as was Heart and Hands. Birthing from Within was bloodied from both births.

I'm always hesitant to recommend anything but if UC is what you truly want then you should do it, knowing fully the risk that your taking.

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#10 of 10 Old 10-28-2013, 10:50 AM
 
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Originally Posted by cyclamen View Post
 

In a lot of ways, you can only prepare so much for a UC.  After that you must cross your fingers and hope you get lucky, because the preparation of knowing what some complications are and what one should do in those situations is not a guarantee that anyone will be able to act effectively in an emergency, or that even if you do all the right things, that you will be able to intervene effectively at home, without the support of trained individuals and life-saving technology.

 

I once planned an unassisted birth for my first baby.  I had untreated anxiety disorder that prevented me from accessing medical care. So I had an "unassisted" pregnancy, did all the "research" and preparation for an unassisted birth.  While in labor I changed my mind and decided to go to the hospital, and my daughter was born there, with minimal intervention, although I appreciated the support I got during the long pushing stage. 

 

I gave birth to my second child in a circumstance where I did not have access to a trained birthing attendant or lifesaving hospital technology, and it was virtually unassisted. (A paramedic arrived just in time to catch my baby and attempt to resuscitate her, then they transported her to the hospital - we were just minutes away from the hospital.  She lived four days but would have seemed stillborn otherwise.)   I could tell you all about how I knew my daughter's cord was prolapsed, how I felt the little loop of it while I was all alone.  How I knew what you are "supposed" to do in that situation (relieve pressure on the cord), but there was nothing her dad or I could do.  We had already called 911, not because of the cord, but because I did not want to give birth alone, with just me and her father.  We knew we wanted someone there.  You could call it instinct, but it wasn't enough.  I was operating almost completely on instinct during her birth and it was not enough.  I was a sense organ.

 

Time moved strangely.  A half an hour felt like five minutes.  I was paralyzed, I could not talk, and she was coming down.  I couldn't do anything but just work to push, and so I did, very calmly.  Someone experienced in birth, someone with the proper tools and knowledge, could have helped my daughter.  My daughter's odds would have improved greatly, astronomically, had we been with our midwife in the hospital like we'd planned to be.  Even just a midwife in the home with us might have helped, might have, although I can't say that confidently.  

 

It's all well and good to say trust birth or trust yourself, until you have been in the situation where trust is all you have and it isn't enough.

 

I know that people will call this "dead baby card" but the reason why people bring this type of thing up is because death is a real part of being human.  Babies do die.  Mothers die.  I'm not angry about my daughter's death because it was a mercy to her at that point.  But I regret all the time the circumstances of her birth, because it led to her injury.  She was a very, very sick baby.  I never heard her cry.  She would have been five months old today.  

 

Ultimately, we were very unlucky that the two things coincided - us not being at the hospital as we planned to be during her birth, and her cord being pinched between her head and my body for half an hour.  If one or the other had not happened, things could have been quite different.  Perhaps I would be here telling you all how gloriously unnecessary those paramedics were and how my body knew just what to do.  Or perhaps I would be talking about how I had an emergency c-section but wonder if it was really necessary and next time.....

 

I think a lot about the narratives of birth.  About the things we tell ourselves.

 

So, are you prepared?  I don't know.  It's certainly your choice and your choice alone to make.  My advice?  Just be lucky, and everything will be fine.

:HugI'm so sorry for you loss. There are no words. :heartbeat


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